


The Rose

by bettyH20



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:53:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 120,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettyH20/pseuds/bettyH20
Summary: Sidney hates his hometown, but reluctantly helps his brother make his dreams come true.After having an unfriendly encounter with the new librarian Charlotte one morning, who wakes him up roughly from his sleep, he tries to avoid Sanditon, but fails miserably.Will they give in to instant attraction, or will quick assumptions, prejudices and Sidney's difficult past stand in their way?
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 936
Kudos: 874





	1. Sleeping on a Desk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nervous, as always ... - hope you like it.

When Sidney entered the small Café, he took a deep breath.

He loved the smell of coffee beans, leather sofas, and old wood. The café was the only place here where he really felt comfortable, even if he really hated the town in which the 200-year-old building was located.

He had grown up here in Sanditon with his siblings, but now he was trying to spend as little time as possible in the coastal town.

Although it was almost impossible to delete the place from his life, since half of the town belonged to his family.

His older brother Tom was a great visionary and had fulfilled his dream with the Old-Sanditon Bathing Resort.It practically covered half the beach, where one could go into the water in detailed replicas of the earlier bathing machines, a luxurious wellness area with a hotel and a spa that was run by Sidney's younger siblings Arthur and Diana.

In addition, Tom and his wife Mary owned a restaurant, the best in town, which was mainly looked after by Mary.

The last project was a club that Tom wanted to set up in the old event rooms of the town, but he wasn't really very successful with it.

Since Tom was not a businessman at all and had no idea about numbers, Sidney was forced to help him.

So he had spent his Friday night checking the accounts of his family's businesses.It was quite late when he noticed that Tom had one of his credits registered in the Café on the seafront.

But the Café didn't belong to Tom, it belonged to Sidney.In rage, he had grabbed his car keys and got into his car to drive the two hours from London to Sanditon in the middle of the night.

_"The Rose_ " - that's what Sidney had called the Café, in memory of his mother.

It was the last house before the cliffs began, was more than 200 years old and had a beautiful terrace from which one could be on the beach in a few steps. The upper rooms were used as a warehouse, although it was actually a fairly large apartment.

More than 10 years ago, shortly after graduating from collage, he had bought the building and made the plan for the Café.

He hadn't known where the fascination with coffee came from, even though his mother claimed it was in his genes.The old house right on the cliffs had attracted him since he was a child, so he didn't think about it long when it was going to be demolished.

For months he had been looking for the right facility, found a very old but beautiful coffee machine in Scotland with its own grinder for the beans and had invested a lot of money, but before the cafe was finished his life had broken apart and he had left England.

His brother Arthur had finally opened it together with Mary, the two insisted on shifts over the weekend, for which Sidney paid them well despite loud protests, but Sidney took care of everything else.

It was his dream, at some point - and he really didn't know when this would be - to run the Café entirely himself and sell his own coffee grown in the West Indies.

That was why he had bought the old coffee roastery and the whole area around it, which had been in the Parker family for generations and which lay outside the town on the river.However, Tom had to give up the company due to unbelievable financing errors and had sold the whole area.

Nobody knew that the coffee roastery was his because he had bought it through a middleman, but one day he would get the factory back to work.

At the same time that he bought the Café, he had started an aid organization with his oldest friend, a real lord.They both wanted to do something meaningful and by now they have been very successful.They were active in several countries, and while Babington was mainly concerned with the organizational side, Sidney himself traveled around the countries to support the population in the establishment of schools or the right cultivation of food and the construction of their houses.

He had just returned from Sri Lanka a month ago, where he had gone shortly after Christmas.

Now he went in the dark to the back of the office, where all his brother's business records were.Tom didn't want all the contracts and papers in his house because it made him nervous, and since Sidney had a modern office set up in his Café, Tom brought his papers there.

With a sigh, he sat down at the desk, opened his laptop and rummaged for Tom's investment contracts to get an overview.

Around 5 a.m., Sidney realized that Tom was paying the installments for the loan to finance his last outdoor sauna through the Café's business account, since he didn't have the money himself.

He was already angry now, but then he noticed in the documents the concept for a completely new project, the _Denham Place Conference center & Museum._

Tom had sent him an email with the same title last week, but he hadn't read it. Now he couldn't resist and opened the file. It was about a completely new project in which he, Sidney, was named as the main investor. The more he read, the angrier he got, so he stopped looking at it.

Tom's always new ideas were the biggest argument between the brothers, since Tom called for help every time he ran out of money.

But no matter how many times Sidney helped him, it was never enough.

Frustrated and exhausted, he laid his head on the desk for a short rest.

It was only an hour and a half later when he was roughly woken from sleep, his head was pounding, he was tired, and the rude treatment didn't really help his bad mood.

—- ~ —-

Charlotte had been walking along the beach for half an hour that morning before going to her weekend job.

She had been living here in Sanditon for almost half a year now, and in addition to her job as an assistant to a respected book editor at a major London publisher, she had many other smaller jobs.Among other things, she occasionally took care of the children of Mary and Tom, who she found really adorable.

When she arrived in Sanditon on a cold January day for her job, her room reservation at the hotel had been lost.She hadn't known where she should go, but when she was standing in the parking lot in front of the hotel wondering what to do now that the hotel was fully booked for an event at the city's wellness resort, she had to watch helplessly as a Merzedes slipped against a snow wall.

She immediately ran to help and helped the confused woman in the passenger seat get out.

The two people in the car had had a terrible argument, Charlotte realized that the evening event was the reason and that the man, who was apparently called Tom, had forgotten to tell his wife, who was probably called Mary, that he had scheduled her to work at the reception and that they had no babysitter for the evening.

Only when they were done to yell at each other did they notice Charlotte and Mary had apologized extensively.But Charlotte had seen a chance and offered to take care of the children since she had 7 siblings if she could stay the night for it.

And so it happened that Charlotte stayed two months in Trafalger House and then decided to rent an apartment and stay entirely in the beautiful coastal town.

She helped Tom organize his office and when a job at the local library became available, Charlotte accepted it enthusiastically.

And what she enjoyed most, she worked every weekend in the small, beautiful Café on the promenade.

She immediately fell in love with the building.The Café was small, but completely different from the rest of the Parker companies.It was simple, with soft colors and old, tasteful furniture.The counter was ancient and from what was once Sanditon's only inn, the Denham Arms.It was rustic, but not rough, but stylish and elegant without being overbearing.

It didn't really fit Tom's usually over-the-top and lavish style, but he'd shown it to her as one of his companies.

She felt comfortable and at home in the Café with the sweet name _The Rose_ , and she was looking forward to her shift today. 

She hummed in a good mood as she unlocked the front door and turned on the light.It was especially nice today because she would be working with Mary.Arthur wanted to go on a trip with the kids, so her friend had some time.

Charlotte had barely walked behind the counter when she noticed the unfamiliar smell.It was not uncomfortable, on the contrary, strangely Charlotte's heart fluttered and she took a deep breath.

What was that?

It smelled of ... cigars, no cigarettes, a very pleasant, earthy and soft aftershafe and something else.Something that made her inside tremble.

The only question was: where did it come from?

Charlotte looked around determinedly and saw the light coming from the back office.Did someone break in here?

She hurriedly picked up the stick, which was always leaning behind the door and was normally used to push the coffee beans down the large funnel above the grinder. 

On tiptoe, her heart pounding, she went back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I really hope you like this story, I love to write it ...  
> I also have no idea about aid organizations, I just thought the idea was nice. Therefore - just fiction ...  
> Please enjoy it ...


	2. What the hell ....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your kind comments, they are really very encouraging.   
> Thank you ...

The man slept with his head on the desk, his face turned away from her. A laptop was standing next to him and it was just the single desk lamp on, so she couldn't see much.

But then she saw all the documents on the table, they were Tom's business books, and her temper rose instantly.

"What are you doing here," she called out, pushing the stick lightly into the man's side. She didn't want to hurt him, she just wanted him to wake up.

Moaning and with an incomprehensible murmur, he raised his head, blinked in confusion, and winced as she pressed the stick against his ribs again.

"What do you think of sneaking in here?And how did you get in here anyway?” Charlotte was too worried to look at the man properly, she leaned over the desk and collected the papers.

"These are the private accounts of the Parker family, what do you think who you are?"

Completely confused and a little dazed, Sidney stared at the woman yelling at him.

Did she really hit him with the coffee bean stick?

The more she insulted him, the angrier he got, he had always had a very light temper and something about her was driving him much more than usual.

"Who I am?" He asked, wiping his face with one hand and startled when she pulled one of the documets out from under his laptop.He had to reach for it hastily, otherwise the laptop would have fallen on the floor and slowly it was enough for him.

"Would you please be careful?" He growled as he brought his things to safety, but she just kept scolding.

"Get out of here before I call the police," she yelled, then changed her mind and stood up in front of him."No, you won't go, you'll give me your ID and I'll make a copy of it."

For a brief moment, Sidney thought she looked really cute - adorable when she was angry, but he shook it off.

She actually had the audacity to stretch her hand out, and now Sidney was really angry.He got up with a low growl, he was a lot taller than her, but she didn't back away.

"Certainly not," he hissed, collecting his things and wanted to go past her, but she got in his way.

"You won't leave without giving your ID." It sounded firm and confident and Sidney had to laugh.

"What do you think, who you are, _lady_ ," Sidney hissed angrily, his brow furrowed and his eyes darkened."You wake me up in the most unfriendly way, yell at me;and what are you going to do with the stick anyway?” he asked almost amused and pointed to the stick in her hands."Do you want to hit it over my head if I don't stop?"

Charlotte looked like she was thinking about it, but he pushed past her without even looking at her.

The brief electric shock that came from his arm, which brushed her shoulder, paralyzed her for a moment, but she quickly got around.

"Oh no, you don't think you can dig through the private books here and then just go.I'll report you ...".

With the stick in her hand, she ran after him as he went into the Café . Only now did she notice how tall and muscular he was, the black shirt he was wearing and the gray vest - who was still wearing vests today?- stuck to his broad torso, just like the tight pants on his ....

She shook her head in confusion and stood in his way again as he put on his jacket, which she hadn't noticed before.

It occurred to her that the black suit jacket was the carrier of the smell she had noticed earlier, but she refused to follow the thought.

"Did you hear me? I'll report yoU to the police, what are you anyway, a sniffer, a ... a ...,“ Charlotte didn't know what to do.Who was he?

"I hope you enjoy it," said the man sarcastically as he turned to her angrily. 

Damn it.

In her concern and in the dim light, she hadn't seen how incredibly handsome he was.

The lines of his face were fine, his eyes dark, as was his hair and the short stubble on his cheeks. It was a face carved in stone, and now that he was angry, his eyes sparkled menacingly, his brows were drawn together, and his jaw was clenched tightly.

They stared at each other, both breathing heavily and something in the air seemed to be moving. 

She was too close in front of him, he could see her breasts lifting and lowering with her heavy breaths and it was terribly distracting.Her brown curls fell wildly over her shoulders, framing her really beautiful face with the chocolate-brown, shining eyes and the sweet dimple on her chin.

In order to distract himself from the more than unwanted feeling inside, he concentrated on his anger.

"You're pretty quick in your opinions without even asking for names, am I right?" He asked irritably and saw with satisfaction how she became a little unsure. "It must be nice to be so self-righteous, I just wonder where you got your seemingly extensive knowledge from? You don’t look like you’ve seen a lot of the world, so maybe it’s worth being a little more respectful.”

Sidney had leaned slightly down, the distance between them was very small, and time seemed to stand still.

At that moment the front door opened.

Mary was more than confused by the picture that was presented to her.

Charlotte, who had become like a sister to her, and Sidney, her favorite brother-in-law, were facing each other, staring at each other angrily and breathing hard.

Charlotte had a stick in her hand while Sidney clenched his fists.

"Good morning you two," she said cheerfully, approaching curiously.

Sidney didn't move at first, he seemed really angry, but Charlotte turned to her with a puzzled expression.

Undeterred, Mary went closer to her brother-in-law, his temper was hot but never aimed at her. 

"Sidney, it's so nice to finally see you here again. You must have left London early if you are already here.Why didn't you say you're coming?"

At last Sidney seemed to find himself again, he turned away from Charlotte and even managed to smile at Mary.

As always, she hugged him in greeting, she really liked her husband's brother.

"Morning, Mary," Sidney said softly, hugging her back and Mary felt his body relax slightly.

When he straightened up, he completely ignored Charlotte and reached for his laptop.

"I arrived last night and I can't stay either. I noticed a few inconsistencies in the last funding of the Resort. And Tom also sent me the contracts for his new project without even talking to me about it.I'm less than willing to invest in anything.” He looked frustrated, his anger returned, and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Is he home, I need to talk to him urgently?"

Mary stroked his upper arm before placing her basket on a nearby table."Yes, he's in his office.When do you have to go again?The children miss you terribly."

Sidney sighed but shook his head."I have to go as soon as I speak to Tom, I have a business dinner tonight."

It was only half true, but he really had no point in staying here, even though he terribly missed his nieces and nephews.

"You look tired," said Mary when she looked at him. "At least have a coffee before you go to Trafalger House." 

Only now Sidney glanced sideways at Charlotte, who had listened to the conversation completely speechless and confused.

"The well-born lady here told me that she would report me and insulted me as a snoop," he growled angrily in Charlotte's direction."I prefer to do without a coffee - after she woke me up with the stick so nicely, in the end she'll just pour the hot coffee into my face."

The grimace he was giving her could not be assigned and Charlotte rolled her eyes.

Snorting, he looked back at Mary, who looked between the two in confusion.

"With the stick?" She asked incredulously.

"I wish you a nice day," he said ironically and bowed to Charlotte, walked towards the door and then changed his mind.

He came back, kissed Mary on the cheek and gave her a small, honest smile. "Give the kids a kiss, I miss them too.I will try to come for a weekend soon."

When Mary's face brightened at the sentence, he shook his head and went to the door.

"I promise nothing, Mary." 

He was almost out when she called after him.

"At least you should have a look at Georgiana, she's been here for a week."

Sidney stopped, his face clearly showing that he wasn't enthusiastic about the idea, but nodded and disappeared.

—- ~ —-

"You woke him up with the stick?But why?” Mary looked curiously at Charlotte, who stared at the door, still confused and a little ashamed.

A subtle blush settled on her cheeks as she played uncertainly with the stick in her hands and then turned to hide it behind the door again.

“When I got here, the light was on in the office. Who should be here so early?” Charlotte held up her hands and began to defend herself."So I took the stick for safety and went back.He slept with his head on the table, so I dabbed him."

Charlotte sounded contrite and Mary laughed out loud."Oh, how I would have loved to see that." 

"He didn't answer my questions, I thought he had broken in, then I saw all the documents and maybe yelled at him a little.He didn't want to give me his ID ... ".

When Mary just continued to laugh, Charlotte stopped in frustration.

"This is Sidney, Tom's younger brother," said Mary, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes."He looked pretty angry, but I assure you, I don't know anyone with a bigger heart, even if he sometimes hides it well.He is so good man and does so much for us. I just wish he would come home more often.”

Charlotte said nothing.She had heard a lot about him since living with the Parkers, only positive things from Mary and Arthur, while Tom was rather scolding his brother. In any case, she had heard by the residents of the town that he was an arrogant, cynical womanizer, and when she thought about his good looks, that point made sense. 

All morning she tried to concentrate on her work, she loved working in the Café and was looking forward to an afternoon on the beach, but the strange feeling in her stomach just didn't go away.


	3. A mysterious personality

"Sidney, just stop scolding," groaned Tom annoyed and dropped into an armchair.Since his younger brother had arrived at Trafalger House, he had been raging about financial plans, corporate strategies and Tom's mismanagement, and Tom's head was buzzing.

"I'm not scolding, Tom, I'm not Mrs. Hankins, our nanny." Sidney sighed deeply, leaned against the mantelpiece, and shook his head."I'm just telling you that you can't go on like this, and not for the first time, and that I won't clean up all your crap again."

Tom grunted involuntarily and rolled his eyes.

"Sidney Parker, the great savior," he sneered sarcastically, which almost caused Sidney to boil over.

"Do you pay your loan through the Café or not? I also remember a concept for a new project where you name me as an investor without even speaking to me about it, so you shouldn't be so arrogant,” Sidney said snappily, he was getting really out of patience.

Despite his words, Tom's face brightened and he got up to hand Sidney a business concept.

"You will like it, brother, it is an incredible idea. You know Denham Place, the old walls with the lake? The owner, Esther Denham and I would like to convert it into a museum about Sanditon with a large library, a conference center and a public park. All guests will stay in our hotel and use the wellness resort, they will eat in the restaurant and try out the bathing machines. It will be great, just great."

As always, Tom lost himself in enthusiasm, while Sidney only looked at the cost section.The sum was enormous, and he had no desire to look at the rest.

“Next Saturday is a first viewing event in the building, I have invited several potential investors and some have already agreed to take part in the event and it was just because of your name in the concep. You definitely have to come, I've even called Ruth and wrote it on your calendar.”

Tom grinned, obviously pleased with himself, while Sidney was stunned.

"You wrote my name in the concept to attract other investors with me and don't even think of telling me beforehand?I have also told you several times that you shouldn't make appointments with Ruth.”

Ruth was his assistant, she was a little older and always made sure that he got enough coffee and something to eat.

She was a human soul and hopelessly inferior to Tom.

"Have you already picked up a woman for Saturday night? If so, just bring her with you. Sex on the beach is something that you might like ... ".

"Please Tom, stop it. You're really disgusting.” Tom never stopped speculating about his private life and he was really fed up with it..

"Don't you have a date for the weekend?I am sure there will be a lot of beautiful women at the event, you’ll only have to choose one, it’s always like that, right?”

Now Sidney stared at his older brother with dark eyes so that Tom kept his mouth shut.

"I said stop it."

Tom snorted theatrically, got up to go to his brother, but Sidney turned and reached for his coat.

"I have to go now," growled Sidney, and went to the door."I will not promise to come over the weekend, and certainly not to invest in anything. I think you have enough to do with the resort and enough investment gaps to start something new. But you don't listen to me anyway, so I can save myself talking."

"Sidney, wait ...," Tom called, and he hesitated at the front door.

"You have to come, please," Tom pleaded, but could see that his brother was looking at him unimpressed.So he tried differently."Are you going to at least look at the concept?"

Sidney nodded reluctantly, about to push the door handle when he remembered Georgiana.So he changed his way, without saying a word, past Tom and up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. 

—- ~ —- 

It was early afternoon when Charlotte left the Café.

The morning had been busy because the Café was always busy and she walked relaxed down the street to get to her apartment.

"Charlotte, wait ...".

Smiling, she turned and saw Georgiana running towards her.

They quickly became friends; Charlotte was only a few years older than the lively girl with dark, shimmering skin and frizzy black hair.

"Hey, Georgiana, I wasn't expecting you outside," grinned Charlotte, delighted with the glow on her friend's face.

She hadn't had an easy time, losing her mother early and shortly afterwards her father before being brought here to England by her guardian to go to a classy boarding school.She didn't like to talk about it, so Charlotte had never asked much.

She was born in Antigua, was the heir to a wealthy plantation owner and was outrageously rich, even though the money brought her nothing.

She always seemed a bit lonely, had cried terribly when she had to go back to boarding school after the Christmas holidays, as did all the Parkers present.But now she was beaming and Charlotte wondered what triggered it.

"Oh, I was forced, but at least it is getting a little warm here," Georgiana winked, still not used to the weather in England after three years.

When Charlotte looked at her questioningly who had forced her to leave the house, Georgiana laughed cheerfully.

"Do you know who was here today?" She asked excitedly and grabbed Charlotte's arm.“After more than half a year, my terrible guardian actually made it here. He invited me to lunch, but the condition was to go for a walk with him beforehand.”

"You haven't seen him in so long?" Charlotte asked surprised.A guardian should probably take care of his ward a little more than maybe twice a year.

Georgiana grimaced a little, but she shrugged in resignation.

"Yes, Sidney hates Sanditon, so he comes here as little as possible, but he always sends packages to me, he's on WhatsApp, even if he keeps muting me, and now and then I also reach him on the phone." 

Charlotte's heart immediately missed a few beats.Again this man ...

"Sidney ...?" She asked carefully."Like Sidney Parker, he's your guardian?"

Georgiana laughed and looked at her as if she didn't have all the cups in the closet.

"Of course, what did you think?Why else should I be with the Parkers?"

Yes, that made sense, but she never would have expected it.

"I don't know, they took me in too ...," she murmured softly, wondering if she could push Georgiana a little to find out more about the mysterious man who had spent the night sleeping on a desk, but found that Georgiana willingly talked about him on her own.

"I miss him, you know?He is ..., he is quite complicated, but he is something like my big brother."

Charlotte curiously directed her friend to the beach to ask her out unobtrusively.

"How did he become your guardian?" 

“He came to Antigua about 10 years ago.It was an aid project, they built houses and brought food packages and all that kind of stuff, but he fell in love with the coffee plantations," she laughed, a distant look in her eyes.She was probably thinking of her home.“He kept coming back, sometimes he stayed for a few weeks, sometimes just days, sometimes we didn't see him for months. Dad said he was having a hard time. The day Mum died, Sidney was at our house, he kept Dad from drinking himself to death and stayed with us for a while.He worked in our company and soon became obsessed with coffee. I think he has bought five plantations in the past few years, founded the NaturalBeans Labal with Dad and a few others who wanted to improve the conditions for the locals and the workers, and opened a new, fair coffee market. I think he and my father were very good friends, and when Dad died, he locked himself in Daddy's study for two days.Then he brought me here to England, but he wanted to protect me from London and the people there, so I live with Mary and Tom on vacation.He also said it wouldn't be right if I lived alone with him.” Georgiana wrinkled her nose and then winked."Despite his frivolous standard of living, as Tom calls it, Sidney is a damned philistine."

Charlotte said nothing, but her thoughts whirled.

The man was really a mystery.

As unfriendly and quick-tempered as he had been this morning, she'd thought he was an asshole, an arrogant, rich london guy.

What Georgiana had said painted a different picture of him, but the whole man Sidney Parker seemed unapproachable and mysterious. 

On their way they met Arthur and the children, Charlotte was immediately seized by the girls and for the rest of the day she was busy dressing Barbies off and on.

When she was about to go home, she met Tom.

"Oh, Charlotte. Nice to see you. Are you all right?"

"Yes thanks, everything is fine. I played with the kids,” she replied gently, following Tom as he went into the living room."Are you okay too?Have you already received promises for the event on Saturday?"

So far, Tom had been looking through the post absently, but now he looked up.

"Yes I have.It was a brilliant idea to write my coveted brother's name in the concept.” He laughed at himself and sat down at his desk."So his scandalous lifestyle can finally be used for something, but the womanizer was of course angry."

Tom hadn't noticed Mary standing in the door and winced slightly as she hissed.

"I told you not to call Sidney that. Besides, don't talk about your brother like that." Mary looked at her husband angrily, which made Tom raise his eyebrows in amusement.

"I know, Mary, you don't like to hear it, but since he came back to London three years ago, he has had one woman after the other.I really don't know how he does it, after all, he doesn't look that good."

"You shouldn't listen to what is being said, Tom.He is your brother, he has never brought a woman here and you have never honestly asked him about it."

"I don't have to. I know him. He is and remains a womenicer and I will describe him as such, whether you like it or not." 

Charlotte had listened silently without moving.She had heard stories like this before, and Tom would know his brother best.She knew everything about her siblings, so she assumed the same for the Parker siblings.

Her head was buzzing with wild thoughts, she said goodbye quietly and went to her apartment. 

She lived in a two-room apartment in one of the city's older houses near the beach, and while drinking a cup of tea in her comfortable armchair, she allowed herself to think about the day.

Before she fell asleep that night, the smell that had hung in the Café this morning came back in her mind, and although she didn't want to, she smiled slightly.


	4. Back to Sanditon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments.   
> I hope you enjoy this story 😊

"Tom, please, I have to work, can you stop bombarding me with messages?"

Annoyed, Sidney had called his brother after 10 messages appear on his phone. It was late Friday afternoon and Sidney was really exhausted.

"I just want to make sure you don't miss the investor event tomorrow night, so I reminded you of it, and since you never bother to answer me, I wasn't sure if you got it," Tom sounded a littleinsulted, as always, when he felt he couldn't get what he wanted.

"I've already told you, I don't want to play the decoy for you," Sidney replied, irritably.

He really didn't feel like going to Sanditon again this weekend.His last experience there still hadn't vanished from his thoughts, though almost a whole week had passed.

"Please Sidney, is it too much to sacrifice a little of your time to your family?"

Tom begged, knowing exactly which buttons to push.

Sidney sighed and looked up when his office door opened.

"Hey, come on, we have to go," said Georg Babington as he threw himself into an armchair."I promised your brother I will take you to Sanditon today, haven't you read your messages?"

With raised eyebrows, Babington looked at his friend and business partner, who looked quite frustrated.

"You talked to Babington, seriously Tom?" Sidney said to his desk and only now did Babington realize that he was on the phone.

"Yes I did, he's a lot friendlier than you," replied Tom, said goodbye and hung up confidently.

With a deep sigh, Sidney sank into his chair and closed his eyes.

"He drives me crazy.Honestly ...,” he murmured as he heard his friend laugh.

"Come on, he's your brother.Also, the idea he has with Esther is not bad, so pull yourself together and get up.”

Sidney just opened one eye to look at Babington and frowned thoughtfully.

"Can it be that you only want to go to Sanditon because _Esther_ is there and that you are only interested in the project because it is _Esthers_?"

Esther Denham was Babington's Archillis heel.

Shortly after Christmas, Sidney and he had been at a gala together, and he had seen her from afar.Sidney had introduced her to him, for which he would be eternally grateful, and although Esther was cold and cynical in the beginning, they had kept in touch.

They had met again and again since then, and since Esther, like Babington, who was actually a lord, came from the aristocratic circles, Babington had been fascinated by her Denham Place project from the start.

Now he just smiled in response, got up, and stepped closer to the desk.

"I'm hopelessly addicted to her and she knows it," he grinned, making Sidney laugh."Go on, we'll be going in an hour, Crowe will drive, but only if you buy him a drink tonight."

Defeated, Sidney cleaned up his desk, took his belongings and bag, and locked his office.

He still didn't feel like it and above all it bothered him that the thought had shot into his head that he might be able to see the girl again.

Since she had been employed during his time abroad, Arthur had prepared the necessary documents and arranged for her monthly payment. And although he had access to all the documents and it would have been easy for him to find out her name, he had refused.But that didn't mean he hadn't been thinking about her all week. 

"Since when has Crowe been able to drive anywhere at this time of the day?Is he ill?"

Babington laughed when he and Sidney left the building and answered his friend with a grin.

"He bought a new car, a Tesla, and he said he wouldn't crawl back in the back of your old tin cart again."

"My old tin cart?" Giggling Sidney raised his eyebrows.Crowe had gone to boarding school and later to collage with him and Babington, he was outrageously rich - old London money - but he was a fun and friendly guy. Even ifmostly a little too deep in a bottle.

Sidney went home to pack some things, was picked up shortly after by a proud Crowe in an classy car, and was on his way back to Sanditon against his will.With a sigh, he had given in to Babers' urge to have a drink with them this evening in the only decent bar in town - the _Griffiths_ , but he wasn't looking forward to it. 

Now he was more and more afraid to see the girl again and to find out who she was, because if she only had a name, it would be even worse to get her out of his brain than it already was.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?"

Babington watched him curiously in the rear-view mirror and had noticed that the face of Sidney, who had voluntarily sat back, grew darker the closer they got to Sanditon.

“I just don't like the town. Neither do I like the Sanditon residents - well, at least most of the residents."

"Now come on...," Babington started, but was interrupted by Crowe, who now looked briefly in the rearview mirror.

"You are completely tense. I told you to meet a woman again from time to time.” His tone was slightly reproachful, like that of a teacher who insulted his students."When was the last time you went out.And I mean, when was the last time you didn't go to your home to sleep in your own bed." 

Sidney writhed, he hated talking like that.

"It's none of your business ...," he muttered, but Crowe clicked his tongue.

"If you are as tense as a tendon just before tearing it is very important to me. I'm just worried about you like a good friend should be."

Sidney snorted, but still didn't answer.

"So when was the last time?" The ambiguity of the question was obvious and Babington giggled. 

"I don't know ..., a few months ago?" Sidney grimaced and looked out the window.He really didn't want to talk about it any more, just as he didn't want to spend his evenings with giggling and flirting women who didn't really know him at all and to whom he didn't want to tell anything about himself.

"A few months?" Crowe called in horror."No wonder you're so tense. You really don't live up to your reputation. It's a shame."

Babington's laughter grew louder as Sidney’s expression darkened.

"I'm absolutely fine, and I don't give a damn about my reputation." 

He was silent for the rest of the trip, lost in thoughts, and stared at the sea, which strangely soothed him. 

—- ~ —- 

Esther randomly took clothes out of Charlotte's closet and stuffed them back.

"Oh boy, what are you going to wear tomorrow?" She asked in her typical annoyed manner, but Charlotte had known her long enough not to be offended.

"I have a nice dress in a box under my bed, it will have to do it," she smiled, getting up from her chair to prevent Esther from turning her entire wardrobe upside down.

"And what are you going to wear now?" Esther peeked at the wide but comfortable sweater that Charlotte was wearing. "You can't go to the bar like this, not even James will find it attractive, so change your clothes."

"Oh please, you know James is just a friend," said Charlotte, though she blushed a little."Maybe it would be just right to go like this then, maybe he wouldn't always stare at me the way he did."

James was a nice guy, she liked him and he had been a good friend when she was new here, but there was nothing left of her side.It looked different on his part, though Charlotte hadn't noticed for a long time.It made her uncomfortable because she didn't want to lose him as a friend, but knew that at some point she would have to decline his constant date invitations. 

"I'm not taking you that way, so change your clothes. Clara will meet us right there and you know how grumpy she will be if we are late.”

"Where's Edward?She just wants to hang out with you when Edward isn't around.”

Esther sighed and shrugged.

“Apparently he's on business.I honestly don't know and I don't care.And now change your clothes, otherwise I have to go alone and I definitely can't take it."

Reluctantly, Charlotte went to change clothes, opted for tight black jeans and a nice, dark blue blouse that did not show cleavage by accident.She combed her hair and tucked it back on the sides, but otherwise refrained from using makeup that was too strong.

It was just an evening in the bar, nothing more.

She regretted her decision as soon as she entered the bar, but really didn't want to admit it.

At the very edge of the counter was none other than Sidney Parker.He looked as if he had just come from a photo shoot, wearing tight, dark jeans, a classy gray shirt and a vest.The only loosening of his strict dress code seemed to be that he had rolled up his sleeves, showing his bare forearms.

God, they were in a bar here. Couldn't he just wear a t-shirt?

Charlotte shook her head in confusion as she followed Esther.

Why did she care what this man was wearing?She couldn't care less.

"Babington, I didn't think I would meet you here tonight ” smiled Esther as she walked over to a table in the corner. "I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."

The man she had addressed immediately got up to kiss her cheek and Charlotte saw the slight flush on her friend's cheeks.

"Esther, how nice to see you," he said sincerely, reaching for Esther's hand.

"Who is this adorable being that you have with you, Miss Denham," laughed a funny-looking man with wild curly hair who was sitting on the corner chair.He seemed to have drunk quite a bit, but looked at Charlotte kindly.

"Hey, I'm Charlotte," she introduced herself and laughed when both men bowed.

"Hey, I'm Babington, that's Crowe, nice to meet you," Babington said, laughing sincerely and glancing at his friend at the table.

"Yes, nice to meet you.This town really doesn't have much to offer, but at least there are beautiful women here.”

Babington sighed, apologized, and bowed his head as Charlotte and Esther laughed out loud.

Charlotte nodded to both men and then looked at Esther."I'll see where Clara and Georgiana are and try to get us a table."

Still laughing, she turned and crashed into something hard.

"Uhmpf ...," Sidney groaned, took a step back and looked down at himself.Beer dripped over his waistcoat and pants, a hard elbow had hit him directly in the ribs, and the heel that landed on his foot was not particularly pointed, but still painful.

"Sorry ... I didn't want to ...," Charlotte stuttered, trying to brush the beer off his clothes, but stopped when she looked up and met Sidney's angry eyes.

"Oh ...," was all she said as she pulled her hands back. 

"Do you enjoy hurting me?" Sidney growled, put the three glasses he was carrying on the table and searched for a handkerchief in his pocket.

He had seen her when she came in, but he had stubbornly ignored the flutter in his chest.It made him rather angry that he reacted to her at all and had turned away in annoyance.But when he went to their table, of course, he saw her standing there.

Sidney had intended to walk past her to avoid standing next to her, but hadn't expected her to turn around at that very moment.

She hit him hard, but he didn't really care. It was the brief electric shock that shot through him when her little warm body hit his, which frustrated him so much. In addition, the smell of her perfume and her hair confused him, so he immediately fell into a defensive posture and hissed at her. 

"Sorry, it was unintentional," she replied abashed, but Sidney couldn't stop.

"Oh yeah, of course. The last time you stabbed me in the ribs with a stick, now it's your elbow. I stink like a street dog, my feet are wet and your heel has pierced my toe,” he scolded, drying himself and watching her with his angry, intense eyes."But of course, you didn't mean it badly. You scream before having someone answer your questions and you turn around without looking behind you."

Sidney knew he was unfair, but something about her made him lose control completely."I am warned for future meetings and hope I can get out of your way." 

Before Charlotte could answer anything, James stepped behind Sidney and roughly grabbed his upper arm.

"I think it's enough, Parker, she didn't see you. No need to be so rude, although you probably can't do anything other than behave like an ass, right?”

Sindey snorted, grimaced, and pressed his tongue against his lower lip.Slowly he turned, found himself opposite James Stringer, and jerked his own arm out of his grip.

"Noble James, always ready to defend the innocent princess," he scoffed, raised his hands in mock surrender and stepped back.

"Just let it go, Parker," growled James, then looked at Charlotte and took a step towards her."Everything ok?" He asked softly and Charlotte blushed.

The whole thing was terribly embarrassing.

Not only did Sidney pour nearly three whole glasses of beer over himself because of her, but James also came to her defense.

She could speak for herself and had to admit that Sidney was right, even if he didn't have to be so rude. 

She nodded, muttered an apology again, and escaped to a table in the other corner where she had found Clara and Georgiana.

James followed her after another angry look and Sidney dropped into a chair.

"God, Sidney Parker, everyone always says I'm rude, but I'm completely harmless compared to you, said Esther in surprise, looking at him as much as his two friends.

He sighed - if only he had stayed in London.

"Hey Esther, please forgive me."

Babington watched him curiously, but Sidney simply ignored him, reached out for one of the half-empty glasses, and took a long sip.

"I'll go over there, but I'll see you later," Esther said to Babington, grinning at him and then walking through the bar to the table with her friends. 

"What was that, please?"

Babington also sat down and grinned amused. Laughing, he nudged Sidney, who was staring absently at his hands. Usually Sidney didn't lose control so quickly, but something about this girl seemed to worry him.

Sidney didn't rule, he just snorted, but his friends didn't give up.So he told them about last week - how she woke him up so roughly and that she really got on his nerves.

Crowe smiled, but got a warning look from Babington.

This was going to be an interesting night.


	5. A bad night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this one ...

Charlotte just couldn't stop looking at the table in the corner.

When she bumped into him, his smell had hit her again, and it had a strange effect on her. Along with his hard, really tall and very warm body, which was pressed against hers for a short time, it gave her goose bumps everywhere and her inside seemed to tremble.

At the same time, she was angry because he was so rude.

After all, she hadn't run into him on purpose, it was a stupid accident. 

"Don't worry about him, he's always been an ass."

James sounded angry, had followed her eyes and now put his hand on her arm. He had come to their table, sat next to Charlotte, and even if she really liked him, she was disturbed by his obvious touch.

But she wanted to be kind, so she said nothing.

"Oh, it's okay. I'll survive,” she said, laughed, and then turned to the television hanging over the counter.

"No cricket tonight?" Charlotte tried to change the subject and distract herself from the man in the other corner.

James took up the topic enthusiastically, they talked about the last game for a while until one of James' friends called him over.

He apologized reluctantly, got up and Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief.

"It seemed like my guardian hadn't been very kind to you," said Georgiana when James finally let Charlotte come to her girls night.

"Not really," Charlotte said annoyed, looking back into the corner.

Sidney still seemed angry, sitting with his friends, but saying little himself, turning the glass thoughtfully in his hands.

"You seem to have hit a nerve in him," replied Georgiana, grinning furtively."Even if he's really strict and we don't always get along well, he's actually not a bad person, you know. He's been through a lot ..."

Charlotte frowned, but didn't want to appear too curious.

Mary had only vaguely talked about a bad experience in her brother-in-law's past, and Georgiana hadn't given any details either.She didn't want to ask, so she asked Georgiana about her friends in college and ignored the table in the corner.

Clara was more of an outsider in the group, she was with Esther's brother and not really connected to the three, but occasionally clung to her almost-sister-in-law. 

After about an hour, Charlotte noticed that James was staring at her, and since Esther had gone back to Babington and the chair next to her was free, she feared he would come over.

Georgiana and Clara talked about college, they seemed to get on well, so Charlotte got up quickly and went to the bar.

She saw too late that Sidney was there too, but he had already seen her, so she couldn't just turn around again.

He leaned his elbows casually on the counter, hung his head and looked at her with narrowed eyes.

Charlotte slowly walked closer, just ignoring how handsome he was and stood on tiptoe when she reached the bar.

She turned to the bartender, who was also the owner, and smiled friendly.

"Hey Peete, would you bring me a glass of Merlot?"

Peete nodded, turned to get a wine glass, and Charlotte hesitated before turning slightly to the side.

He was still standing there, looking at her steadily, and now bit his lip.

"I'm sorry, I was pretty rude," he started softly, his deep voice tingling in Charlotte's stomach and she took a deep breath."May I at least pay for your drink as compensation?"

His eyes were really confusing, Charlotte shrugged and slid onto the empty bar stool behind her.

"Why not," she smiled, saw the corner of his lips lift slightly and leaned a little closer to him."I am Charlotte and it really wasn't my intention." 

_Charlotte_ \- thought Sidney.

He nodded, reached into his pocket to pay for her Merlot and his beer, this time a bottle, and rose to his full size.

"Yes, I know," he murmured, handing her the glass, then leaned against the counter to look at her closer."I'm Sidney, but I'm sure you already know that."

She laughed, raised her wine glass and took a sip.

"Yes, Mary mentioned when she laughed at me for waking you with the stick," she looked slightly ashamed and Sidney laughed softly to himself.

"I belive it ... .Do you often work in the Café?"

She narrowed her eyes, an enchanting frown between her eyebrows.

He looked really cute when he laughed ...

"No, only on weekends, but I love the Café," she said to distract herself from her thoughts and was startled when an arm suddenly went over her shoulder. 

"Hey, the match is about to start," James said, standing closer to her than normal and Charlotte wondered what was wrong with him today."Are you coming over with me? You still have to place your bet."

It was common for them to bet who would win, but always for a drink, never for money.

Charlotte looked up at the television, the Cricket match would start in 10 minutes.

"Yeah, I'll be right there, I'm just going to Georgiana for a moment, maybe she wants to give a tip."

With a slightly embarrassed look at Sidney, Charlotte slid off her chair - and with it also out of James' arm, turned and went to Georgiana, who was still laughing with Clara and clearly having fun.

She would have liked to continue talking to Sidney, but she could hardly admit that. 

"Leave her alone," James said in a clear, warning tone to Sidney, who just looked at him blankly."Seriously, she's a nice, cute girl, so leave her alone and go back to London."

Sidney didn't answer, took his beer and went back to the table where Crowe was talking to Arthur, whom he hadn't seen come in and Babington was flirting with Esther. 

"Arthur." Sidney patted his little brother on the back. "Nice to see you, I didn't notice when you got in."

Arthur grinned, gave his brother a quick hug, and then sat next to him.

They had a very good relationship, made frequent calls, even though Arthur was a little disappointed that Sidney rarely came to his hometown.

"It's been a long time, you could come more often," he said, laughing as Sidney rolled his eyes.

"Yes.Did the guy from the publisher call you?I gave him your number and he promised me,” said Sidney to change the subject.

Arthur and their sister Diana had written a book about healing treatments together, but they couldn't find a publisher.So Sidney had asked for a few favors to help his siblings.

"Yes, yes he did, thank you for your help. He was thrilled and will meet with us next week, Diana actually wanted to tell you.” Arthur was almost as enthusiastic as Tom, but not quite as unrealistic.

He was an incredible man and Sidney always enjoyed talking to him. 

They laughed and talked about all sorts of things, Crowe talked about his clubs and Arthur suggested that he could open one here in Sanditon.

A wild discussion immediately broke out, which also involved Babington and Esther, and Sidney leaned back.

His eyes unconsciously searched for Charlotte, she was sitting next to Georgiana, but now at the table of the group around James Stringer, watching the Cricket match.She cheered, clapped enthusiastically, laughed or screamed in frustration, and frowned in this delightful way.

Sidney was so intrigued that he didn't notice Arthur and Babington looking at him in amusement.

What he did notice was Stringer's hostile looks, but he simply ignored him. Unfortunately, he hadn't expected James to insult him, so he was surprised when the somewhat younger man suddenly called over to him during the break in the game. 

"Parker, what about you, you should also place your bet. That's exactly your thing, isn't it?"

Half the bar turned, James laughed while Sidney's face remained blank."Oh no, you're not drunk enough yet, right? Peete, bring the man a whiskey, preferably the whole bottle, as he is used to." James waved in the direction of the bartender, who did not react to him. "But even then the stakes here are far too small, right?You'd rather play for money, a lot of money, right?I just hope you don't lose again."

Sidney gritted his teeth so tightly that a muscle in his jaw twitched.He had known it would come on some point.

His past haunted him whenever he was here in Sanditon.

"James, take care of your own stuff and stop talking," Arthur said angrily, but Sidney just shook his head and motioned for him to be quiet. 

James' friend Fred also stepped forward to distract James, they talked about the match and James focused again on Charlotte.

What was that?she wondered quietly, apologizing to go to the bathroom.Usually James was always nice and friendly, what was wrong with him tonight?

His comment on Sidney confused her, as did his reaction. She would have expected him to explode, as he had done to her, but he had remained perfectly calm.

What did James mean?

Mary and Tom talked a lot about him, mostly good things, but they had never talked about Sindey being a gambler or drinking too much. 

When Charlotte went back to the bar, she stopped briefly in the corner.James was nowhere to be seen, Georgiana was obviously flirting with Fred Robinson, a really nice man with a small construction business, she really didn't want to disturb them.

Her eyes fell back on the table in the corner, Arthur talked wildly to his brother, who turned his empty beer bottle in his hands, tense and with a petrified expression.

The thought occurred to her that she still had to reciprocate for the drink.She kindly ordered a beer and a glass of wine for herself, paid, and walked slowly to the table in the corner.

She would only thank him, she told herself, nothing more.

"Arthur, don't do it, it doesn't matter.I will be leaving on Sunday and who knows when I will come back next time.” Sidney's voice was more than tense, but he wanted to calm his brother down.Arthur wanted to jump up to tell James Stringer to go, but Sidney stopped him.

He needed everything not to jump up himself and hit the man, but it wouldn't help.

"Is that why you come here so rarely? Because people keep talking about it?"

Sidney didn't answer, just kept staring at his empty bottle and wondering if he should just go to the hotel.

Just as he was about to stand up, a slender arm slid over his shoulder and placed a full bottle of beer on the table in front of him.

Before he turned around, he knew who it was, because an unforgettable smell hit him. 

Charlotte smiled when he looked at her over his shoulder and blushed a little. "I just wanted to reciprocate, after all I'm to blame for spilling your first beer." She winked, leaned against the back of his chair, and Sindey had to laugh.

"Thanks, but it wasn't necessary," he said, but took the bottle anyway.

"You spilled your beer?" Arthur looked curiously and Charlotte started telling how she came across Sidney.

"And you survived it?" Teased Arthur and laughed."Tom once tipped a full cup of coffee over his shoulder at a family breakfast, and Mary had to step in because Sidney almost knocked him down."

Everyone laughed, Sidney rolled his eyes, but Charlotte could see the corner of his mouth twitching.

"The coffee was terribly hot, I'd love to see how you would find it," he growled, but the happy grin on Arthur's face made him smile. 

"Well, he was pretty rude to me too, but ...," Charlotte started teasing, but couldn't finish her sentence.

"Yes, that's normal, isn't Parker?With all the arrogance you radiate, only your rudeness outweighs it.Even the beautiful Eliza understood that you are an animal, unfortunately only after she married you."

James was suddenly next to Charlotte, she could hear that his voice was slightly indistinct, he had been drinking too much, but his words cut sharply."How many months was it before she divorced you again?Four? Or was it five?"

With his words, it seemed that every muscle in Sidney's body was tightening, even on his face and his eyes were dark with anger.

"You're divorced?" The words slipped out of Charlotte's mouth before she could stop them.She immediately regretted it because the glowing eyes were now on her.

"Yes, I'm divorced. Who cares?” Sidney snapped, her surprise bothering him, even if he couldn't say why.

"Sorry, I ...," Charlotte didn't know what to say.She hadn't wanted to offend him and felt bad, even more so when James leaned slightly against her and laughed.

"Oh, quite a few people cares, I think. The gossip press, for example. I should still have all the articles at home, I can give them to you to read if you want, Charlotte.” James grinned to challenge and raised his eyebrows to Sidney to get a reaction from him.

But he said nothing, took a deep breath and clenched his hands into fists.

"What's your problem, please?" Asked Crowe, who slurred a little, but now sat up in his chair.

James smiled and raised his hands, but his voice was ironic."No problem at all, but one can still tell the truth, can't they?"

Sidney snorted, his face contorted.

"The truth ...," he murmured quietly, James leaned forward provocatively and raised a hand to his ear.

"Oh, you don't want to hear it?It hurts, doesn't it, when you realize what an asshole you are." 

"I think it's enough now, can't we all just have a nice evening in a bar?" Babington had come over from the counter when he saw how angry his friend was suddenly.Charlotte stood confused behind Sidney's chair, the situation visibly uncomfortable, while the man whom the others called James seemed to be out of control.

"The match is going on, let's just go over there," Charlotte said now, trying to reach for James's arm, but dropped her hand again at Sidney's contemptuous look.

"I'm going to spend one, is there anything decent to drink here?" Crowe turned to the bar, but James wasn't ready to give up.

"Yes, have a decent drink, Parker, as usual."

"And you know me so well to know that, Stringer?" Sidney spoke between gritted teeth.

"Everyone knows, Parker," replied James with an evil smile on his face."Just like everyone knows that your hot wife cheated on you with half a dozen men. Apparently it is not enough just to look good.”

"James stop, what are you doing?" Charlotte said at the same moment as Sidney got up slowly.She felt his glowing eyes on her, full of contempt, and winced slightly.

"Yes, James, listen to your sweet friend and just shut up," he growled, threateningly building up to his full size.

He was about the same size as James, and although James wasn't exactly slim, Sidney was a lot more muscular.

Charlotte could see Sidney's hand clench into a fist and quickly stepped between the two.She stood in front of James, her face to Sidney and searched for his eyes, but he avoided her.

"Stop it," she cried insistently, she didn't want anything bad to happen. 

Sidney's heart was racing, how much he hated being here. And now she was standing in front of this asshole that insulted him all the time. 

He stubbornly ignored the sting that gave him the fact.

Smiling coldly, he took a step back."Don't worry, I'm not going to knock your lover's teeth out," he growled in a dark voice. "I will go."

With that he stepped around her, the look he gave her froze her inside and left the bar with long strides.

"You're a wanker, James," muttered Arthur, following his brother.

James laughed, went back to the table his friends were at, and seemed happy with himself. 

Babington and Crowe followed Arthur, but Sidney was nowhere to be seen.

"Shall we look for him?" Arthur asked uncertainly, knowing his brother was in more than a bad mood now, but unsure how to deal with him at such a stage.

"I think it's better to leave him alone. He'll probably get drunk somewhere, but he'll be fine," Babington was worried, but knew his friend well enough to know that the best thing to do now was leave him alone.

Tomorrow morning he would check on him, probably in the Café or on the beach.He wouldn't be able to help him now, so he directed the very drunken Crowe towards the hotel and said goodbye to Arthur, who was now speaking to a concerned Georgiana.

That was not how he had imagined the night and he felt a slight sense of guilt at having persuaded Sidney to come to Sanditon with him.


	6. Confusing feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love your reactions, I'm always very nervous before posting

Charlotte sighed when she and Mary entered the Café on Saturday morning and found Sidney Parker's sleeping figure again.

This time he slept with his head on the counter, an empty bottle of whiskey was on the floor and the half-empty glass was still in his hand.

Mary stopped, frowning, before slowly walking towards him and gently waking him.

He growled, straightened up and looked at her in confusion.

"Sindey," whispered Mary worriedly, her expression sad. "Why don't you sleep in a bed? You were drinking ... please Sidney, tell me that you are fine." 

Slightly ashamed and very uncomfortable, Sidney hid his face in his hands to avoid Mary's gaze.

"I'm fine, Mary, please forgive me," he said softly, his voice rough and hoarse from sleep."It is this town that drives me crazy."

Mary nodded in concern, went around the counter, and switched on the coffee machine.

"You should have a coffee, you look like you haven't slept much."

"Yeah," muttered Sidney, pushed his glass from the night before away and run a hand over his face.

It was only when Charlotte bent down for the empty bottle that he seemed to notice her and his posture changed immediately.He tensed, his face hardened and dismissive as he sat up uneasily on the chair. 

Charlotte had stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching Mary wake the tall man like a little child.

The smell that hung in the Café was overwhelming, all the more the closer she got to him and since she was nervous, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Did you smoke in here?" It came out more reproachful and dismissive than she wanted, and she immediately regretted it.Why did she keep saying things she didn't want to say?

Slowly he turned on his chair and looked at her with the same cold look as last night when she stood between him and James.

"What?" He growled harshly, the noise sent a shiver down her back, so Charlotte jumped into attack mode.

"It smells of cigars here, it's the same smell that usually surrounds you, only stronger, so I assume that you smoked in here, which is really shitty, since this is a Café and not a london-dandy-bar." 

Sidney blinked, completely surprised and thrown off the rail for a moment, then his anger returned.

He snorted and narrowed his eyes.

"No, I smoked outside, if it's allowed, the smell just hangs on me," he said sharply, but quietly, which made it more intense."As soon as I leave, the annoying smell will disappear, but forgive me for being here at all.It's not like it's my damned Café, my damned house - no, even here I have to justify what I'm doing."

Charlotte backed away slightly as he rose and towered over her.

He was really tall compared to her.

"Sidney calm down ...," came Mary's soft voice."She definitely didn't mean it badly."

"Of course not ...," he grumbled sarcastically, turned away from her and walked to the old coffee machine on slightly uncertain legs.

It took him two tries to take the container for the ground beans out of the holder and Charlotte angrily stepped to his side to push him away.

"Leave that and go away, you'll only break it ...," she said irritably, but stopped when an ice-cold, condescending look hit her.

"Thank you, but I can make my coffee on my own. I found the machine and restored it, I don't need your help.” 

Charlotte looked uncertainly at Mary, who beckoned to her.

“He knows what he's doing, this Café and the furnishings are his sanctuary.You shouldn't attack him like that, even if I know you don't mean it badly.” Soothing, Mary stroked Charlotte's arm, not wanting to criticize her young friend, but wanting to defend her brother-in-law.

After a few moments, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room, and Charlotte watched with surprise as Sidney prepared a cup not only for himself, but also for Mary and her.

He put it on the counter without comment, took his cup and went to a small table with a comfortable armchair directly at the window, into which which he let himself sink with a sigh and closed his eyes.

At that moment the door opened and a concerned Arthur came in.

"Mary, did you ...?" Arhur broke off when he noticed the unmistakable cigar smoke and looked around searching.Relieved, he saw his brother in the armchair, coffee in hand.

"Thank god.I just didn't find him anywhere tonight, I was afraid that he went swimming and drowned himself."

Mary raised her eyebrows, took a sip of her coffee, and looked at Sidney in the corner.Charlotte said nothing, took the cup Sidney had obviously made for her and added a little sugar to her coffee.

"He had a hard night?" Mary asked quietly so Sidney wouldn't hear her.

Arthur paused for a moment, watched Sidney slowly drink his coffee, and then sighed.

"He had a hard life ...," he muttered sadly, sharing a look with Mary. 

Charlotte's heart skipped a beat, she wanted to ask what Arthur meant by that, but didn't dare.She thought about yesterday evening in the bar, the bad feeling in her stomach returned and she felt strangely guilty. She had left the bar immediately after the incident and had had a bad sleep because the whole thing could not get out of her head.

Slowly she took a sip of her coffee and grimaced in surprise.Mary noticed and laughed softly, which made Charlotte even more confused.

"Why does the coffee taste different today than yesterday? Have you tried new beans?” It was milder, finer, and she took another sip with enthusiasm.

"No, everything is as usual.Sidney says it's because of how you put the ground beans in the brew container and how you operate the machine, he's shown it several times, but no one can do it like he can.”

She looked again in amazement at the man in the corner, who had leaned his head back and was staring blankly at the sea.

"Like I said, the Café is his sanctuary. If he didn't hate this town so much - and the town him, he would make the best coffee in England." 

Slowly the Café filled up, the usual breakfast guests came in and it got too loud for Sidney. He got up, put his cup in the dishwasher in the back kitchen, and said goodbye to Mary. Arthur gave him a happy hug, persuaded Sidney to go to Trafalger House to check on Diana and Tom, and he reluctantly agreed. Without looking at Charlotte, he left the Café.

What was left was his distinctive smell.

—- ~ —-

"I made the stew for which you gave me the recipe for this lunchtime," said Mary when she and Charlotte left the Café shortly after noon.

"Don't you want to come with me?Tonight is the big event for your project, you have to have some real food, because there will only be fashionable snacks there."

The offer was tempting, and since Charlotte assumed that Sidney, whom she really didn't want to meet again, was sleeping in the hotel, she accepted it.

They reached the imposing house in the old part of the town at the same time as Tom and three grumpy children.

"Charlotte," Jenny called enthusiastically, while Henry looked like he'd been crying half the morning."He's sad because Dad made us sit in this big, scary house all day and not play outside."

Mary looked annoyed at her husband, who was completely unimpressed.

"Tom, you should do something with your children this morning, not work." Mary took little James out of her husband's arms, sounded really disappointed and pushed Henry through the door in front of him, who was still wailing.

The boy ran into the house, probably to let off steam in the nursery, but then they all heard his jubilant cry of joy.

"Uncle Sidney ...".

Jenny and Alicia also ran, Mary and Tom talked heatedly and Charlotte stood fascinated in the door to the living room.She felt like an intruder while watching the scene in front of her.

Sidney had apparently slept in one of the comfortable armchairs in front of the fireplace, his hair was all messed up, he was lying more than he was sitting and Henry had thrown himself directly on top of him.He was now lying on his stomach, his head hovering just above that of his uncle, while his little fingers stroked the now thicker beard.

"I missed you so much, you haven't been here in a long time," the boy scolded and got a hiccup with excitement."You missed Christmas and Easter, even though you didn't have to attend the awfully long and boring church, but you weren't swimming with me at all."

Sidney looked very guilty, his arms wrapped around his nephew and he grimaced. "Sorry, little one, I've worked a lot.But we can go to the beach tomorrow if your parents don't mind.”

Pleased with the prospect, Henry kissed his uncle on the cheek and buried his face on the back of his neck.

Alicia, patiently standing by the armchair, now stepped closer and grabbed Sidney's arm.

"May I go to the beach with you, too?" She asked quietly and shyly.

"Of course, princess.Give me a kiss, I missed you,” Sidney pushed Henry's body a little more to his left side and then helped Alicia to climb onto his broad upper body as well.

"Have you already read the book I sent you?" Sidney asked softly after she also kissed him and made herself comfortable on him.

"Yes, it's really great. There are more books like that, but Dad says he doesn't just buy five more children's books.”

There was a frown on Sidney's face before stroking the little girl's head.

"Write down the names of the other books you want and I'll get them on Monday morning, before I go to work, and send them to you."

Alicia smiled brightly and nodded happily.

Sidney looked around and saw Jenny on the sofa.She was the oldest, understood more and did not easily forgive her uncle's long absence. 

"What about you, Jenny, can't I get a kiss from you?" Sidney knew that she was disappointed, looked at her with a small smile that grew larger as she slowly got up.

"You haven't been here for far too long," pouted the girl, stopping.Sidney grimaced, then looked up at the ceiling and sighed softly.

"I know and I'm sorry," he said sincerely, looking back at Jenny."How can I make it up to you?"

Now Jenny was beaming, coming closer and reaching into her hair.

"You have to braid my hair, like last year on Halloween."

Sidney groaned and closed his eyes as his arm fell defeated to the floor.

"Oh no, it took hours," he whined tormentedly, but Charlotte could see that it was just being played.

"Please, Uncle Sindey, please," Jenny pleaded, coming closer so Sidney could pull her towards him with his arm.

"But only if I get a kiss for it," he laughed with an unknown glow in his eyes and moaned theatrically as Jenny pressed a kiss on his forehead.

The four made themselves comfortable in the armchair, Sidney asked about school and the children enthusiastically told what had happened in the past six months.

Charlotte winced when she suddenly heard Mary behind her.

"They love him unlimited, just as he loves them.He has a better grasp of them than their own father, and it's unfortunate to say that.”

Reluctantly, Charlotte turned briefly, she could hardly take her eyes off the picture in front of her.

"Is he really braiding her hair?"

Mary laughed and looked lovingly at her children and their uncle.

"Yes, he does, and that really well."

Charlotte looked surprised and Mary winked.“Last year Jenny really wanted to go out as Rapunzel on Halloween, like in this Disney film.She also has very long blonde hair and she said that she wanted the same hairstyle as in the film.Tom said that would not work, nobody could do such a hairstyle and Jenny started to cry.Sidney could hardly watch it and promised her he would do it.He bought a complete hairdressing case, searched for instructions on the Internet and spent the whole afternoon braiding her and Alicia's hair.They both looked beautiful and worshiped him for it.”

Charlotte could hardly believe what she heard, she had never expected anything like that from this man and she needed everything to follow Mary into the kitchen to prepare lunch. 

Sidney almost fell asleep again, the soothing warmth of the children and their low voices that told him all kinds of things relaxed him and he slowly drifted off.

The voice that woke him up from this dreamy state was Charlotte's, and for a moment he completely forgot how angry she made him and enjoyed the sweet sound.

"Hey you sweethearts. The food is ready and is on the table,” she said softly and quietly and laughed as the children slowly climbed from the warm, safe body of their uncle to run to the dining room.

Stunned, Sidney opened his eyes to look straight into hers. 

She looked at him openly, stood right next to the armchair, and Sidney remembered what he probably looked like.

Slightly ashamed and still a bit hungover, he groaned, straightened and rubbed his hands over his face before trying to get his hair in order at least a little bit.

"I'm sorry," he murmured hoarsely, getting up and walking a few steps away from her."I will be there immediately, I will only go to the bathroom for a moment."

Charlotte was still looking at him, she thought he was cute - with tangled hair, a crumpled shirt and still slightly cloudy eyes from tiredness.When he looked back with raised eyebrows, she blushed slightly and nodded hastily.

Sidney walked slowly down the hall, Mary had insisted a few years ago that he kept some clothes in one of the guest rooms, and he was going to freshen up and change. 

Tom scolded when Sidney came to the dining table ten minutes later.

"We are waiting, _Sir_.Besides, you drank, I can still see it, if you had slept properly in a bed tonight, we shouldn't have to wait for your presence to eat.”

Sidney's eyes narrowed, he paused behind the vacant chair between Henry and Jenny, and fixed Tom with a hard look.

"You will keep it above me all my life, am I right?" His voice was bitter and the brothers stared at each other for a moment."I can go back to London if my presence bothers you, Tom.I'm here for your project, not because I want it."

Tom groaned and waved his hand. "God, don't always be so attacked, sit down and let's eat."

Mary gave her husband a warning look before smiling at Sidney.

"We missed you, Sidney, didn't we kids?" 

Sidney hesitated only a moment, leaned over little James in his cradle to give him a kiss on his soft hair before sitting down and paying attention only to the children. Charlotte remained silent, confused by the tense mood between the brothers, but also because her mouth had become dry.

Sidney had changed, wearing tight gray pants and a casual but very elegant black sweater.

Seeing him in something other than a shirt and vest made her heart race as it emphasized his broad shoulders even more. 

The man looked really damn good and it took her some time for her blood to stop pounding in her ears. 

After lunch, Jenny dragged a huge suitcase into the dining room, and Sidney moaned and sighed again.

"Are you going to make my hair too?" Alicia asked quietly, she was a somewhat shy child, but looked up at her uncle with wide eyes.

Sidney gave her a loving smile before leaning down to her.

"Of course, princess, if you want to."

"Yes, please," she replied softly, looking up at him in adoration before turning her gaze to her father."Are you going to watch us, Dad?The last time you saw the finished hairstyle only in photos because you had to make an appointment.”

Tom, who was already somewhere else in his thoughts, only smiled briefly at his daughter.

"No, honey, dad has to work. Not everyone can rest on their earned money like your uncle.”

It was another swipe to his brother, but Alicia didn't understand.

"How should one rest on money? That would be terribly uncomfortable, wouldn't it?” She looked at Tom with innocent eyes, but he just laughed and went to his study.

Charlotte could see Sidney was upset, staring at his brother before turning to the confused girl.

"Daddy is talking nonsense, you shouldn't listen to him that much," he winked, accomplishing exactly what he wanted.The children laughed, forgot that their father had no time for them and threw themselves on the hairdressing case. 

Charlotte watched Sidney in disbelief as he gently combed Jenny's hair, divided it into sections, and then began to braid.She found it fascinating that a man would do something like this and wondered how his hands would feel in the girl's hair.

It really took hours to get both hairstyles done, Mary brought her patches to the dining room while Charlotte was grinding with Henry, reading stories to him or playing with James.

It was an incredibly beautiful afternoon, and when Charlotte had to go to get ready for the evening event, Alicia and Jenny looked beautiful with artfully braided Rapunzel hairstyles.


	7. Investor event

Denham Place was a beautiful, ancient building with a lake just outside the entrance. The idea of making a museum out of it wasn't too bad, tourists would be thrilled by the picturesque backdrop.

Crowe and Sidney arrived a little late in a taxi because Crowe was afraid that someone could damage his Tesla.

Babington had been with Esther all day to help her prepare, but Sidney didn't want to get there early.

He hated such events, knew that Tom would make a huge theater out of it, and hoped to hide in the crowd.

He had read in the file that James Stringer had been hired as an architect and planner, and Sidney had to admit that the building looked good, at least from the outside and on the front.

Several spotlights cast a warm light on the facade of the impressive house, the gravel path was framed with torches and the entrance portal was wide open.The hall of the old building had a beautiful wooden floor that had been sanded and sealed, the murals on the walls were slightly faded, but still beautiful and chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling.The atmosphere was really impressive, there were quite a few London business people here and Sidney was attacked by some well-known people right at the entrance.

"Parker, I was really surprised to see your name on the program, but I have to admit the building is charming."

Lionel Simmons was an investment banker that Sidney couldn't stand, but he did his best to promote his brother and make contacts for him. He talked to countless people for over an hour, campaigned for Sanditon, and kept mentioning the names of Tom and Esther.

"A beer, please," he said politely when he finally reached the bar.

He needed a drink, but couldn't even take a sip before Tom called for him.

"Sidney."

As always, Tom shouted loudly and without decency until he got what he wanted.

Sidney walked slowly to the group, noticed his brother Arthur, Crowe, Babington and Esther and to his absolute displeasure James Stringer.

Charlotte stood next to the architect, in a simple but beautiful gray dress that went to her knees, had half-length lace sleeves and a wide skirt, and made her look really adorable.

Sidney swallowed, averted his eyes from her, and forced himself to concentrate on something else.But it was difficult, her brown curls, which she had loosely pinned up, shimmered in the chandelier light as her doe eyes sparkled.

What was wrong with him, he wondered angrily and turned his attention to Tom.

"Sidney, isn't it incredible here?" His brother raved exaggeratedly as always. "You have to give my card to everyone you know, so many have come."

"I haven't done anything else in the last hour, Tom," Sidney replied annoyed and finally took a sip of his beer.

"Oh Sidney, can you maybe bring up the archive as well?" Esther stood next to Charlotte, glanced at her friend and then fixed on Sidney.

"Yes, the archive, the concept contained only a small paragraph about it. What exactly is meant by that?"

"It was Charlotte's idea, I included it, but it's only a small part of the whole project." Tom pointed to Charlotte while Esther looked frustrated, but then someone called Tom and he said goodbye.

Sidney raised his eyebrows, but looked at Esther instead of Charlotte. 

"Charlotte studied literature and works for a large publisher in London," explained Esther, but then stopped because Charlotte was standing next to her and could speak for herself.

"Literature?" Asked Crowe, as always, slightly indistinctly, although he really held back today for Babington's sake."Didn't you study that too, Sid?"

" _Sidney_ , or do you want me to call you Francis," Sidney said with a hard undertone in his voice and got a roll of eyes and a theatrical moan from Crowe before he spoke again."And yes, but only in the minor."

"You don't like being called _Sid_ , Sid?" Stinger teased, but when Charlotte gave him a warning and angry look, he raised his hands apologetically and stayed silent. 

Sidney ignored him completely and now looked at Charlotte.

"What is your idea?"

She blushed slightly because she really didn't like being the center of attention.

“I do background research for our authors. That's how I first came to Sanditon since we are currently publishing a book that takes place in a coastal town in the 18th century. The library in town and at Sanditon House is impressive, I found so much information about local history and I thought it would be great to build some kind of state archive using old church records, birth and marriage records, and all the important literary or philosophical exhibits . There is a nice room on the top floor, the walls are filled with old bookshelves up to the ceiling and it would be an impressive library if there were more books in it.” 

The idea was good, but historical and antique books cost a lot of money.

Nevertheless, Sidney was intrigued, he loved books, liked all philosophical works and had an impressive collection himself.But if he campaigned for this idea, it would mean that he would have to spend more time with her - with Charlotte, and he was both: completely against it and yet for it.

“It's a nice idea, but not exactly cheap. But I know a person or two who might be able to support you with this project, so I'll stretch out my feelers.”

Charlotte smiled in relief, Tom hadn't been enthusiastic at all and the archive had only been included because Esther had insisted.

"Thank you, that would be really helpful," she said, annoyed that James snorted contemptuously next to her.

"Do you have a list of the books that already exist here?"

Charlotte nodded and stepped around Esther to stand next to Sidney and not have to speak so loud.

"Yes, if you give me your email address, I can send it to you. I also saw some great books in the city library that I listed and there are also some great books in Trafalger House that would be interesting, although Tom didn't want to hear about that and said he wouldn't lend them."

While she was talking, she took her phone out of her purse and tapped on it before handing it to him.

She had created a new contact, which was simply named ' _Parker, Sidney_ ' and Sidney typed in his email address.

"Send me everything you have if you want, I would like to help you with that," Sidney said quietly as he handed her phone back. "We could also make a call in the newspaper. Our family, for example, has several family chronicles and old diaries, they are very interesting to read. Perhaps the residents here would also borrow their cronics. It would be an interesting thing."

Charlotte's face lit up with his idea, she was absolutely thrilled with it.

"Oh, that would be great. I wanted to do something like this for my family before, I mean a chronicle, but I gave up."

Sidney smiled at her enthusiasm and looked at her with his eyebrows raised. Charlotte continued with a low giggle and red cheeks.

"I have seven siblings myself, my mom has 4 brothers and my dad has nine siblings. It was impossible to find such a large paper for all the names."

"Wow, that's a lot of people," he grinned. "Where exactly do you come from?"

Charlotte was surprised at how pleasant it was to talk to him. "I'm from Willingden, I don't think you know that, but it's wonderfully quiet there. I tried to live in London for a while after the collage, but the area I was in was awful."

Sidney shrugged. "You just have to find the right places, then it's not that bad."

"You studied literature?" She asked curiously and laughed when Sidney grimaced and nodded hesitantly. He looked a little ashamed.

"Yes, I've always loved books ...". 

Before he could continue, he heard Babington take a hissing breath and Crowe swore softly. He wondered what was going on when he heard a voice behind him that made an icy chill run down his back.

"Sidney, darling, I've been looking for you." Eliza's voice was loud and bright, as always, and Sindey winced.Every muscle in him immediately tensed, he gritted his teeth until his jaw ached and it took a moment for him to turn to her.

"Tom is still as exuberant as before, Sid, really, he will scare off potential investorsrather than recruit.But well, most of them are just here because of your name in the concept, just like me, darling." 

Almost ten years had passed since they had spoken. Of course he'd seen her in tabloids every now and then, after all she was a millionaire wife, but he hadn't faced her since she left the court after the divorce decree.

The fact that she acted as if nothing had happened, bothered him - that she called him darling, made him angry and he tried to ignore the Sid completely.

She was still beautiful, she always was, Sidney had often thought about what it would be like to see her again, but rather soon after their divorce. In recent years, it had lost importance in his life.She was the reason he was the man he became, the reason he hated his hometown and London society, but nothing more.

Still, he couldn't deny that it shocked him to see her. Not because he was still dreaming of getting her back, or because his knees would go weak like when he was 20 and she smiled at him, but because he felt a deep aversion to her.

It wasn't necessarily anger or the feeling of betrayal that he associated with her for a long time. He just didn't want her to be in his life. 

"Eliza," he greeted her rather stiffly, his face tense and expressionless, which made her laugh.

"Oh please, darling, don't be so stiff." Her laugh sounded fake, but at least she was decent enough to greet the other people in the group.

"Lord Babington, how nice to see you," she said, holding out her hand."Mr. Crowe, I didn't expect to find you upright at this hour of the day.”

Crowe laughed at the open insult, even back then he hadn't understood why Sidney had married her in the first place. At Sidney’s and her wedding, she had flirted with him late at night, he put it down to too muchalcohol and led her back to his friend, but she loathed him ever since.

Babington intervened, introduced her to Esther, who was warmly greeted by Eliza, after all she was also a member of the nobility and owner of this house. However, Charlotte only got a slight nod while she looked at James with a beaming smile.

"James, not to believe. Nice to see you again. I didn't forget you, you know."

James smiled.He had always found this woman beautiful, and that she had so mercilessly humiliated his greatest rival in childhood and adolescence made him admire her. 

He was only two years younger than Sidney, but had always been in his shadow. Sidney had always been handsome, even as a child and youngster, and although he wasn't particularly friendly or funny in his youth, all the girls had run after him. And of course Sidney had been smart, his parents' home enabled him to study well, while James had to worry about a scholarship. To be honest, he had always been a little jealous, which had gotten a lot worse when one day Sidney came to Sanditon with beautiful Eliza.

Shortly after the two married, James had watched them fight. Sidney had stormed away while Eliza had been crying and raging terribly. James had comforted her, holding her in his arms had made his heart beat faster, and he was furious that Sidney had gotten such a woman. After the first rumors surfaced that the marriage was falling apart, James had triumphed and since then hadn't missed an opportunity to offend Sidney.

"It's nice to see you again, Eliza," he said kindly, but noticed that her smile was not quite real. 

"What do you want here?" Sidney asked almost rude, but he couldn't stand her voice, which was too loud.

"Well, darling. Tom sent me a personal invitation on your behalf, I'm here to look at the project, maybe I'll invest."

Sidney's blood boiled over, he couldn't control himself, but he didn't care.

"I would prefer you to stop calling me _darling_ , I think it's more than inappropriate. Likewise, your money is not needed here and I am sure you know that you would never receive an invitation on my behalf."

The dismissive, cold tone of his voice only upset Eliza for a moment, then she laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Sid, gosh, you're acting like a kid. I hardly think your brother would be happy with how you talk to me."

Sidney was about to say that she shouldn't call him Sid either, since he had always hated that stupid nickname when Tom's voice appeared behind him.

"Ah, Mrs. Campion - lovely Eliza, so you found my brother. Isn't it nice Sidney, I was hoping she would respond to our invitation.”

The contempt Sidney felt for his brother at that moment surprised even him, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"I can't believe you are doing this, Tom," he growled softly as Babington engaged Eliza in a conversation about the building.

But Charlotte could hear him, she was still standing next to him and he felt her eyes on him.

"If you pull her in here, I'll be out - for devinitive and forever."

Without looking at anyone, Sidney turned and searched for a way out. He had to leave before saying more or doing anything he would regret.

He could hardly believe that Tom had used him like this, bad enough that he even wrote his name into the concept, no, he had also sent it to Eliza, the woman who almost destroyed him.

He wanted to go back home, but that would be unfair to Esther and Babington, but at least he needed to get some fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the devil is back ... :))


	8. A sad story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this one, your comments mean a lot to me.

Charlotte felt more than bad after Sidney left the room.

How could Tom, his own brother, do something like that to him?

"I'm an architect and I have a small planning office in town," James said after Eliza asked him about it.

"And you ..., you are?" Asked Eliza pointedly and looked at Charlotte with piercing eyes.

When she had approached the group, Eliza had noticed how close this trample girl was standing next to Sidney and the familiar jealousy sting had hit her.

She might have left Sidney ten years ago because life had given her an incredible chance, but that didn't mean that she didn't want him to still be hers. Sidney was handsome, he had actually gotten rich and he had a mysterious reputation. This was all attractive and she was here to mark her territory.

"Oh, I ... I'm Charlotte Heywood." Charlotte hated how insecure she sounded, but this woman's freezing eyes made her nervous. "I am responsible for building the Archiev."

Eliza looked at her for a moment, but she had never been interested in books, so she nodded slightly and turned to Tom.

He took it upon himself enthusiastically to show her around and the whole group breathed a sigh of relief when they left.

"God, her tongue has gotten sharper over the years," Crowe murmured and Babington nodded.

"And her eyes colder, I can't believe Tom invited her."

The two friends shared a concerned look as James walked over to Charlotte.

“I would have loved to have been there when this ice princess crushed the big Sindey Parker ten years ago.He behaved so arrogant and boastful that she only left him a few months after their wedding because he couldn't be tolerated. There are pictures who show her with other men in clear situations, and that when she was still married to Parker. Can you belive that? I don't think there is anyone who deserves anything like that except the asshole Parker.”

Charlotte got angry, glared at James and couldn't even say exactly why.

"Can you stop being so damn happy about that? Nobody deserves anything like that, it's just cruel, and making fun of it is really under your dignity James.”

Frustrated, she turned and walked to the back exit through which Sidney had disappeared earlier.She felt she needed to find him and make sure he was fine.

She didn't know why, but neither did she want to think too much about it.

He was standing on the edge of the lake when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

It wasn't Eliza because she could hardly walk across the grass with her high heels, so he just stayed motionless. Whoever it was, he hoped it wouldn't be Charlotte, but he got a disappointment.

"Are you ... are you al right?" She asked quietly, the concern in her voice was clearly audible.

Why did she care if he was fine?

Angry, he wanted to turn to her and ask her to just leave him alone when he heard her get closer.Her hand suddenly lay warm and gentle on his upper arm, the smell of her pleasant perfume hit his nose and at this moment all anger vanished in him.

„Sidney ...?, she whispered softly and her voice hit something deep inside him.

He wanted her to know the truth, the whole truth, not the nonsense that James or anyone else had surely told her about. Not the pathetic story of arrogant Sidney Parker, who behaved like a wannabe and was therefore cheated and abandoned by his wife - the story that haunted him since years whenever he came to Sanditon.

It seemed important for some reason that she knew the real story. 

So he just kept staring at the lake and began quietly - for the first time in his life - telling someone about his past.

"We were married 10 years ago."

Charlotte didn't dare move and watched his scowl as he spoke in a low voice.

“I got to know her in my first year on the collage and was fascinated from the start. She was beautiful, cute, and seemed to know exactly what she wanted.It was the classic relationship, we finished our studies together, moved into a chic London apartment and on our first night there I made her a marriage proposal.We were really happy at the time - at least I thought so."

He smiled sadly and was silent for a moment as Charlotte considered pulling her hand back. But she decided against it.

“A month before our wedding, she joined her father's company.Suddenly she had a lavish salary, a lot of money and success, just because of her name, and even though she had always been spoiled, it changed her.”

Sidney sounded bitter. Suddenly nothing had been good enough. When he proudly showed her the house with the Café, she laughed and asked him what he was going to do with the ruin.She suddenly moved in circles that Sidney didn't fit and didn't want to fit at all, but she simply ignored his idea of their life together.

“She urged me to accept her father's offer for a managerial position in his bank that would have earned me an incredible salary. But I refused. Babington and I had the idea of founding the aid organization during the collage, we both already did help in other organizations during the semester break and we wanted to try it on our own. Eliza was absolutely against it, she threatened to cancel the wedding and I idiot begged her not to."

Sidney laughed cynically when he remembered how he had begged for her favor.He hadn't wanted to see what had happened to the once so cute girl.He started boxing to impress her, telling himself that she was only worried about him and their life together, and ignored her flirting with other men. 

Charlotte said nothing, watched him as he stared at the water and noticed his muscles tighten under his shirt.Her fingers tingled, her palm burned on his upper arm, but she couldn't pull back.

“The wedding was in May, an awfully elaborate, kitschy London high society wedding that cost me half a fortune. Tom and my father loved the opportunities it offered, the people they met, it was really disgusting.When we were married, Eliza tried to lure me into her father's company again and was supported by my father. I asked her to give me a chance and promised that if the first project went wrong I would give in. Her condition for this was a trip, a luxury trip. 4 weeks through the Caribbean, from one fine beach to the next. I idiot said yes, booked for July and organized all the shit." 

He paused briefly, the expression on his face became sad and his voice darker than normal.

"And then my mom got sick in June."

Sidney's body shivered, he usually tried not to think about her that often because it always caused a hellish pain inside.

"I came here to take care of her. We spent weeks sitting in the semi-finished Café discussing what it should look like. She loved coffee as much as I did, I took her to pick up the facilities I had bought, and even though she was so bad, she didn't want to miss any of it. It was a nice and terrible time, both at the same moment, but Eliza was raging. She insisted on the trip, and when I said I would not go, she became hysterical.She made the trip with one of her high-society friends, a favorite of her father, and a million-dollar heir. Martin Campion."

When he said nothing, Charlotte cleared her throat quietly.

"What illness did your mum have?" She spoke softly, but Sidney winced as if he had forgotten that she was there. His brow furrowed, but he didn't look at her.

"She had always had trouble breathing, her lungs were damaged, in winter she had a severe pneumonia that wouldn't go away properly and ..., well, father didn't stop smoking his cigarettes, even in the house, what didn't really do her any good. She asked me to smoke for her the cigars that her grandfather had always smoked.She liked the smell, and even if I didn't think it was good, I did her the favor.”

He swallowed before speaking in a half-choked voice.

"She died of pulmonary embolism on July 19th." 

He had loved his mother, worshiped her and had always been her darling. His father hadn't spent much time with him, their relationship had been difficult since he had been far too serious and quick-tempered as a child. So he'd often been beaten by his father, even though he wasn't a bad man. Ferdinand Parker had had a warm, loving relationship with Sidney’s siblings, but not with him.

It was different with his mother, with her he could be himself and she loved him unconditionally.She had been his home, and when she died, he felt completely alone.

"It made me ...," Sidney had to clear his throat before he could speak quietly.Charlotte's fingers tightened around his arm and he was oddly grateful for it."I didn't get along well with her death.I loved my mum very much and when she died I felt lost. I asked Eliza to come home, but she said no. The first photos of her and Campion appeared a few days after my mom was buried. Very clear pictures on a yacht. The press loved it, the headline was ‚ _Finally a real man for the most beautiful It-girl Eliza. What does her husband say about it?‘"_

He smiled slightly when he heard Charlotte angrily murmur a few swear words and looked briefly at her from the side. He was surprised to see a tear on her cheek, but he didn't dare to wipe it away.To distract himself, he continued to speak.

"When she came back to London, she apologized and promised that Campion would be over and that something like that would not happen again. It was ridiculous. Three weeks later there were new photos in the press, I was already in a pretty bad shape anyway and when I hit the guy who fucked her I was arrested for the first time.” The bitterness in his voice was back and Charlotte needed everything to not move closer to him.

She couldn't imagine how a human could do something like that to another. It was incomprehensible and more than humiliating.

“Four months after our wedding, everything was over. Eliza told me she wasn't ready to waste the best time of her life with a depressed weakling who puts all his money into a stupid organization. The same evening I was arrested again and when I went back to the apartment the next morning it was empty. The facility, everything that had been part of our relationship, was gone.Not that I wanted any of it, but I bought the furniture.Her family did everything to portray me as an asshole, my own father and Tom scolded me for letting myself go and that it was my own fault that she left me. The divorce was a mud fight, she made the best of it and the press loved it. In November she married Campion, moved to New York with him, and when he inherited, she had exactly what she wanted - money, fame, and social power.”

No one said anything for a while, Charlotte started to freeze because she had stupidly come outside without her coat and although it was July the nights were fresh. Sidney noticed how she shivered and turned to face her for the first time since she had followed him outside. Her arms were covered with goose bumps and without thinking about it, he took off his suit jacket and put it over her shoulders.

"Oh, you don't have to ...". Charlotte started to protest, but when his body heat in the jacket wrapped her, she stopped.The jacket smelled incredible, it was his unmistakable scent and it made her head slightly dizzy.

He said nothing, gave her a rare, real smile as she silently shoved her arms into the sleeves and then sighed softly.He had to end the story now that he had started. 

“I sold the apartment, moved to our London house and started down the steep path.I drank - in order to achieve senselessness, gambled and lost a lot of money, I boxed in illegal clubs or I just hit someone on the street, then the first drugs came, just to forget. It was a bad time. The eighth time I was arrested for a fight, Tom dragged me to Sanditon. He locked me up in a room above the Café until I was sober and clean, wanted me to stay here, but the gossip of the people here was as bad as it was in London. I had to go back then, otherwise I would have gone insane.So I went to exactly the countries that Babington and I supported and stayed away for almost seven years. I only came back to Englang three years ago and have been living in London since, but every time I come here everyone starts talking about me again.”

He sounded resigned, and Charlotte shuddered to think of the last evening when James had mocked him so roughly.

"Tom never forgave me. Not only did I spoil our good family name with my divorce and what followed, but he also thinks that I deliberately took away the good opportunities that a family connection to the Campions would have brought. Every time I am here, every time I make a mistake, a comment comes like today. To remind me that I failed."

"I ... I'm sorry. That you had to go through that."

Her voice was sincere, she really seemed shaken and when he looked at her, their eyes met. Neither of them could turn away, the moonlight made her skin look velvety and Sidney could no longer deny the feeling in him - the attraction to her.

How he would have loved to raise his hand to push the soft curls over her shoulder and touch her, but he held back.

"Sorry, I didn't want to hold you with my miserable story.You certainly don't want to hear all of this ... ".

Sidney felt bare and raw, but Charlotte put her hand on his arm again, this time his forearm.

"Yes, I want to hear it ...," she murmured softly, but stopped when Sidney’s eyes darkened. 

Charlotte didn't know what to do.His eyes were so intense, his rough, dark voice almost drove her crazy, but his reputation, the stories of his conquests unsettled her.

He looked beautiful, in the soft light of the moon, in his black shirt and dark vest, his face carved in stone.Such a man would never care about a women like her.

Or would he?

She could hardly breathe when she noticed that he was slowly coming a step closer. Slowly she raised her face to his to look him in the eye, his closeness was overwhelming, but just as he took another small step with his eyes fixed on her lips, they heard Esther's loud voice calling for her.

"Charlotte?Is that you out there?"

Esther Denham stumbled across the lawn and Charlotte took a big step away from Sidney.

"Damn, I'm already looking for you everywhere. Babington has met a friend who is a book freak and he really wants to introduce you to him.”

Charlotte nodded as Esther approached, but her friend looked at her curiously. Then Charlotte remembered that she was wearing Sidney's jacket, she blushed and quickly took off the garment.

"I'm coming, Esther, sorry, we just got some fresh air." Embarrassed, she handed the jacket back to Sidney, who looked at her blankly, mumbled a thank you, and then took Esther's arm to go back to the big old building.

Sindey was left confused.

This town was just not good for him, he did not want to be here, nor did he want these confusing feelings that flooded him and he decided to go home as soon as possible. He would avoid Sanditon and, above all, a very specific person here in the future.

God, he had just told her things he had never spoken about.Why was he so stupid?

All the rest of the evening she saw him only from a distance.

Charlotte didn't know if that made her disappointed or relieved, which made her angry with herself.Why was it important at all?

With a sigh, she focused on speaking to potential investors to advance this project and support her friend Esther. 

Sidney Parker was the last person to play a role in her mind, but she knew it wasn't true.She persuaded herself that he only stayed in her thoughts because what he had just told her was so personal and intimate.

But still she couldn't stop thinking about whether he would have kissed her if Esther hadn't interrupted them.

Would she have let him do it - and how would it have felt?

But why should he want to kiss her, he could have any woman without twitching his finger, so the thought was ridiculous and she finally forced herself to stop thinking about that handsome man with the dark past.

It was completely unsuccessful. He just didn't go away.


	9. Avoiding

Charlotte had slept badly and woke up at dawn. 

In her favorite spot by the window, wrapped in a warm blanket, she drank a cup of tea and watched the light begin to grow outside.

She could see the beach and the sea and was surprised to see a dark shape running along the waterline.The runner came towards the town, so he must have started running in the dark.

When he got closer and she could see him better, she suddenly knew it was Sidney.She could tell from his movements, stature, and broad shoulders. He was running pretty fast, which must be tough in the sand.

He had avoided them all last night, had spoken to several potential investors and businessmen, but he was gone every time someone in their group approached him.

Charlotte had watched him speak to Tom, seemingly angry, then Eliza had come over.When his ex-wife reached for his arm, Charlotte had seen him flinch as if she'd hit him. He hastily had pulled his arm back, moved away from them, and disappeared into the crowd again.

Eliza had made a huge show about herself.Charlotte had heard her loud, shrill laughter several times before she left with her chic Jaguar after two hours.

When Charlotte went home, about two in the morning, Sidney was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if she would see him again today before he would return to London.

After all, she would only have to go to the beach if she wanted to see him, since he had already said that he would spend the day there with the children.

The only question was, did she want to see him?

If Charlotte was honest, she had no idea.She had little experience with men and much less experience with men like Sidney was.Besides, she didn't want to bother with anything like that, she had enough important things to take care of at the moment and was completely happy with it.

She got up from her windowsill and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

The only reason she was still thinking about this man was because she felt sorry for him. His story yesterday was really sad and she decided to ask Mary if he was fine today.It was a simple concern for her friend's brother-in-law.

Nothing else.

—- ~ —-

"Sidney, you left too early yesterday, I spent half the evening looking for you, you missed so many important conversations."

Tom's voice sounded reproachful as usual and Sidney rolled his eyes.The early run this morning had calmed him a little, but he was still angry with Tom and didn't want to see him at all.

"It was after midnight when I left and I had enough boring conversations."

Mary came out of the kitchen at the voice of her brother-in-law and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Sidney.The children are already in the garden and are waiting for you with packed bags, I fear they will take your word for it."

Sidney smiled. "That's exactly why I'm here."

"Can't you come to my study for a moment?There is so much to talk about, I've already got a couple of offers, including one from Eliza, and I'd like to go through them with you." Tom looked at him promptly, but

Sidney didn't move.He couldn't believe that Tom actually thought that he, Sidney, wanted anything to do with Eliza Campion.

"Are you serious?" He asked stunned, his face incredulous. "I told you yesterday that I don't want anything to do with her, so leave me alone with this."

"Oh Sidney, come on. She was recently divorced for the second time and got a lot of money.This could be your second chance and it would be good for our project." 

"Our second chance?" Sidney's anger increased, but he tried not to scream."She left me alone in the worst time of my life, she cheated on me and she dragged me through the dirt when we divorced. I almost killed myself afterwards with humiliation and shame in case you forgot. She and I will never again exist in any conceivable constellation, and it doesn't matter with how many connections or how much money you hoped for in this matter."

Tom groaned in annoyance, but the anger on his brother's face stopped him.

"Make a contract with her and take her offered money if you want to, but as I said yesterday, in this case you will have to forego my support and my numerous investments in your companys. We both know you would ruin yourself with that, so think carefully about what you are doing."

Without looking at anyone, Sidney stormed outside, but took a moment to calm down on the back patio before he picked up the kids and went to the beach with them, as promised.

"Don't tell me you invited Eliza Campion yesterday, Tom."

Mary was concerned, Sidney usually tried not to lose his temper on his rare visits, but the name Eliza made her own blood go cold.

Sidney was right, this woman had almost killed him, or rather - like he said - she was the trigger that he almost killed himself, and she couldn't understand why Tom would invite her here.

Tom angrily put his hands on his hips and looked at her defiantly.

"We need investors, she has a lot of money and I think she would do anything for Sidney. I talked to her and she still seems to worship him ... it would be good for Sanditon and good for our new project if he was just kind and nice to her."

"Tom ...," cried Mary, now angry herself, but her husband turned and closed the door to his office. 

With a sigh, Mary stayed in the dark hallway.

What else would Tom ask of his brother before it was finally enough?

—- ~ —-

Tired, exhausted and heated up by the sun, Sidney didn't bring the three Parker children to Trafalger House until 6:00 p.m. They had played, built sand castles and swum a lot, Sidney felt relaxed and satisfied and was ready to go back to London.

Crowe had joined them, but had returned to the hotel for a drink in the late afternoon. Babington hadn't shown up, no doubt he was with Esther, but Georgiana had also spent the whole day with him and it was really nice.

She had kissed him on the cheek when she said goodbye and whispered that it had been the best Sunday in a long time for her.

Sidney felt guilty because he knew he wasn't spending enough time with her, but he couldn't change it at the moment.

"Jenny, Henry, Alicia, off to the shower with you. You are full of sand and sunscreen ... ".

"Oh, do we really have to, Uncle Sidney?We've been in the water all day, we're going to get very shriveled if we have to take a shower now.” Henry looked up at Sidney and he needed everything to hide a laugh.

"You have to clean up, Henry.Your mom will be angry with me if you go to bed like this today and I'll get into trouble."

Sidney could see the kids thinking.Then Alicia looked at him trustingly.

"Do you have to clean yourself up, too?" She asked quietly, as always, and Sidney leaned down a little.

"Of course, honey, I'm going to take a shower too."

She was still looking at him with big eyes and reached into her hair with one hand.

"But we don't have to wash hair, do we? Jenny and I have been careful all day so that no sand gets into our beautiful hairstyle. We are allowed to leave our hair like that, right?"

Sidney looked at her lovingly.He really liked the three, or rather the four, not to forget baby James, they were the only ones who made him feel really loved.

"I think you can leave it that way," he said, and the two girls beamed."Listen, we make a deal, ok?"

All three nodded and Sidney cleared his throat.

"When you're done first, I'll read you a bedtime story. And when I'm done first, then ... ".

He didn't get any further as the three of them turned and ran up the stairs to wash themselves.

Grinning, he strolled upstairs too, didn't notice Mary watching him with a smile, and took an extremely slow shower.

As the warm water flowed over his shoulders, his thoughts wandered back to her. 

Shortly after noon he had seen Charlotte in quite a distance on the boardwalk.Her long, tanned legs, which shimmered in the sun, had made his heart race, and unobtrusively he had let his eyes wander over her shape.She was wearing short shorts and a tight top, drinking a coffee and Sidney would have sworn that she was looking in his direction.

But she hadn't come to the water or their place and, strangely, a strong feeling of disappointment had struck him. He had tried to ignore it, but failed miserably.

It annoyed him that he got weak last night and told her so much about himself.Now he felt raw and cheated because she was avoiding him since then, and once again he vowed to shut himself off.

The children were waiting for him cleanly and in pajamas when he came into the living room. Relieved that Tom was nowhere to be seen, he sat between them and read not one but three bedtime stories until Babington and Crowe rang the bell at Trafalger House to pick him up.

Jenny cried when he said goodbye, so he promised to come back as soon as possible.He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't bear to see her so sad. 

"Don't worry, I'll bring him back here in two weeks," laughed Babington, who was waiting at the door. 

"Oh really?" Sidney asked in surprise and raised his eyebrows. "I don't know anything about that yet."

"Yes, I would have told you. In two weeks we will form a kind of committee, where the further procedure for the project will be determined and since you are kindly the main investor, you will have to be there."

Babington grinned maliciously, just wanting to annoy Sidney a little.

"Main investor?" Sidney sounded irritated, what was that supposed to be now?

"Yes, your brother described you as such, but I will work out a financing concept, which we can then talk about in two weeks." 

Taking a deep breath, Sidney tried to hold back his temper, the only reason he didn't immediately withdraw from the project was Babington, who was so hopelessly in love with Esther Denham and therefore took over the patronage for Denham Place.

With a frustrated look at Mary, Sidney said goodbye, slipped into the back seat of the Tesla and closed his eyes with a sense of relief as Crowe drove out of the town at high speed.

"Tell me, this club that Tom runs in the old building in the middle of Sanditon - is it going well?"

Crowe looked at Sidney curiously and therefore did not miss the slight smile on his face.

They had stopped in a restaurant just before London for dinner.

"No, the premises is really great, but Tom has never been to a club himself, so he has no idea how it works and what people want."

Crowe nodded but said nothing, so Sidney asked carefully.

"How so? Would you be interested?"

Crowe owned several clubs, two of them in London, he was quite big in the scene and had a knack for what attracted people.

Sidney had seen him walking around the building today and was just waiting for a question like that.

Reluctantly, Crowe leaned back and took a sip of his drink.

"Maybe ...," he said, grinning, but no more.

"If you want to know anything about it, get in touch with me. I can send you all the documents you need."

Sidney nodded to him, saw Crowe's brief confusion about how Sidney could get such documents, but he didn't go into more detail.

Finally at home Sidney fell exhausted in his bed. It had been a busy weekend, his head was buzzing with too many thoughts, but mercifully he fell asleep quickly.

He dreamed of dark brown curls, big chocolate eyes and old books bound in leather.

Two weeks ..., for the first time the thought of going back to Sanditon so soon wasn't as bad as usual.


	10. A list of books

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, my youngest son had his 5th birthday today, that's why I'm so late ...  
> hope you like it anyway

The list of the existing books appeared in Sidney's inbox on Tuesday morning, and when he read the sender's name, his heart leapt unintentionally.

_Charlotte Heywood_

The text of the mail was short and sweet, but Sidney still had to take a deep breath.

_Hey_

_Here is the list of the books I found, I wrote where they are at the moment and I divided them into literature, historical records and factual reports.(An ancestor of Esther was an enthusiastic diary writer, it's really incredible to read all of her experiences.)_

_I would appreciate your help, Mary said you were obsessed with literary works ...._

_I also made a list of books that should contain an interesting library, maybe we can get a few things out of it._

_Thank you and see you soon,_

_Charlotte_

He looked at the lists, marked the books he already had, added what he thought were important, and made his abbreviation behind what he thought he could get.

Then he sent the revised lists back to her and tried to focus on his work again.

It would be difficult to get her out of his mind if he read her name every time he opened his mailbox.

Charlotte was sitting in the local library where she worked, staring at the lists in her hand.

Shortly after she came to Sanditon for her research, she saw the notice that a new librarian was being sought.

Although she was not trained for it, she was perfect for it because of her studies and her work at the "Robinson & Hartwich" publishing house.

She made a deal and got an office in the old building so that she could extend the library's opening hours while doing her research.Most of the time a laptop was enough for her, only now and then she made small trips to get a visual picture.

She was also responsible for correction work, which was sometimes monotonous, but was still fun.

Now she went through the printed lists and was surprised at Sidney's handwritten entries.

His handwriting was very expressive, elegant and stylish, which made her stomach tingle.

He had marked several books that he seemed to already have, which surprised her, added some that she hadn't thought of and one of those books that he had added and marked at the same time took her breath away.

All she could do was take her laptop and respond to his short email with a comment.

_CH:Do you actually have an original edition of ‚Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales‘?_

It only took a moment for him to respond, also with a comment. 

_SP:I do._

_SP:It was pure coincidence that I discovered it in an antique shop the cover was pretty broken and the owner didn't know much about it. Still, the price was incredibly high, but it's worth it._

_CH:That is incredible, really._

There was no answer, Charlotte wondered if he should write anything, but was unsure.So she kept working, a school class came, and Charlotte was busy for a while.

When she opened her laptop after lunch, she found that she had another message from Sidney.

She stubbornly ignored the trembling of her fingers when she opened the comment.

_SP:Did you measure the shelves so that we know how much space we have? Maybe we can look at the room together the next time I am there.We should also set up a room into whom the books can be viewed and read, since we are not going to lend them._

She smiled as she typed her answer. She told herself that it didn't matter when he would come next time, but her heart just didn't stop racing.

_CH:Yes, I've already thought about that, but Tom wasn't thrilled about another room for the Archive. When will you be here next time?I'm sure Esther doesn't mind if we look closely at the rooms._

_SP:Leave Tom to me. After all, he wants me to pay for it. I come Saturday in a week, but only because Babington forces me ..._

What should she answer?Then she remembered that a kind of meeting would take place that day for the project Esther had invited her to.

_CH:Oh, there is the 'assembly' - of course.Then we'll see each other at Denham Place anyway ..._

_SP:Yeah, until then ..._

Charlotte would have liked to continue talking to him, but she had no choice but to say goodbye.

_CH:see you then ..._

Slightly confused, she closed her email program and focused on her work for the rest of the day.

Only a week and a half until he would be back.

She didn't know why her heart was racing so much at the thought of it, but couldn't help it.

In London, Sidney stared at his screen for what felt like an eternity.

Why had he ended their conversation so quickly?

There were so many things he could have asked her, but suddenly he felt insecure.

He shouldn't let her get too close.He was sure it wasn't good for him. 

On Wednesday morning he opened his mailbox and immediately saw her name.

_CH:If we get another room, we could try to get old leather armchairs and secretaries somewhere. Similar to the upper study in Trafalger House.It is different decorated than the rest of the house, but it has a certain charm._

He raised his eyebrows in astonishment.It had been his mother's study, but she hadn't set it up.It had already been that way.Before Sidney set up the office in the Café, he had used it as his study, and he was probably still the only one to enter the room.Tom thought it was somber and far too simple, but Mary had told him nothing to change in it.

_SP: This is my favorite room in this pompous house. ; )I'm sure I can find something like that._

She didn't answer, and after the fifth time he found himself opening her original mail and reading the comment bar, he moved the mail to an extra folder.

He had to work, so he delved into the bookkeeping of one of their aid organizations and ignored everything else.

Only when he was done did he allow himself to look into the newly created folder called "Denham Place Archive".

_CH:Oh, that would be really great.Imagine you would sit in an old leather armchair and read Heraclitus ...._

_SP:Heraclitus?For this you need a fire in the fireplace and a glass of whiskey_

He smiled slightly, last night he did just that ...

_CH::)) then what do you need to read Ovid or Socrates?Or even better - Hamlet from Shakespeare?_

_SP:For Ovid and Socrates, a glass of whiskey is fine too, but for Hamlet you need a whole bottle!! It's best not to take him off the shelf. As much as Shakespeare is a London hero, it is hard reading and really exhausting._

_CH:I can't argue with that, although I've never had a glass of whiskey.Especially not when I'm reading. I am going home now and go to the cinema with Jenny and Alisia - Frozen_

Sidney laughed out loud and remembered that she had drunk wine in the pub.Merlot, if he remembered correctly.He could imagine her lying in a chair and reading with a glass of wine and a warm blanket, but quickly pushed the picture out of his thoughts.

_SP:The thing with the whiskey is a shame, it belongs to a good book. Tell the two all the best of me and have fun. Bye_

_CH:They will be happy to hear from you.Mary had to force them to open their hair and wash them yesterday, and they were both terribly offended to ruin your beautiful hairstyle. They looked really great! Have a nice evening, Bye_

With narrowed eyes, he stared at her last comment.

He had largely ignored her that afternoon, focused on making the girls happy.

It occurred to him now to dig his fingers in her curls, but he pushed that picture away as well.

He needed to calm down a bit, so he decided to go to his favorite fitness club and do some boxing.

He had to get her out of his head, as quickly as possible.


	11. Irritation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't make it yesterday ...  
> I hope you like this

He was too late.

The meeting at Denham Place had started a quarter of an hour ago, but Sidney hadn't yet arrived. Since Babington had brought him here, he had no car and therefore walked.

His desire for this gathering was limited anyway, but he had promised Babington, so ...

He hurried through the front door and the imposing entrance area. The others were surely already waiting in the former drawing room of the house, so he accelerated his steps to come down the hall when a door suddenly opened next to him.

He almost stumbled, crashed into a warm, soft body, and his arms instinctively reached for the woman he had just run into.

Before her smell hit him, he knew it was Charlotte. He couldn't tell how, he just knew.

"Oh ...".

Charlotte's heart immediately began to race, the warmth of his hands that had wrapped around her upper arms confused her, as well as the breathtaking smell of him.

"Sorry ...," Sidney murmured softly."I was not paying attention."

She was so close that he could see every single freckle on her face, her proximity flooded his brain and his body immediately responded to her.

"No ... I," she stuttered and blushed. "It's my fault, I haven't seen you."

Sidney still hadn't let go of her, and neither of them had taken a step back.His beard was shorter today than the last time she saw him, she would have loved to put her fingertips over it, but she was surprised to find that her fingers had grabbed into the fabric of his vest.

It seemed to be his favorite style of clothing, tight dark trousers, a colored shirt and a vest, but mostly without a suit jacket.

She felt the heat of his body under her hands.Why was he so hot?

Charlotte stepped back nervously, carefully stroking the fine fabric and clearing her throat.

"Are you all right?" Sidney asked, reluctantly releasing her arms. Her hands on his chest made him shiver, but he tried everything not to show her.

When Charlotte looked up she noticed that his eyes were darker than usual, his low, deep voice didn't help the feeling inside her and she could only nod.

Sidney smiled, the flush on her face running down her neck and disappearing under the collar of her light blue blouse, and he caught himself thinking that he would have loved to see where the color ended.

Taking a deep breath, he chased away these thoughts, raised his arm to indicate that she should go down the hall first, but couldn't resist touching her again.

At last Charlotte managed to smile at him too when he first let her walk down the hall, she turned to go back to the conference room, but a moment later she felt her legs swayed under her.

His hand brushed her waist very lightly, only briefly, but the surge of electricity that shot through their two bodies was overwhelming.

"Sidney, you're late," said Tom reproachfully as soon as he entered the room. "Is it too much of me to ask my brother to give me a few hours of his precious time?"

Surprised by his brother's tone, Sidney's eyebrows rose.

"I apologize. I went swimming before the meeting and then had to walk here. I am sure that I am not the most important person at this meeting, so my delay is not too dramatic."

He said the last part slightly sarcastically, but Tom's face went red.

"You're the main investor, so it does matter," Tom snapped without noticing Sidney's eyes narrow.

He had not yet sat down like everyone else and faced his brother at the big table.

"I never agreed to take on this role," he spoke clearly, with a hard undertone.“Just because you want it that way doesn't mean that I put an utopian sum into a project that is just another one of your castles in the air.I am here at Babington's request, nothing more." 

There was a tense silence for a moment, until Esther cleared her throat and got up.

“Sit down, Sidney. I think we should first determine the order of the tasks to be done and then draw up a financing plan. There is a government support program for the renovation of the building, the application for it is quite complicated. Tom, how far are you with this?"

Tom looked a little nervous."I tried, but that's completely incomprehensible." Then he turned back to Sidney, who had now sat down and looked extremely tense.

"I emailed you the application and all documents this morning.You know your way around these things better, but the deadline is next week if we want to start this year.Do you think you can get the application processed by the beginning of the week?The lady from the ministry said it wouldn't make a good impression to submit the documents on the last day.” 

Charlotte noticed that Tom didn't even ask if Sidney would do the job, he just assumed it.She had checked the documents herself and it was a hell of a lot of work. They had talked about it for the first time weeks ago, she had assumed Tom would have taken care of it.

Sidney breathed in audibly, his jaw tight.

Then he caught a look from Babington and tilted his head slightly.

"Sure," was all he said.

It was exactly the same way he had imagined that this whole thing would work.It was always like this and he wondered why he kept getting wrapped up in Tom's projects.

The meeting continued, the list of things Sidney was supposed to do got longer, and his expression grew angrier.

After three hours, Babington finally stepped in and said it was enough to start with.

Everyone knew what to do, even if Tom had been unable to find a task for himself. 

"Come on, let's all have dinner at the _Waves of the Sea_ ," said Babington whereupon Esther, Charlotte and Mr. Stringer nodded.

Tom shook his head and got up.

"I'm sorry, Mary told me to be home tonight," he didn't sound very enthusiastic."I think we should have such a meeting every week.If we want to open in half a year, everyone has to know what to do.”

Esther agreed, as did Charlotte and Stringer.When Tom looked at his brother, he saw the angry furrow in his forehead and sighed.

"What," he said wearily, throwing his arms up in the air."What's the problem, Sidney?"

Sidney snorted in frustration.

"It certainly makes sense to hold regular meetings, but then structured," he replied and while Tom rolled his eyes, Ester and Charlotte looked at him attentively. 

"Mr. Stringer is clearly responsible for the reconstruction and renovation of the building, which is almost complete at least in the entrance area.Esther is responsible for the museum, Charlotte for the archive and you Tom for the conference center.Since the museum and the archive do not need any modifications, as the rooms should remain as they were originally, only minor renovations will be necessary, which should be dealt with first.So you three should sit down to discuss what Mr. Stinger should do first.”

Esther nodded and James made notes.Even if Sidney was an asshole, James thought he knew something about the business, and what he said made sense.

“The conference center will be the most complex project and cost the most money, so James should first make a plan and calculate the cost. The outside area has to be the last thing to be created, and since Babington's family home has an incredible garden, it could be taken as an example.”

Sidney looked questioningly at Babington, who had a slight smile on his face and nodded in agreement.Ignoring his friend's smug look, he continued.

“Since the only thing you want from me is money and connections, I will hardly have to be present at these meetings, moreover I have a life and a job in London. So you have to excuse me."

The last words were clearly addressed to Tom, who pressed his lips together annoyed and pouting slightly, packed his things and left the room with a short nod. 

Sidney sighed and leaned back.

He would have to pay for that, but if he had to invest - and he knew that he would not be able to avoid it - then at least in a project that would work. 

—- ~ —- 

The _Waves of the Sea_ was one of the Parkers' best running businesses in Sanditon.

The food was first class, the ambience classic and simple and the staff really well trained.It was Mary's main business, she was responsible for most things here, and every now and then she sent Sidney a list of things he was happy to get for her.

Selected wines, special aperitifs and fine products for the kitchen. 

"What do you think Sidney?Should we leave the murals as they are or should we restore them?”

Esther wrenched Sidney out of his thoughts and looked directly at him.

He cleared his throat to answer, but Charlotte got ahead of him.

"Esther, you shouldn't burden the man with such unimportant details, his poor head will not be able to process so many things, after all he has a hard job."

She spoke slightly condescendingly and avoided his gaze, but Sidney didn't let her out of his eyes. 

She had insulted him all evening;when he had ordered a glass of Pineot to eat, she had snorted softly, just as when he went outside afterwards to smoke a cigarillo.

Everything he said she commented with a snippy remark and slowly he got angry.

Her cheeks were slightly red, probably because she was angry with him, but he really didn't know what he had done.

He found it adorable, as did the furrow on her forehead. 

His eyes narrowed, he answered to Esther, but looked at Charlotte.

“Restoration is very expensive, so I would only choose those that are in the worst condition and leave the others as they are today. Also, I never said that my job is hard, only that I have one."

Charlotte scoffed angrily.

"We all have a job, not just you," she hissed, finally looking at him.

None of them could look away, the tension between them was clearly noticeable and the others at their table were silent, so as not to be drawn into their argument.

"I didn't doubt that either." Sidney was slowly losing patience, it was as if she wanted to misunderstand every word he said."But i don't drive the two-hour route here every week to attend meetings that I have nothing to contribute to."

"No, of course not ..." Charlotte murmured. 

She didn't know why she was so angry with him herself.He just pressed some buttons inside her that she didn't know she had. 

Babington tried to intervene and lighten the mood at their table.

"Would you like another glass of wine?Or you James, another beer?I will call the waiter ... ".

Feeling his eyes on her, Charlotte decided to go to the bathroom. Before she got up, however, she smiled kindly at Banington.

"Yes, thanks, I'll take another glass of wine, but for me it doesn't have to be the very expensive Pienot."

With that she left, heard James laughing loudly and Esther whistled through her teeth. 

Sidney took a deep breath in frustration - he'd bought the bloody wine for Mary, then he'd be allowed to drink a glass of it.

He felt like he was going to explode, all eyes at that table were on him, so he apologized too and followed her.

He leaned against the wall in front of the ladies' room to wait for her, but he couldn't stand it long and paced nervously.

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte stood in front of the mirror, running cold water over her hands.Why was she so rude to him?

He could finally drink whatever he wanted. But that was not the real problem.

He looked so good, so casual, yet elegant.In a few sentences, he had outlined the entire process for the project in Denham Place without having to think about it as if it were nothing special.

She had long thought about what should be done first and how, but herself had not come to a satisfactory result.If he just got a little bit more involved in this project, it could be a complete success, but he just didn't seem to want to. 

Annoyed, she opened the door, stepped out, and stood in front of him, far too close, but Sidney didn't back away. 

"What, please, is your problem?" He asked angrily, staring down at her.

Charlotte was unsettled for a moment, he was really tall compared to her, but she would not be intimidated by him.

"You're my problem," she started furious, staring defiantly into his stormy eyes."I don't understand how you can be so cold.Your brother does so much for this town, for all people who live and work here.It is your hometown as well, it would certainly not kill you to make your contribution and support him.”

"To make my contribution?" Sidney hissed between gritted teeth, he really didn't need to justify himself to this runaway girl.

"Instead of spending your money on some nonsense, you could help Tom and don't call his life's work here in Sanditon a castle in the air."

It was enough, he had only had to listen to allegations or demands all day, and his patience ran out.

"You shouldn't be talking about things you have no idea about," he said menacingly, but Charlotte was so angry now that she couldn't stop.

Something about him scratched her.

"No idea?Oh, Tom told me enough about you that I know what I'm talking about.” 

That was enough.

"Tom ..." Sidney growled."The great Tom Parker.I want to tell you something about Tom Parker: 8 years ago, when I was just starting to live a normal life, he called me.There was a fire in his newly built luxurious wellness area, but he had not yet insured the building.He was in despair, about to go bankrupt, so I took out a loan that I am still paying to help rebuild it."

He had taken a small step forward unnoticed, his body almost touched hers and his tense, dark voice sent wild shivers down Charlotte's back.

"Two years later he called again. He had made a mistake in funding the spa that he had promised Arthur and Diana. I invested, paid for the workers and materials, but Tom celebrated himself as a great patron.As soon as I was back in England, he had completely taken over by the renovation of the resort and almost lost Trafalger House.The horrendous mortgage that he had registered on our parents' house is paid for by me, not by him." 

Sidney swallowed, he could see Charlotte's face working, but she had attacked him, not he she.

“I am the silent main owner and managing director of all of his companies in this town, so don't tell me I could do more for him.You should better inform yourself in the future before you believe everything that is said to you out of sheer naivety." 

Charlotte went pale.

He was right, she had simply assumed that what Tom said was true.Still, she was badly affected by his insult and her eyes burned with tears.

She didn't want to show him that she was hurt, didn't want to admit how much she was ashamed of his accusation that she was naive, so she stepped past him and hastily left the restaurant.


	12. Lose control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... please enjoy

"Wait ...."

Sidney swore softly as he turned to follow her out of the restaurant.

Damn, he hadn't wanted to be so rude, but it seemed impossible for him to act like a normal person in her presence.The attraction he felt was too much for him, he felt like he was tearing apart with tension.

She was almost around the corner, he saw her curls waving in the light breeze and ran after her.

"Charlotte ..., wait," he said softly, reaching for her arm.

A tingle ran from his fingers all over his body when he touched her bare skin.The feeling paralyzed him for a moment, but he backed away in shock when she turned to him. 

Her eyes glowed with anger, but they also shimmered with tears.

God, this woman was driving him crazy.

Suddenly he understood what drew him so strongly to her. It was her big dark eyes, in which he sank into, her wild curls, her pretty face with the dimple on her chin, and it was her breathtaking, sensual body.But more than that it was her, her whole gentle and fiery being that attracted him.

He wanted her!He wanted everything .....

Charlotte had heard him run after her, but didn't want to turn to him.Only when he touched her could she run no further, but to meet his eyes now, which looked into her soul, was too much.

"What," she hissed in a trembling voice.She didn't understand what was happening to her.He confused her, the feelings that flooded her around him overwhelmed her and she was attracted to him so much that she could hardly think clearly.Still, she was angry with him, why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"What do you want from me?"

For a moment he looked at her uncertainly and Charlotte could see how her question triggered something in him. 

His eyes grew darker, more intense, and the next moment she felt him push her against the wall.

His hot, hard body pressed against hers, his hands dug into her curls and his soft, full lips pressed against her mouth.

He kissed her hard, his mouth moved demanding over her lips and with a slight gasp, Charlotte reached for his upper arms.Completely overwhelmed by her feelings, Charlotte did not resist, on the contrary, she moved her lips as best she could with his.

Sidney had lost control, she looked so adorable and seductive that he couldn't stop reaching for her.

When she gasped softly and he felt her little hands on his arms, he felt a deep longing and his anger at her and the overwhelming desire turned into passion.

Suddenly his kiss softened, he stroked her lips gently and tenderly with his as if he only now understood what he was doing. Her lips were slightly open, he carefully pulled her full lower lip between his and tasted her for the first time.

She tasted sweet, but she also tasted of something else, something that was just her and all meaningful thoughts disappeared from his brain.

While his fingers tilted her head slightly to the side, he opened his mouth and gently licked her lip with his tongue. It was so full and soft, the tip of his tongue slid into her mouth without resistance and stroked the inside of her lower lip.

Charlotte groaned softly, his tender touch made her want more and she opened her mouth to invite him.

She heard him growl as his tongue dipped into her mouth, hit hers, and slowly started exploring her.It was an incredible feeling that she had never experienced before.

Without realizing it, Charlotte's fingers had slipped over his shoulders into his hair, she dug them into his short curls and when he trembled, she pulled his head closer.

Sidney slowly ran his hands down her neck, carefully touching her collarbone and then went deeper.He gently wrapped her sides, just under her breasts, and lifted her slightly on her toes until he could press his hips straight into hers. 

This time they both groaned, Sidney's hands seemed to burn into her skin through her blouse. When she felt his thumb lightly brush her breasts, she whimpered, which made Sidney even more desperate.

Hungry, but full of tenderness, he kissed her, repeatedly sucking or sipping her lip, then calming the area with the tip of his tongue, his tongue searched for hers, curled and teased hers.Charlotte dipped into his mouth and was overwhelmed by his taste, she bit his full lower lip and scratched the soft stubble on his chin with one hand. 

Charlotte had never been kissed like this in her life - she was convinced that no one had ever been kissed like this.

Not only was it passionate and deep, tender and hungry, it was sensual in a seductive way that she let herself be completely lost in him. 

For the moment she forgot her uncertainty about his past, forgot that everyone had told her he was a womanizer and simply enjoyed his sensual touch and seductive closeness.

She wanted this man so much - she wanted him ...

He seemed to feel like her, his right hand clasped her face, his thumb caressed her cheek, and his fingertips brushed her neck.

At the same time, his other arm wrapped around her waist, his body pressed even closer to her and Charlotte's inside almost exploded when she felt him hard on her.

God, the bulge in his pants that pressed against her middle seemed huge. Could it really be that he found her as attractive as she found him?

The thought made her brave, moaning, she tried to pull him even closer, her hand slid over his back, slipped under his vest on his dark blue shirt and from there slightly under the waistband of his pants.

Sidney hissed, his eyes opened for a moment, his lips against hers, his hot breath tickling her face.

Charlotte looked at him as she pulled his shirt out of his waistband to slide her hand on the bare skin of his back.

The sound that escaped him when her cool fingers touched his heated skin was incredibly sexy, his eyes closed and his lips gripped hers desperately.

Fascinated, Charlotte stroked his velvety skin, at first only with her fingertips, then put her flat hand on his back.He felt incredible, his muscles twitching as she pushed her fingers up until she reached his shoulder blades. 

This time his kiss was deeper, slower, his tongue made her wild and she felt his hand slide over her body.

He touched the side of her breasts, more obvious now and less hesitantly, his thumb stroked the fabric of her clothes and found her sensitive, hard nipple pushing through her blouse and Charlotte groaned roughly in his mouth.

Her hot fingers on his skin, her small body he pressed into, and the way she moaned in his mouth were sexy and incredibly arousing - Sidney felt like he was falling apart here and there.

He gently ran his thumb around her nipple, he would have given anything to tear her blouse off her and feel her bare skin, but in a small part of his brain he knew they were leaning against the wall of a restaurant.Instead, he wrapped his palm around her beautiful breast and growled as her nails dug into the skin of his back.

It felt so good, her breast fit snugly in his hand and he couldn't resist dropping his other hand down from her hair as well.

But now his fingers slipped over the bare skin of her visible cleavage, opened the top button of her blouse, and pulled the fabric further apart.Searching, he ran his fingers over the swelling of her breast until he felt the thin lace of her bra.

Now it was even harder for him not to take off her blouse - he really wanted to look at her.

He had no choice but to push his fingers further, he groaned hoarsely as he realized what thin and certainly sexy underwear she was wearing, and when he found her hard nipple this time, he rolled it gently between his fingertips.

Charlotte groaned, her head fell back and without hesitation Sidney pressed his lips to the soft skin under her ear.

When she felt his hot, wet tongue on her neck, Charlotte felt like she was burning from the inside out.

What did he do to her?

His hands on her breasts drove her crazy, her hand slid down his bare back to gently slide her fingers into his waistband again, while she reached back into his hair with the other hand to pull his mouth back to hers.

They kissed hungry and deep, Sidney's hips rocked against her, made her whimper, and then his hands moved down.

Slowly and hesitantly, he let go of her seductive breasts, slid down over her ribs to her belly, left a trail of fire, and then slid his hands on her perfect butt.

He lifted her even higher as if she didn't weigh anything at all, Charlotte was just about to wrap her legs around his waist when she heard James' voice. 

"Charlotte?"

Sidney only pulled back minimally, his eyes almost black, they both breathed heavily, which caused her breasts to press into his chest, causing an almost painful feeling inside of her.

"I swear if the asshole touches her and makes her one of his conquests, I'll give him a punch," James sounded worried, and suddenly the uncertainty returned to Charlotte.

Was that what Sidney did?

Was she just one of his many and numerous conquests?

She couldn't stand the thought, so she pulled her hand out from under his shirt and pushed him away from her.Without looking at him, she pushed herself out between him and the wall and disappeared around the corner in the dark.

Sidney was left completely agitated.

The loss of her warm body made him tremble, his anger against James Stringer increased, as did his insecurity.

What was that just?

And why had she just left him there?

She had returned his kiss, pulled his shirt out of his pants and touched him, she had moved against him, but no sooner did she hear Stringer's voice than she backed away.

Or was it because of what Stringer had said?

Did she think he would only conquer her?

The question that burned him the most was why he had kissed her at all.He knew the answer, but he certainly didn't want to admit it. 

Frustrated, he leaned his forehead against the cool wall, his heart was racing, and his desire for her was overwhelming.

He should really control himself better, or he would have serious problems.

He hit his head a little harder against the wall. He knew it was too late to be careful.

He was already completely lost. 

—- ~ —- 

After a terrible night, he needed something to keep himself busy.

So Sidney had asked Esther to let him in at Denham Place, and now he was standing in the room that had once been a library and took a deep breath.

The smell of the wood didn't reassure him, he hadn't slept, was too upset, and had decided to measure the rooms alone until Babington was ready to leave.

He worked carefully, measuring the shelves and drawing a plan. Then he took pictures with his cell phone, took notes and looked at everything closely.

Then he went into the next room that could possibly be used as a reading room and also mapped it.The room on the other side of the library was just as beautiful, there was an old armchair in front of the window, into which he sank with a deep sigh.

He would persuade Tom to give Charlotte both rooms. They were a perfect match and he knew she would be happy about it. 

Just thinking about her made his skin tingle again.

The disappointment that she had left him there hurt, but he forced himself to accept it.

It wouldn't do him any good anyway to get closer to her, so it was best that way. Sidney barely managed to suppress his desire for her, but he had to. She was far too innocent and pure to engage in a man like him - a man with his history, and she shouldn't. 

He wasn't good at this, as his past proved - she deserved it better. 

Nevertheless, the feeling of her lips on his remained with him, he felt the heat of her body, her finger in his hair and the softness of her breast.

When he closed his eyes, he heard her whimper in his head and knew for sure that it would haunt him no matter what he did and how much he convinced himself that he didn't want her. 

_He wanted her ...!_

Damned! he thought. He was really lost


	13. Aftermath

Bathed in sweat, Charlotte sat up and took a moment to understand where she was.

Since she had seen him the last time, she had been dreaming of him.

She had never reacted to a man like this before and it made her completely uneasy.She was unfocused, easily startled, and mostly tired because he no longer let her sleep peacefully.

After the evening in the restaurant and that kiss, she hadn't seen him again.She had never been so ashamed in her life - not only that she had just let him stand after such a kiss, she had also insulted him and treated him really badly before.It was not like her, and since she did not understand why she behaved so completely different from her in relation to him, she had been buried in her apartment all Sunday, reading and successfully avoiding him.

But the more time passed, the more she wanted to see him.It was completely confusing and she started to get angry with herself.

Why hadn't she stayed?

And what would have happened if she had?

She would never know the answer to this question, so there was no point in thinking about it, but her dreams betrayed her.

She dreamed endlessly of his touch, his lips and while she was sleeping they were not interrupted.While she was sleeping she did what she wanted and took off his shirt.While she was sleeping, they were not leaning against a house wall, but he carried her to his hotel room, where his smell was overwhelming, where he undressed her tenderly and loved her with pure passion.While she was sleeping, she was not insecure, but brave and forgot the stories about him.

But real life was different: there _were_ stories about countless women in his life and Charlotte couldn't help but wonder what a man like him wanted with her.

All of these thoughts didn't matter, however, since Sidney was back in London and he would now think she was insane anyway.

Hopefully he wouldn't return to Sanditon anytime soon, so she could successfully suppress the feelings she had for him.

She was lucky because she didn't hear a word from him for two weeks.Together with Esther, James and Tom, she had spent many hours in Denham Place to divide up the rooms for the individual projects.To her complete surprise, a reluctant Tom even gave her three rooms for the archive, but she didn't dare write to Sidney.

She had started typing an email several times, but had always deleted the text.

James started with smaller work in the area for Esther, so Charlotte's tasks got stuck for the time being.

She had read on a portal that there was going to be a fair of historical books in London the following weekend, but Tom had simply refused her suggestion to attend.

The participants had to pay a not very high amount, but it was overpriced for Tom's terms to get into the building, because the fair was held in in an old, historic building near the Tower of London, and he wasn't willing to pay that amount.

When Charlotte offered to pay the amount herself, he laughed and said that she shouldn't spend her salary on such nonsense. 

It was Sunday afternoon when Charlotte was sitting in the living room of Trafalger House sorting old children's pictures with Mary.The two women had a lot of fun creating a baby album for Jenny, Alicia and Henry, while Tom was sitting at the other end of the table with his laptop. 

"We got the promise from the government support program, can you believe that?Mr. Business-man must have made an impression."

Mary sighed in frustration and glared at her husband. "Tom, if you don't stop your nonsensical jealousy of your brother, you and I will have serious problems at some point."

Tom rolled his eyes but said nothing.Sidney had personally submitted the application to the responsible government and they had already received the grant.

Charlotte had looked at the documents and was impressed by how detailed and accurate he had shown the whole project in such a short time. Now she breathed in relief - she was glad that Mary defended her brother-in-law because she didn't dare to do it herself. 

"This thing doesn't like me," scolded Tom after pressing wildly on several keys and Charlotte suppressed a laugh.She had shown him several times how easy it was to use his expensive laptop, but he just couldn't remember things like that.

"Can I help you?" She asked with a laugh and Tom looked up.

"Yes, please.Why can't I open this email?" 

Charlotte got up and went to him, and no sooner had she bent over his shoulder did her heart start racing.

It was an email from Sidney, whose subject was " _London Book Fair, next weekend"_.

After opening it, she saw in the recipient column that it was addressed to herself, too.She started to read curiously and her inside tingled treacherously.

_Hey together_

_I read the advertisement for the historical book fair that will take place next weekend.I think it would not be a bad thing to show up there, the contacts that could be made there for the archive in Denham Place could be of great value._

_Let me know if and how many cards to get._

_S._

"Oh, like you two have the same head," mocked Tom, opening the comment column and typing his answer with one finger. 

_TP: Charlotte annoyed me already because of that, but I find the donation requested much too high._

"I didn't annoy you, I asked if we should take part," said Charlotte, slightly offended when she read what Tom had written.

"Sorry, dear, I didn't mean to offend you," replied Tom, smiling brightly and Charlotte nodded.

_SP: 100 pounds are not the world, I was there last year and they have really great, rare copies.It would definitely be worth it ..._

_TP: I won't pay that much for a fair ..._

_SP: For God's sake ... - I pay.How many cards?_

Tom grinned, that was exactly what he wanted to achieve.

Charlotte's stomach tightened. Sidney's words in the restaurant came to her mind and she noticed that Tom looked very happy.

_TP: Two.Mary and I haven't been to London in a long time, maybe Charlotte could take care of the kids and we could make a weekend out of it._

Disappointed, Charlotte swallowed.She would have liked to go to this fair, after all the archive was her project, but Tom wanted to be the center of attention.

Sidney's answer came quickly and Charlotte suppressed a laugh.

_SP: Are you stupid?Did you get too much sun?_

_SP: If someone goes to the fair, it's probably Charlotte, so find another babysitter._

Tom grumbled something unintelligible, typed an answer, and then closed his laptop.

_TP: Then three_

“Darling, we're going on a trip to London next weekend.We haven't been without the kids for a long time and I just got tickets for a book fair near the Tower of London. Is not that great?"

Mary looked up and frowned.

"The fair Charlotte was talking about?"

Tom didn't respond but stood up and looked for his phone.

"I will ask Diana if she will take the children. Charlotte, have you ever been to London?"

"Wait Tom, next Saturday is Jenny's piano performance.So we can't go anywhere and don't need a babysitter," said Mary, interrupting her husband's excited walk. 

"Oh, can't Diana go there with her?" Tom seemed to be thinking seriously about that and Mary looked at him sternly.

"No, Tom, she can't.We will go to our daughter's performance and that is the end.” 

Frustrated, Tom sat down in an armchair.

Charlotte was still standing behind the chair in front of which the laptop was lying and looked rather uncomfortable.

"Sidney will get three cards now, but if you two can't go, two cards are left," she said and Tom sighed.

"That's why I didn't want to have anything to do with it," he growled annoyed and took his phone out of his pocket again. "I'll take care of it.Maybe Arthur can go with you ... ”. 

Still worried, Charlotte sat down again, resolved to look for a hotel tonight and print out all the information about the fair from the Internet.

Hopefully Sidney didn't get too many cards, but secretly her heart jumped because he thought about it. 

—- ~ —- 

She hadn't even replied to his email.

He thought he would make her happy with the fair, but he hadn't gotten a reaction from her.

Neither had Tom replied to his last comment.

The next Saturday was Jenny's piano performance, he could hardly imagine that Mary would not be there.

He still got three cards, one for Charlotte, one for himself and one maybe for Esther or whoever would accompany her.

The last two weeks have been hard and almost painful. He soon found that he missed her. She was in his thoughts all the time, he slept badly and kept wondering why she had run away. There was no answer, which frustrated and angered him.

Therefore, he spent most of his evenings working or boxing in his fitness club.

Now he had just left the office when his phone vibrated.

It was a message from Tom telling him that he and Mary could not come over the weekend and Arthur would therefore accompany Charlotte.He also asked him to prepare one of their guest rooms for Charlotte so that she didn't have to go to the hotel.

At least that was what Tom had thought of, he thought in frustration.Not a word that there would be a card left after Tom's calculation, but Sidney hadn't expected anything else. 

Only when he was at home did his phone vibrate again with a WhatsApp message.

_Unknown number:_

_Hey, Arthur gave me your contact.Thank you for the book fair card, I would have tried to get there myself, but you were faster.It is definitely a good opportunity, even if your brother was not enthusiastic about it at all._

_Unknown number:_

_Sorry, this is Charlotte._

_Unknown number:_

_Charlotte Heywood_

Charlotte sighed in frustration and blushed.

Why had she written that?She wasn't quick enough to clear the messages again, as the two ticks were already turning blue, signaling that he had already read it. 

Only today, on Wednesday, had Tom told her that Arthur was going to London with her for the fair and that he had asked Sidney to prepare the guest room for her in their London home.

The situation made her so uncomfortable that she hadn't known what to say to Tom. Later she had asked Arthur for Sidney's number to write to him and say thank you.

How could she endure spending a whole weekend in his home with him? 

He had kissed her - passionate and deep - they had touched each orher;and then she ran away.Now he should set up a room for her in his home.She felt completely stupid, nervously typed a message to him and only made it worse.

She was thinking about what to write next when her phone buzzed.

Sidney couldn't help laughing softly when he read her messages.She had asked for his phone number, he thought, and was amazed at the rumble in his chest that triggered the thought in him.

_Me: You're welcome!Tom just didn't want to pay for it ..._

_Me: He wrote me that Arthur will accompany you.He has forgotten the performance of Jenny, which is actually impossible, since she hasn't talked about anything else for weeks._

While waiting for an answer, he created a new contact to save her number. He simply called her Charlotte, without family name.

There weren't many women in his contacts, none with whom he talked about WhatsApp, except Georgiana and he only knew one Charlotte.

Just when he hit save, his phone vibrated again

_Charlotte: I'll give you the money, you don't have to pay for me._

_Me: No way.It's not a problem, consider it an investment in the archive._

She didn't answer immediately, probably hesitating to accept his gift.But he would never accept that she gave him the money back.

_Charlotte: Thanks_

_Charlotte: Did Tom speak to you about the guest room in your house?It is not a problem for me to go to the hotel.I really don't want to make a fuss_.

_Me: I'll prepare the room tomorrow.Don't worry, it's not a problem._

_Me: When are you going to arrive here in London?Train or car?_

Sidney considered which of the two guest rooms he would prepare for her.His heart fluttered strangely at the thought of preparing her bed.

He scolded himself - he really had to pull himself together.

She had run away from him and and the memory of it hurt more than he wanted to admit.

Still, she had returned his kiss, he could still feel her hand on his skin, where it was under his shirt and without wanting it, he shivered.

_Charlotte: Come by train, sometime on Friday evening.Arthur organized everything._

_Charlotte: Thanks for the room ..._

Just when he wanted to answer, it vibrated again.

_Charlotte: How many cards did you get?Tom said three, but that is one too many now?_

He hesitated.Would it bother her that he would accompany them to the fair?

If he was honest, he was looking forward to the day, but he wasn't honest, not even to himself, so he shook his head and typed an answer.

_Me: have three, intended to go myself anyway._

His heart was pounding for an answer.

_Charlotte: Oh, ok, then we'll see you on Saturday?You've been there before, right?_

_Me: Yes, last year, you're sure to like it.See you on Friday, will be at Bedford Place when you arrive._

_Charlotte: I'm really looking forward to it.Then until Friday ... and thanks again._

Charlotte's heart was racing.

He would accompany her to the fair.That would mean that she would probably spend the entire Saturday with him.

Likewise, he would be there on Friday night when they arrived at his home. 

She was nervous.

Only a few days and she would see him again.The thought was exciting and intimidating at the same time.What would it be like to be around him again?


	14. Friday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really want to thank you all for your kind and encouraging comments. It's really nice to read them ...

Charlotte was more than nervous.

During the entire train journey, she had tried in vain to calm down.Arthur had spoken to her continuously good-naturedly to distract her, and when she had stared out the window he had watched her with a small smile.

Now they were approaching the Parker family's London home and Charlotte's breath caught.

_Bedford Place_ was in a classy part of town, it was absolutely impressive and really beautiful.She followed Arthur with big eyes through the old wooden door and down the hallway, which ended in a classy living room.

"Sidney?" He called as the house seemed empty, but the patio door was open.

"I'm here ...," came his dark voice from outside.

He was leaning against the house wall with his legs crossed, the sun was shining on his face and he was smoking.Charlotte could see his tanned forearms because he had rolled up his shirt sleeves.The other hand was in his pocket and when Charlotte entered the terrace he smiled slightly.

God, why did he have to look so good?

Unsure how to behave towards him, she turned away from him and looked around.

"Hey ...," he said softly, but then Arthur stepped through the door.

"Hey Sidney, finally ...," Arthur broke off when he noticed the smoke around his brother."You said you'd quit."

At his brother's silent reproach, Sidney put out his cigarillo and blew out a last cloud of smoke.

"Sorry, it's a stupid habit."

"The last time you said you would only do it when you were nervous.So there is hardly a reason now.” Arthur noticed the look Sidney gave Charlotte and laughed softly.

"Are you hungry?" He called cheerfully and went inside again."I'm half starved.Did you buy everything I wrote to you?"

"Yes, everything is in the kitchen," Sidney replied absently as he continued to watch Charlotte.

She had turned to him and was looking at him curiously.

Was he nervous too?she thought, but pushed the thought away.

"Hey," she replied softly to his earlier greeting and leaned against one of the stone pillars that bordered the terrace."Your brother doesn't like it when you smoke?"

Sidney smiled and threw the rest of the cigarillo into a bucket by the door.

"No.I used to smoke a lot more, but Arthur would like me to quit completely.I only rarely do it, but I can't completely get away from it.”

"I like the smell ...".Her grandfather used to smoke a pipe and it reminded her of him.

Sidney said nothing, just looked at her.

His intense gaze made her heart skip a beat and she was desperately looking for something to talk about.

"The house is pretty impressive," she started nervously, and Sidney smiled.

"Yes, it is. It has been in our family for generations.”

"But you are the only one who lives here permanently?"

Surprised and protesting, Sidney raised his hands and snorted.

"No, _God_ , I couldn't live here," he said honestly, and Charlotte met his eyes."It's way too ... I don't know ...".

"Pretentious?" Charlotte smiled with an answer and Sidney giggled.

"Yes, you could say that. It is beautiful, but too cold for my taste. I have an apartment in a somewhat less noble area of the city.” 

He kept surprising her. She hadn't expected that, she thought he was at home here.

“It has always been passed down among the Parkers siblings.Diana doesn't like being here in London, so she asked me to buy her share so that she could afford the terrace apartment in Sanditon.But she still has a room here.Arthur is often here, he has two rooms and the entire first floor is besieged by Tom, even if he also begged me to buy his share.”

Sidney didn't know why he was telling her all of this, but it was better than other topics.

Like their shared kiss ...

"So you own three-quarters of this imposing house, but you don't live here because most of it is occupied by Tom, but he sold his part to you?" Charlotte sounded incredulous, how could Tom have spread out here?

Sidney laughed and shrugged."I have a room ...," he replied and when Charlotte snorted, he straightened up and took her travel bag from her hand.

"Come on, I'll show you your room, it's on the same floor as Arthur's so you don't feel so lonely in the empty house." 

She followed him inside, Arthur seemed to be cooking, which made her stomach growl, but Sidney led her up two floors.

The room was beautiful, and even here she could smell him because he had prepared it for her.Sidney stopped at the door, put her bag down, and watched her look around.He had put a lot of effort into the room, but he didn't want to admit it.

He cleared his throat uncertainly and turned around, one hand buried in his pocket.

"Um ..., make yourself comfortable, we'll see you at dinner."

With that he was gone, closing her door and leaving her with confused thoughts.

A quarter of an hour later she went downstairs, joined Arthur in the kitchen, and set the table.

"I hope you like fried chicken with vegetables, it is a recipe from our mother and I love it." Arthur seemed to be a good cook, there was no mess, he was cleaning up and enjoying a glass of wine.

"Oh yeah.Thank you for cooking, I didn't know that you were such a good houseman."

Laughing, he dried his hands and took his glass.

"All Parker kids can cook - well, everyone except Tom."

Charlotte laughed, said yes when Arthur offered her a glass of wine, and put it on the table.

"Would you mind running upstairs and getting Sidney?His room is the first on the third floor, on the right.”

She could hardly say no, so she nodded and slowly went upstairs.Her heart was racing when she reached his door and knocked carefully. 

There was no answer, she knocked again, but again nothing.

Should she go down again?Arthur waited to eat, he had made such an effort, so she knocked again.

When there was no answer again from inside, she turned the doorknob and carefully opened the door.

She couldn't stop herself from looking around curiously, even if there wasn't really much to see.A closet, a desk and a bed, otherwise there were few personal belongings and Charlotte was a little disappointed.

Just as she was about to call him, she heard footsteps behind her.Footsteps from bare feet. 

Charlotte turned and her breath caught. 

In the half-dark hallway directly behind her, Sindey Parker stood only with a white towel around his waist.His hair curled wildly around his head, drops of water glittered on his muscular chest and his stomach had an impressive six-pack.

His arms were muscular too, he was tanned and only a few hairs covered his upper body, even if a dark trail of hair went down from his navel and disappeared under his towel. 

Sidney hadn't seen her when he left the bathroom.

Now her chocolate eyes slid over his half-naked body and he completely forgot to even breathe.His body responded to her, he needed everything to hide it.

"Oh ... sorry, I didn't want to ...," Charlotte blushed deeply, she breathed quickly and had to force herself to close her eyes to stop looking at him."Arthur asked me to bring you to dinner."

Sidney swallowed but kept looking at her.

"No problem.I'll be right down ... ".His deep voice tingled all over her body, he spoke softly and a little hoarsely.

"Right ...".

He stood between her and the stairs, after only a step that brought her even closer to him, Charlotte stopped and concentrated on his face.But his almost black eyes didn't really help her either, it was so intense, but then he cleared his throat and stepped aside.

Charlotte hurried past him, was struck by his overwhelming smell and could not help but turn to him again at the stairs.

She saw his muscular back, he had a scar pretty far down, over the edge of the towel that was snug around his butt.

God, she would never get these pictures out of her head again.

Sidney got dressed, with trembling fingers and a racing pulse.Just her eyes on him were driving him crazy, how about if she touched him with her fingers?

He knew it, she had touched him - it was completely overwhelming.

It took a long moment before he could go down the stairs reasonably calm. It smelled fantastic, he noticed the small smile on his own face and entered the kitchen. 

Arthur was about to get the chicken out of the oven and Sidney looked over his shoulder.

"Mom's recipe?" He asked softly and took a deep breath.Their mom had been an incredible cook.

Arthur turned worried."Yes, I mean ... I hope that's ok?“ All Parkers knew that their mother's topic was difficult with Sidney and he certainly hadn't wanted to upset or worry him.But Sidney smiled and squeezed his shoulder.

"It's okay, I love that."

Charlotte, standing in the door to the dining room, couldn't help but smile at the sight of the two brothers.

At that very moment Sidney looked up and met her eyes. Charlotte blushed because he had caught her and turned hastily.

Frowning, Sidney turned back to Arthur."Can I help you a little?"

"You can carry the food in and serve it." Arthur grinned while Sidney groaned. 

Dinner was a fun affair, mostly Arthur and Charlotte speaking, both telling stories from their childhood, while Sidney was only listening most of the time - with an atypical slight smile.

When they were finished, Sidney cleared the table, poured them a glass of wine, and insisted on cleaning the kitchen on his own.It took a good half hour before he rejoined with his sleeves rolled up. 

"You know you're at home here, don't you?" Arthur gave him a teasing grin and Sidney sat down with a smile."You could have just dressed in jeans and a t-shirt."

Sidney inhaled audibly, shook his head, and grimaced with a smile.

"I don't have a t-shirt, at least not here. I can't help it, you know that.” He spoke softly and felt that Charlotte was looking at him curiously.

And he hadn't been wrong, because she cleared his throat and leaned slightly over the table at which she was sitting opposite him.

"Why?" She asked with a sweet frown."I mean, why can't you do otherwise?"

Sidney remained silent for a while, turning his wineglass between his fingers before sighing deeply.Arthur leaned back and waited as eagerly as Charlotte for his brother's answer. 

“Our father was probably a good man.He adored Tom, was loving to Diana and Arthur, but somehow he couldn't do anything with me. I look like Mom's father, whom he absolutely disliked;I always asked the wrong questions, I was too quick-tempered and not happy, and in general much too thoughtful.When he caught me doing Tom's homework and heard me ask him if he was stupid because he didn't understand the math, I got the worst spanking of my life." Sidney narrowed his eyes at the memory and tensed,he hadn't looked at anyone while he was speaking, but now he looked up and smiled slightly.

"Just dressing properly was something I could do right. It was something that I understood and I have perfected it as a child. Tom has always been too impatient for such insignificance, Arthur always hung his shirt from the waistband, but I was always dressed properly.I never got into trouble for that, or at least no spanking, even if the colors were always too dark for father.”

Now he grinned and smoothed out his gray vest. "It stayed, it's in my head, so ... I can't help it." 

It was quiet for a while, Charlotte didn't know what to say, she felt bad for him and imagined him as a little boy who dressed properly to get some attention from his father.Sidney, on the other hand, was furiously wondering why he had said that.In her presence it seemed as if he wanted to share with her all the things that he had locked inside for years.

It was Arthur who broke the mood and made everyone laugh.

"In any case, you always look good, even now when you go into the living room with us and watch a movie on the sofa."

"Oh no, not some nonsense again, the last movie I watched with you was terrible." Sidney sank deep into his chair and dropped his head back.

"That was ‚What's Your Number?‘, and it wasn't nonsense.It was funny ...".Arthur laughed at the doubtful expression on his brother's face, then looked at Charlotte.

She didn't know the film, had no idea what it was about, so Arthur told her the general content of the film, in which a woman sleeps with 20 men and then panics, unable to find the right one.

She laughed, it was really nonsense.

"Did this film come from the fantasy department?A woman and twenty men, how old was she?"

No sooner had she said that than she regretted it and blushed.Sidney’s eyes met hers, his eyebrows narrowed, his eyes curious.Arthur also looked at her with curiosity, but he also noticed his brother's look and decided to nudge Charlotte a little.

"Is that much?I think she was a little older than you?” He said with an evil grin."Are you going to say you're not so permissive?"

The blush darkened and spread over her neck, Sidney had to force himself not to follow the color, but he had to admit that he was interested in her answer.

Charlotte squirmed and cleared her throat, but then straightened.

"No, I'm not," she answered honestly, avoiding Sidney’s eyes."If you had to know, I've only been with two men so far, it's been a while and they were both bad."

Arthur laughed, told about a terrible guy who had once followed Diana, but Sidney stopped listening.

His thoughts whirled. So she was pretty inexperienced.He hadn't expected that the way she'd reacted to his kiss, but it made it a lot more intense. And more confusing. 

Charlotte could practically see the cogs in Sidney's head moving.God, why did she say that?Now he would think she were prudish and inexperienced, and although that was the truth, it made her insecure.

When her eyes met his, she caught her breath - his eyes were really piercing.But he smiled, then looked at the table and emptied his wine glass.

"I'll go home, Charlotte looks tired.Tomorrow will be a busy day, we should be rested."

Slowly he got up, stopped behind the chair and squeezed Arthur's shoulder.

"I'll pick you both up tomorrow at 9, the fair opens at 10 and we should be there early enough."

Arthur remained seated, but looked up and leaned back.

"You could just sleep here, you have a room here."

He didn't miss the look Sidney gave Charlotte, if only out of the corner of his eye.Something was going on between the two, the air crackled practically and he enjoyed watching the attraction between the two.

"Thank you, but it's not far, and I'd rather sleep in my own bed." The thought of sleeping just a floor above her made his heart race, and he knew that if he stayed here he wouldn't close his eyes all night. 

Charlotte also got up, yawned and Sidney laughed.

"Good night, Charlotte.See you tomorrow ...,” he said softly and in a dark voice.

"Good night.And thanks ..., for everything here.” She made a gesture, encompassing the whole house or all of London, she didn't know herself.With a last look he turned, said goodbye to Arthur and left.

It took a while for her to fall asleep.

She was nervous, excited, and insecure at the same time, and above all there was the smell of him that was still hanging in her room.


	15. Historical book fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... please enjoy!!

Since Sidney had hardly slept, he was at Bedford Place half an hour earlier.

At dawn he'd run through the park near his apartment to calm down a little, but it hadn't helped much.

Now he leaned his back against his car and waited.She was somewhere in there, the woman he had been thinking about all night.

How could he have fallen for her so quickly? It was almost ridiculous, he certainly hadn't wanted it, but he started to accept it.

In her room, Charlotte stared at the clothes on the bed and hesitated.On impulse, she had packed a bra and panties made of pure lace.She had never worn the underwear, never had the chance, but now she was lying here on the big bed.

She didn't want to admit that when she packed, she thought of Sidney - his reaction to her much simpler bra when he kissed her.

Not that he would ever see her underwear, but ...

With a sigh she dressed, the light summer dress with short sleeves that she had bought for the day fit perfectly and before she left her room she grabbed a light jacket. With open, wild hair and flat ballerinas, she met Arthur, who was waiting for her in the hallway. 

"Wow, you look good," he smiled with a sparkle in his eyes.Arthur knew that his brother had been standing in front of the house for half an hour staring up at the window that belonged to the room he had prepared for Charlotte.

He really hoped that there could be more between the two, they fit well together and his brother certainly deserved it.

"Thank you.Do you think I can go like this?"

Charlotte smoothed the loose skirt of the dress, which reached to her knees.She was so terribly nervous.

"Of course ..," grinned Arthur and opened the front door.

Sidney looked up and felt his heart stop.

Her hair shimmered in the morning sun, the dress she was wearing highlighted the beautiful curves of her sensual body without showing too much and the dark blue made her eyes shine.

She looked simply beautiful.

"Good morning ...," she said quietly, noticing how his dark eyes took her in and shivered. His intense eyes in her weren't uncomfortable, rather the opposite, it made her feel confident.

Only when Arthur closed the door with a loud bang did Sidney tear himself out of his trance.He cleared his throat and ran an embarrassed hand over his face.

"Uhm ..., good morning."

Still leaning against his car, Charlotte slowly went down the few steps to him and raised her eyebrows.

"This is your car?Isn't that a bit pretentious too?"

Sidney laughed out loud.He drove a dark red Porsche 356 built in 1950.

"I love this car, so be careful what you say.I bought it overseas on my first successful charity project and I won't apologize for it. It is a classic car, and if you insult it, you are not allowed to go with it.”

Grinning, Charlotte stroked the cowling of the car carefully.

"It's a great car, I would never dare to insult it."

Finally Sidney got up, went around his car and opened the door for her.She walked up to him slowly, slightly nervous about his gentleman behavior, but actually it was really cute.

"You look very pretty today, by the way," he whispered softly when she was standing right next to him.The expression on his face was illegible, his voice dark and rough, but his eyes sparkled.

"Thank you ...". Charlotte murmured breathlessly, she blushed a little and got in, but she didn't miss the fact that he inhaled her scent deeply.

Did he like her smell as much as she liked his?

Sidney stubbornly ignored his brother, who was watching him closely, and let him crawl into the back seat.Then he meandered through the traffic towards the Tower of London.

The building where the fair was held was absolutely impressive.The view of the Tower of London was nice, Charlotte unconsciously grabbed Sidney’s arm and looked around with shining eyes.

"Wow, that's incredibly beautiful here. And so impressive. What do you think it will look like inside?"

Smiling, Sidney turned slightly to her.He wished her hand was right on his skin, but even so, her warmth burned through the fabric of his shirt.

"Let's go in, you will be amazed ...".

Embarrassed, Charlotte noticed that she was touching him and pulled her hand back.But then she smiled slightly, because now it was he who put his hand gently on her back to lead her up the big stairs. 

She was looking forward to the day and was determined to enjoy it. 

Arthur followed the two, he didn't mind that they practically forgot about him, and watched with enthusiasm that the two of them apparently failed not to touch each other.

They were barely inside when Charlotte stopped with her mouth open again.

It was really breathtaking, huge bookshelves and showcases were set up everywhere, it smelled of leather and paper and was swarming with people.

"Oh god, there are a lot of people here ...," Charlotte murmured softly.She was pretty close to Sidney, his presence reassured her, especially since he was pretty confident here.

"You just have to pretend that you are definitely one of them.Your knowledge of literature surpasses most of the people in this room, so don't doubt yourself and just smile.”

Surprised by his compliment, she looked at him, he smiled warmly and lovingly at her, which was a really nice feeling. 

In the following hour they slowly went from one trade fair stand to another, talked to a lot of people and Sidney even bought an original edition of _Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice'._

She had seen the book and admired it, it was really beautifully bound and had a dedication on the first page, but when Sidney wanted to buy it - for her - she'd protested.It was far too expensive, but he had insisted.

"Please, just let me make you happy. We cannot come here and at least not buy a book."

Charlotte had bitten her lip uncertainly and had seen a muscle twitch in Sidney's cheek.He had turned away abruptly and bought the book. Wrapped in soft paper, she was holding it in her hand as they walked on slowly.

"Thank you ...".She shyly glanced over her shoulder at him, but quickly turned back when his intense eyes met her. 

His eyes were far too dark ...

"Sidney, how nice to meet you."

It was a bright, happy voice that made them all turn around.The woman, who came up to them with outstretched arms, was very pretty, with a bright smile she hugged Sidney, who returned the gesture.

"Susan, I've been looking for you," said Sidney, stepping back and pointing first to Arthur, then to Charlotte."May I introduce my brother Arthur and ... this is Charlotte Heywood."

Susan greeted Arthur with a smile and turned her full attention to Charlotte.

"Ah, you must be the young lady this bookworm raved about." Susan grinned when both Charlotte and Sidney blushed.

"Charlotte, this is Susan Worchester.She is a collector of literary works, I told her about your idea and she might be ready to lend some of her most valuable copies.”

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Worchester." Charlotte was still thinking about Sidney apparently talking about her, but was trying to concentrate.

"Oh please, call me Susan.I've been trying to buy his _Chaucer_ from him for years, but he refuses.” She laughed, leaned closer to Charlotte, and whispered conspiratorially."I have considered of blackmailing him, but that would be too immoral."

Charlotte chuckled."I've already thought about that too. Everyone would probably like to have such a book .. ".

"If you ask nicely, you might get it for your archive.After all, he sent me a list of the books he would like to have from me, it would only be fair if he also contributed something.” 

Watching the two women made Sidney smile. He knew they would get along well.

Now they both looked at him promptly and he bowed his head humbly.

"As the ladies wish, but only if you put your incomplete _Gutenberg Bible_ on the most beautiful shelf next to my _Chaucer_ in Charlotte's library."

Susan pretended to be outraged, but then smiled."Let's have a coffee and do some business, then we should enjoy this day to the fullest."

Charlotte was completely overwhelmed, she looked back and forth between Susan and Sidney and didn't move when Susan went to a defined area.

Only when she felt Sidney’s hand on her back did she look at him.

"Are you all right?"

"She ..., she has a _Gutenberg Bible_?" Stammered Charlotte in shock.

Sidney smiled. "Just an incomplete one and it was an heirloom, but she also has an original edition of Heraclite's best known works and one of Shakespeare's First Folio, but that's already loaned to a museum."

He gently led her to the table where Susan was waiting, but Charlotte stopped again.

"What does she mean by business? Would she really lend us some of her copies?"

"I hope. I wrote to her the night you told me about your idea and she loved it.She also has her great-grandmother's diaries and a huge family chronicle. Just talk to her and convince her of your idea, I'm sure she will be thrilled."

Charlotte stared at him overwhelmed until he put his hands warm on her shoulders.

"Charlotte," he whispered, his voice deep and soothing."You have a great idea, you are smart and convincing and I told you not to doubt yourself. Just be yourself."

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte nodded, feeling safe with him by her side, but her heart was still racing as she sat down at the table with Susan. 

They spent the next few hours talking, negotiating, and working out a proposal for a contract.

Susan was excited about Charlotte, the two women laughed and talked about everything and clearly enjoyed each other's company.Except for legal matters, Sidney remained silent, said nothing, and sat back.

"I want to see the premises first and get to know the other people involved in the project," said Susan and got her calendar.“I have some friends with the same passion who, like me, have been looking for a way to make our books available to the public for a long time. I wrote to all of them and next Saturday we would all have time to visit Denham Place. Would that work for you?"

Charlotte nodded enthusiastically."Sure, we will make it possible. I will let Esther and Tom know immediately, I assume that Georg Babington will also be in Sanditon and we will be happy to show you everything.”

"Very well.Now I have to go on, one of the carrion vultures has been waiting over there all the time, but I will have you three put on the list for dinner tonight.”

Susan got up to say goodbye and the others followed.

"Oh, that's not necessary ...". Charlotte protested, but Susan insisted.She hugged Charlotte first, then Sidney, and shook Arthur's hand.Then she was gone, leaving the three speechless. 

"It looks like you're going to be successful, Charlotte." Arthur grinned, looking forward to dinner.

"God Sidney, how should I ever thank you for that?Without you I would never have known someone so influential. The list of her books is huge."

That was exactly how he had hoped the day would work, and Sidney couldn't help but stare at her.Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were shining and it felt good to know that he had made her happy.

"You don't have to thank me," he said softly."I am happy to help you." 

Until the dinner that would take place on the second floor, they roamed the fair.Arthur met a few acquaintances and left them alone, but they barely noticed.

At each fair stand they found a copy that they were discussing, they laughed together and told each other on which occasions they had read which book.

Time passed quickly, and soon Sidney led her upstairs.

"Did you also take part in the dinner last year?"

Sidney shook his head and looked around."No, I've never been up here.But I'm afraid it will be pretty classy and stiff."

Charlotte looked at him curiously."You should be used to attending such events, right?"

"Perhaps used, but that doesn't mean I like it." He shrugged and turned to give their names.

"Oh my god, I will come here every year in the future." After entering the hall, Arthur looked around curiously, his eyes immediately looked at the long buffet tables and Charlotte laughed. 

The food was excellent, they were sitting at a table with ten people, and Arthur was engrossed in a conversation with his companion.This gave Sidney the opportunity to talk to Charlotte alone.

"Where does your enthusiasm for books come from?"

Smiling, she put her cutlery on her empty plate and leaned back.

“My grandfather, the one who also smoked a pipe, was an enthusiastic reader and he always read to us children in the evenings.My parents have always had a lot to do with the farm, so it was he who kept us busy after dinner until Mum could get us to bed.I loved listening to him and I got my first book of my own from him. _Jane Eyre_ by Charlotte Brontë."

It was so easy to talk about things like that and they both enjoyed it.The whole day had been overwhelming for Charlotte, Sidney’s kindness had surprised her and she felt really comfortable.

At dessert, she suddenly felt that he had come closer, his leg touched hers under the table and her heart started racing.When she reached for her wine glass, she brushed his arm, heard him take a deep breath, and bit her lip again.

"Guys, I'm going to the bar. I'm not going to leave anything out here, and I saw someone over there with a really tasty cocktail."

Arthur stood up grinning, of course he had noticed the subtle touches of the two and wanted to give them a little time alone.Before Sidney could say anything, Arthur turned and left. 

His brother had red cheeks and he knew exactly why. 

—- ~ —- 

After Arthur left, they sat in a slightly tense silence.It wasn't uncomfortable, it was just charged.

Sidney watched some people start dancing to the soft music. Would she dance with him too?How would it be if he felt her body so close to his again?He longed to hold her, inhale her smell, and wondered if she felt the same.

He hesitantly glanced at her, she looked really beautiful, her eyes also followed the dancers, so he got up after a while and held out his hand to her.

"Would you like to dance?"

Charlotte looked up in surprise and shook her head slightly."To dance?I do not know ...".

She loved to dance, but with him?She was so nervous, the furtive touch between them made her body tingle, and the thought of getting so close to him was almost too much.

"Come on ...," he murmured softly, his dark voice sent wild shivers down her back, his eyes asked her and she didn't break eye contact as she slowly put her hand in his.

Confused, she noticed his jaw muscles twitch when her fingers touched him, and she wondered what it meant.But then he closed his fingers around hers, he held her tight and gently pulled her to her feet.

His smile was slightly embarrassed, he looked away from her as he led her to the dance floor, and just as they reached the floor, the music changed to a slow waltz. 

Sidney was annoyed with himself because his body reacted so strongly to her.He could hardly hide the shiver that ran through him when she touched him and had to tense every muscle.It felt so good, he subconsciously stroked his thumb over her ankles and his heart fluttered as the music changed.

Sidney gently led her a little further back, then turned and looked at her as he slowly pulled her towards him.

Charlotte trembled when she felt his big hand on her waist, the heat coming from him was amazing and she slowly raised her arm to put her hand on his shoulder.His muscles were rock hard and tense under her fingers, she looked into his eyes and held her breath as he pulled her even closer. 

He was a good dancer, Charlotte followed his every move and let herself be guided.She was glad for his firm grip as her legs wiggled.Slowly, she let her fingers slide further up his neck, enjoying the way his eyes closed for a brief moment before looking into her eyes more intense than before.

It was like there was only the two of them, everyone else disappeared from the room.It was absolutely impossible to look away from her, her cheeks were slightly flushed, her full lips were so tempting, and Sidney needed everything not to bend down.

God, he was getting closer.How she would have loved to kiss him, his lips were so close to hers, but Charlotte forced herself to think of all the things she had heard about him.

But there was nothing.

Her head was completely empty, all she could think was how good he smelled and how incredible his body felt. 

She bit her lower lip uncertainly when the music ended because she didn't want to step away from him. 

"Don't do that," Sindey whispered hoarsely. 

Did she even know what she was doing to him?Apparently not, because she looked at him in confusion.

"What?" She breathed, her fingertips tingling on the back of his neck.

"That ...," Sidney slowly lifted his hand from her waist and ran his thumb over her lower lip."It drives me crazy when you bite your lip."

His eyes were almost black - shining with desire and longing - Charlotte didn't know how to react and panicked.

She let him go and stepped back, saw the disappointment on his face and hurriedly left the dance floor and left the room.

He stood frozen for a moment.Again she ran away from him, it made him angry, especially since he had seen how she had looked at him.

He couldn't be so wrong and ran after her despite the strange looks.

She hadn't got very far, she took quick steps through the hall in the direction of the stairs.Since his legs were longer than hers, he easily caught up with her, took her arm and pushed her into a dark side corridor, but then released her immediately. 

"I think that's the third time you run from me ...," he growled softly and saw how quickly she breathed.

He was too close, how could she resist him when he was that close?

Looking for support, Charlotte leaned her back against the wall, but quickly realized that it was a mistake.

Sidney followed, leaning against the wall with one hand next to her head and gently pushing his body into hers.She trembled, trying to push past him to get out between him and the wall, but Sidney was faster and stopped her with his second hand, which he pressed against the wall on the other side of her head.

Now she was trapped, his hot body was getting closer and Charlotte thought her heart was going to explode.

"Why are you running away from me?" He murmured, and the uncertain tone of his voice made her look up.

He looked at her with his lips slightly open and his eyes narrowed, his warm breath brushing her face and moving her curls. 

Charlotte could not hold back, he was so beautiful, he smelled so incredibly good, and his closeness overwhelmed her.

Slowly, she raised her hands, wrapped his cheeks in her palms, and gasped when she felt his stubble.Sidney swallowed, didn't move, and let her take the lead. 

But his eyes closed as she rose on her tiptoes and put her lips gently on his.

They both moaned softly at the touch, the feeling was beautiful. As she sipped gently on his lower lip, her right hand slipped on his neck and she felt his racing pulse. His mouth opened, his lips brushed hers gently, just a hint of a touch, but when Charlotte reached into his curls to pull him closer, he lost control.

He moved, his left hand gripping her head while his other fingers closed around her waist.At the same time he devoured her mouth, opened her lips with his tongue and dipped in - searching for her taste.

God, Charlotte felt like she was burning.She met his hungry tongue with her own, wrapped around him, and pushed him back into his mouth to enjoy his taste.Her skin burned where he touched her and when he gently pulled her hair to tilt her head to the side, she did not resist.

Sidney deepened the kiss, excited that she was returning to his passion, and slipped his hand over her dress to pull her slim body closer to his.

He was aware that she had to feel him hard on her and her panting confirmed that. But as she was panting in his mouth, it only made him more aroused, the sound was so sexy and he moved to raise her further up the wall and press his hard bump against her soft center.

"Sidney ...".She whimpered, not realizing that her hand had found its way under his vest and slid forward over his side, where his abs twitched.

Now she devoured him, sucked his lip into her mouth and bent against him.

If he didn't want to risk taking her here and now, he should stop soon.

That thought made Sidney withdraw a little, even though it was damn hard.But he wasn't ready to release her mouth yet, so he gently slid his tongue over the inside of her lower lip.

Charlotte legs gave way.Why was this man's touch so sensual?

She clung to him, returned his touch with her tongue, and was pleased to see that it also made him sway slightly.The growl coming from his chest was more than sexy, his hips moved again and Charlotte thought that the bulge in his pants was incredibly big.

Breathing heavily, Sidney leaned his forehead against hers and put his palm on her cheek. He swallowed, her eyes were still closed, her lips were flushed from his kisses, and he leaned forward again to touch them tenderly with his own. 

He knew exactly what he wanted - something that had been in his head for weeks.

"Come home with me."

It was just a barely audible croak, his voice rough, and when Charlotte opened her eyes, her heart almost stopped.

The dark, intense look, the pleading expression on his face and his swollen, red lips made him even more beautiful and Charlotte swallowed. 

"Please Charlotte, come to my apartment with me."


	16. Time alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your comments are overwhelming, i love reading them all!
> 
> This chapter is definitely rated E and should never be read at work.  
> As always, I am very nervous and hope you like it.

She had closed her eyes and leaned back in the car seat to calm down, but her heart just didn't stop beating too fast.

When Sidney slipped behind the wheel, Charlotte had seen his hands shake and it only intensified the burning sensation in her body.

_Yes_!That was all she had said, but it was enough.

They had said goodbye almost hurriedly, Arthur had grinned, but a warning look from Sidney had made him say nothing.

When they left the historic building, Sidney held her hand and didn't let go until he helped her into his car.

Now he was driving through town too quickly, but Charlotte said nothing.They hadn't said a word yet, and she wouldn't have known what to say.

She had never done anything like this, had never gone to his apartment with a man, and was more nervous than ever in her life.It was only when he drove off the main street and slowed down in an older-looking part of the city that she looked out the window again.

The houses here were beautiful, old, but not as classy as Bedford Place.

It was nice and Charlotte held her breath as Sidney pulled the car to a halt in front of a of a house with two floors.

Sidney had probably never been so nervous and tense in his life. The high pace hadn't calmed him down and he didn't dare look at Charlotte.So he got out, walked around his Porsche and opened her door.

With wide eyes she looked around, stopped uncertain as she didn't know where to go, but then felt his warm hand on her waist again. 

Without a word, he led her gently to his front door, but he didn't miss how hard she breathed. He lived on the second floor of the 19th century house.It had an outside staircase, he went up a step behind her and admired her backside, her shapely legs and her cute butt. It took a lot to keep his hand from sliding over the perfect curve, but he held back.

Still without a word, he unlocked his apartment, opened the door and let her enter first. They still hadn't looked at each other, but when she stepped past him to slowly cross the threshold into his apartment, she looked up at him.

His eyes were soft, almost loving, he was watching her with his dark eyes and smiled slightly.Charlotte returned his smile, stepped into the darkness of his apartment, and took a deep breath.

His smell was pervasive here, her whole body tingled and her heart skidded a beat as Sidney closed the door behind them.

Now they were completely alone, only he and she.

She was here, in his home, in the only place where he was completely himself.His breath was heavy and laborious, his pulse was racing, and Sidney swallowed hard before turning on the light. 

Charlotte inhaled sharply.

"Oh ... wow," she whispered impressed and took a few steps into the room.

The left and right walls had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that were completely full.In the right corner was a large wooden desk, right in front of one of the large windows.Opposite was a cozy looking couch, a small table and in the corner next to the front door was a large dining table.On the left it went through a passage into the kitchen, she could see the kitchenette, while on the other side a leaning door probably led to his bedroom.

It was beautiful, incredibly cozy, and Charlotte immediately felt comfortable.

She now understood his comment that he could never live in Bedford Place because his apartment was completely different.It reminded her of his Café, with all the wood and warm, dark colors.

There were several large books bound in old leather on the shelf behind his desk, and Charlotte slowly went to the corner to see what kind of books they were. 

In order not to scare her, Sidney had leaned against his door and watched her as she looked around his apartment.He wasn't used to having someone in his rooms and her curious look had made him nervous.

Of course she would find the shelf with his most valuable books right away and Sidney smiled as she walked hesitantly towards it. But then she looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes shining and her lips slightly open, and Sidney was lost.

He assumed that she had no idea what she was doing - how seductive and sexy she was, but that didn't change her effect on him.

There it was, _Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales._

She raised her hand in awe to stroke the back of the book when she heard the sound of bare feet behind her.

Goosebumps spread all over her body, she could almost feel him getting closer, and then she felt the heat of his body on her back.

To distract herself from his closeness, she feverishly wondered what she could say.

"It is very beautiful here ...".Even she could hear her voice trembling, and she stopped when his hot breath hit her neck.

"Mmhh," muttered Sidney absently.There was a birthmark on her right shoulder blade, which could be seen from the neckline of her dress.He hadn't noticed it before, since her hair had always covered her back, but now the strands were over her left shoulder, exposing her skin to his eyes.

It was too tempting, he saw goose bumps on her body and lowered his head.She was trembling, breathing in on purpose before his lips dropped to the beauty mark. 

Charlotte groaned, her hands automatically grabbed the shelf to hold on and her eyes closed.

Sidney’s lips on her bare skin were soft, with an open mouth he kissed her shoulder blade, at the same time his arms were around her waist and his big hands were on her stomach.

She felt as if she wasn't wearing a dress at all because she could feel the heat of his fingers over her navel.

Her skin tasted sweet, Sidney slowly let his lips slide to the back of her neck, then to the soft skin under her ear until he found her pulse point on her neck.He carefully sucked her skin into his mouth, Charlotte leaned against him more and more, she breathed so hard that her breasts rose and fell seductively.

Sidney had an unbelievable look directly into her neckline, his hands moved by themselves and wandered up over the thin fabric of her dress, only very slightly did he slide his fingers over the curves of her breasts and then went over the sleeves of her dress to her shoulders.

His lips were still sliding over her skin, behind her ear and back to her shoulder blade.When he slowly put his fingers at her shoulder under her dress and pushed the sleeve down a little, a black lace bra straps came to the fore and Sidney groaned.

What was she doing to him?

With his mouth open, he kissed the lace fabric hot and wet. He had to hold Charlotte tightly since she swayed as he slid his tongue over the strap. 

"Sidney," she whispered breathlessly, turned in his arms and looked at him.

His eyes have never been so dark and expressive, he came closer, his eyes fell on her lips, but before he touched her, he hesitated. He wanted her to move, he wanted to be sure that she wanted him to do it, so he waited.With a quick glance, he noticed that her eyes were also on his lips, her mouth opened, her breath hit his face and then she rose on her tiptoes.

Her kiss was full of passion, her fingers gripped his hair and pulled him closer.

With a groan, Sidney pushed her back, released her hip with one hand to support himself against his bookshelf, and heard her whimper as her back hit the wood.He gently moved on, pressing his body into hers as his tongue wrapped around hers and entered her mouth. 

Charlotte's hands slipped over the back of his neck to his shoulders, she felt his muscles again and the memory of his bare skin beneath her fingertips hit her.She wanted to feel him again, let her hands slide to his chest and reached for the buttons on his vest.

Her fingers trembled so much that she was glad that the vest only had three buttons.Sidney’s eyes met hers as she pushed the garment over his shoulders. He only pulled back so that she could take it off and watched her as she reached for the buttons on his shirt.She only opened the top two, then became too impatient and pulled the fabric out of his waistband.

He laughed shakily, helped her, and slipped the shirt over his head. 

"Oh ...".Charlotte admirably put both hands on his bare chest, his skin twitched, he was incredibly hot and insanely sexy.

Slowly she stroked his upper body, he was tanned, his muscles were clearly visible and her fingers found the dark hair trace that she wanted to touch so much yesterday.

While looking at his body, she bit her lower lip again.Only when she heard the dark growl that vibrated through her hands on his chest in her body did she understand what she was doing and looked up at him.Her teeth were still digging into the soft pink flesh, he was unable to look away and leaning forward to lick his tongue over the area.

Charlotte chuckled, then bit his lower lip and was surprised at his intense reaction. 

His hands fell down, slid over her thighs under her dress until he reached her panties, and gripped her butt covered with lace.

As if she didn't weigh anything, he lifted her up, her legs instinctively bend around his waist and his - probably still - hard cock pressed directly against her sensitive middle.

She groaned in his mouth, made him wild and threw her head back.With wet kisses, Sidney slid over her neck, he held her with his hips and pushed his hands up under her dress.

Impatient but gentle, he kept pulling her dress up, pressing her arms over her head to take it off, and threw the fabric behind them on the floor. 

Charlotte suddenly became nervous, but when his eyes slid over her half-naked body, she forgot her insecurity.It was pure desire and longing with which he looked at her and her body reacted by itself.

Her legs pulled him even closer, her back arched so that her bare belly could touch his and her fingers pulled his mouth to her lips.

She was beautiful, was all Sidney could think of, but before he could said a word, her mouth devoured him.

His fingers slid over her sides, her ribs, and over the top of her panties.God, he had to take a closer look at these underwear, he held onto her and detached himself from the shelf.

Without breaking their kiss, he walked blindly through his apartment towards his bedroom.

The room was lit only by the street lights in front of the windows and the moon, but it was enough.

With her narrow, small body in his arms, he climbed onto his big bed, sat down and held her tight on his lap.

Charlotte had no time to look around the room, she moved against the more than huge and hard place in his pants and held on to him.

She shivered as his fingers reached into her hair, he kissed her lips gently and looked at her with slightly blurred eyes.

"Charlotte," he murmured, his fingers slowly sliding down and she trembled.

"Yes?" She replied, unable to find her voice and groaned when he kissed her again.His hands slid deeper and deeper, Charlotte felt like he was burning her and pulled her legs tight around his waist. 

Sidney slid over her shoulders, over the thin straps, and further down. He felt her bra under his fingers, felt the thin black lace fabric and, with a choked moan, leaned her back until he could press his lips directly between her breasts in a wet kiss with his mouth open. Shivering, Charlotte bent her head back and moaned softly as she felt his tongue on her skin.

Full of desire, Sidney licked the exposed skin of her soft breasts, half on the edge of her bra, and she heard him growl.

Slowly he raised his head, his eyes wandered admiringly over her half-naked torso, her ribs, her slim belly and finally he got stuck to her beautiful breasts.

His lips opened slightly, he breathed heavily as he watched in fascination as her hard nipples showed through the thin fabric.

He could see everything, her rosy nipples, the darker rings around them and the velvety skin of her round and full breasts.Charlotte breathed as hard as he did, she watched him look longingly at her, but had to close her eyes as Sidney slowly lowered his head and kissed the soft skin just above her breasts.

She was so seductive, so sexy, here in his bed and all he wanted was to feel her.

"You are really beautiful, Charlotte," he whispered in a husky voice and stroked his beard over her sensitive skin.

Charlotte pulled his hair until he raised his head to her, she kissed him gently and shivered under his hands.She felt his thumbs running across her ribs, then touched the sides of her breasts, almost reached her nipples and they both groaned.

"Please Sidney ...".Charlotte could only whisper, he drove her crazy, she wanted him to touch her, touch her properly, his tender, hesitant fingers made her want him like never before and when their eyes met, Sidney knew what she was feeling.

He felt exactly the same.

His eyes grew even darker, the tenderness with which he looked at her was overwhelming and he hugged her tight.

"God, Charlotte ..., I want to touch you so much," he whispered before kissing her passionately, searching for her tongue with his and stroking her. Charlotte's arms closed around his shoulders, she returned his deep kiss and gasped as he moved slowly and placed her gently on her back.

He carefully pushed his body onto hers, supported himself with one hand so as not to burden her too much with his weight, and reluctantly broke away from her mouth to straighten himself up.

They looked at each other as he knelt over her, but then his eyes dropped to his hands. He spread his fingers around her ribs and slowly pushed his palms down until he reached the waistband of her panties.

Charlotte trembled under his more than intense gaze, after all she was only in her underwear in his bed. 

"Why do you wear such underwear to a book fair?"

He was almost choking, his eyes hung on the black lace panties, they were just as transparent as her bra, they really didn't hide anything and his fingers glided very gently over the lace waistband.

Charlotte watched him and laughed softly, she had no answer to his question. 

"I dont know."

His eyes burned, the way he looked at her was indescribable, but she groaned and bent her head back when Sidney lowered his head and gently slid his lips over her stomach.

He supported himself with one arm and began to touch her carefully with the other hand.

Shivering, Charlotte writhed, his lips wiped her ribs and belly with wet kisses, his beard made her skin twitch, and his hand, which slid over her hips to her thigh, was nothing but beautiful.

Unable to resist, he moved his hand over her thigh until he found the thin lace material again and let his fingertips slide gently over her panties.

First high up on the waistband, then he went deeper and had to follow his fingers with his eyes.

Groaning, he noticed that the fabric was damp and slowly pulled his knuckles over her closed folds.

Charlotte gasped his name, grabbed the hand he was supporting himself to hold on to him, and arched her back in need.

What did he do to her? She had never felt so sexy, but the way he looked at her body full of lust was almost too much.This was completely different from what she had experienced before, and her inexperience made it much more exciting.

Then Charlotte felt his hot breath as he pressed his lips to the edge of her panties, right at the transition to her leg, now his thumb was on her folds, only lightly stroking her, but when she moaned loudly, he looked up at her.

"God, you are so seductive," gasped Sidney, shoving his flat hand up over her belly to her breasts, where she longed for him, followed with his tongue and finally she could feel his large, warm palm close around her breast.

Moaning and with her eyes closed, she reached into his sheets to hold on, his mouth came closer to his hand, he pressed his lips to the bridge of her bra and, breathing heavily, lifted his head to look at her.

"Do you know how good your breast feels in my hand?" Trembling, Sidney caressed her breast, touched her hard nipple with his fingers, the fabric was so thin that he felt the heat of her skin, her breast was soft and beautiful and again she could feel him pressing his lips with a wet kiss into the valley between the two hills."Do you know how insanely sexy you are?"

"Sidney ...".Mumbling, Charlotte reached into his short curls again, but when she felt his tongue, her breath caught. 

With a soft moan, Sidney opened his mouth and licked her hard nipple, the moisture made the lace of her bra even more transparent, her nipple even harder and full of desire, he looked at her briefly, could not avert his eyes and blew hot over her sensitive skin.

She wrapped one leg around his hips, pulled him close and completely lost control when she felt Sidney close his lips around her nipple and suck it into his mouth with the fabric of her bra.

The noises that escaped her made him painfully hard, his fingers on the other side hungrily pulled the thin lace to the side until he could take her bare breast in his hand and held it gently.

"I dreamed of this all the time ....."

Again Charlotte felt his tongue, the damp, slow patterns that he painted on the lace covered her entire breast. Again and again he tried to put as much of her soft skin in his mouth as possible, at the same time his hand lifted her other breast out of her bra and Charlotte couldn't say a word. 

Sidney raised his head, let his gaze wander to his hand, which gently lifted her breast towards his face, and whispered her name softly before he put her bare nipple between his lips.

He sucked gently first, then harder, licking his tongue over her nipple in his mouth while he put his fingers under her body.

He quickly opened the clasp, gently pulled the strap over her arm, freed her from her bra and raised his head again when she lay in front of him with her breasts bare.

He couldn't help it, put his full weight on her body and grabbed her breasts with both hands.Groaning, Charlotte arched her torso up, it felt incredible to be touched by him, he sucked at her, played with her nipples, took his time to explore her, but when Charlotte pulled his hair, he moved himself up with his mouth open on her skin.

He came closer and closer to her lips, kissed her gently and stroked her with his beard.

"What are you doing to me?" Whispered Charlotte, eyes half open, trying to catch his mouth and whimpering as he licked her lips with his tongue.

"I'll show you how much I want you ...".

With a choked moan, Sidney grabbed her mouth, kissed her deeply, and reached for her hand.

His tongue played with hers, their lips moved hungrily against each other, but when Sidney ran his fingers over her breasts and down to grab her thigh, Charlotte had to let go of him.His hardness was pressed against her and it took her breath away. 

Sidney slowly slid his fingers between her legs from behind, meanwhile her panties were so wet that he could feel the moisture on his fingertips and growling he started to move down over her body again.

Again he sucked on her nipples, kissed her breasts gently and then let go of her hand to push further down.With his mouth open and his fingers spread, he stroked her ribs, her slim stomach and dipped his tongue into her navel.He carefully placed his body between her open legs, he did not want to hurt her and finally reached the top of her panties with his mouth.

Charlotte shivered with anticipation, no one had ever touched her this way before and she could only whisper.

"Sidney, ...," gasping, she broke off as his hand lay gently on the lace. The warmth of his palm hit her, she knew her panties were wet, she squirmed, but then he lowered his head and made all thoughts disappear from her mind.

Sidney had looked at her, the damp fabric clearly showed her now slightly opened folds, he saw more than before and smiled as she wriggled under his hand.She was so subconsciously sexy and very gently he put his lips directly on the wet area.

He groaned. He could taste her, smell her.

Slowly he let his lips slide over her panties, pulled his tongue over her stomach to her hip bone and pushed his fingers deeper.

Gently, he stroked down her middle, opened her slit slightly under her panties with his fingertips and heard her moan again and again.

Now he could see her pearl, it glittered under the thin fabric of the lace. At first he only kissed her gently, but when Charlotte lifted her hips up, he opened his lips to lick her sensitive spot with his tongue.

Charlotte groaned loudly at the touch of his tongue and felt him put a hand under her to hold her butt.As if by itself, she raised her left leg, spread it to the side to open further for him, and gasped as he slipped the tip of his tongue through her covered slit.

Sidney could hardly stand it anymore, but it was exhilarating to see how Charlotte trusted him so completely and enjoyed his touch.

He gently sucked her folds into his mouth with the lace fabric between, licked her and could feel her getting even more wet.

With his free hand he slid over her thigh, her skin twitched at his touch, slowly he came closer to her panties and while he gently kissed her skin under the fabric, just above her middle, his fingertips slid under the thin lace sideways. 

His fingers began to gently stroke her bare folds, she was insanely wet. Charlotte groaned suffocatedly as he slid two fingers into her slit and spread her folds further.

Now she was completely open, Sidney had to look at her, saw her shiny red, sensitive skin through the dark lace and put his lips on her exposed pearl.

She screamed his name as he sucked it hard in his mouth, wishing his lips were right on her skin without the fabric of her panties, but couldn't say a word except his name.

"Sidney ...".

He knew what she wanted because he wanted exactly the same thing, he carefully lifted her panties from her, pushed them aside with his fingers and gently laid his lips on her bare, sensitive folds.

Immediately she rose up again, hearing the rough, suffocating sound that escaped him and gasped as Sidney straightened up.

Charlotte shivered as he shoved his thumbs into the waistband of her panties, raised her hips so he could pull the fabric down, and met his eyes for a moment.

They glowed black with emotion and when she lay naked in front of him, Sidney took a shuddering breath and swallowed hard.

"You're naked in my bed," he whispered hoarsely, leaning forward and supporting himself with one hand to kiss her lips. "You have no idea how many times I've thought about it since you pushed that damn stick into my ribs."

Barely able to respond, Charlotte returned his kiss, but she trembled under his hand, which moved over her body.As his fingers slid down her thigh and gently pushed her leg further out, Charlotte groaned and bent her head back.

She closed her eyes and whimpered as Sidney crawled down again.

She could hardly believe that he had longed for her for so long.A man like him!

But here he was, kissing her breasts with lust, sucking hard on her nipples, before he slid his upper body between her thighs.

He watched her get more wet when he licked his tongue just gently and briefly against her pearl.

"Oh ..., Sidney," she whimpered again, she felt his hot breath on her most sensitive skin, the thought that he was looking at her with his dark eyes was insanely arousing, as was the gentle touch of his tongue.She wanted more, knew she was begging and groaned as he gently slipped his fingertip into her opening.

He dipped in only very slightly, first with one, then with a second fingertip, she was hot and wet, raised her hips up as if she wanted him to push his fingers deeper, but he moved with her.

Her smell, her soft skin was tempting, he lowered his head again, placed a gentle kiss directly on her folds, and then closed his lips around her pearl.

"Oh fuck ...," she moaned loudly as Sidney sucked gently, but she screamed as he pushed his two fingers all the way inside of her.But he annoyed her, released her pearl with a gentle sip from his mouth and blew against her folds again.

He guessed after what she said last night that she was pretty inexperienced, and the thought that he might be the first man to touch her like that was almost more than he could take.He gently pulled his fingers out of her warmth, slid through her folds to her pearl, spreading her moisture.Charlotte frantically pulled on his sheet and smiling he rubbed his stubble chin over her smoothly shaved skin.

"Do you know how wet you are?" He whispered in a harsh voice, dipped his tongue lightly into her opening again and heard her longing moan."You feel so good and you taste incredible, Charlotte."

"I want to feel you, Sidney ...". Charlotte whispered breathlessly, she wanted him, the lust and desire for him made her tremble - she had never felt anything like that before.

Without really touching her, he pushed her to the edge, but none of this was comparable to what he did to her when he finally gave in and lowered his head. 

At first she felt only the tip of his tongue, which licked against her pearl again and pressed against it.Then she felt his fingers playing on her opening, and then he finally slid his tongue through her slit.

The first only very slightly, but it made her tremble and she moaned.The second time he painted gentle patterns with the tip of his tongue, demanding circling around her pearl until it started to pulsate and the third time it was his flat tongue that he pulled through her slit.

The sensations were indescribable, the feeling of him so intense, his lips closed again around her pearl, he sucked her into his mouth, while his fingertips caressed her folds.

Charlotte could barely breathe, but she groaned his name loudly when she suddenly felt his tongue at her entrance instead of his fingers.

Hot and demanding, he pushed his tongue into her opening, again and again, at the same time his thumb slid through her slit and rubbed her pearl.Desperate, Charlotte reached over her head with one hand to hold on, with the other she clung to him.The knot of pure lust inside her was threatening to explode, but continued to build up as his lips began to suck at her opening. She repeatedly felt his demanding tongue and finally he enternd her with three fingers.

The most incredible noises escaped her lips and Sidney was proud to be able to give her such strong emotions.Humming, he reached her pearl again and sucked hard, while his fingers moved slowly but demanding in her wet opening.

Charlotte couldn't think anymore, she exploded, her pearl pulsed in Sidney's mouth and her inner muscles closed around his fingers when she came.

The waves of her climax were huge, they beat over her and all the time she felt his finger and tongue that made her shiver again and again. 

To reassure her, Sidney arched his fingers inside her, stopped his demanding movements, and just gently stroked her twitching inner muscles.

He gave her time, painted soft patterns on her belly, ribs and breasts with his free hand and enjoyed how she breathed his name over and over again.Apparently it was all she could say.

When her body relaxed, her fingers grabbed into his curls.She pulled gently, but he didn't move.

Very slowly he pulled his fingers out of her warmth, heard her whimper and put his lips directly on her opening to kiss her gently.Only then did he let her fingers pull him upward, kissing her skin gently and licking through the valley between her breasts.

Relentlessly, she continued to pull him until he was completely on top of her and their eyes met.

"I've never felt anything like that," breathed Charlotte.

Her apparent inexperience almost made him lose control, as did her hands, which slid over his bare back and gripped his butt.

Moaning, he devoured her mouth, kissed her admiringly, and let his tongue slide into her mouth.She returned the same way, played to dive between his lips and rubbing her hips on his insanely hard cock.

It had to kill him, the way he returned the movement of her hips showed her how hard he was trying to hold back and suddenly the desire to see him and touch him was overwhelming. 

Sidney felt her hands press against his shoulders until he dropped onto his back with a low moan.

Carefully, she sat directly on the hard bulge in his pants, straightened up and looked at him.

"May ..., may I look at you?" The soft question made Sidney shiver, she gently ran her flat hands over his chest and felt his racing heartbeat.

Sidney held her thighs, the sight of her sitting naked on top of him made him tremble, his whole body ached for her and he breathed roughly.

"Undress me ..." he whispered softly.

He saw Charlotte bite her lip before his eyes closed as she lowered her head and pressed her lips to his skin.Since he'd just come out of the shower with the towel yesterday, she wondered what it would feel like to kiss him there.

She kissed his neck, chest, ribs and twitching abs very gently.Slowly she let her tongue circle around his navel, she heard him growl and pushed down over his legs.

With her soft lips, she kissed his skin just above the waistband of his pants, then reached for his belt with trembling fingers. 

He groaned, reached into his sheets, and opened his eyes to watch her.

She stared at her hands, which opened his belt, then the button of his pants and slowly reached for the zipper.

Sidney shivered as she slowly pulled the zipper down, running her fingertips across the black fabric of his boxers and touching him through the fabric.

Unable to look away from him, she pulled on his pants, Sidney raised his hips so she could push them down and kicked the pants away.

Now it was she who devoured him with her eyes, his boxers could hardly hide his arousal, his length was clearly visible under the clothing and Charlotte trembled.

He seemed huge to her, she had to touch him, shoved her hands over his thighs and up his length, causing his cock to jerk towards her and slide out of his Boxers.

She impatiently pulled on his underware, undressed him until he was naked and trembling in front of her and sat between his legs.Sidney could see that she was intrigued and a little incredulous, but when he felt her fingers on him, his eyes closed.

She gently slid her hand over his long and thick cock, his skin was velvety and hot, he felt incredibly good and twitched against her fingers.

"Oh ... Sidney, you are so beautiful," breathed Charlotte, she heard him gasp, met his eyes for a brief moment, but then wandered over his beautiful, naked body again and let her hands slide over his skin.

"I like the cute hills on your hip." Smiling, she leaned down, pressed her lips to his hip bones, but then her eyes got stuck in his middle again.

Hesitantly, she ran her fingertips over the dark blue veins that ran along his length. Sidney tugged on his sheets to prevent himself from reaching for her. What she did only made him harder and made him almost insane.

She wanted to taste him too, bowed her head, but when her breath hit him, he stopped her.

"Charlotte, don't ...". Sidney groaned desperately.

He couldn't stand it, sat up and pulled her head up to his face.Charlotte looked at him uncertainly, but the look in his eyes showed that he liked her touch.

"You're killing me, do you know how good that feels?" Sidney shoved his tongue into her mouth and grabbed her butt with both hands to pull her closer.

He kissed her passionately, turned her over, put her on his bed, and laid his body on hers. 

"I want you so much, Charlotte." 

His fingers wrapped around her thigh and pulled her leg over his waist.Charlotte could feel him, lifted her hips up, but Sidney pulled back, growling.

"You're so wet an hot," whispered Sidney, kissing her and enjoying the moisture on the tip of his cock.

Charlotte whimpered, her hands slid over his broad shoulders and her body lifted in search of his."Just because of you...".

Sidney looked at her and moved so that his tip pressed lightly against her opening and waited a moment. With their eyes locked he entered her carefully, but with a deep thrust.

Her loud moan mingled with his, her hands pressed him against her and they both gasped roughly.They kissed trembling, but Sidney didn't move.

"I don't want to hurt you, Charlotte, you're so tight," he breathed shakily, kissed her and licked her lip, but could not stand it as she rose against him and almost completely withdrew himself from her inside, only to thrust hard into her again. 

She screamed, shouted his name and let him growl.

"You don't hurt me. I ..., I want you, Sidney."

He began to move slowly and gently, because of his enormous size and the thick veins he rubbed against her walls, his length completely filled her and he loved her tenderly and passionately.

Charlotte was incredibly close to the edge after only a few minutes, she longingly lifted herself against his long and deep thrusts, again and again he hit the right place inside of her and when his veins started to pulsate, she could not stand it any longer.

Her inside exploded and she came undone, cramped with the waves of pleasure and held on to him desperately.

He needed everything not to lose control at the sight of her and the feeling of her hot and humid walls surrounding his cock. He tensed every muscle in his body and watched her.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, feeling her fingers tighten in his locks and kissed her neck.

It took a long time, but when she calmed down a little, her walls loosened around him and she looked at him with her eyes half open, he couldn't help it.

Panting, he straightened up a little and gripped her hip with one hand to hold her tight.He carefully slid his hand between their bodys to gently stroke their connection.

"Sidney," Charlotte whimpered breathlessly, looked at him in fascination and surprise, but when he started to move, she bent her head back and closed her eyes. 

Hard and deep, but slowly he pushed himself into her, pressed his fingers to the place where he kept entering her and got lost.

This was different from anything he had ever experienced.Charlotte moved with him and he sank onto her.His lips searched for hers, he kissed her and took her hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. 

Charlotte's heart was racing and his hard thrusts drove her to another climax.

His lips never parted from hers, she moaned in his mouth and Sidney could hardly stand it.He felt her walls close around him again, heard her come with a hoarse cry of his name, and thrust deeply into her one last time before he groaned and buried his head on her neck.

He came undone and pulsed inside her.

Charlotte heard him murmur her name, his mouth pressed against her neck and his whole body started to tremble.

She pulled his body completely onto hers, began to stroke him loveingly and gently lifted his head. 

"I've never felt so close to anyone ...". Charlotte whispered in a choked voice and stroked his beautiful face. 

With his eyes closed and still panting, Sidney found her lips and kissed her long and tenderly.

Full of love ....

While they were kissing, he wrapped his arms around her, rolled over and held her tightly against him so that he stayed inside of her.

"Neither did I ...," he whispered after a while in response to her lips.

She soon fell asleep with her head on his chest, but Sidney lay awake for a long time. He felt a strong need to protect her, to keep her safe against his body.

She was the new center of his life and he knew with certainty that it was pure love that he felt for her.


	17. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you, thank you, thank you for your comments!  
> I'm so sorry I'm so late, unfortunately I didn't make it yesterday.  
> I wrote most of the chapters a while ago, but here was a gap, so ...  
> Oh, this is definitely also rated E - I hope you like it

It was still dark when Sidney woke up.

Her warm body was pressed close to his, they lay facing each orher on their sides, her face was buried on his neck and her hand was on his hip.

If it were up to him, he could stay like this forever, even though his right arm was numb since it was still under her head.But his other hand was on her thigh, she had put her leg between his and now Sidney slowly let his fingers slide up.

She moved slightly and muttered something incomprehensible, slowly he raised his hand to brush a few strands of hair from her face and met her eyes, which were still slightly cloudy from sleep.

"Morning ..," he murmured with a sweet, slightly uncertain smile on his face.

He looked really cute, his hair was disheveled, his eyes sleepy and his voice so dark that it made her body tingle.

Slightly embarrassed, Charlotte pressed closer to him, she felt his warm hand on her lower back - he conveniently pulled her closer and she shivered.

"Morning ..".

It was barely audible as she muttered the words against his chest and Sidney chuckled.

He gently stroked her bare skin, turned on his back and pulled her with him.He shoved his numb hand into her wild locks, held her head, and then sighed deeply.

Charlotte looked up at him, worried.

"Is everything ok?"

Sidney had closed his eyes, his mouth angles were slightly raised and he seemed completely relaxed.At her worried voice, he opened one of his eyes to look at her.

"Yes ... I think I've never slept so well."

They looked at each other for a long time without saying a word. Their naked, warm bodies were close together and the attraction was enormous. 

Sidney’s fingers slowly moved up and down on her back, he painted small patterns and was happy about her goose bumps. Charlotte had put her cheek back on his chest, heard his regular heartbeat, and would have loved to stay there.But she couldn't.

"May ..., may I use your bathroom?" She looked at him, smiled shyly and had to resist the urge to lie on top of him.

"Of course." Sidney laughed and pointed to a door that led from his bedroom to the bathroom.

She hesitated for a moment before slowly pulling away from him.Sidney sat up and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Would you like a coffee?Breakfast?” His voice was rough, it sounded very sexy and Charlotte stayed wrapped in his sheet on the edge of the bed.

"You're a coffee junki, are you?" She laughed as he raised his hands defeated and bowed his head.

"Yes I am. I love coffee. I will make you a coffee with my own beans and I promise that you have never had anything like that."

Charlotte wanted to get up, still laughing, when Sidney called out to her in a low voice.

"Charlotte ...?"

She turned to face him and her heart started racing.He had leaned over the bed to her side, looked up at her with dark eyes and slightly opened lips, and had raised his hand.Shivering, Charlotte knelt back on the mattress and swallowed as his hand reached her cheek.

He gently pulled her closer, looked at her all the time until his lips were on hers.Then his eyes closed, the sensual expression on her face was too seductive and he kissed her tenderly. 

It was a long, sweet and gentle kiss that made Charlotte's legs weak. His lips were full and soft and moved gently over hers. Seeking for hold, she reached into his hair, returned his kiss, and whimpered softly.

When he released her she swayed slightly, Sidney pressed his forehead against hers for a moment before pulling back.

"Go to the bathroom, I'll make you a coffee."

Charlotte disappeared through the door and Sidney slowly got up.He hadn't expected the weekend to go like this, but being here with her was more than he'd ever hoped for.

He found his pants, shuffled into the kitchen, and started making coffee.He always had a supply of his own grown beans at home, freshly ground them with an old, Antiguan coffee grinder and brewed them with hot water. The smell was aromatic, instantly invigorated, and humming softly, he started making breakfast.

Charlotte heard him hum, smiled to herself, and searched for her panties.Since she had the opportunity, she looked around carefully in his bedroom.The bed was large with dark sheets, in front of the window was a comfortable armchair with a reading lamp, there was a large closet and a chest of drawers.

The walls were painted in white and a dark gray, the atmosphere in this room was very especially and Charlotte took a deep breath.

She had to admit that she loved his smell.

She went barefoot into the kitchen, leaned against the door and watched him.

He was standing bare-chested and with bare feet at the stove, two steaming cups of coffee were on his countertop and he was mixing a few eggs in a bowl.

When he heard her behind him, he turned his head over his shoulder and she could see every muscle in his body tensing. 

Charlotte was wearing nothing but his shirt, which she must have found in the living room and her lace panties, she bit her lip shyly again, but her eyes sparkled. 

She looked beautiful, Sidney’s hands trembled treacherously, he swallowed, put the bowl in his hand on the shelf and turned fully to her.

The expression on his face lit a flame inside her. 

To distract herself, she went to the two coffee cups and smelled it.

"Mmhh ...," she hummed, suddenly felt him right behind her.

"Try a sip ...," he whispered with his lips right on her ear. 

Sidney smiled as she unconsciously leaned closer to him, hesitantly placing his hands on her waist as she took a careful sip.

"Wow ... that tastes really nice. These are your own beans?” With her eyebrows raised, Charlotte turned and saw Sidney nodding proudly.

"You really have a passion for that, don't you?"

Slowly he tilted his head to the side, raised his hand and grabbed one of her curls.He watched her take another sip and smiled.

"Yes I have. Like I said, I love coffee, the smell, the beans, the plant. The plantations are beautiful, I ... “. 

He broke off uncertainly.He had wanted to say that he would like to show her his plantations, but didn't know if she wanted to hear anything like that. But she surprised him.

"I'd like to see them one day ... the plantations," she murmured softly and with a shy smile.

The look they shared was full of hopes that they had not yet dared to express.

Gently, Sidney wrapped his hands around her waist again, lifted her up and placed her on his countertop. Charlotte felt his warm lips against her temple, put her hand on his bare chest and enjoyed the feeling of him.

After a long moment, Sidney took a deep breath, kissed her head again, and then turned back to the stove. 

It was strangely homely to cook for her.He knew she was watching him, kept looking at her out of the corner of his eyes because she looked really adorable - in his half-buttoned shirt.She was so subconsciously sexy, and he needed everything to control his body.

Charlotte didn't feel any different. He looked so hot, his muscular torso attracted her terribly and her fingers tingled because she wanted to touch him.

When Sidney turned to put the dirty bowl in the sink, she admired his broad back. Unable to resist, she raised her foot to tip her toes against the skin on his lower back.

The fact that she touched him made his heart skip a beat.

"Would you like to try?" He just managed to growl, he wanted to kiss her so much.She nodded, Sidney took a fork from the drawer next to Charlotte and ran a hand over her knee. 

Immediately goose bumps formed on her leg, it was too tempting and slowly he let one of his fingers slide over her thigh.

She moaned softly and closed her eyes.This touch alone was almost too much.

He couldn't stop himself.It was just impossible ... 

He gently put both hands on her thighs, carefully spread them apart and moved his body between them.Her eyes were still closed, her mouth was slightly open, and she gasped as Sidney leaned forward and licked her lower lip with his tongue.

Her fingers immediately reached into his hair, she pulled him closer and touched his tongue with hers.Sidney growled as she took his lip between hers, sipped at him, and allowed him to dip into her mouth.

It was sweet and tender, he played gently with her tongue, but his kiss became more passionate as Charlotte's fingers started sliding over his hot skin. She could feel his muscles moving under his skin, slipping both hands over his shoulders, then to his sides, and finally admiring his abs.

At the same time, Charlotte was very aware of what his fingers were doing.He stroked her legs incredibly gentle, first on the outside, but then he pushed his fingertips to the soft, sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs.Slowly he went higher and higher, found her black lace panties and then suddenly grabbed her butt.

While his tongue licked the inside of her lower lip, he pulled her close, her legs wrapped around him and pressed his hips into hers.

They both groaned loudly, their lips parted and Sidney leaned his forehead against her, breathing heavily.

He was already rock hard, he hurt for her - wanted her and looked into her eyes.

"You are incredibly sexy, do you know that?Only in my shirt and those damn panties."

Charlotte smiled shyly and pulled back to let her eyes slide demonstratively over his bare upper body.

"No ... but if someone is sexy it's definitely you. I've never seen such a handsome man ...".Blushing, she stopped, but Sidney clasped her cheeks with both hands.

He couldn't say the words on his tongue.Not yet ...

"You doubt yourself too much, Charlotte," he whispered, kissing her lips tenderly.At the same time, his fingers fell down and began to open the buttons on his shirt.

He ran his fingertips across her bare skin as if by chance.The first time right in the valley between her breasts, with the second button over her ribs and with the last one over her navel. Her eyes closed as the fabric fell apart.

With a soft moan, Sidney put his fingers directly on her bare skin, wrapped her ribs, and slowly pushed his hands up. The shirt kept opening, exposing her beautiful breasts and hard, rosy nipples.

In the bright daylight he could see every twitch of her skin, saw the goose bumps that spread over her and was completely spellbound by her.His hands gently grabbed her breasts, they fit perfectly into his hands and he gently lifted one up to him.

"You are beautiful, Charlotte.And incredibly seductive ... ".

His dark voice made her tremble even more, she knew he was looking at her and opened her eyes.The look on his face was full of admiration, he came closer and Charlotte whimpered his name as his lips wrapped around her nipple.

The heat of his mouth was intoxicating, his tongue licked wet circles, and when he sucked gently, she rose herself to his touch.

With one hand, Sidney brushed his shirt off her shoulders, spread his fingertips between her shoulder blades, and pushed her further back.His mouth slid wet over her skin, reached her other breast, where he blew his hot breath over her sensitive nipple.

"Sidney ...," she whispered, pulling his hair. "Don't tease me ...".

He giggled, but then put his lips around her erect bud and sucked hard.Her legs immediately tightened around his waist, causing him to growl as his pants were already uncomfortably tight.

Passion overwhelmed her and Charlotte lifted his head from her skin, devoured his mouth and sucked on his lip.

Sidney felt her fingers loosen his belt and pulled his hips back a little.Without interrupting the kiss, he put his hand back on her inner thigh and slid up.

His touch was so distracting that Charlotte forgot to open his button.All she could do was slide her fingers into his waistband when his fingers hit her panties.

It was wet, Sidney groaned hoarsely and slid his thumb over the lace fabric.

He would never forget these panties again, they were absolutely sensual.

But now her panties were in the way, he lifted her effortlessly with one arm to take off the thin lace with the other hand.

Slowly he pulled it over her thighs and knees, dropped it on the floor, and loosened his lips from hers to look at her.

She sat completely naked on his countertop, her lips swollen and red from his kisses, her eyes trustingly on him and her legs spread.

How was he supposed to endure this sight?

"Charlotte ...," he breathed full of emotion, put his hand on her neck and pulled her mouth to his.

He loved this woman, and since he didn't dare to tell her, he decided to show her.

Charlotte clung to him when his tongue and lips practically worshiped her, his kiss was so sensual and loving, full of feeling, and for a while they got lost in it.

It wasn't until Sidney slid his hand from her neck to her breast to roll her nipple in his palm, Charlotte finally managed to open the button and zipper of his pants.But she couldn't get any further, had to let go of his lips and threw her head back because Sidney’s fingers had reached her warmth.

With two fingers he slid through her wet slit, moaned at her moisture and pressed his mouth against the soft skin of her neck.

His fingers entered her gently, his thumb was on her pearl and Charlotte looked at him. 

She was breathing heavily, her eyes were only half open, and her hands were slowly sliding into his pants.

She gasped when she realized that he wasn't wearing boxers, his pants fell on the ground and Sidney kicked them away.

He stood in front of her naked, his hard cock was already aching and Charlotte reached for him whimpering.As he slowly pushed his fingers into her over and over again, she closed her palm around his incredible length.

The sound he made almost sent her over the edge. Their eyes met, and while they caressed each other, their lips met in a long and deep kiss. 

When Charlotte shivered with emotion or cold - Sidney didn't know, he pulled his fingers out of her warmth and pressed her body against his.He lovingly lifted her up, felt her put her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist, and carried her safely through his apartment.

"You like carrying me, don't you?," Charlotte whispered softly in his mouth, bit his lip and felt him shiver.

She loved the feeling of being carried by him, and he seemed to feel the same.

"Yeah, I like it ... you're so tiny and so light in my arms.I feel like I can protect you from the whole world by carrying you.” As he spoke his lips stroked hers, his voice sounded breathless and was very dark.

Slowly, he slid one hand over her bottom and then slid his fingers into her slit from behind.He gently stroked her wet folds and pressed against her entrance.Moaning, Charlotte bent against him, shoved her tongue into his mouth and kissed him hard.

Only when she felt the cold water on her skin did she realize that he had carried her into his shower and not into his bed.

She squeaked and pressed against him in search of warmth as he turned under the water so that it ran down his back until it was warm.

But that caused him to push her against the wall, memories of the last times they stood like that flooded both of them, and Sidney couldn't hold back.

With both hands he lifted her slightly and moved so that the tip of his cock slid into her wet entrance.

The water was pleasantly warm now, it was running over their bodys and Charlotte moved her hips to drive him deeper inside of her.

"Make us one again, Sidney, ... please," whispered Charlotte, looking at him.Drops of water ran down his face, dripped from his chin and he looked incredibly sexy.

She pulled him closer, their lips touched as Sidney pushed slowly and gently into her. They moaned in each other's mouth, but could not withdraw.It was so intense, so beautiful and full of passion.

Without moving Sidney just enjoyed her warmth, he could have stood like this forever.

"You are so damn tight around me, the feeling is so arousing."

Full of lust, Sidney licked her lip, reached for her beautiful breast with one hand, and began to move as Charlotte bent against him.

"Your voice drives me crazy ...".Everything about him made her crazy.

What he said, how he touched her and the strength of his body was absolutely damn attractive, his hard, deliberate movements and the way he kissed her was so sensual and his dark voice hummed inside of her.

She was completely lost, but she could feel that he was too. 

His muscles trembled under her fingers, he groaned and whispered her name on her lips and kissed her with need.

With long, deep thrusts, he let them both explode. Her small body trembled uncontrollably when she climaxed, but when she felt Sidney hotly pouring into her, she screamed his name.

It fascinated him to see her like this, to experience her intense reaction and it made him completely lose control.He felt that his legs were almost giving way under him, his whole body shivered, but he held her tight and pressed her to him. His lips found her mouth, he kissed her deeply and desperately as the warm water flowed over them.

Since Charlotte could hardly stand, he washed her tenderly, soaped her and also took care of her hair.His soft fingers in her curls felt very nice, with closed eyes, she let him take care of her and buried her face on his neck as he wrapped her in a warm towel, slipped his arm under her knees and lovingly carried her to his bed.

There they were now close together, naked and warm under Sidney’s blankets and talked quietly.

"May I ask you something?"

Sidney nodded, her head rested on his chest and her hair scattered wildly over him.He stroked her back absently, enjoying her soft skin and intoxicating smell.

"What do you want to know?"

He would answer any question she might have, he felt he could be completely honest with her.

His answer made Charlotte look up.There was so much she wanted to ask him.She wanted to ask if the rumors about him were true, if this was as special for him as it was for her, and if his heart ached just as much as hers at the thought that they would have to part soon.But she didn't dare, so she asked what was easier to discuss.

"You told me that you invested a lot of money in Tom's companys. Where did you get all the money from?” She blushed slightly when he raised an eyebrow, but continued to speak."I mean ..., you also set up the aid organization and the café.I'm just wondering how you did it all." 

Sidney smiled slightly, he found her interest sweet, and it showed him that she had been thinking about him.

“I started working early, bought different shares with my first money I earned and was lucky.I have invested again and again, and I have earned very well with that. I then used these profits to finance the café and my share in our organization.” He hesitated and sighed, but continued to speak.

“When my father died, Tom inherited the most, but he bequeathed a little money to Arthur, Diana, and me each. I didn't want the money, I didn't want anything from him and I wanted to do the things that were important to me by my own.So I invested well and pay for Tom's dreams with the profit.”

He sensed that she was watching him and met her gaze.

Slowly she climbed on top of him, put her body on his and put her hands on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry you had such a bad relationship with your father.I can't even imagine what it was like for you as a child."

Goose bumps spread all over his body, it was wonderful to feel her lying on him and he gently pulled her closer with his arms.

"As a child it wasn't that bad, I had mum ... it only became unbearable when I needed him at the time...".

"Please forgive me for blaming you for not doing enough for Tom and Sanditon.That was not right of me."

Charlotte bit her lip, she could feel Sidney getting harder and she rubbed against him lightly.The attraction between them was indescribable, the need to be close overwhelmed them both, and with a sweet smile Sidney raised his head to kiss her tenderly.

"Already forgiven, you didn't know ...," he whispered on her lips and then met her tongue with his.

He gently grabbed her hips, moving so that he could slip into her, but then he heard her hiss softly.

"You're sore ...," he murmured, holding her away from him."I hurt you."

But Charlotte pressed against his hands, lowered herself onto him and took his hard cock inside her.He filled her completely, it was exhilarating.

"I love the feeling of you inside of me ...," she whispered hoarsely, looking into his black, shining eyes."You are so big, I can feel you deep inside me." 

She killed him.How should he endure that?

While loving each other slowly and gently, they kissed deeply. Sidney barely moved, slid his hands over her beautiful body and helped her ride him carefully.

When they both fell apart, they looked at each other until Charlotte lowered her lips to his and moaned in his mouth. 

—- ~ —- 

"When does the train leave?"

Sidney frowned and looked at the clock.It was late afternoon, he knew she had to go soon, and the thought made him sadder than he wanted to admit.Charlotte was sitting on his couch, again only in his shirt and her panties, with the heavy Chaucer on her lap.

She had asked shyly if she could look at the book and Sidney had nodded with a smile.He had just cleaned up the kitchen after throwing away this morning's eggs and making new ones for them.

Charlotte looked up and saw him leaning against the door frame.Again he only wore his pants and she found him really sexy.She would have preferred not to leave at all, she felt comfortable here - in his apartment and with him.

"In two hours.I should go back to Bedford Place to meet Arthur."

Taking a deep breath, Sidney came closer, knelt on the floor in front of her, and reached for her hand.

"If you think I'll let you go a second earlier than I have to, you're wrong." He gently kissed the back of her hand, felt her other hand in his hair, and pressed his head against her stomach.

He wanted her to stay here, but knew that she couldn't.

When he felt her kissing his head, he looked at her again.Her smile was radiant and happy, her eyes were shining and it made him feel warm. 

An hour later they left his apartment together, at the door Charlotte turned around again and absorbed everything.She stole a tear from the corner of her eye, but he saw it anyway and kissed her gently.

They drove through the city in silence, but Charlotte didn't let go of his hand.

"Oh, nice to see you both."

Arthur grinned when they got to Bedford Place together, but said nothing else.He didn't want to annoy Sidney, so he just put a hand on his shoulder.Charlotte was fairly red in her face and quietly apologized to change.

Arthur did not miss Sidney watching her and he could see that his brother was completely lost.

"Sidney, I got a call from the publisher for our book.He obviously wants to meet me here in London tomorrow, so I have to stay here.Do you think Charlotte can make her way back to Sanditon with the train on her own?" 

Sidney’s face twisted with a bright smile, but he tried to hide it quickly.

"I'll drive her home, don't worry."

"Who are you driving home?" Charlotte had come down unnoticed, in tight jeans and a nice blouse.When she saw Sidney’s eyes wander over her body, she blushed again, but not because it was uncomfortable for her.His eyes were burning again, she couldn't resist and put her hand inconspicuously on his back.

He had put on a casual, dark gray sweater, he looked very good and Charlotte wanted to put her hand under his clothes on his skin. 

"Arthur has to stay here, he has an appointment tomorrow.So I'll drive you home."

"Oh, you don't have to. That would be over four hours in the car for you.” Charlotte protested, although she liked the thought.It would mean that she could stay with him longer.

"I will not put you on the train alone, and that means I can also invite you to dinner."

Their eyes met and they completely forgot that Arthur was still standing next to them.

"Thank you ...," Charlotte whispered softly, feeling her heart racing as Sidney leaned down to kiss her lips gently.

It was very late when Sidney stopped his car in front of Charlotte's apartment in Sanditon.

They had a wonderful evening, ate in a small restaurant and talked throughout the trip.He could see that she was tired, she was yawning and he got out to open her door.

"Would you like to come in with me?" She asked shyly and leaned slightly against him.

"I'd love to, very much," he replied softly, rubbing her arms and leaning his forehead against hers. "But if I come in, I won't go anymore. You have to rest and relax, and I have to be in the office tomorrow morning.”

She blushed again, but nodded and sighed.

"Please drive carefully ..." she murmured, but his lips were already on hers, devouring her with a tender and passionate kiss and leaving her breathless.

He watched her until she closed her door behind her. 

A queasy feeling spread through him, the separation to her was already painful, but he decided to come back to her as soon as possible.


	18. Gossip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't hate me too much for that. Please stay with me and read on ...

It took him a while to get up.

His bed smelled of her, with a slight smile he pressed his face into the pillows again and took a deep breath.

Growling, he picked up his phone and typed a message.

_Me: I miss you ....!God, that sounds cliché, but it's true.I hope you are still sleeping, I would love to hold you in my arms.Everything smells like you here - call you later.XO Sindey_

Sighing over himself, he got up to take a shower.He had to go to work, even if he didn't know how to concentrate.Then his phone buzzed with an answer, which made his heart beat faster and he considered whether he should just take a vacation and go to Sanditon.

_Charlotte: Morning. Have been lying awake for half the night ... suddenly it's too cold here.Next time, I'll take your pillow with me so I can smell your scent too. Looking forward to your call, XO Charlotte_

_Charlotte: ... I miss you too._

Sidney laughed. _Next time .._., she had written.

Maybe he should really go on vacation.

—- ~ —-

When his phone rang shortly before noon, he reached for it so quickly that he struck his fingers.But it was Crowe.

"Hey, what gives me the pleasure?"

"Hey Sidney. My date has canceled for tonight.” Crowe sounded offended and Sidney laughed.

"Who would have thought that this was possible at all?"

"Yes, yes, just laugh.Would you like to have dinner with me later?You offered me we could talk about the club in Sanditon ... ".

Sidney grinned.He had known that Crowe would ask about it at some point, so of course he accepted the invitation.

"Yes of course. I'll show you everything I have about the building.”

He heard Crowe laugh at the other end.

"Then we meet at 7:00 p.m. at the _LaPerla_ , I've made a reservation."

"The _LaPerla_?Should I wear something special?I mean ... this is one of the classiest restaurants in the city - I don't know if I'm ready for something like that at this point in our relationship."

"Oh, piss off, Parker ...," Crowe growled, but Sidney laughed so loudly that he almost didn't hear it.

He wrote to Charlotte that he had to go to an appointment that evening and call her afterwards, hoping it wouldn't take too long.

He wanted nothing more than to hear her voice, but she had a conference call with her boss that afternoon that would probably take quite a long time, so there was no way to call at the moment.

The _LaPearl_ was really nice, there was a candle on every table, the light was dim and the atmosphere was very romantic.The tables were full of couples in love, Sidney felt slightly uncomfortable until he saw Crowe at a table right by the large window.

"What, you don't even get up to at least kiss my cheek?"

Laughing, Sidney slid into the chair opposite his friend and grinned.Crowe just rolled his eyes. Apparently he was really offended that his date was canceled.

"It took me four weeks to get a table here because she really wanted to eat here, and now she suddenly has something better in mind."

Sidney was getting serious. "Sorry man.It's one of the Beouford sisters, right?"

Crowe waved it off, took a sip of his wine, and grinned.

"Forget it, she missed her chance. So let's talk about the club ... ". 

It took longer than expected, Crowe wanted to know quite a few details and then presented Sidney with an almost fully developed concept.He wanted to take over the club, which made Sidney reliefed.

They paid and were about to leave when Crowe went to the toilets.Sidney stayed seated, looked out the window, and considered bringing Charlotte here. 

"How nice to see you here, Sidney."

Sidney stiffened, startled.None other than Eliza had slid into Crowe's seat and was smiling at him.

"What do you want from me, Eliza?" He asked wearily.The feeling of happiness inside of him got clouded, and it bothered him that suddenly she seemed to appear everywhere.

"I want _you_ , darling."

The astonishment on Sidney’s face made Eliza laugh and she reached across the table for his hand.He stiffened but didn't pull his hand back.

"Sidney, you must have heard that I was divorced.I haven't forgotten you all these years, we were very happy once, right?Why do you refuse to give us another chance?"

Sidney slowly leaned forward. Her touch was freezing cold, chilling shivers through him, unlike the heat that ran through his body when Charlotte touched him.

"We were happy until our lives moved in different directions." He said firmly. He wanted this chapter of his life to end at last. Slowly he pulled his hand back, noticed that she wanted to hold him, but she didn't have enough strength.

"There is no second chance for us, I don't want any, and I don't want you to pretend that anything connects us.I certainly don't want to hurt you, but you and I - that doesn't exist, Eliza.” 

"You know that I could offer you the world.The two of us together would be the most handsome couple in all of London, we are both successful, but my connections could make your hometown into a metropolis.” Her tone was sweet and seductive - but Sidney only nauseated it. "I know that Tom is still disappointed in you because of our divorce, just like your father was.You could make it all right, finally get the respect you deserve.”

Sidney laughed bitterly, did she really think she could buy him?

"My father is dead, Eliza, and Tom ..., Tom is my brother.It doesn't matter what he expects from me, he will have to take me the way I am. You can't buy me.”

He noticed that Crowe was waiting for him at the counter and got up."I wish you all the best, ... I do, Eliza.But I ask you to leave me alone in the future."

Eliza reached for his arm again, she got up too, but Sidney backed away.

"I'm not going to just give up, Sidney.You are beautiful, successful, and respected. We would be perfect."

He looked at her, shaking his head, a sad smile on his face.

"You will have to give up.I don't want anything perfect, I want love.And there won't be any between us." 

Sidney left, nodded to Crowe, and took a deep breath outside the door.

It was like a final end for him, the beginning of his new life.

Hopefully a life with Charlotte. 

—- ~ —- 

Unfortunately the day was completely different for Charlotte.

On Monday morning, when she was woken up by the vibration of her phone, she felt happier than ever before.

Vigorously, she got ready for work, enjoyed the sun and Sanditon's fresh air, but then accidentally heard a conversation between Edward and Clara, and her mood sank.

"... you stared at him several times, don't tell me that you are attracted to him."

Edward sounded angry, holding Clara's upper arm as she smiled maliciously at him.

"Are you really jealous of the beautiful Sidney Parker?" She grinned."Come on, every woman would take the opportunity to get him. If only for one night. No woman has ever got more than that.”

"What is this man about? I think Hannah, the maid in the hotel wailed her eyes when he just disappeared after a night with her. What's so great about him?"

Charlotte immediately felt a sharp stab. Had he slept with the maid the last time he was here?

Oh god, she couldn't believe all of this.

"The thing with Hannah is just a rumor, i think he rejected her, but as long as he would go to bed with me, I wouldn't care if he was still there the next morning.It would probably do him good to be rejected by one of his conquests instead of being the one who disappears. But he just looks too good and his reputation is legendary.” Clara giggled as Edward pulled her close.

"I'll show you who looks good, and I have a reputation too." Edward growled and kissed Clara, who responded enthusiastically. 

Disgusted, Charlotte turned away.She was sick and tears stung her eyes.

Memories of the weekend flooded her, how he had held her close to him, how he had kissed her or whispered her name.Then his messages from this morning, it couldn't all be played.

With a much less happy feeling, she went on and could hardly concentrate on her work. 

When Sidney wrote that he couldn't call her until late in the evening, she was a little disappointed, but since she had a long appointment herself in the afternoon, she couldn't blame him. 

And then she met James.

"How was your weekend with Mr. Handsome?" That was the first thing he said, and Charlotte raised her eyebrows.

"It was nice," she said, knowing that she was blushing a little."The fair was really great, Arthur and Sidney looked after me really well and introduced me to a lot of people."

James watched her carefully and grimaced.

"Tell me you didn't sleep with him."

"What ...?" Charlotte got angry, what did it matter to him?

"Sorry, but I'm worried about you," James moved a little closer, real concern on his face."I can accept that you won't want me even if I don't stop trying. But that doesn't mean I want him to hurt you.And he will, .. believe me." 

"I appreciate your concern, James, but I can take care of myself."

He nodded, visibly disappointed, but he didn't give up.

"At least promise me to google him. So you know who you're getting into. Sidney has always been charming, he knows how to deal with women and what to say to seduce them. But photos say more than words, and if you don't believe me, you should at least find out more about him.” 

And she did. 

When she waited for Sidney’s call, she googled him.

A flood of photos appeared, always showing him with another woman, every headline about London's most sought-after womanizer stabbed in her heart and sobbing, she closed her laptop.

She wrote to him that she was tired and was going to sleep, lay down and stared at the ceiling.

His answer came an hour later, it was sweet and loving, and the confusion in her head grew. 

—- ~ —- 

The next morning there was another message from Sidney, he even called, but Charlotte didn't answer the call. 

She was so damn unsure.

She didn't write to him until around noon while her heart was racing.

_Me: I'm sorry, I have a lot of work. Hope you are well._

He replied immediately, as if he was just waiting for her to write to him.

_Parker, Sidney:... don't worry.I feel a little alone, can hardly wait for the weekend.Have thought about maybe coming earlier ..._

Charlotte smiled in spite of everything and the bad feeling inside her eased a little.

_Me: ... that would be nice._

_Parker, Sidney: Calling Tonight? I really miss you ...XO_

_Me: Yes, I would love that.(Kiss-Emoji)_

Now she felt light, the smile not disappeared from her face and the afternoon couldn't pass quickly enough.

The thought that he would take a vacation to be with her earlier gave her butterflies and she decided to talk to him about the rumors about him and his past when he was here. She hated the uncertainty in her head, couldn't forget how close they had been, and didn't want to lose what she wanted so badly because of stupid rumors.

And she wanted him.

After work, Charlotte went to Trafalger House.She wanted to finish the baby albums with Mary, so she was sitting next to Mary at the large table in the living room with a glass of wine when she heard Tom's voice on the phone.

With his words her whole world broke apart.

"Oh, dear Eliza, I'm so happy for you - or rather for you both." Tom laughed on the phone as Charlotte's inside grew cold.She couldn't help but listen, it was simply impossible.

"I always knew it would be like this. He never got away from you, he's just stubborn,” he laughed again and looked at Mary with a triumphant look."So you were in Bedford Place?It hasn't changed much, has it?"

For a moment, Tom was silent, Charlotte had to concentrate to continue hearing him as her blood roared in her ears.

"Oh, in his _cave_?" Tom beamed, his voice was loud and full of hidden envy."I have never been there myself.He only has the apartment for his women, our womanicer.But that's going to change now that he's back with you, I'm sure."

Eliza had to say something funny at the other end because Tom laughed heartily.

"You don't happen to have a photo of you both? I would like to prove a point to Mary ... ".He grinned again, Mary looked very worried and kept looking out of the corner of her eye in Charlotte's direction, but she didn't notice.She was snow white, swayed slightly in her chair, and stared ahead.

"Oh, how great. Thank you for the warning, but we can never have enough photographers here in Sanditon.” Now he sounded conspiratorial and Charlotte's stomach turned. 

Had she heard right?And had she understood it correctly?

She couldn't believe it.But all her hopes and dreams fell apart into hundreds of little pieces when Tom ended his conversation and turned to her and his wife, beaming with joy. 

"I knew it, Mary.I knew it ...".

"What, Tom, what does all this mean here?" Mary looked more than concerned and and sighed deeplly.

"That was just the lovely Eliza.She said she was invited to the _LaPearl_ yesterday by Sidney, can you believe that?I think you have to reserve a table weeks in advance.” Tom frowned, probably wondering when his brother had planned this evening and reserved the table. 

Charlotte wondered the same thing, and the thoughts made her sick.

"Anyway, they were eating and he took her to his cave afterwards. I told you that she was and is the only woman he lost his heart to, but you didn't want to believe me." 

Triumphantly, he looked at Mary, who was nervously sliding around in her chair.

"I don't believe you now too, Tom. The way it sounded, she promised you photographers, right?She just wants to wrap you up, and I ask you to remember what Sidney said to you.He won't help you if you get involved with Eliza, and then her photographers won't help you either.” Mary stood up, but Tom stepped in front of her and took his phone out of his pocket.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me.But I have evidence ... ". 

And he actually had ecudence.Since Charlotte had been sitting next to Mary and Tom had put the phone on the table in front of her, she clearly saw the photo. 

It showed Sidney, together with Eliza, at a romantic table in a classy-looking restaurant.A candle burned between them, two wine glasses were on the table and Eliza had slid her arm across the table to grab Sidney’s hand.

It was like a slap in the face - it was as if her heart just stopped beating.The pain, the disappointment and the feeling of cheating was overwhelming, she couldn't see or hear anything else, just the photo. 

As if through a fog, she noticed that Mary had put her hand on her arm, but she couldn't take her eyes off the photo.

Was it all just a lie?A trick to get her into his bed when he was planning his romantic evening with his ex-wife weeks ago?

She had to get out of here, tears were already burning in her eyes and she didn't want to show her feelings under any circumstances.

She was so stupid, everyone had warned her about him, but she hadn't listened. 

Charlotte could barely breathe, her hands started to shake and she got up quickly.

"I'll go home ... I've had a long day," she murmured quietly, avoiding looking at Mary.She knew she was watching her, but she didn't want to show her feelings.

She only managed a few steps before Tom's voice stopped her.

"You can be glad that you got a really decent man with James, dear Charlotte. My brother had countless women, but only one owns his heart.It's really sad, he's probably broken a lot of hearts.Be glad that he didn't catch you, but you're in good hands."

He laughed, but Mary stepped in front of Charlotte, helping her to hide her tears.

"Tom Parker, stop talking right now. It is your fantasies and jealousy that make you tell everyone here that he is a womanize. I don't believe Eliza a word and will only accept it when I hear it from Sidney myself."

She turned, but Charlotte was gone.With a deep sigh, Mary shook her head.Of course she had noticed that there was something between the two and that Tom was so ruthless made her more than angry.

It was a physical pain that hit Charlotte, hastily she left Trafalger House, and her tears flowed freely in the hallway.

How could she have been so wrong about him?

She knew about his reputation beforehand, of course, everyone did. Tom, James, even Esther had talked about what a lady-killer he was.

Why had she got involved with him?She should never have let him get so close. Now he had settled in her heart, and the pain and grief she felt was overwhelming.

She couldn't believe that everything that had happened between them this weekend was just a lie.

Charlotte just couldn't forget how cute and loving he had been.All the things he had told her ... was it really all just a trick?

As soon as she entered her apartment, she undressed and slipped into her bed.She had never felt so miserable in her life.

The book he had bought for her lay on her bedside table and while she pressed it to her chest her mind wandered back to the night and day in Sidney's apartment.

Charlotte had thought it was special, the way he looked at her, the way he touched and kissed her. The intensity of his eyes, the sound of his voice as he fell apart and whispered her name. In any case, she herself knew that she had never felt this way in her life, but she also had no experience in these things.

Several times she had had the feeling as if he wanted to say something that he didn't dare after all, he didn't want to let her go, so he drove her home - how could all this mean nothing?

But apparently it wasn't anything special for Sidney Parker since he had a romantic dinner with his ex-wife on Monday.

Tom was probably right.The only woman who owned his heart was Eliza Campion. 

Suddenly Charlotte was overwhelmed with rage.

Anger at him, that he had to look so damn good, that he was so charming and had wrapped her up, anger at herself that she hadn't been stronger and fell for him, and anger at the whole world because it was now her heart that was broken. 

How could she have been so stupid?

Before her tears started flowing again because it hurt so much, she called her sister.She had told Alison about him, and after the first few words, her sister heard that something was wrong.

"It's the guy, isn't it?"

Since Charlotte didn't answer, Alison went on uncertainly.

"Sweetie, I googled him. I know I don't know him, so I can't allow myself to judge, but what I've read and seen about him is very frightening.”

Charlotte sniffed and quietly told her sister about the weekend and what Tom had just said.

"You slept with him? Please tell me you used protection."

"Alison, stop it. You know exactly that i'm on the pill and he certainly wouldn't have slept with me without protection if it hadn't been safe. That's not the point at all. He had a date with his ex-wife yesterday and I have absolutely no chance against her ...". Charlotte started to cry softly, the hopelessness was audible in her voice.

"Shit ...," hissed Alison.

"What should I do now?" Charlotte sounded so broken and hurt that Alison started crying too.

"In any case, you won't let yourself get down. You are strong, Charlotte. You don't need him, you won't give him the satisfaction of being able to hurt you."

Again Charlotte didn't answer, but she listened.She loved her sister and knew that she only wanted her best.

"Listen to me, honey.You will tell him that it was nothing special, that you took your chance to sleep with him - nothing more.You will be strong and not cry in front of him, and you will build your library even without him. You don't need him. Charlotte Heywood is the strongest person I know, and you definitely deserve someone better.”

"You're right.Although it is still difficult for me to believe that it was not real. You should have seen him ... ".

"Sweetie, if he's such a womanicer as you can read everywhere, then he knows how to look at a woman to get what he wants." 

Alison was right. 

Before Charlotte fell into a restless sleep, she vowed to simply banish him from her life and consider the weekend as what it was.

An extended one-night stand.

That was certainly what he saw in it, and she certainly would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her broken.She would drop him, she would just forget him and ignore him.

She also ignored the question of how she should do that and how she should survive to see him again.

Charlotte Heywood was strong enough to live without Sidney Parker, no matter how much she longed for him.


	19. Devastation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry, but as the title suggests, it gets worse.  
> But I promise a happy ending, because everything else is not acceptable.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

Frustrated, Sidney threw his phone on his desk and hid his head in his hands.It was late Wednesday afternoon now and he was slowly going insane.

She had blocked him, was that to be believed?

He didn't understand what in the world he'd done wrong.

The week had been hard so far, he had worked a lot, not only for his normal job, but also for the Sanditon archive.After he got home on Monday, he'd spent hours on his laptop looking for interesting books that he might be able to buy to give Charlotte a basis.He had gone to bed late at night, his head full of her, and had fallen asleep exhausted.That he hadn't been able to call her was disappointing, even though he understood that she was tired.But the next morning, she hadn't accepted his call either, which had worried him.Only her message that she would be happy if he came to Sanditon earlier had calmed him down a little, but after that no word came from her.

She didn't reply to any of his messages and had finally blocked him.

She didn't answer his calls, didn't answer his emails, and he was getting desperate.

What had he done wrong?

He went through all the messages he had sent her since Sunday night again, but found nothing to offend her with.

Sidney had been certain that she had also felt that there had been something special between them. They had been so close, had given themselves not only their bodies but also their souls and he couldn't believe that she hadn't felt the same way he did. So what had changed?

When Ruth knocked softly on his door, he jumped.

"Mr. Parker, you are expected in the large conference room,” she gently reminded him of his next appointment and Sidney swore.

He had forgotten that and had absolutely no desire for a long meeting with the lawyers of their aid organization. But he had no choice, so he nodded slightly.

"Thanks Ruth.I just have to look for my documents and I will be at the conference room immediately.”

Ruth looked at him attentively, she had known him for a long time, but she had never seen him like this.So confused, depressed and completely out of his comfort zone.

"Are you all right, Sidney?"

She only called him by his first name when she was really worried, for example when he had exaggerated while boxing and showed up with bruises in the office.

Thankful that there was at least one person who was interested in him, he smiled at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine ... well, not really ... but there's nothing to be done about it at the moment, so.Don't worry about me, Ruth, I'm not worth the trouble.”

Sidney sighed, got up, looked for his briefcase, and then went to the door.Ruth was still watching him, slightly worried, and this time he gave her a real smile, if only a little one.

"You can go home, Ruth, I'll turn everything off later.Enjoy the beautiful evening and treat yourself to a glass of wine."

"Thank you, Mr. Parker.You should hurry up."

He nodded, closed his office door and walked slowly down the corridor, forcing himself to forget about Charlotte and concentrate on his work.

It was after nine when he finally left the central London office building.A glance at his phone showed that he hadn't received any messages and he was getting angry.

In his apartment he changed, got ready for a run and tried to clear his head.

For the first time in years, he had felt like he was alive again, happy with a woman who challenged him, aroused sensations in him he didn't know, and now she seemed to be ignoring him.

What should he do now?

—- ~ —- 

It was just after noon when Sidney jumped into his car and took the freeway towards Sanditon.

He had started early this morning to be able to reschedule a few appointments and had left the office a lot earlier than normal.It was Thursday, he had taken vacation for the next day, but he couldn't take it anymore.

He needed to talk to Charlotte and finally know what he had done wrong.

Saturday night Susan and her Friends would be at Denham Place, he had some of the most valuable books from his library in the trunk, as well as the books he bought earlier in the week and hoped to make Charlotte happy with them. 

Babington had complained that he had to go to Sanditon alone on Saturday morning, but Sidney didn't care.

He had to go now, otherwise his head would explode.

It was exactly three o'clock when he stopped in front of the hotel and went straight to his brother's house.Mary would know where to find Charlotte and he didn't want to waste time. 

"Sidney, how nice that you're already here. I didn't expect you until Saturday."

Tom greeted him from the living room when he entered Trafalger House.

"Hello Tom," Sidney started, but like usual, Tom just kept talking without paying attention to him.

"Eliza said you two would probably come around noon on Saturday, I'm so happy for you, brother, that you finally swallowed your pride."

Sidney stopped confused on his way to the kitchen and turned.

"Eliza?What are you talking about, Tom?"

"She called me on Tuesday and told me about your evening together," said Tom, winking with his eyebrows and Sidney ignored what he meant by that."She said you'd maybe come together for lunch on Saturday.I've already reserved a table." 

"What?" This woman made him so incredibly angry, why couldn't she just leave him alone?"As you can see I'm alone here and I have no other plans.Do you know where Mary is? "

"Mary?" Tom asked blankly and Sidney grew angrier.

"Yes, Mary, your wife.Do you remember?"

Tom flinched a little at his brother's angry voice, this man had a temper as thin as paper.

"She went to the Café with Charlotte and the kids to have an ice cream," he replied slightly offended and sighed when his brother stormed out of the house without a word.

He saw her as soon as he entered the Café.

She looked beautiful, in a blue shirt and tight jeans, her hair loose and wild, and an instant picture of her in his bed shot through his head as her hair spread across his bare chest. 

He couldn't help smiling, his heart stumbled, but when Jenny and Henry discovered him, joyfully ran up to him and called his name, she turned and his smile faded.

Her gaze was surprised for a moment, then sad and then dismissive, she said something to Mary and then left the Café without a word to him.

He watched her in confusion, gave the children a quick kiss on the head, and quickly apologized to leave the Café as well. 

"Wait ...". Sidney called as he ran after Charlotte and stopped her just before the stairs to the beach by standing in front of her. He saw her grit her teeth and take a deep breath, as if she wanted to see everyone but him.

"Please can you tell me what I did wrong?" Sidney asked concerned and had to resist the urge to grab her arm. “Because I have no idea what has happened since Tuesday afternoon when you answered my WhatsApp with a kiss-emoji. You blocked me and ignored my calls, so please Charlotte, what did I do wrong?" 

He sounded really desperate and Charlotte's heart leapt.

But no, she wouldn't give in.She had made her decision to cut him out of her life, and the sooner and more definitely she did that, the better it was.

He was a womenizer, of course he knew how to wrap a woman around his fingers to get her into his bed.She remembered what Alison had said to her and stubbornly ignored the pain in her heart.

Determined, she took a step back to put more space between them and swallowed hard.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she began in an ice-cold voice, boring her nails into the palms of her hands to continue speaking. "I just don't see the point in sending any messages after - let's say an extended one-night stand - and you're very busy. I really didn't want to bother you."

Sidney's breath caught by her words, it felt like a knife in his chest.

"What?"

Charlotte continued, ignoring the look on his face.

"Oh come on, the weekend with me, a romantic dinner on Monday with your ex-wife, I just thought you were exhausted. That between us meant nothing, you don't have to pretend it was special.” 

What she said hit him like the punches from his boxing opponents.Her gaze was cold, her face expressionless, and her attitude completely indifferent.

"It meant nothing?" He asked incredulously and quietly, he didn't believe a word she was saying. But when she snorted and turned slightly away from him, he needed everything not to show his pain.

"Of course not.I did what every woman would do if the coveted Sidney Parker offered to take her home with him, your reputation is legendary, after all.” 

This time he couldn't stop wincing, his body twisted, but Charlotte stayed hard.She had to cut him out, otherwise she would go crazy, and that was the best way.She didn't look at him, pretended to check her phone, so she didn't notice a hard, bitter shadow covering his face.

"I see," he growled coldly, stepping back further. “Sidney Parker is of no use other than a good fuck, isn't he?I am happy to have been at your service." 

As on their first encounter, he bowed slightly before walking past her and almost running down the promenade.

He paid no attention to Mary and the children waiting in front of the Café, barely managed to avoid the few people on his way and went to his car as fast as he could.

His eyes burned with tears as he slid behind the steering wheel, his inside broke, and without paying any attention to anyone, he drove out of the town far too quickly, even though he had only arrived here a little over half an hour ago.

He hated Sanditon, hated the people in it, and didn't intend to come back anytime soon.

Distraught by what she had just observed, Mary pushed the children back into the Café and then slowly walked towards Charlotte, who was still at the same place where she had just spoken to Sidney.

Her eyes shone with tears, her lip trembled as she watched Sidney's rapidly moving figure.It was like he was taking a part of her with him, the urge to run after him was strong, but she remembered why she had said all these things. She had achieved what she wanted. 

He left her alone.

Still, it hurt terribly because it wasn't what she wanted at all.The time with him was precious to her, and kicking these experiences in the dirt now was almost unbearable.

Without a word, Mary hugged her tightly as soon as she reached her, blocking her view of Sidney before he disappeared.

"What happened, my dear?" She asked softly when Charlotte's body shivered.

"I ended what never started.Even if it kills me ... ".

Charlotte sounded so unsettled and Mary didn't know what to answer because she didn't know what she was talking about. 

Had she done the right thing?The hurt look on Sidney's face as he passed her, his bitter words, and the way he winced when she spoke so hard to him, made her think she had made a mistake.

But she couldn't forget the photo of him and Eliza, how Eliza had held his hand, and how he leaned forward as if he wanted to kiss her.

She had only protected herself to prevent him from breaking her heart. 

Mary asked if she wanted to come to Trafalger House, but Charlotte replied that she needed some time alone and hid in her apartment.

Where had Sidney gone, was he still here?

She couldn't imagine it.

Then she remembered that she would see him again on Saturday at the library event.Then how would it be?

Would he ignore her? 

Her head ached from asking too many questions, her heart ached too and the image of him standing in front of her and asking what he had done wrong was in her head.

Maybe she should have talked to him first? 

—- ~ —- 

It was late when Sidney reached London, but he barely registered it.He couldn't go home, his apartment reminded him of her, so he went to a bar.

It was the first one he saw, and he didn't care that it was in a rather rough part of town. He sat down at a table in the far corner, ordered a bottle of whiskey, and started drinking.

The contempt he felt for himself flooded him. How could he have been so stupid?He had stayed away from women for years, hadn't let anyone get close to him, the walls he had built around him had protected his heart and now these girl had appeared and torn everything apart.

It was his own fault, how could he have assumed that she could feel anything for him?He had never been enough, not for Eliza, not for anyone else, and certainly not for Charlotte Heywood. 

Halfway through the bottle, his contempt turned into self-loathing.

At his next table was a loud group of likewise drunk men who kept looking at him suspiciously.At first he ignored them, but the more he drank, the angrier he got.

It wasn't that he was looking for a fight, but when his bottle was almost empty, he went outside to smoke and three of the group followed. 

"Oh, look at the fine gentleman, he doesn't smoke cigarettes like the rest of us, no, the noble gentleman in a suit smokes cigarillos."

The group laughed, the one who had spoken was large and broad shouldered - he definitely looked like a bear.

Sidney just snorted, inhaled the smoke deeply, and tried to calm down.

But they didn't leave him alone, maybe it wasn't a good idea to stop here, after all, he really stood out here with his clothes.

"I think he got lost," the bear teased again and came closer to him."There are no fine restaurants here, and no private clubs either, you are here in a normal bar."

When the bear blew the smoke from his own cigarette in his face, Sidney straightened up.Couldn't he get drunk even in peace?

Everyone made assumptions about him, figured out who he was, without caring what the truth was.

"I just want to have a drink and a smoke in peace, nothing more," he said politely, but his expression was angry.The bottle of whiskey showed its effects, although he could take a lot and was still quite safe on his feet.

"Oh, the high lord wants to have peace, did you hear that?" The bear laughed and bowed mockingly to Sidney."We should probably roll out a red carpet for him, for the pretty boy."

It was getting more and more difficult to hold back, so Sidney put out his cigar and wanted to go inside again when the bear built up at the door.

"I don't think that's really your area here, Dandy." 

Dandy?Did that asshole really called him Dandy?

"I'm just getting my jacket, don't worry, I didn't really want to stay in the gutter you're apparently so proud of."

Sidney knew he was provoking the man, but who cares.It didn't matter wherever he went, he was always an outsider.

"Be careful what you say, asshole," growled the bear, but Sidney only stepped closer to him.

"Otherwise?What do you want to do, mhm?" 

The blow hit him completely unprepared, it was a hard punch with the fist directly into his face that caused his eyebrows to burst open and made him stagger slightly.He was surprised for a moment, but the familiar feeling of physical pain also strangely calmed him down.

Sidney looked up slowly, saw the man laughing at him and cheered on by his friends, and just as the guy took a step towards him, Sidney raised his own fist.

His punch was just as hard and threw the bear against the bar door, but he got up angrily.

Neither of them wanted to give up, they both hit their faces or upper bodys hard, and Sidney enjoyed every single one of them.It drowned out the pain inside, at least for the moment, and that was all he wanted.

He didn't hear the Police siren, was completely focused on his opponent, whose eye was already swelling as he tasted the blood from his own cracked lip in his mouth.


	20. Falling apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give Charlotte a chance and don't hate her. She will recognize her mistake and she will learn to listen to herself, it only takes a little time. I think a young woman with no experience can definitely be a little unsettled by a man like Sidney - his past and rumors about him. She is just afraid.

"Seriously Parker?"

It was Babington's voice that greeted him when he was allowed to leave his prison cell for the night.

They had both been arrested - he and the bear - and Sidney's past hadn't helped him here either.While the bear was allowed to go home, he had to spend the night in a prison cell.

He had hardly slept, had a terrible headache, and felt sore from all the punches.Accordingly, his mood was more than bad when he was finally allowed to go home, and his friend's stunned face didn't make it any better.

"Can you just drive me home? They didn't want to give me my car key, you have to sign for it.”

His voice was rough, he just wanted to hide in his own home and see no one, best forever.

"Sure," said Babington, signed, directed his friend to his car, and watched him in silence.

It had been a long time since he had seen Sidney like this. 

"What happened? You look absolutely shitty."

When Sidney appeared in the office on Monday, he had a smile on his face that his friends didn't know about him at all.He seemed really happy for the first time, and Babington knew it was because of the sweet Charlotte Heywood, who had fascinated his friend for weeks.

So what on earth had happened in less than a week?

Sidney sighed, he had closed his eyes and leaned his head back after getting into the car, but was now staring out of the windshield.

"I thought it was going well between you and Charlotte, she ... she spent the weekend with you, right?"

Babington felt Sidney look at him as if considering what to say.

Shaking his head, he closed his hands into fists and seemed to shrink a little in the passenger seat.

"She used me." Sidney's voice was low, bitter and really hurt."She ..., she said she took he chance to fuck with me, nothing more.She said she had heard of my legendary reputation and had done what every woman would do.”

Surprised, Babington turned his eyes away from the street for a moment. He would never have expected something like this from Charlotte.

The total destruction on Sidney's face troubled him and he began to worry.

"Fuck ...," he murmured, but Sidney barely heard him.

"I'm so stupid, why ...," frustrated he broke off and put his hands in his hair to pull it almost painfully."I should never have let her get that close to me.From the beginning she dug under my skin, I even took her home with me - to my apartment, I stupid idiot."

Sidney furiously slammed his fist against the car door, but immediately flinched as his knuckles cracked and the skin was sore from the fight.

It was quiet for a while before Babington spoke carefully again.

"You fell in love with her, right?"

Sidney closed his eyes.

Why had he been so stupid to fall in love with a woman who had only used him and felt nothing for him?

"Yes ...," he murmured in a low voice, his head killed him and the sunlight stung his eyes, but that was nothing compared to the sting inside of his heart.

Only when Babington parked the car in front of Sidney's apartment did he open his eyes again.

"Come on, you should sleep and relax, I'll pick you up in the morning to go to Sanditon in time."

The Saturday event at Denham Place was important, not just for the archive, since Susan had also shown interest in the museum.Babington wanted to support Esther and be there on time.

Sidney shook his head, a humorless laugh on his face.

"I'm definitely not going to Sanditon, not tomorrow, not next week, never again ...".

He was serious, he really wasn't going to go there soon.

"What?" Babington asked angrily."You made the connection with Susan, I thought the project with the library would have sparked your interest?"

It did, but it was Charlotte's project and he didn't want to see her.

“My presence is absolutely irrelevant.I will write Susan and tell her that I am prevented, she will come anyway, I have already invested and paid a lot of money, I do not care about anything else." 

As if it were his last word, he reached for the door handle before a thought hit him.

He had spent a lot of time picking the best books from his own library and some old diaries and business records from Bedford Place, also he had bought three fairly expensive ancient copies especially for the event.They were all in the trunk of his car ...

He stopped, hesitated, and grimaced.

"Could you ...".

Babington looked at him attentively and Sidney felt slightly uncomfortable, but continued to speak reluctantly.“In my car there are two boxes of books on loan for the archive.I wanted them ... I wanted to give them to ... to Charlotte yesterday, but ... well.Would you take them with you? At least she needs a few interesting copies.And ... would you help her a little?Support her?" 

Even if he felt used, humiliated and cheated - and absolutely hurt, he still wanted her to succeed. It was so important to her and she had worked really hard in the past few weeks.

Frowning, Babington nodded.

"Of course I will help her. I'll get the books too ... if you tell me where your car is?"

Sindey explained it to him, removed his car key from his keychain and put it in the center console.He would take the second key later and go for a walk, he also had to get his jacket.

"And you're sure not to come with me?Tom will be angry ...,"Babington asked again, but Sidney shook his head.

"No," he answered firmly and got out of the car. 

With heavy, dragging steps, he entered his apartment, undressed himself, and stood in the hot shower for ages to calm his aching body.

He had closed his heart before and killed all feelings inside him, he would do it again and just go on as before.

He didn't need anyone in his life, he was fine on his own. 

—- ~ —- 

"You look like shit. Did you sleep at all?"

Esther's greeting was not exactly friendly, but contrary to what she said, she hugged Charlotte tightly."Is everything ok?"

"No."

Charlotte hadn't slept, or at least hardly.Since she had seen Sidney the last time, she felt like she was suffocating.

She missed him terribly, missed talking to him and missed his closeness.

The worst part was that she knew he didn't feel the same.There was a good chance that he could show up here with Eliza. If she was honest, she didn't think he was going to do that, but she didn't know. Tom also had indicated that the two of them might even attract a bunch of journalists and that they should all be prepared. Esther had been surprised by this statement, but had said nothing about it.

"Is there anything I can do?" Esther looked at her carefully, and when Charlotte stole away a few tears, she started to worry.

"I do not think so. I just have to deal with it.” Taking a deep breath, She went to the library, looked at the few books on the shelves, and sighed.

Susan and her friends would be here in a few hours, she was nervous but also terribly tired.

Outside, Georg Banington was unloading his car when Arthur came up to him.

"Hey, where's Sidney?These are his books, aren't they? Is he already in there?"

Babington looked up and then replied.

"No.He is not here."

Arthur raised his eyebrows in surprise.He had only got back to Sanditon by train last night and hadn't heard from his brother since Sunday.

"Why not? I thought he couldn't wait to be around Charlotte again.” Arthur grinned, but stopped at Babington's worried face."What happened?" 

Babington hesitated, but he knew Sidney and Arthur were close, so he sighed softly.

"I got him out of prison yesterday morning. Apparently Charlotte only used him and he doesn't handle it very well.”

Arthur hissed in shock as his face darkened.

"What?I can't believe that, they were so happy together ... ".

"Georg, finally.You have to help me here. Charlotte looks like death, Sidney has not appeared at all and Tom drives everybody crazy.” Relieved, Esther leaned against him and kissed him softly on the lips.She was so happy to have this man in her life, even if it took a while to accept it.

"Hi sweetheart.I'm afraid Sidney won't come, but we'll make it anyway."

Without saying more, he took the first box of books and carried them into the big house.Esther called after him what that meant, but he didn't answer.Arthur followed him with the second box, and together they met Charlotte in the library.

She stared blindly at the shelves, winced when she noticed the two, and then slapped her hands in front of her face. She recognized one of the books in the box that Babington had just placed on the floor.

It was Sidney’s _Chaucer_.

Kneeling down with tears in her eyes, she caressed the old leather carefully, and then looked up at Babington.

He clearly recognized the question in her eyes and sighed again.

"He won't come, he ...," Babington didn't want to tell her that he was arrested.He liked her, but his loyalty was clearly Sidney. "He asked me to bring you the books - on loan.He only bought some of them at the beginning of the week.He spoke to Susan, she knows he is prevented but she will be here soon.” 

Charlotte stared at him stunned.

He wouldn't come?

But why did he give her his books?And why had he bought any more?

She no longer understood anything and exhaustion grew in her.

"Who doesn't come. Sidney?He has to come ... ".Tom stood in the door nervously and kneaded his hands.He needed Sidney here, it wouldn't work without him, he was sure of that.

"We should start so that we are ready when the investors arrive." Babington turned and left, Esther and Tom worriedly following him, only Arthur stayed behind. 

"What happened, Charlotte?"

She was crying now but didn't want to show it and turned away.

"Nothing.What's supposed to have happened?"

"You know exactly what I mean. You look terrible and Babington said Sidney was arrested.Something between Sunday afternoon - when I saw you both together - and now must have gone terribly wrong and I would like to know what it is."

Arthur spoke kindly, but his expression was worried and maybe a little angry.What he said left Charlotte confused - why was Sidney arrested?And was he okay?

"He was arrested? What happened?" Her voice was panicked and she saw Arthur's forehead frown.

"I don't know, Babington didn't want to say more about it. You're worried about him, so what happened?"

"You should ask him, he's the one who had a romantic dinner on Monday. But he'll probably be busy with Eliza, so you might not be able to reach him." Her voice sounded sad and hurt and now Arthur's face was definitely angry.

"What?" He hissed softly."Do you really think that? After everything he told you? I know he talked to you about his past, you probably know more about it than anyone else. And yet you think he is with Eliza?”

When Charlotte did not answer, but stubbornly looked away from him, he exhaled audibly.

"You're making a mistake, Charlotte.I don’t know what happened, but I know for sure that it’s wrong.” 

Arthur angrily left the library and left Charlotte alone.

Again she knelt on the floor and touched his books carefully. The whole situation was so incredibly confusing, her own insecurity made her angry, but when she closed her eyes she saw the picture of Eliza holding his hand again, heard Tom's words and her sister's possessed voice.

She just had to stay tough - against him and herself, and then she'd just be able to forget Sidney Parker. 

The day was terribly exhausting, the only bright spot was Susan.She was genuinely happy to see Charlotte, admired the rooms for the library, and brought the signed contract they had drawn up at the Book Fair.

"It's a shame that Sidney isn't here, but I can see that he lent you his books," she said, admiring Sidney’s Chaucer."It seems to me to be a miracle.When I asked him once if he would only show me the book, he refused.But here it is now ... ".

Charlotte said nothing, took out a few documents, and showed Susan her ad in the newspaper. She had asked the local population to borrow private cronics or diaries. She had already received a few confirmations and Susan was thrilled.

The day was also successful for the museum, Susan's friends were enthusiastic and several contracts were signed with Babington's help, making it a completely satisfactory day. 

But Charlotte couldn't enjoy it, she was present but silent.

"Charlotte, I know it's maybe none of my business, but the last time I saw you you were a lot happier.Could it be that your sadness is due to the absence of a particular gentelman?"

They were in the park at Denham Place, Susan had already said goodbye to Tom and Ester, but had taken Charlotte a few steps away from the others.

"I'm just a little tired, I've been working a lot lately. Please forgive me, Susan.” Charlotte blushed and looked at the floor embarrassed.Apparently, she was doing a bad job of hiding her feelings.

"Oh not, my dear girl.Do not apologize. I'm not going to interfere, but Sidney is a good man- in case you have any doubts about that. I saw how he looked at you."

Her cheeks grew darker red now, but she took a deep breath.

"I have no doubt that he is definitely a good man. I am grateful that he helped me here, but ... I don't think I have a chance against my competition. Also, I don't think he looked at me differently from any other woman.” 

Susan frowned, then smiled slightly and said goodbye.But before she left, she turned to Charlotte again.

"You can try to deny it, and you might succeed for a while.But the heart wants what the heart wants, and even if I don't want to get involved, I would still like to give you advice as a dear friend: how he looked at you was special, just as you looked at him. You should listen to your heart, dear Charlotte. It is usually right."

Charlotte couldn't get these words out of her mind.

Her heart said something completely different from her mind, and she didn't know who to trust. But she knew one thing with absolute certainty.

The realization hit her one night when she woke up crying and heard her own voice calling his name.

She had fallen in love with Sidney!

The man with the dark reputation and difficult past had stolen her heart, whether she wanted it or not, and she had no idea how to continue without him.

But she had to, and that made it unbearable.


	21. Club Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to translate another one for today.  
> I hope you enjoy it ..

"Parker, open your damn door ...".

Sidney opened his eyes in confusion and found that he had fallen asleep on his couch. He had been to one of the city's many fight clubs last night, boxed against a giant Swede and won - and then tried to find oblivion. His memory was only vague, he had been drinking too much.

There was another knock on his door, now Babington's voice came through the door and Sidney tried to get up.

"Stop screaming like that," he muttered as he slowly opened the door and saw Crowe and Babington standing in front of it.

"Really Sidney?It's three o'clock on Saturday afternoon, you look like shit and you're drunk.” Babington pushed past him into his apartment, followed by Crowe and Sidney took a deep breath and closed his door.

He knew what was coming and he really wasn't in the mood for it.

"You can't go on like this, just look at yourself? You have bruises on your face, so you fought again and you stink. Where have you been?"

Sidney sat in an armchair and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fight Club, Harlington Steet."

Babington swore as Crowe searched the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Come on, I thought that was behind you."

Sidney shrugged, took the glass water and emptied it all at once. He felt crappy and just wanted to sleep.

Suddenly a thought came to Babington and he leaned closer to his friend to look into his eyes.

"Did you take anything other than alcohol?"

The reproach made Sidney flinch and he straightened up.

"No!... no, I haven't,” he said firmly and sincerely. “I boxed, then I took care of my wounds and got drunk. Nothing more. There's no woman in my bed either, you don't have to stare at my bedroom door all the time, Crowe. I took a taxi home. Are you satisfied?"

Crowe laughed and leaned back.

"Too bad ...," he grinned, getting an annoyed look from Babington.

"You have to stop drinking.This has been going on for three weeks now, either you work or you box or you drink.Yes, she used you, yes it sucks, but you can't destroy yourself because of that."

Sidney sighed.

He knew Babington was right, it really couldn't go on like this.

"You're right ...," he began, but then hesitated a little."But you won't like my solution, so I haven't said anything yet."

"What not said?"

Babington raised his eyebrows skeptically - this statement was not a good sign.

"I will fly to Antigua next week. I arranged everything in the office, Phil will take over my work, I've already gone through everything with him.”

Phil had started working for them in the aid organization as an intern, but he really had a sense of the job and so Sidney had kept him as an assistant.

"What?"

"I have to get out of here, Georg.I'm going insane ... ”, Sidney hid his face in his hands and tried to calm his rebellious stomach."Tom is always asking more of me, Eliza called me too, I have no idea what she wants and Charlotte, I ...".

He stopped, he didn't want to talk about Charlotte.

“I just want to get out of here for a while, I want to expand the coffee plantation and find a way to import my own beans here. I want to make my own coffee, I've always wanted to, and I think it's just the right thing now.”

Babington had to admit that it was a good plan, even if it was difficult for him to lose his friend, if only temporarily.

"When next week?" Crowe looked at him intently.

"Tuesday."

Crowe nodded, he was one of the people who accepted things as they were.

"We're here to pick you up, I see you're not even dressed yet. So take a shower and make yourself presentable."

Sidney looked at him in confusion, he had no idea what he was talking about.

"What?"

"The club opening, in Sanditon - today," Crowe replied slightly annoyed and stood up."I ripped my ass open to get it going in 3 weeks.It's all in the email I sent you, and we talked about it. Tonight is the opening and you will be there, otherwise I will never forgive you, after all I only took over this club because of you.” 

Stunned by this direct speech, Sidney said nothing, daring not to say that he didn't want to go to Sanditon, and stood up clumsily.Without a word, he went into the bathroom to take a shower.

"I don't understand why he falls apart every time he falls in love with a woman," Crowe grumbled, looking blankly at Babington."You'd think he had learned something last time, but now he's almost crappier than he was then."

Babington just nodded, his friend just had no luck with women.

—- ~ —- 

In the early evening, Babington's fancy car stopped in front of the Sanditon hotel. 

Charlotte had just come out of the Café where she had had coffee in the armchair in which Sidney had once sat. She was on her way to home, but when she saw the car, she couldn't go on.

She stopped and wondered if Sidney had arrived with his friends. At that moment he got out of the car clumsily. 

Half of his face was covered with large sunglasses, but she saw that his jaw was bruised. He seemed to have slept because he rubbed his face and had to lean against the car briefly.Did he have a hangover?

His clothes were as proper as ever, but he looked thinner. She hadn't seen him for three weeks.

Three weeks in which she had tried to forget him. But it did not work. More than once, she had been close to dialing his number; she had even booked a train ticket to London, but hadn't dared to get on.

She couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was wrong, but her logical mind was fighting against her heart.She would have loved to talk to Mary about all of this.But Mary had packed up the children after a really bad argument with Tom and had gone to visit her sister. Mary had been crying terribly when she left, and Charlotte didn't want to burden her with her own problems. She would be back tomorrow, maybe Charlotte would have then a chance to speak to her. 

With a heavy heart, she was watching Sidney walk through the front door of the hotel without looking around and disappearing out of her sight.

Charlotte had to fight the urge to follow him.

Suddenly she noticed that someone was standing next to her and tore her eyes away from the hotel. It was Arthur standing next to her and he had a very worried expression on his face.

Charlotte hesitated because Arthur was pretty angry with her the last weeks, but she had to ask him.

"Is ... is he all right?"

Arthur snorted.He had tried to speak to Charlotte several times, but he was far too angry.He didn't want to say anything he would regret later.

"Does he look like he's all right?"

Charlotte winced at the rugged tone of the otherwise cheerful man.

"No ...," she whispered softly, staring at the hotel door again, but knew Arthur was looking at her.

"He ignored everyone, he doesn't answer the phone and doesn't answer any messages. He has completely withdrawn and it has everything to do with you."

"Maybe it has something to do with Eliza stealing all of his time," The jealousy was evident in Charlotte's voice, and Arthur hissed in frustration.

"Don't be so stupid, Charlotte. Is that really what you think?” He looked at her with angry eyes. How could she think that?"Yes, I saw the photo too, Tom showed it to everyone with joy.But did you ask Sidney how it was received?Did you ask him if he really invited her?Maybe they happened to meet, who knows.I'm sure there's an easy explanation for the photo, but you didn't even bother to ask him about it.So he can't really mean that much to you ... ".

Charlotte turned abruptly to him.This statement hit her hard and it was like a stab in her heart.

"That's not true," she said clearly and firmly."I ... I have no experience about all of these things, Arthur.I come from a sleepy nest, have never felt like this in my life and that weekend in London was ... ”.How was she supposed to describe that she was completely lost in him?"Hearing him say that he met her, that she is the woman he wants would have killed me." Her voice broke, tears shot into her eyes and she looked on the ground."I was just trying to protect myself. I would never have a chance against her, so what is it worth to compete at all?" 

Arthur's face softened.

"What if that was never the question? She against you? What if instead of being strong and confronting him, you just destroyed him without explanation and he doesn't know why you did it?”

The question was exactly what had tormented Charlotte in the past few weeks.

She had been a coward because she hadn't confronted him, and that wasn't her way. She had made a wrong decision out of sheer uncertainty, but how was she going to change that now?

Sidney seemed so far from her. The atmosphere around him was so dark and repellent that he seemed completely removed from everyone and everything.

She didn't know how to find the courage to approach him? 

—- ~ —- 

The club in the old event rooms of the town was full, loud and really chic.Crowe had outdone himself, he had done a great job and was obviously rewarded for it

Sidney stood alone at the bar since Babington and Esther had disappeared onto the crowded dance floor and Crowe seemed to be everywhere.

His eyes were on Charlotte, who was dancing with Georgiana.He had seen her as soon as she entered the club and had followed her every step ever since. The jealousy he felt when he noticed that she was accompanied by James Stinger cut hot through his body, but he couldn't stop watching her. 

"Hey cutie." The voice sounded pretty close to his ear and Sidney winced. "Would you like to dance?"

The woman was pretty, wearing a short, tight-fitting dress, and put her hand on his arm.Sidney hesitated for a split second, but then he smiled apologetically at her and shook his head.

"Sorry, but I'm not available."

Disappointed, the blonde grimaced, but left him alone.Sidney watched her go. Perhaps he would forget Charlotte's body under his if he slept with another woman. He didn't believe it, and he really didn't want to find out.

Charlotte felt uncomfortable.

She hadn't wanted to come here at all, but didn't want to disappoint Georgiana, who had come especially for the weekend because of the club opening.She had picked up Charlotte with Arthur, but the mood of the three was not very good.

They had met James at the club door, and although Arthur had looked at him angrily, he and Fred, who immediately spoke to Georgiana, had joined them. Charlotte had had no choice but to enter the club with James, and that had made her feel worse. 

That was the only reason why she went to the dance floor with Georgiana. That and the fact that she had sensed someone looking at her right after entering the club.

Sidney's eyes seemed to burn into her, he looked insanely good, in tight dark jeans and a casual sweater, sleeves pushed up. 

As she danced, she watched a woman speak to him and how he smiled at her. But he didn't dance.

With a stab in her heart, she thought of the dance she had shared with him, remembered how he had looked at her. She had to turn away to show her wet eyes to no one.

It hurt too much to think of him, it was worse to see him and she was exhausted.But now there was a completely different feeling burning inside her.

She was jealous, she wanted to go back home, and the courage to speak to him was getting less and less. 

She left the dance floor, wondering whether to go to him when James came up to her.

"Are you dancing with me too?" James held out his hand hopefully and Charlotte was startled.That was the last thing she wanted and she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, James, but I think I need some air."

She looked furtively in Sidney’s direction, her heart was racing and she didn’t know what to do.

He stared absently ahead of him, the bruise on his jawbone shimmered in the dim light and she longed to go to him.

It was getting too much for Sidney.

He had seen Charlotte leave the dance floor and meet James. The man had put his hand out to her and Sidney couldn't stand to see her reaction. So he turned away and stared at the celebrating crowds.

He wondered if he should just go, but hesitated.

Suddenly a hard elbow hit him in the ribs and Sidney turned. Next to him, Clara was leaning against the bar, clearly drunk and crying. 

"Hey, everything ok?"

He frowned at her and grabbed her arm as she swayed slightly.

"Edward is a pig," she sniffed softly and Sidney could only agree.He looked around and saw Edward Denham in one of the dark corners of the club.He was about to kiss a woman and Sidney understood the tears on Clara's face.

Again she swayed slightly and Sidney looked at her worriedly.

"Do you want to get some fresh air?I could go with you, I wanted to smoke anyway,” he said, looking around.Charlotte was nowhere to be seen, he didn't know where she had gone, and thought fresh air would do him good.

Clara nodded, he helped her to walk straight and directed her to the exit. 

Just as they stepped into the fresh night air, Sidney bumped into Charlotte.

Their eyes met, but when Charlotte noticed Clara hanging on Sidney's arm, she was swamped by the overheard conversation between Clara and Edward, and the jealousy boiled over inside of her.

She had only wanted to breathe fresh air and get away from James to think about how to speak to Sidney, but now she said the first thing that came to her mind. 

"On the way to the hotel, mhh?" She spoke quietly and immediately regretted it.Desperately, she hoped he hadn't heard it, but he did.

She could see his eyes darkening.

"She needs fresh air, I just wanted to be friendly."

Before he could help Clara sit on one of the nearby walls, she ran to Georgiana, who was also outside.

Relieved, Sidney tried to lean against the wall to light a cigarillo, but she didn't let him. 

"Sidney, ...," Charlotte began uncertainly and fell silent when his dark, angry look hit her.

"What have I done to you to earn so much distrust and aversion?" He almost whispered, but only to keep from screaming."You are the one who uses me, not me you. You made me think we had something special and then threw me away.If I hadn't come here, you wouldn't have even told me, you just ignored me and called me an insignificant one-night stand.” 

He sounded bitter and Charlotte's feeling of having made a mistake grew stronger.He really looked hurt.

"Usually it's you who does it this way, isn't it?" She spoke softly and ashamed.It was really terrible what she said to him back then. "Tom called your apartment your cave, which you only have for your one-night stands." 

Sindey took a step back, the hurt expression on his face disappeared and was replaced with sheer anger.

"I've never - _never_ \- taken a woman home with me, my apartment is far too personal, much too ...", he couldn't find the right word.It was too intimate to have someone strange in those rooms where he felt safe and could be himself.She was the first woman he wanted to show his true self, and she had shown him that it was a mistake.

“No one except Babington, Crowe, or Arthur has ever been to this apartment. My last one-night stand was a year and a half ago, I was pretty drunk back then, which is no excuse, but I'm a grown up single man, so I have no reason to justify myself to anyone.”

Sidney's voice grew louder, but he didn't care who could hear him.Everyone here in this town thought he was a complete idiot anyway, so it didn't matter if he was making a fool of himself.

“My brother and everyone else in this stupid town believe in the reputation that the gossip press has invented. I never corrected it because I don't care what people think of me. Is that why you dropped me?" 

"I ..., I saw a photo you," said Charlotte. She was so ashamed to have believed Tom that she could hardly stand to look at him.

"What?" Sidney raised his eyebrows in confusion."What photo?"

"A photo of you and Eliza." She tried to hold back her tears, but didn't quite make it. "It shows you both at a romantic table in a restaurant. She holds your hand while you look at each other. Tom showed it to me. He spoke to Eliza the Tuesday after I was in London. They talked about your loving reunion with her.” Her voice trembled, but she finally had to talk to him about this. 

She should have done it long ago ... 

Several emotions appeared on Sidney's face at the same time.He seemed relieved at first, but then he looked absolutely defeated.

"Now I finally understand it ..," he whispered in a rough voice and took a step back. "And you weren't thinking about taking even one of my hundred calls and talking to me about this?"

"I was afraid. I was afraid you'd drop me.” She heard herself how nonsensical it all sounded. Why hadn't she listened to her own heart and let herself be overwhelmed by everything else?

Sidney looked at her for a long time, tried to breathe calmly, but couldn't. Then he swallowed hard, and his voice was barely audible when he spoke again.

"Crowe asked me to go to the restaurant with him that evening since his date has canceled for the night. We talked about the club all evening, and when he went to the bathroom, Eliza suddenly appeared. She wanted another chance, but I said no. When she touched me - when she reached for my hand, I thought of you. How cold her touch is compared to yours. It was the final conclusion of a terrible chapter in my life. And apparently the beginning of a much worse one."

His chin trembled, he turned his face away from her because he could not suppress the pain and tried not to make himself completely ridiculous and to burst into tears in front of her. 

So he didn't see her face go pale.

It had all been a lie. She had hurt him, in the worst way, and for no reason. How could she ever make up for this?

She wanted to reach for him, but his body seemed so tense, his posture was so dismissive that she didn't dare.

"I didn't know ... I thought ...," she couldn't make a complete sentence, the blood roared in her ears and she felt sick.God, what had she done?

Sidney snorted, he couldn't look at her, he was too hurt.

"You could have asked me. You could have known, after what was between us two in my apartment, that I am not the man that Tom represents me.” His voice cracked with suppressed anger and pain."How could you believe for a second that I would be sitting at a table with Eliza. I told you what happened between us, you know more about this time in my life than anyone else. You really thought I would go back to her after the weekend with you?”

Slowly he backed away as Charlotte shrank with every word he said."You should have answered the phone.I would have told you that it was something special between us. That I felt like the first time since ..., I don't know, probably since my mother's death, that I could trust someone, which is damn difficult if you were betrayed like me. I would have told you that I -. "

He stopped, breathed heavily, and refused to say the words.

He loved her, but he wouldn't tell her.

Desperate, Charlotte took a step forward. The knowledge of how she had treated him hit her hard and tears ran down her cheeks.

But Sidney backed away, turned, and walked down the street without another word.

"Charlotte, are you okay?"

She tried to control herself, but she couldn't.

James had been looking for her since she hadn't come back and had seen the end of the argument between the two.He wanted to comfort her, but Charlotte stared at him wildly.

"Just leave me alone, James, please."

It was also his comments that had made her so unsettled and she hated herself for listening to him.

She wanted to be alone, curl up in her bed and never get up again.

Sidney was right. 

Why hadn't she asked him about it?Why had she been so stupid?

Now she had lost him, the man she loved with all her heart, and it was her own fault. 

She reached her apartment almost apathetically, sat on her couch and stayed there.

How could she ever face him again?

Sidney would probably never forgive her.She had seen his eyes before he turned away from her.

He had looked so hurt, so humiliated - and so incredibly sad. 

Charlotte slowly slid to the side, buried her face in her hands and cried hopelessly.


	22. Furious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this 😊.  
> And I'm sorry, they will have to suffer for a while longer ... 😥

Sidney quickly approached his brother's house. He was so angry that he didn't notice Arthur running after him.

"Sidney ...," he called out of breath."Wait for me, please."

Sidney didn't slow down, but he turned his head.Arthur had to grab and pull on his arm to stop him and for a moment he was so breathless that he couldn't speak.

"Did you know about that ? About that photo?"

Sidney’s voice was dark and angry, but Arthur didn’t back away.

"Yes, I knew about it. Why do you think I called you a hundred times? I wrote to you and I was even in London last week, but you didn't open your door or you weren't home, I don't know."

Sidney frowned in annoyance. He hadn't wanted to speak to anyone and therefore ignored everyone, apparently that had been wrong.

"I swear I'll give him a punch he won't forget. What have I ever done to make him treat me like this?"

Arthur didn't know, he had never really understood Tom's jealousy of Sidney.

"It's in the middle of the night, the house is dark, and Mary came home last night. If you go in there now you will wake up the children in the end.” He was still holding his brother by the arm, but let him go now that he could see that Sidney had heard him.

He breathed heavily, stared at his brother's bedroom window, and then turned away.

"I'm going to give him a punch anyway ...," he muttered to himself and stopped when Arthur stood in front of him again.

"Please Sidney, come home with me. You can sleep on my couch and tomorrow we will go to Tom together.” Arthur didn't want to leave his brother alone today, he was afraid of what he would do.

"No, I want to be alone." Sidney shook his head, but Arthur didn't let him go.

"I understand that, and you don't have to talk to me, but I won't leave you alone." He sounded really worried and Sidney hesitated.

It would probably be better not to be alone, because he had an overwhelming urge to find a bottle of whiskey to numb his emotions and hit anyone or anything.

Without a word, he turned in the direction of Arthur's apartment and heard his brother sigh in relief.

A short time later he was sitting in Arthur's living room with a cup of tea, staring out the window at the dark sea.

"What are you going to do now?" Arthur had been silent for a long time, but he also wanted to help his brother.

"I'm going to Antigua the day after tomorrow," Sidney replied absently and quietly.

"Oh, ... so you won't stay here and talk to her?"

Sidney slowly turned his head and looked at his brother's worried face. He didn't answer.

"Listen to me, Sidney.She ..., she made a mistake, but you know what Tom is like.When he is fixated on something, he no longer talks about anything else. That's why Mary left. They argued terribly - because of you, but Tom is Tom.He never got over the fact that you are so much more successful than he is and that you look better.” Arthur grinned wryly, but Sdney grimaced and looked at his tea.

"Why didn't she speak to me?I called her countless times ... ".He sounded incredibly sad, his eyes shimmered with tears and he stared out of the window again.

"She really thought you were with Eliza. I tried to speak to her, but she said she didn't have a chance against a woman like her anyway, so it wouldn't make sense to try at all.”

Sidney scoffed, this was total nonsense.

"How could she believe that? I told her everything about Eliza and me, everything."

"I dont know. But she was completely unsettled, the rumors about you ..., Stringer - Tom. I think she no longer knew what to believe." 

It was quiet again for a long time, and Arthur could hear how restless and choppy Sidney's breathing was.He assumed that his brother was trying to suppress his tears and his heart ached for him.

"How long will you be gone?" He finally asked, knowing that there would be no point in trying to persuade Sidney to stay.

"I don't know ..., preferably forever." 

Arthur leaned forward thoughtfully.

"You know you love her, don't you?" When Sidney didn't answer but nodded slightly, he continued."She loves you too, I know that, and even if she made a mistake, those feelings won't go away."

Now Sidney turned again and his angry, hurt eyes met his brother's.

"You don't know what she said to me. When I came here to ask what was wrong.” The memory of her words still hurt, and he had to tense every muscle to keep from trembling."She said it wasn't anything special between us, that it was just a one-night stand."

Arthur hissed, that was really nasty.

"Don't you think she just said it to break any connection with you?That she wanted to drop you so you couldn't drop her first? To protect herself?"

Sidney shook his head.

"That doesn't matter anymore. I have good reasons why I don't let anyone get too close to me.Even you, Diana or Mary. It's more than difficult for me to trust someone, but I trusted her.”

His voice broke and he turned away.Arthur knew how painful this all was for his brother.

"But she didn't trusted me ...," Sidney whispered softly, completely broken.

"This may be. And nobody says that you have to forgive her immediately. But don't just go away completely. Take your time to think about it, but come back again.And above all, finally talk to Tom, but please, without hurting him." 

Despite everything, Sidney laughed briefly, even if it sounded pretty sad.

"Thank you, Arthur, this means a lot to me." 

They remained silent for the rest of the night, but stayed where they were.At some point Arthur fell asleep, but Sindey stared outside all night.

He couldn't wait to finally get on the plane. 

—- ~ —- 

It was damn early when Sidney and Arthur entered Trafalger House.They had been on a short walk, Sidney had fetched a large wad of papers in his hotel room and now he looked pretty determined.Arthur was worried about Tom - well, at least a little. 

In the kitchen they met a tired-looking Mary, whose face immediately brightened at the sight of the two brothers.

"Sidney, Arthur. I'm so glad to see you both here,” she said smiling and hugged Sidney.

He replied to her greeting, but then looked around.

"Is Tom up yet? I have to talk to him."

Mary sighed and her face darkened again."He is in his study.Diana should be here right away, I asked her to take care of the children today because I want to talk to him in peace, but of course he had to work a bit first.” 

Without answering, Sidney walked down the hall, he heard the two of them following him, but he paid no attention. Now that he was here, in his brother's house, his anger returned with full force.

Tom was sitting at his desk, but got up enthusiastically when he saw Sidney.

"Sindey ...," he started smiling, but Sidney cut him off.

"I want to see the photo," he said gruffly, and Tom's brow furrowed.

"What photo, brother? I don't know what you mean, but I have some blueprints for the construction of the conference rooms here. Would you look at them please?”

Sidney tensed, this man was driving him crazy.

"The photo, Tom," he called angrily and loudly."The photo that you apparently showed everyone here and that broke everything."

"I don't know ..." Tom started confused, but Mary groaned in frustration and picked up his phone.She typed quickly, passed it to Sidney and Tom's face brightened again.

"Oh, the picture of you and your dear Eliza?She has ...".

He didn't get any further since Sidney took two quick steps towards him."Don't you dare call her _mine_ again, Tom. I swear to god ... ".

Arthur cleared his throat quietly when he saw Sidney’s hand clench into a fist.Sidney stopped, looked briefly over his shoulder, and then took a step back.

"Arthur asked me not to punch you, that's the only reason why you're not lying on the floor now." Sidney growled darkly and menacingly and Tom winced.“If you ever talk to anyone about me again, no matter what topic, I can't guarantee anything. You will stay away from me and you will stay out of my life."

Sidney only looked briefly at the picture, then deleted it and threw Tom's phone on his desk. 

"Sidney, what does all this mean?" Tom sounded shocked, he didn't understand anything.

"Did you really think I would go back to Eliza? I've told you several times that I'm done with her, we're divorced. But you can't stop spreading rumors about me, lying and nonsensical stuff.You showed Charlotte the damn photo and told her a lie about our loving reunion.” He almost shouted the last sentence, his temper was as thin as paper.

"Charlotte?" Tom laughed lightly, but uncertainly."What does dear Charlotte have to do with it."

Mary, who had been silent all the time, was snorting now.

"You really don't understand anything, do you, Tom?" 

"No, I don't and I don't care," Tom answered almost offended, pointing to the stack of papers Sidney had put on his desk. "Are these the investor contracts you should look at?"

"No." Sidney took a deep breath and took the package."This is something that I prepared months ago, but I never discussed it with you. But now is the right time."

"What is it?" Tom sat expectantly in his chair, apparently forgetting the conversation they had just had. 

"We're done, Tom." Sidney's voice was dark, everyone could see that those words were difficult for him, but he had to do it. "I am done with you. I was at your bank and your accountant months ago.”

To Tom's surprise, Sidney put a stack of contracts on the table and spread them out in front of him.

“With these contracts, the spa will become an independent company and will run on Arthur and Diana in the future. All installments for this project have been paid, the spa is going well and will finance itself. It is the same with the restaurant, it will run entirely on Mary in the future. You'll sell the club to Crowe, he'll give you a decent amount, and with that money you'll pay your share of the Denham Place project." Sidney cleared his throat briefly, but continued to speak. "I negotiated a new loan for the resort and the wellness hotel with a decent interest rate, the loan also includes the mortgage for this house and the rate for your outdoor sauna that you have previously paid through the Café. You will pay the installment alone, with no help from anyone.If you leave everything the way it is now and just let it work, you can easily pay the loan rate.” 

Tom looked at all the papers in confusion, his face blushed with every document and he breathed wildly.

"What's all this about, Sidney?"

"As I said, we're done. I don't want to have anything to do with you from a business perspective. I also ask you to keep yourself out of my life. Completely."

Sidney stood at the desk with a blank face and broad shoulders, he knew everyone was looking at him and he heard Mary sob.But he had to do that now. For himself.

"I will leave England on Tuesday and be away for the next few months.You will sign the papers today and I will deliver them to London tomorrow. And that's it." 

"Sidney ...," Tom called as he turned to go, but Mary got in his way.

"We'll miss you here," she said crying and hugging him. "Please don't stay away too long and come home soon."

Sidney hugged her tightly, just as he hugged Arthur, who had been sitting in an armchair all the time.

"Don't forget what i said last night. Take your time, but don't run away ....".

Arthur spoke softly so no one else could hear him and he saw Sidney nod slightly.

"I'll try," he murmured, turned to the door, and then stopped.

Georgiana stood there, her eyes sad and tears shining in her eyes. She had written to him that she would be here this weekend, but he had just scanned her message and hadn't responded.

"You're disappearing again?" She sounded resigned and Sidney knew he was disappointing her.

"Yes."

"You go home?"

Sidney knew she was talking about her home, Antigua, but in some ways it was his home too.The place where he could flee ...

"Yes."

"For how long?" Georgiana tried not to cry, so her expression was rather hard.She had thought it was nice since he had been feeling happier lately and that he was going to go away made her sad.

"I ... I don't know.A while ....".

With a short nod, Georgiana turned to go, but Sidney quickly came up to her.

"Wait, I ...," he stopped and sighed, but Georgiana reluctantly turned back to him. "You now have three weeks of school and then more than a month off. I thought ... I thought maybe you'd like to come to me then?I will book you a flight and we can spend the time together." 

Would he really spend more than a month with her?

Without a word, she ran to him and threw herself at him. She hugged him tightly and whispered softly.

"Thank you Sidney. I would love that."

Sighing, Sidney kissed her head, smiled slightly at her despite everything, and left the room with her to say goodbye to the children.

This was going to be the hardest part, and he didn't know how to get through it.

"Sign the damn papers, Tom."

Mary stood in front of his desk like an eagle, watching her husband's every move. She would make sure that all contracts were duly signed.

"I'm not going to sign that. He takes away half of my company ... ".Tom was overwhelmed, but Mary leaned over the table and glared at him.

“It's _our_ company, Tom, we all contribute to the success and the division is fair. It is the way it should always have been, and you will agree to it, or you can also sign a divorce application tomorrow.”

"But Mary ...," Tom jumped up in horror, reached for his wife, who, however, only pointed to the papers with raised eyebrows.

Reluctantly, Tom signed, then threw the pen on the table and disappeared outside.

He needed fresh air. 

—- ~ —- 

"Are you ready?"

Babington leaned against a pillar in front of the hotel and looked closely at Sidney. 

He looked bad, his eyes hidden behind the sunglasses again, but his jaw was obviously gritted.He was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at the Café, which you couldn't see, but it was that direction.

Sidney breathed deeply and deliberately, the farewell to the children had been hard, his head ached like hell and he wanted to get out of here.

Still, he couldn't move - deep inside he knew why, but he didn't really want to admit it.

He hoped to see her one last time, only from a distance, just to be able to look at her again. 

"Sidney ...?"

However, when he heard her low and husky voice behind him, he jumped in alarm and backed away.

He definitely didn't want to speak to her.

Charlotte hadn't slept. She had gone to the beach in the dark, and sat in the damp sand for a long time.Then she went to the hotel to talk to Sidney.

When she arrived, he stood frozen in front of the entrance, staring at the Café. She had watched him for a while before she found the courage to go to him.

He looked so sad and destroyed, tears streamed down her cheeks again, even though her eyes were already swollen.

Her heart dropped as Sidney backed away, but she took a few steps forward.

"Please Sidney, talk to me ...".

For a moment it looked like he was just going away, he took another step back, but then he stopped.

"About what?" He hissed hoarsely. "There is nothing to say. You made up your mind without talking to me, so what good would it do now?" 

Her red eyes and the thick tears that ran down her cheeks were unbearable for him. He longed to put his arms around her and protect her from all sadness, but he couldn't.

He was hurt, destroyed and torn apart. And it was her work ...

"I'm sorry ... I saw the picture of you and Eliza and felt so betrayed, I ...".

Betrayed?

He had been nothing but honest with her, she had no idea what betrayal was.

"You could have trusted me," Sidney called disappointed, but tried to control his voice. "You could have asked me, one call, one word, and I would have got into my car and come to you ...".

Since his voice broke, he stopped, ran a hand over his mouth, and turned away from her."I gave you everything I have - showed you everything I am, but it wasn't enough. You trusted everyone else more than me, what's the use of talking?"

Several tears fell from under his sunglasses, Charlotte wanted to reach for him, but he couldn't stand her closeness. He turned, ran quickly across the street to Babington's car and got in. 

Charlotte wanted to go after him, but Babington stopped her.

"Don‘t ...," he said softly, even if the expression on his face was very serious. "There's no point talking to him now.You have to give him time, let him get out of here first, out of England, so that he can think clearly again."

He knew Sidney well and saw how much she hurt him. Still, he liked Charlotte, she was nice, and he also understood that she was unsure about his past. He wanted to help both of them, but now was definitely the wrong time.

Charlotte looked at him in panic. "He goes away?He is leaving England?"

New tears started to fall and she covered her mouth with one hand. "But where is he going?And when will he come back?"

There were too many questions, too many painful insights, and Charlotte had the feeling of just breaking apart. 

"He will go to Antigua for a few months."

Babington grabbed her arm as she swayed slightly, but he knew he had to go now, otherwise Sidney would get out of his car and walk to London on his own feet.

"Months?" The thought of not seeing him for several months made her writhe in pain and Babington led her to a nearby bench.

"As I said, Charlotte, ... give him time."

He squeezed her shoulder sympathetically, made sure she wouldn't faint, and then said goodbye.

Moments later, Charlotte watched Babingtons car leave Sanditon, and Sindey disappeared with it.

How could she live without him?

It was her own fault that he left her, she hated herself abysmally for it, but she vowed not to give up.

She would give him time and then she would fight for him.


	23. Antigua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry it took me so long. Unfortunately I didn't have time to translate between my children, my husband and work.  
> Enjoy reading ...

"Charlotte?"

Startled, she looked up at the sound of her name and blinked in confusion.

She didn't know how she managed to get up this morning. Every step had been painful, she had gone absent to her office in the local library, but hadn't even managed to turn on her laptop.

Now she saw James standing in front of her with a concerned face and she sighed.

"What do you want here, James."

He came closer to her table, but her dismissive attitude startled him.

"I wanted to check on you. You just disappeared on Saturday, you didn't reply to my messages and I was worried."

Charlotte scoffed.

She had been to the train station this morning, watching the train depart for London. She wanted to get on the train to go to him, but Babington's advice sounded in her head.

"I'm fine," she said sarcastically, angrily opening her laptop.

James frowned, but a knowing expression appeared on his face.

"It's because of Parker, isn't it? I told you, he'll hurt you. I knew it ...".

She got up angrily. "You don't know anything, James." Her hands were shaking, she wanted to throw something."He didn't hurt me. _I_ hurt _him_ because I listened to you and your stupid rumors, to Tom and his stupid assumptions. I listened to everyone, just not to myself."

James laughed."I don't think Sidney Parker can be hurt at all, so don't worry."

Charlotte went pale, but she straightened up and her eyes blazed with rage.

"Don't you dare talk like that about someone you don't really know at all. You've been beating Sidney since I was here in Sanditon, even when I didn't even know him.” Slowly, she walked around her table and faced James.“Sidney Parker is the most honorable man I've ever met, he's friendly, empathetic, and courteous.He is also indescribably tender and loving, and if you ever say a single bad word about him, I will never have anything to do with you again."

James backed away, he had never seen Charlotte like this before.

"He's a ...," he started, but then stopped when Charlotte raised her hand.

"I don't want to hear what you think he is. He is the man I love and whom I hurt terribly because of stupid rumors and lies."

Her voice broke and tears ran down her cheeks for the hundredth time, but she wasn't ashamed of it.

"You love him?" James sounded surprised, his expression was disappointed and Charlotte laughed humorlessly.

"Yes James, I love him and I probably lost him. But it's my own fault, he didn't do anything wrong.I don't know what was between the two of you, but he's not the man you think he is.Maybe you should have - in all the years you've despised him - bother to get to know him properly."

James snorted.He definitely didn't want to get to know Sidney Parker better.

"No thanks ...".

Charlotte sadly stepped back.She had made so many mistakes ...

"I'm sorry. I always liked you, James, you were a good friend when I was new here, but I ask you now to leave me alone. I have let myself be influenced enough and in the future I will listen to my heart instead of everyone elser."

Charlotte suddenly remembered what Sidney had said to her once.When she was sitting almost naked on his countertop and she had trembled from longing for his touch, he had said she was doubting herself too much.

And he was right.She had doubted herself and her own judgment. But not longer. She would never allow anyone else to influence her in this way again.

James gritted his jaw angrily, turned, and left the library without another word.Exhausted, Charlotte sank into an armchair, hid her face in her hands, and tried to calm down.

She had no idea how she should endure not being able to speak to Sidney for month, not being able to explain to him why she had done what she was doing, and not being able to ask his forgiveness.

She had to tell him what was in her head, otherwise she would explode.

Tired she sat behind her desk, took a sheet of stationery from a drawer and started to write. 

—- ~ —- 

Sidney entered the noble office building with vigorous steps, did not pay attention to the receptionist but went straight to the elevator.He knew where to go and wanted to get it done as soon as possible. When he entered the 8th floor, he was immediately looked at with curiosity.

She was standing in the hallway, which was definitely right for him. He had no need to be alone with her.

"Eliza."

He was a few steps away, he spoke clearly, but not out loud.

At first she seemed puzzled, then a dazzling smile appeared on her face.

"Sidney, darling ...".Her smile faltered as she noticed the angry expression on his face, apologized to the assistant who was half a step behind her, and sent him away.

"Stop that," Sidney growled, he really didn't want to be here.

"Come to my office, Sidney," Eliza started sweetly, but Sidney stopped her.

"You photographed me?" He saw no point in exchanging courtesies and got straight to the point."You ambushed me, watched me and then sat down with me without an invitation.And to top it off, you let us be photographed and sent the picture to Tom. Why the hell are you doing this, Eliza?"

Angry, Eliza looked around and tried to grab his arm.

"Stop screaming like that," she whispered, but couldn't reach his arm as he pulled back.

"Why Eliza?Why are you doing this? I asked you to leave me alone ... ".

Eliza got nervous, Sidney looked really angry and she didn't know how to deal with him.

"I said I don't just give up like that. Tom has always been a fan of mine, I thought he could help me get you back."

Sidney gritted his teeth. If she were a man, he would like to knock her down ...

"I will not come back to you, accept it. If not, I'll be happy to share my version of our marriage and divorce, I don't think your fans would be excited about that.” 

By now they were being watched by probably everyone on the floor, and Sidney saw how Eliza's father came vigorously closer.

"Is there a problem here?"

Sidney snorted. He really hadn't missed this man.

"When your daughter finally leaves me alone, there won't be a problem," he said loudly and firmly, turning to Eliza and taking a deep breath.

"We're done. Stay away from me, stay away from Sanditon and everyone I know. Once and for all."

With a last look, Sidney turned to go as she called after him.

"It's because of the girl, isn't it?The one who was standing so close to you at the event in Denham Place."

Sidney looked over his shoulder, his heart ached at Charlotte's mention, but his face remained blank.

"No, it has nothing to do with her. I just don't want you in my life anymore, I don't want anything to do with you."

He saw Eliza nodding hesitantly and briefly, but it was enough.Relieved, he went to the elevator and felt as if at least one of the many weights was being lifted off his shoulders. 

—- ~ —- 

The morning before he went to the airport, he walked slowly through every room of his apartment.

There were memories of her everywhere.

It was worst in his bedroom, but also in his shower, in the living room and of course in the kitchen.

He still saw her sitting on his countertop, felt her hot, beautiful body against his and saw her trusting look.

At that time, she had trusted him completely. Maybe he shouldn't have let her go to Sanditon alone. 

Dejected, he left his apartment, carefully locked the door, and got into the waiting taxi.He didn't have much luggage, his laptop bag and a suitcase.One of his plantations included a small house, it was nothing special and was inhabited by his steward, but he had set up the top floor for himself a few years ago.

He would stay there and concentrate on work, because everything else was too painful to think about. 

The flight lasted 8 hours and 30 minutes, most of which Sidney looked out of the window.Due to the time difference, it was early evening when he landed in Antigua, but it took another two hours with a rental car to reach the first of his own coffee plantations.

He was terribly tired and had a terrible headache, but he went for a long walk through the coffee plants. It was warm, the smell was strange, but good, and he enjoyed the silence. 

Over the next few weeks, he had made many appointments to take some of his own beans out of the NaturalBeans Labal and then transport these beans to England himself.He had to negotiate the amount he could take out without harming the other business owners, and then work out the new processing methods and changed transportation routes.

He had hoped that would distract him so much that he could just forget Charlotte. 

But the very first night he walked among the coffee plants, he realized that it was impossible.Because he remembered the situation in which he had talked to her about his coffee beans.He remembered her saying that she would like to see his plantations someday, and a hard lump immediately formed inside him.

Would he be able to forgive her?The more important question was probably whether he could ever trust her again, and he really didn't know the answer. 

—- ~ —- 

"I'm home again."

Georgiana's loud voice echoed in the airport hall and Sidney looked around quickly.But since it was quite late, there were only a few people here and nobody seemed to care.

"Oh Sidney, have you had anything to eat in the three weeks you've been here? You look totally miserable."

"Thank you very much, Georgiana," said Sidney sarcastically, hugged her in greeting and pulled her close."And I'm fine ...".

Georgiana looked at him skeptically, studied his face attentively and raised his eyebrows at his slightly longer and thicker beard. 

"I dont believe a word you say.At least you're tanned from the sun here ...,” she said, hesitating briefly.But then she continued talking, she would not be intimidated."In contrast to you, Charlotte looks like dead.She is pale as a sheet, her clothes hang on her body because she hardly seems to eat anything - apparently like you - and she's always tired." 

Sidney stiffened, the smile on his face disappeared, and he winced as if she'd hit him.

"Sorry," murmured Georgiana, carefully stroking his arm.

"Not necessary." Sidney tried to smile, but the sadness remained on his face.

Three weeks, and he was in no way better.He distracted himself by work during the day, but lay awake at night. She tortured him, even in his dreams, and he just couldn't get over her.

In the beginning he had tried to numb his feelings with whiskey, but it hadn't worked. It had made him angry and troubled, so he had thrown away all of his bottles. Over time, however, the anger was gone, only the sadness remained.

And an overwhelming longing.

His longing for her grew stronger every day, it was a physical pain and was unbearable. He missed her - he missed her terribly. But his head struggled, he kept reminding himself of what she had said to him - that she hadn't trusted him, but all it did was make him feel worse.

It was hopeless and he didn't know what to do about it.

"When will we go to my plantations?You said you'd explain something about the business to me."

Thankful for her distraction, Sidney nodded and led her to his rental car. She had several suitcases with her and he wondered what she had packed.

“Next week we will drive the two hours to the LAMBE-Plantation.We will stay there for two weeks and I will teach you everything I know."

Georgiana happily hopped next to him like a little child.She was looking forward to her time here and couldn't wait to see her parents' house again. 

She liked the house Sidney lived in and she had to admit that he really put a lot of effort into her. They spent a lot of time together, talking about the past and Georgiana's school, only on the subject of Charlotte and Sanditon did Sidney block each time.

It was only the evening before they wanted to go to Georgiana's plantation that she found him at the large desk in his room and saw a new opportunity.

He was sitting in his comfortable chair, staring absently out of the window, holding a white envelope in his hands. The envelope was only small, it looked as if it had often been twisted between his fingers and slowly she came closer to the table.

"What's this?"

Sidney winced when he heard her voice. He hadn't heard her come into the room.

He hesitated, moved the letter in his fingers again before sighing softly.

"The letter came a week after I was here. I haven't read it yet ... ”.His voice was just a soft murmur.He looked sad and Georgiana would have loved to help him.

"It's from Charlotte, isn't it?"

Now Sidney took the letter in both hands, stared at the beautiful, small and expressive handwriting and then nodded.

"Yes ...".

"Maybe it would help to read what she wanted to tell you. I don't know anything about such things, and I know that she hurt you. But that, Sidney, what you're doing here isn't the way you should live. You don't live, you just exist and I know it's the same with her.”

Sidney took a deep breath, almost mashed the letter in his hands, and then slid it back into one of the drawers.

"I know. And yes, I have to read it, but I'm not ready yet."

The next day they drove further inland for two weeks.Sidney’s work was pretty much done, he had negotiated a fair contract with his business partners here, and the freight route for his beans to Sanditon to his own roaster was also set.As of the new year, he would market the yield from two of his five plantations alone, but that meant that at some point he would have to go back to Sanditon to renovate the roaster and put it back into operation.

He was afraid to go back, so he postponed the return. At the same time, however, he would have preferred to get on a plane to see her as soon as possible, since she accompanied him in his thoughts every minute of every day. 

Unnoticed by Georgiana, he had put Charlotte's letter in his travel bag.Since the letter arrived here, it had been lying on Sidney’s bedside table at night. He desperately wanted to know what it said, but had stubbornly refused to give in to his heart.

But it was time - he had to choose. He had known for some time that his feelings for her would not go away. He also knew she had made a mistake, but if the other person was worth it, one could forgive a mistake.

And he was sure of one thing. Charlotte was definitely worth it. 

So he sat on the veranda of Georgiana's parents' home a few days later, after Georgiana had gone to bed some time ago. He had twisted the letter in his fingers for almost an hour before deciding to open it.


	24. A small step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please forgive me for taking so long. My family demands my attention, but as a compensation for the long wait, this chapter is very long.  
> I really hope you like it ...

He took a deep breath before carefully opening the envelope and pulling out two folded sheets of paper.Slowly and with trembling fingers, he unfolded her letter while his heart was racing with nervousness.

What had she wanted to tell him?

The two sheets of paper were written in her small, neat handwriting. Sidney closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and started reading.

_Sidney,_

_I don't know if you will read this, but I have to write it._

_I have to tell you I'm sorry._

_And I am - I am completely sorry._

_I never wanted to hurt you so much and that I did tear my heart._

_But I want to explain to you how it all came about. This is not an excuse for my harsh and lying words to you, but you need to know how all of these things happened._

_I have never left home before the collage. My father is proud that he has never been to London in his entire life, let alone in another country, and so we children were always only at home too. When I came to Sanditon for a research assignment, I was impressed by the town. It was Tom and Mary who took me in after my hotel reservation was lost, and I'll always be grateful for that._

_I stayed in Sanditon, rented a apartment and accepted the job in the local library.It was a first step to get away from my home and it was not always easy for me._

_But I settled in and then one morning I went to work in the beautiful Café and lost my heart._

_The first thing that fascinated me about you before I even saw you was your smell.Since the morning in the Café, your smell has stayed with me - if I close my eyes I can still smell it._

_I think I fell in love with you the moment you turned to me and I saw you properly for the first time. Not just because you look beautiful, but because ... I don't know, it was like I was drowning in your eyes. But I had heard the rumors about you before I even met you and it made me unsure right from the start.I never thought that a man like you would even notice a girl like me._

_When I bumped into you in the bar - felt your body against mine for the first time, your warmth flowed through my entire being._

_I haven't got the feeling of you out of my head again._

_You trusted me, you told me your story, and then, on the lake in front of Denham Place, I thought you'd kiss me.I wanted it - wanted it so much, and that really confused me._

_As I've told you, I've never been in a real relationship. The first guy I slept with was one of my classmates. I was seventeen, had no experience about anything, any more than he did, and it was absolutely terrible.Thank goodness I went to the collage shortly after this experience so that I never saw him again._

_The second was one of my fellow students. He was just as bad as the first one, he was drunk and it was over in minutes. That was four years ago, and since then I've never come close to a man again._

_What triggered your touch in my body and head was completely new to me._

_Your body that pressed me against the wall, your lips that devoured me, and your hands that burned into my skin were different from anything I've ever experienced, and it completely overwhelmed me.It was so wonderful ...._

_I was completely lost in you, but the thought of being a conquest, the thought that it couldn't mean the same thing to you as to me tore me apart, so I ran away from you that evening._

_Again and again your actions were so completely different from what I heard about you, but Tom, James and also some of the residents here told me almost every day what a womanizer you are.It confused me and my head struggled against my heart._

_I was so nervous when I went to London.My heart was racing on the train and my hands trembled.To see you again, to know that you would go to the book fair with me, stirred me up. You are a fascinating, but also so mysterio_ us _man. I was completely unsure._

_But then I was with you and all uncertainty disappeared.Being around you calmed me down, it made me strong and I felt better than ever in my life._

_What remained was the desire to get close to you, to perceive your smell, to feel your warmth, but also the fear that you could not feel the same._

_I ran away again. Your rough voice, your dark eyes, your touch - all of this makes me lose control, and that scared me ..._

_But you followed me, you were strong and sure, and you gave me the strength to be brave._

_The time in your apartment - how am I supposed to find words about this?_

_The way you looked at me, your hoarse words and the heat of your hands ...., your mouth, your lips_ ....

_Never in my life have I felt so loved, felt so safe and at home as with you in your apartment._

_Your strong arms that carry me, the way you loved me, the things we talked about. It was indescribably beautiful ..._

_I should have stayed with you, I shouldn't have gone back to Sanditon without you.After you drove me home I was full of hopes and dreams._

_But as soon as I left the house the next day, my whole world was falling apart bit by bit._

_First I met Edward and Clara and had to listen to the conversation between them. They talked about you - Edward was jealous because Clara talked about how much she would like to sleep with you.Edward said that one of the maids in the hotel cried her eyes out because you would simply have disappeared after a night with her.The thought that you might have slept with her the last time you were in Sanditon - after kissing_ _me was the first hit of the day._

_The second came from James._

_I don't know exactly where the deep dislike between you two comes from, but his bad opinion of you has clouded my acquaintance with him very much. I always thought of him as a friend, a kind person who helped me settle in here. But obviously I was wrong._

_He was worried - rather convinced - that you would hurt me, that you would drop me.He asked me to google you to find out more about you and while I was waiting for your call I did._

_It was a mistake, because everything that appeared under your name was an obvious lie. But I didn't see it it at the time, my head was too confused._

_After your loving message the next day, I decided to talk to you about these things as soon as you were here with me. You calmed me down, I felt safe again ..._

_And then Tom destroyed me._

_On the phone he spoke to Eliza about the fact that you both spent the evening together, that you took her to your apartment - your cave - as Tom called it.He said that your heart had always been_ _hers, no matter how hard you would fight that fact, and that no other woman would ever have a chance with you. He showed us the photo of you and Eliza, and everything else disappeared._

_Mary defended you, but I couldn't hear it anymore. The pain inside of me numbed everything and I broke apart completely._

_The horrible words I said to you came from my sister. I had called her crying that night, she was concerned and wanted to protect me from being hurt. She sincerely asks you for forgiveness, she is really sorry that her advice was so wrong._

_But I was the one who made the mistake. None of what I said to you was true. It was all a lie. I was so distraught and hurt that I turned my heart off and let my mind take over._

_But that between us was something special.It is something special._

_The connection that I feel with you is the strongest and the most special connection in my whole life._

_I made a terrible mistake - I didn't trust you and I sincerely apologize._

_I know that's not enough and I know I've hurt you in the worst and most humiliating way._

_But I also know that I love you._

_I love you with all my heart and soul - with everything that I am, and I won't give up - I can't._

_Georg asked me to give you time.Time to get away from it all and recover from what I did to you._

_And I will, I'll give you time. But I can't give up._

_I beg your forgiveness for everything I have done. I want to fight for you because I know that life without you is not a real life._

_I love you, Sidney._

_Nothing will change about that, even if you can't forgive me. I just want you to know that._

_Forever Yours_

_Charlotte_

Sidney sat in the dark for a long time, holding her letter in his hands and crying silently.

He shouldn't have left her alone.

His mind was torn between understanding, pain and anger.

Understanding of her confusion, her insecurity and her need to protect herselve.

Pain that she hadn't trusted him, that everyone in this town was talking about him as if he wasn't human, and the pain that they had lost each other because of a lie.

And anger. 

Overwhelming anger at the impossible circumstances she was exposed to, anger at everyone who had spread lies and rumors about him.Anger at Charlotte for not talking to him and anger at himself for never opposing all of these claims about him. 

After reading it the third time - after imagining what she had to endure in those two days, he could understand her. The way she had spoken to him at the Promende was still more than painful and he just flinched at the memory, but he understood the meaning behind it.

Had it been true what everyone had told her, it would have been the best way to remove him from her life and protect her herself.

But it hadn't been true. 

He had to talk to her, he had to see her.

The need was overwhelming, he got up hastily, carefully placed the letter on the table and weighed it down with his cigar box.

Then he ran into the room where he slept and got his laptop. 

—- ~ —- 

"I don't mind, Sidney, for the hundredth time." Georgiana groaned as she got out of the car and walked annoyed towards Sidney’s house. They had driven back to his plantation on this morning earlier than planned and Sidney got on her nerves.

He didn't want to disappoint her, but he had to settle his business affairs here. 

With a soft laugh, he followed her inside, carried her suitcase, and was surprised at himself.

Since reading her letter, he felt lighter, as if he had lifted another weight off his shoulders.He was still hurt and a little angry, but he felt different somehow.

"Is that really a laugh on your face?" Georgiana grinned and raised her eyebrows, and Sidney laughed even more.

"I can look brooding again if you like it better," he muttered, put down her case and turned around. When he left her room, he heard her murmur softly.

"No Please not. I much prefer the smiling Sidney ... ". 

No sooner had he entered his study than he saw another envelope on his desk. His steward must have brought him here, but when he picked it up he saw that he was from Babington.

It was an Wedding invitation, the wedding date was in less than three weeks and despite everything, Sidney had to grin. The next moment his phone rang, and for the first time since he got here, he answered his friend's call. 

"How long are you going to hide?"

Sidney laughed at the greeting.Babington had kept sending him message, but he hadn't answered. Even Crowe had written to him, which was completely against his usual uninterested nature.

"I'm not hiding, I'm working."

"You don't have to lie to me. It doesn't work.” Sidney heard a grin in Babington's voice and snorted.

"Thank you for the invitation, Georg. I'm very happy for both of you, really.” It was the truth.He was happy for his friend that he could marry the woman he loved.

"You'll be there, right?" It sounded uncertain what Sidney gave a little stab.

"Of course. I'm not going to miss your wedding just because my life is shit.” For a moment there was no sound, then Sidney heard his friend clear his throat.

"She was here - in London," Babington said carefully, and when Sidney didn't answer, he continued."She asked about our organization, about our work and about you - what your duties were before you left. She wanted to know what countries we have been to and what you have done in your years abroad. She spent the whole day here and talked to Ruth for a long time."

"Why?" asked Sidney.He sounded curious, but also tense. So she asked about him?The thought that she had gone to London to find out more about him, something that was true, made him smile. He could visualize how she and Ruth talked about him together.

"You know why, Sidney." Again Sidney didn't answer and Babington sighed impatiently."She made a mistake, yes. But she was manipulated,” he said insistently."The photo, Tom's constant talk about your reputation, James interference.She is young, inexperienced and insecure. How should she deal with something like that?At least you have to admit that your personality and the rumors around you are intimidating. But she noticed her mistake and is now trying to make amends. This isbrave and strong, and it shows how much you mean to her.”

That could be true. She had written that she loved him. He had read these lines countless times and his heart was racing every time. 

“I never did anything about it - against my reputation, I mean. Not because I was proud of it, but simply because I didn't care.” Sidney sounded frustrated and resigned."But she believed it, and it made her not trust me."

"You have to stop this, Sidney." Babington sighed on the other end of the line."What happened, happened, you can't change it anymore. But what you can do is talk to her. Stop hiding, Sidney, and talk to her."

"You're right ...," Sidney started, but was interrupted.

"I'm always right," said Babington impatiently."So you should get your butt on a plane as soon as possible.Saturday is the partial opening of Denham Place, I've written it to you more than once and I expect you to be there. I will not accept a no."

"Are you done?" Sidney asked, slightly amused, and heard Babington growl.

"Only when you say you're coming," he grumbled and Sidney laughed.

"I've already booked a flight. Georgiana agreed to return to England earlier than planned, even if I had to promise to bring her back here.”

Babington sighed in relief. "When will you be here?"

"We land on Thursday evening, I think we will go to Sanditon on Friday morning."

The thought of going back and meeting her made his heart race and miss a few beats at the same time.

He didn't know what was going to happen, he just knew he had to see her.

“Very good, the opening starts on Saturday at 11:00 am.You will be impressed, the whole project has turned out really well, even if the garden and the conference rooms are not yet completely finished. Saturday is all about the museum and the library.”

Sidney hesitated briefly, but then cleared his throat.

"Uhm, you should do me a favor," he began, and when Babington hummed in agreement, he continued."I bought a few things and stored them a while ago, could you have them brought to Sanditon?They are for ... for Charlotte ... ". 

Babington didn't ask what it was about.He only asked for the address of the storage room and promised to do everything else.

When Sidney hung up, he saw Georgiana standing in the door.She watched him and Sidney raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"What?"

She grinned and came up to him."You love her, you know that, right?"

Sidney just kept looking at her, apparently the fact was obvious.

"I can hear it from how you say her name. You also finally read her letter. I know you think I didn't notice you put it in your travel bag, but you keep spinning the paper around in your fingers. Why can't you just forgive her?"

Sidney sighed.Was it that easy?

"I don't think the question is whether I can forgive her. Because I think, at least in part, I already have.” He paused and took her letter out of his pocket."The question is whether I can trust her again, whether I can forget what she said - even if it was just a lie."

"Do you know what I think?" She asked, looking at him challenging. "I think that's nonsense.You love her - and she loves you.So the question is whether you want her in your life or not. Nothing else is important." 

—- ~ —- 

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?" Mary looked worried, but Charlotte didn't even turn to look at her.

"No, Mary. I have to sort the diaries and chronicles on the shelves. There is still a lot of work to do ... ".

"But you're getting thinner and thinner ... and you're working too much.I have passed the local library a few times late in the evening and have always seen light in your office.”

While Mary was sitting at the provisional desk Charlotte had set up in the Denham Place library, Charlotte knelt on the floor, sorting out several rather old-looking books.

In the past few weeks, she had signed loan contracts for diaries and family chronicles with many citizens of Sanditon and also from the surrounding towns. One of the high wall shelves was only filled with these books and there were a surprising number of contemporary witnesses.

"I'm fine ...," she murmured unconvincingly now and turned around so as not to show her face.

"You're not fine, my dear ...," sighed Mary, she was really worried about her young friend.She slowly looked around the room.The opening of Denham Place was next Saturday.The bookshelves in Charlotte's archive were almost full, it was an impressive collection, and Charlotte had labeled the shelves with beautiful, engraved signs.

In the middle of the room were three beautiful glass showcases that Charlotte had commissioned herself and had also paid for with her own money.Inside were the library's most valuable books.

In the middle showcase were the parts of Susan's Gutenberg Bible, but the other two contained Sidney’s books.

On the left, Charlotte had placed the edition of Pride and Prejudice Sidney had bought for her.Next to it were the other books he had lent her from his own collection.Sidney’s Chaucer was in the right glass showcase.

Indirect lamps were installed in the glass showcases, which did not harm the old paper, but illuminated the books in a wonderful way.It looked really beautiful, and since some of the townspeople had provided other antiques, the room had an incredible charm.

In one corner stood two mannequins without heads, one of whom wore a beautiful ball gown from the 18th century.The other mannequin was wearing a man's clothes, breeches, a snow-white shirt with a vest and a waist coat.Both mannequins held their hats in their hands, and the man also had a stick. 

The other two rooms, where the old books could be viewed and read, were decorated with various paintings, old wooden chests and other things, only the suitable furniture was still missing.Charlotte had searched everywhere for old chairs and tables that would fit in these rooms, but the prices for these things were incredibly high. 

"Tom asked me again to ask if you want the furniture from the upper study in Trafalger House after all.He wants to make them available."

Charlotte looked up, but shook her head.

"No. This is Sidney’s mother’s study. It should stay as it is, he loves the room.” Her voice was choked, saying his name alone hurt and her eyes burned. She couldn't turn away quickly enough.Mary had seen the look on her face and stood to get closer to her.

"Dear, how long will this go on? You are tired, overworked and nobody ever sees you laugh. How long are you going to torture yourself?” Concerned, Mary reached for Charlotte's hand and helped her get up. Her face was pale, her eyes tired and she swayed slightly.

"... until he forgives me," she whispered softly, detached herself from Mary and went to one of the shelves to place the heavy family chronicle that she had just pulled out of the box.

She heard Mary take a deep breath and searched for another topic to talk to.

"How are you and Tom doing now?"

Laughing softly, Mary sat down on one of the chairs Esther had found in the attic of the house."He tries very hard. Of course he is still offended that he now only owns the resort, but he now has more time for the children and actually tries not to lose us.” 

Charlotte listened absently, she was really exhausted.

"Tom was almost offended when you refused his invitation to stay at Bedford Place last week. I had to remind him that the house wasn't his at all.” Mary watched Charlotte stumble out of her own thoughts and look at her.

"I didn't want to offend him. But it wouldn't have been right, the house belongs to Sidney ...,” she swallowed and went back to the box on the floor to get another book."I was fine in the hotel, you don't have to worry."

"Did you find all the answers you were looking for?"

Charlotte had never said why she went to London.Only that she wanted to look at the showcases before she paid for them, but that didn't take five days.

She had been there because she felt like suffocating here in Sanditon.She had never missed a person as much as she missed Sidney in her life.

At night she woke up crying and calling out his name. Whenever she entered the cafe, she felt a stab inside because his smell was absent. She longed for the sound of his voice, which she could only hear in her dreams.But in her dreams she only saw the hurt look on his face, she saw his tears that fell from under his sunglasses and when she woke up she always felt as if her whole being was completely torn apart.

In London she had booked a hotel near Sidney’s apartment and walked to the house - where she had spent the best hours of her life - every day.

She had also been in the office building where his and Babington's aid organization was based and had spent a whole day there.

The days in London hadn't really helped her mood, least of all the hours she'd stared up at his empty apartment, but she had to do that. 

Thank God Ester saved her from answering Mary's question as she slowly entered the room.

"I thought you were here," said Esther, shared a worried look with Mary, and then went over to Charlotte, who was kneeling on the floor again.

"Can I have a word with you?" Charlotte looked up at Esther's nervous tone. Esther was never really nervous.

"Of course, is there a problem?" She raised her eyebrows, immediately concerned, but Estehr smiled slightly and reached for her hand.

"No, it's just ... Georg and I are getting married and I didn't know how to tell you." Esther stopped when Charlotte's face twisted with the first real smile in weeks and she hugged her.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you, for both of you. This is so wonderful ...".It was true - Charlotte was really happy for Esther. Apparently her friend was really worried about how she would take the news, because now Esther exhaled in relief.

"Phew ..., I was really worried.He asked me two weeks ago, but you walk around like death and then you were in London, ... we will get married the Saturday after this weekend.” 

Charlotte decided to ignore the insult and concentrated on the part with the wedding.

"So soon?It's not even two weeks ...".

"Yes, I know, but we don't want to wait." Esther smiled and Charlotte had to admit that she envied her friend a little bit for her obvious happiness."This Sunday we are going to hold an engagement party here in the garden, then the stress is over with the opening and we can concentrate on ourselves."

"Oh," Charlotte murmured, her brow furrowing.When Esther looked at her questioningly and worriedly, Charlotte shrugged apologetically.

"I won't be here on Sunday ...," she said softly, turning back to the bookcase.

"Why not?" Esther asked, glancing at Mary, who had been listening quietly and now shrugging her shoulders.

Charlotte looked up and the familiar sadness was on her face again.

"I booked a flight for Sunday morning," she said quietly, looking towards the showcases."If Georgiana hadn't written to me that he didn't even want to talk to her about me, I would have left long ago.But Georg said I have to give him time and I have. But I can't wait anymore.” Her voice broke and her tears slowly flowed down her face, but she kept talking without looking at anyone."I have to go to him, at least I have to try to ask his forgiveness ...". 

Estehr was about to walk up to hug her when Charlotte got up vigorously and rubbed her wet cheeks with both hands.

"But I will definitely be here for your wedding. And I'm really happy for you, Esther.” Everyone in the room knew her smile wasn't real, but at least she tried."Can I help you with something? I would like to be there for you on this special day.”

"Thanks, honey." Esther hugged her tightly, then took her hands and squeezed them. "It would be nice if you were my maid of honor ...".

She didn't get any further because Charlotte laughed and hugged her again.

"This is a great honor and I would very much like it." This time her laugh was real, she was really happy for Esther. 

They talked about flowers, about clothes and about the ceremony.Mary told of her own wedding, but Charlotte only listened with one ear.

If Sidney didn't forgive her, she would never experience anything like that.The only man she wanted to be with was him. 

It was late afternoon when Babington arrived at Denham Place.

Two trucks followed his car, and before he entered the big house, he told the men exactly where to put the truck's cargo.

"Charlotte?" He called when he entered the library and smiled when he found Esther too.

"Darling, how nice that you are already here. I thought you would come tomorrow?” Esther went to him, Georg kissed her briefly, but then looked at Charlotte.

"I have a delivery for you.And before you ask, no, the furniture is not from me ... ". 

Charlotte had got up from the floor in surprise, hearing several steps in the hallway and then noises from the rooms to the left and right of the library.With big eyes and quick steps, she went outside, entered the room on the right, and put her hands over her face.

She immediately started to cry uncontrollably, her thin, narrow body trembled with suppressed sobs and her legs became weak. 

The men carried several pieces of furniture into the two rooms, old chairs with velvet upholstery, two large desks made of dark, heavy wood, antique sofas and smaller round tables with matching armchairs.

It was the kind of furniture that stood in the study in Trafalger House that Sindey's mother had used.It was the kind of furniture she had talked to him about for these rooms and Charlotte knew Sidney had bought the things and sent them to her. 

Shivering, she sank into the first armchair she could reach, took off her shoes, and curled up.

Was that a sign from him? Or just a nice touch?

Her thoughts were spinning. She didn't care that everyone was watching her, and didn't respond when Mary knelt before her.

The need to go to him, be close to him, and finally speak to him was overwhelming, and if she could, she would have boarded an airplane at that moment.

"Charlotte?"

At last she heard Mary's worried voice, but she didn't look at her.

"I'm fine ...," she mumbled absentmindedly, her thoughts completely with Sidney.

He had remembered their emails when they were talking about this furniture.For weeks she had tried to find such furnishings, but to no avail.And now the two rooms were full with it. 

She didn't notice Babington, Esther and Mary talking about her and finally decided to leave her alone. 

She stayed in the armchair all night, thought of him and finally fell asleep with exhaustion.

Four more days. In four days she would get on a plane and go to him. 

She didn't know what she would do if he couldn't forgive her.But she had to try - she had to try to get his heart back.


	25. Coming back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this - please enjoy reading

He stopped outside his apartment door, but Georgiana sighed impatiently, so he slowly unlocked his front door.

The memories of the time with her that flooded him when he returned to his apartment after almost 6 weeks made him sway slightly and his body started to burn.

They were good memories, the best in his life, and every one of them was locked in his heart.

He walked slowly through each room again, remembering the passion and pure love they had shared.He also remembered her trust in him when she decided to come here with him.From what she wrote to him about her previous experience with men in her letter, it had been a big step for her, and she had completely trusted him then.

Slowly he went to his bedroom, sat on his bed and took a deep breath. He couldn't smell her anymore, the sheets were washed and her smell was long gone. But he could still see her lying there ...

He wanted that back, he wanted her here - here with him.

"Why do you have so many books?I can't imagine how you sit and read here ... ".

Georgiana's voice tore him out of his thoughts, he sighed, got up and went to her in his living room.

"I like to read and do it often, as you can see here," he grinned, looking around.The large gaps on the shelves showed that some books were missing and he imagined Charlotte putting them on the shelves at Denham Place.

"I'll go for a run in the park. I want to leave early tomorrow morning to avoid traffic, so you should rest. Are you sure you don't want my bed? I can really sleep on the couch too.”

Sidney raised his eyebrows as Georgiana rolled her eyes theatrically and dropped back.

"You ran across the plantations every day, your feet must be sore," she groaned and sat up to look at him closely."Besides, you only want to get to Sanditon early to get to Charlotte as soon as possible."

Even while she was talking, Sidney turned to change. She was right, but he didn't want to admit it.

He missed her.Knowing that she were only a few hours' drive away made him burn with longing and he knew he had to see her. 

As he ran through the park until he was completely breathless, he wondered how she was.

How have the past few weeks been for her?

—- ~ —-

"Ah Charlotte, you're already here." Mary entered the Café, a little breathless, and smiled when she saw that Charlotte was already sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee.

In the past few weeks, Mary had caught her studying the coffee machine many times, trying to brew the coffee the way Sidney did, and by now she was really good.

"Morning, Mary ...," said Charlotte, trying to smile and failing miserably.

"Did you sleep at all?" Mary approached worriedly and noticed her tired eyes.“You shouldn't have had to do this working shift for Arthur.After all, it's Friday and you also have to do your real job."

"I slept last night," Charlotte said firmly, she didn't want Mary to be so worried about her. “I got up early this morning, have worked for the publisher for a few hours, and I'll do the rest this evening. I like being here ... so I don't mind."

She looked around slowly.Since Sidney had left she had spent a lot of time here in this Café. At the small table by the window, she had read several books about growing coffee and the different ways of roasting beans. It made her feel like she was closer to Sidney, even though it hurt terribly to know that she wasn't actually with him just because of her own stupidity.

To change the subject, she got up and headed for the old, large coffee machine.

"Would you like some coffee?I grinded the beans more slowly this morning, I think it tastes really good.”

Without waiting for an answer, Charlotte started making coffee for Mary and was happy to be busy.Already yesterday she had packed her suitcase, her plane ticket and passport were on her kitchen table and even if tomorrow should have been an important and actually nice day, she could hardly wait for the opening of Denham Place to be over.

She hadn't dared to ask, but since no one had mentioned Sidney, she assumed that he would not return from Antigua for the opening ceremony.

How differently all of this could have happened if she hadn't acted so wrong.

"Mmhh," Mary hummed after taking a sip."You're almost as good at it as Sidney is."

Charlotte stiffened, turned and went to the back. She remembered the coffee he had made for her in his apartment and what followed, and her inside twisted with longing for his touch.

To distract herself, she focused on work and was friendly to the guests of the Café. She did not take a lunch break, but sat in the office of the Café during this time and answered a few more emails with questions about tomorrow's opening ceremony.

It was all she could do to distract her thoughts from the feeling of loss, but it worked poorly.

He was always there, even here at this desk memories of him flooded her, but she made herself stop crying.

She would go to him soon, that was all that was important. 

—- ~ —- 

With a queasy feeling, Sidney followed Georgiana through the door of Trafalger House.She had been waiting for him when he brought his travel bag to his hotel room, but since she would stay with Tom and Mary as always, he had to help her with her many suitcases. 

They heard Arthur's voice from the front door, and he didn't sound happy.

"No Tom, can we please stop this?You won't be building an outdoor hot tub.You don't have the money for it and you won't get a loan either."

Sidney groaned.Arthur seemed to have taken on his previous job now to keep an eye on Tom.But Tom surprised him.

"You're right, forgive me Arthur. I just thought it might be a good idea."

"Ok, can we continue with the conference center now?I switched my shift in the Café to go through the contracts with you today, and you know that I have no experience in such matters.” 

Sidney stood smiling in the doorway, watching his brothers.He had missed Arthur, and Tom ..., well.Tom was not a bad person, he was just a bad brother.

At that moment Arthur looked up, noticed him and immediately started grinning broadly.But before he could get up, Tom followed his gaze and jumped up enthusiastically.

"Sidney," he called, walking a few steps towards him."Oh ..., now everything will be fine.I am so relieved that you are here.I knew that the whole day tomorrow will only work if you are here - and here you are. You have to look at this ... ". 

Sighing, Sidney shook his head, stepped past Tom and hugged Arthur.

"It's nice to see you back, Sidney." Arthur spoke sincerely and he held him a little longer."You were missed a lot here.How ... how are you?"

Arthur looked at him attentively and raised his eyebrows.

"I'm fine, ... well ...," Sidney grimaced, cocked his head, and looked at the floor for a moment.

"You came back, that's a start." Arthur gave him an encouraging smile, he would have loved to talk about Charlotte, but since Tom was excitedly rummaging through the papers on his desk, he didn't.

"Sidney ..," Tom started, but was interrupted.

"I'm definitely not here for you, Tom. I don't want to have anything to do with the conference center either, that's your business.” He immediately saw the surprise of Tom's face - the man was incorrigible."I am glad to see you and would like to go to the beach with your children for a few hours. Nothing else."

Tom stiffened and nodded seriously."Of course. I am also glad to see you. The girls should be home right away, Diana picks them up from school, and Henry and James are in the garden.”

The reunion with the children was loud and full of laughter.

Henry refused to let go of him so that he was sticking to his back as Sidney knelt on the ground to hug Alicia and Jenny.

While he was away they were the only ones he had written to, he had sent them books and little gifts and had written reports about the plantations.

"Can't we go with you next time?Then it wouldn't matter how long you had to be away because we would be there with you.” Alicia looked at him with wide eyes and held his hand.They were on the way to the beach, only James had stayed with Diana.

Sidney laughed, but at the same time shook his head.

"You have to go to school, honey. Besides, your mom and dad would miss you terribly, don't you think?”

She thought for a while before Jenny came to her aid.

"Uncle Sidney just has to stay here," she said, nodding her head."A lot of people missed him when he was gone - all of us, Mum, Arthur and Charlotte. She looked so sad very often and didn't laugh at all."

Now she looked at Sidney, who needed everything not to flinch at Charlotte's mention.

“If you're so missed, you can't go away. You just have to stay here." 

Sidney looked at her lovingly for a moment, then bent down with Henry on his back and kissed her head.Then he turned, kissed Alicia too, and sighed.

"I'm trying ...," he murmured.

He hadn't seen Charlotte yet and he hadn't dared to ask where she was.The local library was closed, which he had checked with a quick glance, so he suspected she would be in Denham Place.

Should he go there already today?He didn't know what to do and tried to focus on the children.

He decided to drop by the Café later.He wanted to look at the upper rooms and draw a floor plan of it, and then consider whether he was ready to face her. 

—- ~ —- 

The moment he entered the Café, he knew she was there.

The hair on his arms straightened, his skin started to tingle and his heart was racing. It was as if he could feel her presence without even seeing her. He could also smell her - he could have smelled her everywhere.

Just as he was wondering whether he was ready to meet her or whether he should leave, she came out of the storage room and stops in the middle of her movement.

Unable to turn away, he looked at her. When his eyes met hers, the few guests in the room disappeared - everything disappeared, leaving only the two of them.

Her big eyes looked tired, they weren't as bright as before, but Sidney still felt he was drowning in her.He had the feeling that he could look into her soul. 

For Charlotte there was nothing else but his dark, intense eyes. She felt that her heart would stop beating and there was only one thought in her head.He was here ...

She hadn't known he was back in England, hadn't known he was in Sanditon, and seeing him again after so long was an indescribable feeling. Her eyes filled with tears, her body started to tingle, and she couldn't look away from him.

Even though he was standing far from her, his smell hit her and she couldn't help but take a deep breath.How much she loved that smell ...

Charlotte wanted to say something, wanted to greet him, but could not make a complete sentence.

"You are here ...," she whispered tonelessly, swayed slightly and reached for the counter in search of an hold.

The sound of her barely audible voice vibrated in Sidney's body.She sounded so sad ...

He slowly let his eyes slide over her face, but returned to her eyes, which stared at him steadily.

"Damn thing". It was only when Mary swore because she was having trouble with the coffee machine that Sidney turned away hesitantly and rather unwillingly.He walked slowly behind the counter, came up to Mary and saw the surprise in his sister-in-law's eyes.

"You will never learn to be gentle with her, will you?"

"With her?You're talking about the machine, right?” Mary smiled and hugged him in greeting. "How nice that you are here," she said honestly."Are you all right?"

Sidney didn't answer, but he nodded slightly.

"I was just on the beach with your children. I missed them very much.” Sidney laughed softly, concentrated on the coffee machine and Mary looked around.She spotted Charlotte only a few steps away, looked back and forth between her and Sidney for a moment, and realized that she had just interrupted them.

Charlotte was still looking at him, she hadn't moved and her hands were shaking slightly.Her dark eyes shimmered damply, attentively absorbing his every movement, listening to the sound of his voice and shuddering at the dark sound of his laugh.

It seemed as if he could feel her eyes because he turned his head briefly over his shoulder to her.His smile faded a little, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightly, he swallowed, and his body tightened.

Suddenly so many thoughts raced through Charlotte's head and her legs became weak.

How she would like to go to him to slide her hands over his tense muscles.How she would like to put her lips on the furrow between his eyebrows to calm him down.

And how she would like to hide in his safe and warm embrace to finally feel complete again after weeks of sadness and turmoil. 

Slowly she took a step towards him, but was aware that Mary was watching her.What should she do?

Sidney’s body screamed in pain and longing.

She looked so small and vulnerable, her eyes were full of tears and he was sure that she had stared at his arms.Was she longing for his embrace as much as he longed to hold her?He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to hear her voice and look at her closely, but not here.

So he cleared his throat, stepped back, and ran a nervous hand over his face.

"I ... I'll go upstairs. Let me know if you need help.” He turned hastily, left the Café through a side door and climbed the old stairs to the second floor. 

Charlotte stared after him motionless.

She didn't want him to go, just looking at him calmed her heart and she wanted to hear his dark, deep voice.

"What is he doing up there?" She asked, hearing herself that her voice was hoarse.

When Mary noticed, she said nothing, just smiled gently at her and put her hand on Charlotte's arm.

"I do not know. But the Café is not very crowded today.You could go upstairs and ask him if you want."

Charlotte's brow furrowed, her eyes wandered to the door through which Sidney had disappeared, and she hesitated only briefly.

Then she nodded, ignoring Mary's gaze, and slowly went upstairs.

Would he get angry if she followed him?She didn't hope so, but the attraction and desire to be around him was too strong. 

She quietly opened the old, antique wooden door, entered the upper rooms of the old house and immediately smelled its scent again.

He leaned against the door to one of the sea view rooms. She was sure that he had heard her, but he didn't move.Slowly and quietly she went closer to him, had to fight the urge to put her hand on his back and admired the sight of him.

As usual, he wore tight, dark pants and a dark blue shirt with short sleeves.He was even thinner than before he went to Antigua, his shape slim and athletic and Charlotte suspected that he had done a lot of sports.

Hopefully he didn't box anymore, but his face had no bruises this time. 

Of course he had heard her. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking, so he hid them in his pockets.

Being close to her overwhelmed him, he was afraid that he would just pull her into his arms, so he stayed where he was.

"Is ... is that the room where Tom locked you up?"

Her soft voice trembled, but Sidney’s heart leapt.She actually remembered it?

"Yes ...".

His dark voice sent a shiver down her spine and Charlotte grew sad. It was unbearable to be so far from him.

"The view in this room is really nice, it would be a perfect bedroom."

Charlotte frowned in surprise. "You want to set up an apartment here?"

Her thoughts immediately began to race. Would he move here? Of course it would make sense if he wanted to set up the roastery.

The hopeful tone in her voice made him slowly turn to face her.His dark eyes met hers and Charlotte felt like she was drowning in him.

"Maybe ...," he murmured a little hoarsely, his eyes dropped to her lips for a moment, but then he cleared his throat and turned away. 

To be honest, he had dreamed of moving into this house with her in the long, dark nights of the past few weeks. While he watched her look at him and how she got closer and closer as if she was searching for his closeness, he thought about whether this dream could be possible.

“I always imagined that I would live here someday - in this house. To roast my own coffee beans and sell them here in my Café.I just don't know ...,“ he broke off, looked briefly in her direction and saw the tears in her eyes.He looked uncertainly at the floor, grimaced and didn't know what to say.

He wanted these things with her.

He looked at her again and let his eyes wander freely over her shape.

She was really beautiful, but tears ran down her pale cheeks, her chin trembled, and her hands were clenched nervously.

Maybe he should just be honest with her. After all, it was misunderstandings and unspoken things that brought them here.

He took a deep, shuddering breath, straightened up, and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I wanted all of this with you," he said quietly and in a rough voice."On the way back to London after driving you home, I thought about that. About setting up the apartment here, reconstruction of the coffee roastery and living here with you.But, ... well, that didn't work well."

Charlotte could hardly pull herself together anymore, she felt like she was breaking apart.She broke all that ...

"Sidney," she whispered in tears. What had she done to both of them with her insecurity, distrust and belief in lies?

"Please ... please listen to me, Sidney." She saw the sadness in Sidney’s eyes and took another step towards him.Now she was standing right in front of him, feeling the warmth of his body and since he did not withdraw, she kept talking.

"Did ... did you read my letter?" She wasn't sure, but when he nodded and his face twisted into an almost imperceptible smile, she sighed in relief.

"Yes ... yes I read it," he murmured softly. He remembered every word that she had written.

"I'm so sorry, Sidney. I have never experienced anything like the weekend with you. The fair and the time in your apartment were the best days of my life. It was absolutely beautiful, everything - every second of it, and I will never forgive myself for not trusting you afterwards.” Charlotte sobbed, her whole body trembled and she cried silently. But she didn't care. She wanted him to see everything she felt and sank into his dark eyes.

"I'm so ..., so sorry for what I did afterwards, and I hate myself for it. Every word I said outside on the promenade was a lie.The time with you was special, of course it was. You loved me, we loved each other, and that feeling was just beautiful. To be with you is all I want and I miss you terribly ... ".

Her voice broke, her lip trembled, and she could see Sindey's eyes filling with tears.

He was still leaning against the door frame, he looked at her, and his hands were buried deep in his pockets.The look on his face was so terribly sad, but his eyes shone with hope and that gave Charlotte the strength to keep talking.

"I love you, Sidney," she whispered, biting her lip briefly."I love you."

She could see Sidney shiver, his eyes closed for a moment, and a tear flowed down his cheek, which he angrily wiped away.But he didn't look away from her.

"I hurt you to protect myself because I was so stupid to believe your brother and everyone else here.I believed Tom when he said you were on a date with Eliza, I believed him when he said you were a ..., a womanizer, and I believed him when he said your heart was always hers. I was stupid, so terribly stupid ... ".

She stopped talking and hid her face in her hands. How should he ever forgive her? 

Sidney could hardly stand the sight of her and pulled away from the door frame to come even closer to her.

"Please don't cry, Charlotte," he whispered, put his hand on her arm and trembled at the touch of her skin. His body immediately reacted to her and the longing burned inside him."I can't bear to see you like this.Besides, not everything is your fault and you are definitely not stupid ... ".

She looked up with trembling lips, he was so close that his breath brushed her face and his smell flooded her senses.

"Please forgive me, Sidney," Charlotte whispered almost imploringly."You mean more to me than anything else.You are everything for me ..., I love you, and I will always do that."

While she spoke, she had grabbed his arm, she felt his muscles and his incredible warmth. She would love to sink into his arms.

"Charlotte ...," Sidney whispered in a rough voice, his face full of emotions.He believed her, believed every word that she said.The touch of her hand on his arm burned like fire, and all he wanted was to pull her into his arms.

Overwhelmed by this strong need, he hesitated, and before he could do anything, Charlotte let him go.

“I booked a flight for Sunday. The plane flies to Antigua at 10:00 a.m. I wanted to fly to you ... fight for you, but now you're here. Tomorrow is the opening of Denham Place, but I ask you to meet me tomorrow evening.No matter where or when, I don't care. I'll wait for you, and if you don't forgive me and don't come, I'll get on the plane on Sunday. This is your hometown, this is your Café, and I don't want you to have to see me if you don't want to.”

Sidney frowned. Did she really book a flight to get to him?

"All I ask of you is to give me a chance. Just a drink, a conversation, anything.” Charlotte waited nervously for his answer and her heart skipped a beat when Sidney nodded.

"Thank you ...," she breathed, unable to find her voice and tried to take a deep breath. 

She couldn't help it - she had to feel him, otherwise she would simply cease to exist and slowly rose to her toes.She heard Sidney’s breath catch and closed her eyes.

Her closeness was overwhelming, her smell intoxicating, and Sidney closed his eyes.A moment later, her soft, full lips hit his cheek, they both shivered, and his hand settled on her waist by itself.

It felt like coming home, like a big hole inside him was closing in that very second.

When she pulled back, his head followed her movement. He didn't want to lose the touch of her lips, he loved the feeling.

They shared a long look, but then Charlotte stepped back.She knew that it would not be so easy to get his forgiveness and she wanted to give him time. 

She left with a heavy heart and hoped that he would think about what she had said. 

Agitated and tense, Sindey leaned back against the door frame. He didn't need any more time.p

He knew what his heart, his body and his soul wanted.

He wanted her.


	26. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all and your great comments. I hope you like this chapter and you will stay with me for a while longer.  
> I thank you all ....

Sidney leaned with his back against the wall - opposite the open door to the library in Denham Place - and looked at her. 

He had crossed his legs at his ankles, buried his hands in his pockets, and tilted his head slightly to one side.

He had been standing like this for at least an hour, noticed nothing and nobody around him, and followed her every move.

Mary and Tom's children had pleaded with him on the beach the previous day to spend the evening at Trafalger House and read a bedtime story to them.So he had dinner with his siblings and Mary and then disappeared into the children's bedroom with his nieces and nephews for two hours.

James was the first to fall asleep, with his head on his chest, then Henry, but Alicia and Jenny wanted another story from him.

He couldn't refuse them, even though it was late for them and they should have been asleep long ago.So it was after 10 p.m. when he was finally able to say goodbye.

His heart was pounding wildly on the way to the hotel and he had walked past Charlotte's apartment.

There was no light on, everything was dark, so he had just stopped on the opposite side of the street and looked up at her windows.

Since he didn't know which of them was her bedroom window, he had looked at each one in turn.He had never been to her apartment before, so he didn't know what it looked like, but imagined it to be very cozy.

He had thought about ringing several times, but remembered how tired and exhausted she had looked in the Café. He didn't want to wake her when she was sleeping, even if he was sure that she wouldn't mind.

He wanted to hold her in his arms - longed for it, but Saturday would be hard and she needed her strength.

He didn't go to the hotel until after midnight to sleep a little himself.He wanted it to be the last night he spent alone. 

It _had_ to be the last night, everything else would be unbearable and cruel.

Understandably, everyone was more than nervous the next morning, and when Sidney came back from his morning run on the beach, he saw Charlotte walking with rapid strides toward Esther's apartment.

She had suddenly stopped, looked around, and found him without any problems, even though he was quite far away. 

Apparently she could feel his presence as much as he could feel hers.

Their eyes had met and despite the distance, Sidney had seen with what expression in her eyes she had looked at him.With hope ...

He had smiled at her, his head tilted slightly to the side, and she had answered.Her smile had been a little uncertain, but she had bitten her lip.

Sidney hadn't been able to say whether on purpose or not, but he couldn't get it out of his head.

Now it was just after noon, the opening had been successful so far and Denham Place was well attended.

As Babington said, Sidney was impressed.

Esther had built the museum with great attention to detail, a few murals were restored, but the majority of the rooms remained as they were.But the most impressive thing was the library.

The bookshelves were full, the collection of private diaries and family chronicles was amazing, and the charm of the rooms was very special.

The collection of historical works was also really outstanding and he was proud to see how Charlotte was congratulated on her work all morning.

However, there were so many people here that there was little time to look around in the library in peace.In the early morning, Sidney strolled through the museum, talked to Esther and Babington, and then took pity on looking at the half-finished conference center with Tom.

But he was drawn back to her, which was why he had been searching for a good place from which to watch her. 

She stood in front of the three glass showcases and looked beautiful.

She was wearing a white dress with long sleeves and a ribbon around her waist. It had a fairly high neckline, reached to her knees and flowed around her body without showing any of her curves. 

But Sidney knew her curves, he knew what the fabric was hiding, so it was very seductive.

Again she wore the balerinas she had worn in London, which is why she seemed really tiny. But she stood upright, was friendly to everyone and smiled.

Sidney just couldn't stop looking at her.When she explained something and waved her hands wildly, he had to smile.He followed her with his eyes when she went to one of the shelves and his heart tripped every time she stole a look in his direction.

If it were up to him, the day couldn't pass quickly enough.He wanted to be alone with her - tell her that he missed her, that he loved her, and that he wanted to hold her in his arms every night.

But he had to wait, which is why he just looked at her.

"She's really a pretty woman, isn't she?"

Susan's voice sounded close to him, Sidney’s face twisted into a wry smile, but he kept his eyes on Charlotte.

"Yes ...," he murmured softly, with a a little laugh in his voice."Yes, she's beautiful."

Susan looked at him attentively.She had been watching him stand there for a while and she just couldn't hold back.

"But it seems that something is bothering her. The glow that was in her eyes back then in London has been missing for some time."

Sidney turned his head now, but only for a brief moment.He raised an eyebrow questioningly, then turned back and snorted softly.

"You're not very subtle, Susan."

"Maybe I don't want to be subtle at all." Susan laughed."Maybe I just want two people who belong together to be together."

Sidney smiled unintentionally, he glanced briefly at the floor, then turned his attention to Susan.

"You think we belong together?" He asked almost amused.

With a confidential wink, Susan leaned closer to him. "I don't think it - I know it." She whispered, but her eyes shone."And you know it too, so why are you standing out here watching her secretly instead of just going to her?"

Laughing softly, Sidney looked back at Charlotte, who at that very moment turned away from him and bit her lip.

"I'm not watching her secretly," he said in a dark and rough voice. "She knows exactly that I'm here.She constantly bites her lip ... ".

Susan giggled."I was worried you wouldn't forgive her for her mistake."

Sidney looked up in surprise.Had Charlotte spoken about him to Susan?

"Don't look so surprised. She didn't say a word, I only know the little that dear Georg told me."

Sidney shook his head, but his expression was serious. 

"I forgave her. It was a mistake, but she apologized. She is suffering and I never wanted that, I just needed a little time."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Susan seemed confused, the attraction and tension between the two of them was almost palpable.

Sidney was silent for a moment, bit the inside of his cheek, and then sighed deeply.

"I am waiting for the visitors to disappear and that she is alone. I couldn't let her go if I went to her now ...".

He sounded almost desperate with longing, hadn't moved all the time, and was now staring back at her.

Susan squeezed his arm sympathetically."Don't forget to look at the glass showcases ...", she muttered with a wink before leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Charlotte nervously checked her watch for the hundredth time.When was that day finally over?

Her body felt like it was burning, Sidney’s eyes, which watched her all the time, made her skin tingle and she could hardly concentrate on the questions of the visitors.

Hope continued to grow inside her the longer he stared at her. Again and again she looked in his direction, but mostly had to close her eyes when she saw him.

The way he leaned against the wall in dark jeans, a deep blue shirt with rolled up sleeves and a dark gray vest was nothing more than sexy, he looked beautiful and her heart was pounding all the time.

She had thought several times about what she would say to him when he met her tonight, but she kept forgetting the words.

She had slept better last night than she had in a long time, even though she had fallen asleep in her armchair in the living room.Maybe it was because she knew Sidney wasn't far from her.

The smile he had gifted her that morning had given her the strength to make it through the day, and knowing that he was now only a few steps away from her was both at the same time - soothing and disturbing.

Again she bit her lip and turned her head, and when her eyes met his for a moment, she shivered.The expression on his face was intense, he seemed to devour her with his eyes and she slowly loosened her teeth from the soft skin of her lower lip.

She felt as if he could hardly hold back and and the hope grew inside her.

Could it actually be possible that Sidney could forgive her? It was all she wanted and she prayed that he wouldn't refuse her tonight. 

"My dear, this library is absolutly beautiful." With arms outstretched and a bright smile, Susan came up to her and hugged her briefly."You did an excellent job and I really appreciate your dedication to these books."

"Thanks Susan," Charlotte smiled and blushed a little."Without you and Sidney, none of this would have been possible."

When she mentioned Sidney's name, her voice cracked slightly and Susan stroked her arm.

"I have to go now, I have an appointment tonight." Susan looked around again, she hoped she would be back here soon.

"Thank you for being here, Susan.We'll close the doors for today in two hours, so you won't miss much.” Charlotte smiled, glanced at Sidney who hadn't moved, and then swallowed hard.

Susan, who had noticed her look, smiled amused."Don't lose hope, my dear. It is not without reason that a man like Sidney leans against a wall for hours and waits.”

A shy expression fell on Charlotte's face and she looked down."I hope so ..." she muttered softly and choked, then cleared her throat and looked at Susan again.

She could only hope.She had said everything she could to apologize to him. 

Now she had to wait ... 

—- ~ —- 

After the last guests had left, Esther closed the door of Denham Place with a bright smile and turned happily.

"Done," she laughed and Babington hugged her.

Tom cheered and cautiously reached for Mary's hand while Arthur grinned.Georgiana, Clara and Crowe, who had come to Sanditon especially for the opening around noon, had left a while ago.It was Saturday, so the club would be open tonight and they wanted to recover from the boredom in the old walls.

"It was a complete success, thanks again to all of you."

Esther and Babington sat with Arthur on the sofa in the entrance area, Esther copied Charlotte and took off her shoes as she leaned back against her fiance.

"I can't believe we survived this day, we all worked hard for it," said Babington and noticed Charlotte looking around.

When the rooms had emptied, she had watched Sidney reluctantly pull away from the wall opposite the library to follow Babington.He probably had to help him control all the rooms so that no visitors were left in the large building.But although Babington had joined them here in the lobby, there was no sign of Sidney. 

Charlotte stood near the the great stairs and looked up.

She didn't think Sidney had left.Since he had not entered the library all day, she suspected that he might be there now.

Despite he had watched her all day, Charlotte was nervous.She didn't know what was in his head, didn't know if he could forgive her.If he couldn't, her life would end today ... then she would only exist.

With a deep breath she tried to calm her beating heart and then went barefoot up the stairs.

Sidney walked leisurely through the library and enjoyed the silence of the room.He loved places like this.There was something magical about it, the smell of the old leather, the wooden shelves and the paper calmed him down and he took a deep breath.

But his heart wasn't listening.This was Charlotte's library, and she really had made it special.

He stopped in front of the elegant glass showcases.Susan had said he should look at them and when he saw _Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice_ on the far left, he started to smile. It was the first gift he had given her, and she had given the book a special place.Slowly he let his eyes wander further, looked at the _Gutenberg Bible_ in the showcase case in the middle, but when he looked into the glass showcase on the far right, in which his _Chaucer_ was standing, his heart almost stopped.

His eyes fell on the small silver plate on which something was engraved and his body started to tremble.

_This valuable book belongs to a wonderful man, whom I will be forever grateful for his support, his kindness and above all his trust._

_Without him, the library and archive for the history of the local population would never have been possible._

_He owns my heart, my trust and my whole soul. I love you, forever yours - CH_

The warmth that spread through him, the love that flooded him brought tears to his eyes.

That meant a lot to him.The public display of her affection for him so that everyone knew that she loved him made his pulse race.

And then he heard her bare feet on the old stone floor behind him. Goose bumps spread over his body, the fine hairs on his arms straightened up and the warmth inside him became pure heat. 

Charlotte walked slowly towards him and hesitated in the door.

Had he read her engraving?

She knew they were just words, not a proof, but she wanted to tell everyone who was here today that she loved him.

She could see how tense his shoulders were and wondered if he had heard her. His dark clothes made him look somber, but she loved it. He looked beautiful to her. 

"Thank you for the furniture." Her voice was low, one could clearly hear how hard she was trying to speak calmly, and a chill ran down Sidney’s back."They are beautiful, just as I imagined."

Sidney turned slowly. The moment his eyes met hers, everything else disappeared. Nothing mattered anymore, just the two of them.

He smiled when he looked at her.One hand was in his pocket, due to the rolled-up sleeves, she saw his brown, muscular forearms and Charlotte had to swallow.His dark eyes pierced hers, it was almost too much to bear.

"I saw the furniture and thought of you ...," he murmured, hoarsely.

"You did?" She couldn't help but take a small step towards him. The thought that he had thought of her in spite of everything made her inside tingle.

Sidney saw her eyes flash for a moment. He realized how difficult the past few weeks had been for her.

Without a word from him, knowing that she had broken their relationship. It must have been painful, and if he had had any doubts, they would have disappeared in that very second.But he had no doubt ...

He smiled softly and nodded, sucked his lower lip into his mouth and took a step towards her.He had to feel her, the longing for her skin, her smell and her warmth was overwhelming.

"Will ... will you meet me tonight?Just ... just to talk?” She blushed a little. It was like asking for a date, and she had no idea how he would respond.

God, she was really cute when she was nervous. His eyes fell on her lips, they were red and inviting, and he remembered exactly the feeling of kissing her.

"I would very much like to meet with you," he said softly, his dark and rough voice chilling through Charlotte's body and her legs seemed to give way under her.

He would meet her - that was all she wanted, everything she hoped for.

She sighed in relief and closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Sidney ...," she murmured, lowering her head and not daring to look at him as her fingers clawed into the fabric of her dress."I'll be waiting for you in front of the Café ...". 

She stopped when she felt his warm fingers on her hand.

All thoughts disappeared from her head, she only felt the touch of his skin on hers and drowned in his dark eyes. Gently, he released her dress from her grip, intertwined his fingers with hers and slowly pulled her closer to him.

"Charlotte ...".

With a sweet, loving smile, he saw her shiver. His voice was barely audible, a low growl, but he couldn't do more.

All he wanted was her.He had waited all day to have her to himself, and now she stood in front of him with bare feet, big eyes, and trembling chin. 

When her tiny body touched his, he slowly leaned down to her. His eyes grew darker, his free hand wrapped around her cheek, and then - finally - his lips touched hers.

It was a feeling of pure happiness - a feeling of coming home.

As if he wanted to explore her again, he traced the contours of her lips with his mouth and sipped carefully at her.

Lost in that perfect moment, Charlotte swayed dangerously and her fingers closed on the fabric of his vest.

Sidney kissed her gently and tenderly, increased the pressure of his mouth against hers and felt her leg give way under her.He let go of her hand, wrapped his arms around her narrow waist, and hugged her tightly.

Feeling his hard body against hers, his strong arms that were holding her, made Charlotte feel complete again.

While her soft, warm lips parted with a soft sigh, her hands slid across his broad chest and shoulders to his neck.Her fingers gently reached into his hair, Charlotte heard a low moan from Sidney and the sound was so indescribably beautiful that she started to cry with relief.

His lips were still touching hers, but he pulled back a little to look at her. 

"If you _ever_ want to know anything about me, no matter what, just ask me." As he spoke his hot breath brushed her face, Charlotte's lips trembled and pressed slightly against his, but she couldn't move away from him."I'll answer any question you have about me, my past, or anything else.But please never do that to me again."

His eyes also filled with tears, but he looked at her with tenderness.

"I swear ...". Charlotte sobbed, her whole body shivered and she completely lost control.

She cried unrestrained, the pain, despair and exhaustion of the past weeks caught up with her and she clung desperately to him.

Sidney held her close, his arms were tight around her thin, trembling body and he lifted her slightly off the floor.

Charlotte immediately buried her face on his neck, took a deep breath of his smell and pressed her lips to his warm, soft skin.

He smelled of cigars, though she hadn't seen him smoke today, of his earthy aftershave, of the sun and salt water, and only of him.

To be safe and protected in his arms, to be carried by him was her salvation. And then he gave her what she wanted so much that she would have fought for it forever.

His forgiveness.

With his face in her hair, he slowly turned himself in a circle and murmured softly and in a rough, choked voice.

"I love you, Charlotte. I want you in my life - I want us, you and me." 

With heavy, shuddering breaths, Charlotte raised her head, looked into his eyes, and put her hands on his tear-wet, bearded cheeks.She was still crying, but drying his tears and resting her forehead gently on his.She was at eye level with him now, her weight didn't seem to bother him, and she could have stayed like this forever.

"I am yours, Sidney," she whispered. "I've never been as lonely as when you were gone.I love you ...". 

The last words she whispered in his mouth as he leaned forward and grabbed her lips with his. To feel her - to taste her, was indescribably beautiful and with a dark groan, Sidney opened his mouth to gently lick her full lower lip.

But it wasn't enough, his tongue wanted more and was searching for hers.

When he found her, when their tongues touched and they kissed sensually and full of love, they both groaned and lost each other completely.

They didn't know they were being watched, but it wouldn't have mattered.

Arthur couldn't stand it and had followed Charlotte after a while. Now he was standing on the same wall as Sidney half the day, watching his brother with tears in his eyes.

To see Sidney lift Charlotte up so that her bare feet hovered several inches off the floor and her face was at the same height as his was so adorable.The way he slowly circled himself and how they both tried to get closer and touch each other showed how much these two people loved each other. Seeing his brother like that also showed, how much Sidney needed her to break his hard, repellent facade.

As their kiss deepened, Arthur suddenly heard Babington beside him.

"We should give them some time alone. They suffered long enough and more than deserve to lose themself in the other."

Babington's voice was low, but Arthur could hear the joy behind it. Sidney was his best friend - alongside Crowe - and he had wished he could find his way back to Charlotte.

Arthur nodded with a smile and the two turned away, leaving Sidney and Charlotte alone. 

—- ~ —- 

His kiss was slow, gentle, and incredibly seductive.

Sindey's tongue gently licked Charlotte's lips, slid into her mouth and challenged hers. Overwhelmed by his taste and tenderness, Charlotte opened her mouth and let him take her completely.She had the feeling of burning, her fingers gently wrapped around his short curls and she was pleased to feel him shiver.

But when he gently sucked her lip between his and tenderly dug his teeth into the soft skin, she moaned choked and shivered herself.

Slowly she let a hand slide over his bearded cheek, she loved the feeling of his stubble on her palm and kept his head close to hers. She didn't want this to end, loved the way he kissed her so passionately and deeply, and returned his touch in the same way.

He growled as she sucked on his lip, devoured her mouth, and moved his lips demanding over hers.

He leaned down gently to put her on her feet, but Charlotte's bones were too soft.Her hand gripped his hair more tightly, she whimpered in his mouth, but Sidney’s hands were already sliding down over her dress.

He only loosened his grip until he could slide his hot, big hands on her bare thighs under her dress. Slowly, he pushed the fabric of her dress up before lifting her of the floor again.He gently wrapped her legs around his waist and put a hand firmly on her butt.

Panting and with black, burning eyes, he looked at her, ran his fingers slowly over the thin, lace-like fabric that covered her buttocks and admired the sight of her.

Her eyes were only half open, her lips red and swollen, and several curly strands had come loose from her hairstyle.

She was beautiful and sexy and he couldn't help but gently rub her swollen lips with his mouth.

"I missed that," he whispered softly and hoarsely, pressed her body against his and tilted his head to the side. Charlotte's fingertips scratched his beard, the feeling was beautiful and he silently asked her with his eyes not to stop. "I missed kissing you ..., feeling you ... and carrying you in my arms." 

"Sindey ...".

Her fingertips slid slowly over his bearded throat as she leaned forward and brushed her lips over the stubble on his cheek.It was exhilarating to touch him, to feel him ...

"I missed you too.Everything - your strong arms to hide, your deep voice, that makes me tingle, your hands ..., your mouth,“ As she spoke, she sipped gently on his skin, came closer to his mouth, and touched his stubble with her tongue.

The feeling sent a shiver through her body, which was exacerbated by the heat, and her legs tightened around his waist.

"Don't leave me alone again, Sidney, please ...," she whimpered, reached his mouth with her tongue and traced the beautiful shape of his lower lip. "The last few weeks without you were unbearable ...".

She couldn't get any further because Sidney's tongue slipped into her mouth. This time his kiss was hard and demanding, his tongue explored her mouth and leaving Charlotte breathless. 

Only when he sat down did she realize that he had moved.

He slowly sank onto one of the old couches he had bought for her, which stood under one of the large windows.

He held her body in his lap and since her legs spread over him she was pressed directly against him.Charlotte let out a loud moan and pressed even closer to the hard, already huge bulge in his tight pants.

Sidney groaned too. She was sitting directly on his aching cock and his desire for her threatened to overwhelm him.

It had been so long since they had touched - since they had made love and they both felt a deep need to be close ...

Finally his hands could wander, he gently stroked her thighs, felt her skin twitch and pulled her closer.The need to feel her warm, soft body was overwhelming.Slowly he pushed his hands up over her waist, running his thumbs over her slim stomach, and lightly touching the sides of her breasts.

The noise she made let him lose all restraint.With both hands he reached for the buttons on the back of her dress, opened them and pushed the white fabric over her shoulders.

Panting, Charlotte let go of his lips. The look in his eyes was so pleading that she didn't refused, but pulled her arms out of her long sleeves.

Sidney breathed hard and shuddered. He couldn't take his eyes off her, watched the fabric of her dress gather around her waist and expose her half-naked torso.

The bra she was wearing was white and transparent, it was simple but incredibly sexy and showed him everything.

Her whole body shivered as his hands slid forward over her bare shoulders, slowly sliding over the thin straps, and then closing around her breasts.

"You are beautiful, Charlotte," Sidney breathed tonelessly, looked up for a moment and met her gaze.It was pure love in her eyes - and total trust.Moaning, Charlotte grabbed his head and pulled him closer to suck his lip into her mouth.Sidney responded with a growl, shoving a hand between her shoulder blades to support her as he kissed her hard.

He felt her hard, erect nipple in the palm of his hand, began to stroke her breast gently, and moved his thumb in slow, seductive circles around her delicate bud. Unable to hold back, he released her mouth and leaned further down.

When Charlotte felt his lips on her skin, her head fell back.Feeling his wet, hot mouth again, she whimpered, her fingers clinging to the fabric of his vest as she raised her breasts towards him.

How should he control himself?It was impossible, he couldn't stand it ...

Slowly his mouth reached her bra, from below he lifted her breast up with his hand and he groaned as he put his lips around her nipple. His tongue licked wet circles, soaked the thin fabric and he heard her desperately whisper his name as he sucked gently.

"Sidney ...". 

In a small part of his brain, Sidney still knew where they were.He had no idea where the others were, but it didn't matter.

He held an almost naked, whimpering Charlotte in his arms, and the urge to undress her was almost overpowering.

With a choked sound he pressed his face into the valley between her breasts, embraced her with his arms and took a deep breath.

"We have to get out of here before I undress you completely ...," he gasped hoarsely in her skin.

Charlotte could hardly think clearly - all she could do was hold on to him.The feelings he triggered in her - with his hands, his mouth and his hard body were so arousing, so beautiful that she felt tears in her eyes again.

"It is not far to my apartment ...".She lifted his head tenderly, his eyes were intense and dark with desire, which is why she leaned over and kissed him gently."I want to feel your skin on mine, to feel you inside of me ...".

With her words, Sidney almost lost control. 

The thought of breaking away from her was impossible, but he grabbed her dress and helped her get dressed again.Regretfully, he saw her skin disappear under the fabric, closed the top button of the dress, and then pressed her to him.

Slowly he got up, let her feet slide on the floor and looked down at her tiny shape. Swaying, she wrapped her arms around his waist, leaned her forehead against his chest, and just enjoyed his presence for a moment.

"Thank you Sidney ...," she whispered softly, lifting her head."For giving me a second chance." 

He lovingly ran his hands up her back, shoved his fingertips into her hair and looked at her with a slight smile.

"You made a mistake, Charlotte, but I love you. After reading your letter, I knew I had forgiven you.You are everything to me, you are ... ".

He swallowed hard, laughed and sobbed at the same time, and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"You're mine."

Overwhelmed, Charlotte tried to stay upright. He was so tall that she had to tiptoe to put her lips on his.

"I love you ...," she whispered in his mouth, laughing when Sidney growled deep and then reached for his hand.

They had to get out of here, they had to feel each other, and they left the old house as quickly as possible with their fingers intertwined to finally get close again.


	27. Closeness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all know the rating for this chapter - definitely an E. Again I'm a little nervous about this and hope you like it.

Charlotte's fingers trembled as she unlocked the door to her apartment.

Sidney had touched her all the way here. He had parked his car that morning in the parking lot in front of Denham Place and led her there.Before opening the passenger door for her, he had kissed her lovingly and gently, and throughout the ride he had passed his fingers lightly over her thigh under her dress.The closer they got to her apartment, the higher his fingers had gone and Charlotte had been desperately holding on to his upper arm. 

And then they got out of his car. On the way to the house where Charlotte lived, he was half a step behind her and the whole time she felt his touch - his fingers had slipped over her waist, lay lightly on her butt, or he had pushed them through her half-open dress onto her bare back.

With every light touch, with each stroke of his fingertips, the desire grew within Charlotte. In return, she had teased him, continued to bite her lip and walked slowly ahead of him on the stairs. She had noticed that it was driving him crazy because his eyes were getting darker and he was breathing heavily.

Now she pushed open her front door, went in and waited for him to follow her. 

When Sidney entered her apartment he saw her teeth digging into her lower lip again and couldn't stand it anymore.She teased him, drove him insane in her white dress and his body seemed ready to explode.

He only took two steps over her threshold before grabbing her.With a deep rough sound, his hands closed around her waist, he pushed her back against the front door, which closed with a click, and devoured her lips with his.

Charlotte moaned softly, she loved the strength of his body, loved the feeling of being pressed against a wall by him and greedily returned his kiss. Her fingers reached into his hair, her body bulged against his and she seductively rubbed herself against him.

Still, their tongues met in a slow, sensual dance. They both enjoyed each other's taste, Sidney curled Charlotte's tongue into his mouth and gently moved his lips over hers.

It was absolutely exhilarating, and when he pulled back a little, she whimpered longingly.

"You're teasing me ..," murmured Sidney, letting his lips brush lightly over her mouth and chuckled as she sipped his lower lip."You know you're driving me crazy, right?"

The smile that spread across Charlotte's face was full of joy and happiness.

"Do I?" She whispered, biting her lip again as her fingers loosened the buttons on his vest.She looked trustingly into his dark, burning eyes and had to swallow by the intensity of his gaze.

Slowly his hand rose, his thumb stroked her lip gently as he followed the movement with his eyes.Her full lower lip was pink and swollen, and as he leaned closer to lick his tongue over it, he growled with desire.

"You do. You've been digging your teeth into your lip all day.” As he spoke, he allowed her to slip his vest over his shoulders."Your dress shows nothing of your beautiful figure, but I know what your curves look like underneath."

His hands slipped over the long sleeves of her dress, over her covered shoulders and further down to her neckline. Trembling, Charlotte dropped her head back against the wood of the door, and immediately felt his wet lips against her throat.He gently sucked on her soft skin, ran his tongue over the spot where her pulse was racing, and dropped a hand down onto her hip.

"But I can see every single muscle under your tight shirt and your pants,“ breathed Charlotte, pulled his dark shirt out of his pants and let her hands slide back onto his hot, velvety skin for the first time. Sidney hissed and pressed his face against her neck.

Her little hands ran across his sides to his abs, causing him to shiver and made him close his hand tightly around her round breast.

At the same time, he pressed his hips against her, rubbed his hard, aching cock against her soft warmth, and needed everything not to take her here at the door.

"Charlotte ...".Sidney gasped her name tonelessly - she was clearly wearing too many layers of fabric.Hungry his lips searched for hers, he kissed her deep and they both moaned into each other's mouths.

Charlotte touched his skin with tingling fingertips, his hard abs twitched when she brushed over them, and the need to undress him overwhelmed her.

While his tongue caressed hers, she tugged on his shirt, didn't take the time to release the buttons, and pushed his arms up to pull the fabric over his head.

Sidney growled when his lips had to separate from hers, but Charlotte pulled back and let her eyes slide over his bare torso.

He was even more muscular than the last time she saw him, his skin was deep tanned and she looked at him admiringly.

"There is no one as beautiful as you, Sidney." Her fingers slid gently over him, his neck, his chest to his six-pack, and Charlotte felt like she was burned."I can hardly believe that a man as sexy as you wants ... _me_."

Sidney gently reached for her chin, raised her face to his and leaned his forehead against hers.

"But I want you." His rough voice was full of emotion, his gaze was full of love, while his hot breath slid over her swollen lips.“I told you how sexy and sensual you are - how breathtaking beautiful.But you are also sweet, loving and tender - you are so many things.I love each of your qualities. I ... I need you, Charlotte ...". His voice broke and he closed his eyes briefly

"I love you ....".With a soft sob, Charlotte gripped his head, pulled him closer and kissed him desperately and deeply.His fingers reached into her hair, he lifted her up and pressed her to him.

They stood like this for long moments, melting in the warmth and closeness of the other and feeling their racing heartbeats. 

Charlotte barely managed to detach herself from his lips, but she wanted to undress him, wanted to see him naked in her bed, so she pushed him back, took his hand and slowly went to her bedroom.

He felt like his legs were giving way under him. Barefoot, with a half-open dress and rosy cheeks, she looked at him over her shoulder, gently pulled at his hand and led him through her home.

With a quick movement he stripped off his shoes and socks, then followed her bare-chested and couldn't take his eyes off her.

God, he loved her ....

Her bedroom was exactly as he had imagined.Small, but with soft colors on the walls and light furniture.In the middle was a soft bed with thick blankets and lots of pillows.

But there was something on the chest of drawers next to the door that caught his eye and he couldn't help but walk up to it.

It was a photograph of him.

She must have taken it in his brother's house when he braided the girls' hair.He sat on a chair in the living room of the Trafalger house, looked over his shoulder with a laugh, but didn't looked at the camera.

"You have a photo of me ...," he whispered in astonishment and looked at her with an eyebrow raised.Charlotte nodded shyly, his eyes burned on her body and to see him here in this room, only in his tight pants, was incredibly arousing.

"Yes, ... you look beautiful on it ...".

She was standing a few steps away from him, her body trembled, but without taking her eyes from him, she slowly raised her arms.

Sidney was spellbound. 

He couldn't move, swallowed hard, and watched her with almost black eyes.

Her breasts rose and fell with her heavy breaths, Charlotte reached back and opened the top button of her dress.With trembling fingers, she grabbed the white fabric, pulled the long sleeves over her arms and slowly peeled herself out of her dress.

As she pushed it down over her torso, she saw Sidney hold his breath. His eyes followed her hands, caught on the transparent fabric of her bra and she heard him moan softly.

He bit his lip himself when he could see her hard, rosy nipples through the fabric, his body ached with desire, and his pants were painfully tight.

"Charlotte ...".

It sounded rough and hoarse, she could see that he liked her sight, so she pushed her hands down until her dress fell on the floor.

Sidney inhaled audibly, he swayed slightly and his eyes hung over her hungrily. He felt weak, had to lean slightly against her chest of drawers, and closed his hands into fists.

Her belly was slim, her hips were not as round as before and he could see her ribs. But he didn't dare to look further down, he just felt like he was losing control at the sight of her.

The way he looked at her was indescribable. It made Charlotte feel sexy and brave, which is why she turned her arms backwards to open the clasp of her bra.

Slowly the thin fabric came loose from her heavy breasts, her nipples were incredibly hard and longed for the touch of his tongue.Charlotte could see the bulge in his pants grew bigger as his eyes slid over her breasts.His mouth opened slightly, goose bumps formed on his chest and his abs twitched with tension.

She killed him - he had probably never been as hard in his life as he was at this moment. He had never seen anything more seductive than her.

She undressed herself for him while the evening sun shone through her bedroom window and she was just beautiful. 

Slowly Charlotte let her fingers slide over her belly to her hips and chopped her thumbs in her panties.Sidney followed her every move, but when he saw her white panties, he had to close his eyes for a moment.

Her panties were wet, just above her middle, and his desire became overwhelming.

When he looked at her again, Charlotte shivered. Her heart was pounding in her throat as she pulled her panties over her legs and dropped it onto the floor. 

She had never stripped for a man before, but she wanted to give herself to him.

Seeing her naked in front of him, with goose bumps all over her body, was too much for Sidney. All he needed was a big step to reach her, he grabbed her soft thighs with his hands and lifted her up.

Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck and when his searching lips found hers, she groaned loudly.She felt his bare torso burn on hers, her nipples pressed firmly against him and his hands on her sensitive thighs were more than arousing.

While he held her on her butt with one hand, the other slid over her bare back to her shoulder blades.Whimpering, Charlotte arched against him, returned his deep, passionate kiss, and pulled her fingernails over his spine.

"I've never seen anything as sexy as you, do you have any idea what you do to me?" Sidney could only growl tonelessly, she was pure sensuality. "You are beautiful, Charlotte - sexy, seductive and beautiful."

His voice sounded so honest, so sincere, and Charlotte's heart was racing. She had never believed that she could be all of these things, but she wanted to be them - for him.

When she slid over his back again and grabbed his butt, she noticed that he was still clothed. Why was he still wearing his pants?She wanted to feel him inside her so much and impatiently shoved a hand into his waistband.

"Please let me undress you," whispered Charlotte in his mouth, pushing her fingers forward over his hips, but he pressed her too tightly against him.

Her small body was so hot, her skin silky and smooth, and all Sidney wanted to do was to touch her, admire her.

Shaking his head, he took two steps until he reached her bed, raised one leg to kneel on the mattress, and laid her gently on her back.But Charlotte did not give in, grabbed his belt and hastily released it.

Sidney reluctantly gave her time to open his pants button and zipper, but only because he was able to look at her while she was doing it.

She was lying on her bed, her head raised to look at her fingers, but he had a perfect look at her naked body.

Her breasts were round and full, her nipples stretched towards him, her stomach was tense and her legs spread. It was too arousing to endure.

Charlotte knew he was looking at her, it made her inside burn, but when her fingertips slid over his hard cock underneath his black boxer, his eyes closed and he groaned deeply.

He only allowed her to press his tight pants over his hips before he freed himself from the heavy fabric and reached for her hands.

Growling, he raised her hands over her head, pushed her further onto her bed, and hovered over her.

"I need to taste you, Charlotte," he whispered hoarsely, shivering as she licked his lower lip with her tongue. "You are so hot and sexy ...".Now his tongue slid over her lip, slid into her mouth and devoured her with desire.

But when Charlotte felt his fingers on the inside of her thigh, she had to let go of him and bent her head back.She moaned desperately, closed her eyes and only felt him. 

Sidney run his eyes over her body, saw her breasts lift up to him, her legs spread even more, and lost control.

When his fingertips reached her wet, delicate folds and slowly slid into her slit, he lowered his head.

His lips closed tenderly around her hard nipple, he heard her whimper his name and sipped gently. Eventually Charlotte felt his hot mouth on her body and completely lost herself in the feeling of it.

Sidney gently sucked on her erect bud and reached her sensitive pearl with his fingers. The slow circles he drew around her bundle of nerves made her more wet, her hips rose slightly and she whimpered his name again.

"Sidney ... please".

She was at his mercy and enjoyed every second of it.

With a smile, Sidney released her nipple from his mouth, stroked his lips over her breast and inhaled the smell of her skin. It was absolutely exhilarating.

But her wetness on his finger was distracting, he gently slid his fingers through her slit to her opening and pressed against her entrance. Her hips rose again, she wanted to feel him inside of her, and Sidney couldn't resist her.

He gently enternd her with two long fingers, pushed into her tight, damp warmth and heard her loud, relieved groan. Charlotte felt his fingers brush against her inner walls, he moved them slowly inside of her, but it was indescribably beautiful.

His head had moved to her other breast, his lips opened and his tongue licked hot over her nipple.He groaned as her fingers reached into his hair, her back arched up, and he devoured her breast with his mouth.

Everything about her was so seductive and his body burned.

"Oh ... Charlotte," Sidney whispered, rubbing his lips against her wet nipple."I love you so much."

When he slid down over her body with a last, gentle kiss on her breast, Charlotte could only whimper.Unable to get a clear thought, she grabbed his hand, which was tightly wrapped around her breast, and pressed his palm against her aching flesh.

The touch of his mouth was like fire, his tongue licked her ribs, dipped into her navel, and finally reached her most sensitive, fragrant place. With his mouth open, he slid over her hips, inhaled her intoxicating scent and placed gentle kisses on her twitching skin.

He carefully placed his upper body between her spread thighs and watched his fingers slide slowly and gently into her warmth.

She was so incredibly wet and hot, she smelled so good and the sounds she made caused his cock twitch in his boxers.

Charlotte could literally feel his head sink slowly, the heat of his heavy breaths hit her most intimate place, and then the fire inside her began to explode.

"Ahhh ..., Sidney."

It was a hoarse cry from her mouth as he opened his lips and slowly licked up and down the whole length of her slit with his tongue. Sidney groaned deep in his chest as his lips closed around her pearl. 

Her taste in his mouth was overwhelming, he couldn't hold back and sucked hard as he stuck a third finger into her.

Charlotte could hardly stand it any longer.She felt his tongue slide hard and demanding over her pearl and then he slowly licked through her slit again.His lips sucked at her red, glittering folds, pressed against the place where his fingers moved inside her, and slid back to her pearl.

But he also wanted to be with his tongue inside of her. Carefully, he pressed his fingers inside her aside to spread her apart and open her further - and dipped his tongue into her hot, wet entrance.

Now he heard her scream his name, she arched her back and pressed her breast into the palm of his hand.Captured by her taste and moisture, Sidney stuck his entire tongue into her entrance in addition to his three fingers and licked the inside of her walls. 

When he saw her pearl start to pulsate, his lips slipped up through her slit, gently sucked the nub into his mouth, and pressed his tongue against her hard bundle of nerves.

What he did to her was sensual, arousing and absolutely overwhelming and Charlotte fell apart completely.

She started to tremble, her body cramped with pleasure and she could only whimper breathlessly. Fascinated, Sidney watched her climax, looked at her and shivered at her choked noises. 

He gently and slowly moved his open mouth over her beautiful body, which was covered with a fine blush.He tenderly kissed every place he could reach, worshiped her breasts and nipples with pure tenderness and devotion, and gently sucked on her collarbone and neck until he reached her mouth.

She was still breathing uncontrollably, but she grabbed his head blindly, pulled him close and kissed him hard and desperately.

He gently removed his fingers from inside her, wrapped his arms around her and put all his weight on her tiny body. With her legs she pressed him closer, his hardness hit her still sensitive folds, which again caused a shiver in her.

Sidney let himself be completely devoured by her lips and tongue, the need to dig into her was strong, but he gave her the time to calm down.His hands gently stroked her shoulders and sides, he slowly turned on his back and lifted her onto his body.

Only when she was completely on top of him did Charlotte lift her head slightly and hit his gaze. The tenderness and love in his eyes showed her how much he enjoyed her body and her cheeks blushed a little.

"I love the way you touch me," she whispered softly, pressing her lips to his fast-pounding heart and hearing him groan."It makes me lose control completely, but you hold me tight."

"Always ...," Sidney muttered in response before his eyes closed. 

Slowly, Charlotte stroked his bare chest with both hands.She straightened up to look at him and enjoyed the fact that now he was the one who raised himself to her touch. Admiringly, she gently stroked the hard lines of his muscles and slid over his ribs, but she felt his hard length beneath her and moved her hips slightly.

"Ahhh ...".Sidney hissed and reached for her hips to keep her motionless. His eyes opened, his gaze met hers and it was pure fire.

"Don't tease me ...," he growled, gritting his teeth and breathing heavily."You sit naked on top of me ... I feel like I'm going to burst, but I want to be inside of you."

Hearing how breathless he was, how hard it was for him to hold back made her want him even more, but she wanted to worship his body as much as he loved hers.

Slowly she slid down his legs, lowered her head and kissed the huge bulge in his boxers. His smell was incredible, Sidney gasped and reached into her hair, but didn't stop her when she gently slid her lips over his boxers.

Sidney needed everything not to move his hips, but he arched his back.When she hooked her fingers into his waistband to peel off the tight fabric of his underwear, he closed his eyes again and clenched his fists in her sheets.

Her touch was beautiful, but he knew he couldn't take it long.

"Ohh ...," whispered Charlotte. His sight was incredibly impressive.

His tanned skin, his muscles, the line of dark hair that went down from his navel and ended on his stiff, hard cock. Its tip shone dark red and Charlotte could not resist.

With a racing heart, she leaned down and put her lips on the velvety soft skin of his cock. She heard Sidney moan deep and dark. His whole body shivered, but when Charlotte gently sucked his wet tip into her mouth, he hissed her name.

"Charlotte ...". 

Her eyes met his, he breathed uncontrollably and his face grimaced as she opened her mouth and licked his whole length with her tongue.

What she was doing was too much, he could hardly hold back and sat up. Immediately his hands closed around her butt, he gently pulled her towards him and spread her legs over him.

With a small smile Charlotte sat on his lap, his body seemed to be on fire and when they pressed against each other they both shivered.

"You will be the death of me ...," Sidney murmured, found her lips and claimed them. Demandingly he searched for her tongue, wrapped her in his and enjoyed her whimper.

He belonged entirely to her - but she also belonged entirely to him.

Charlotte closed her legs around his waist, she could feel him and her inside began to tingle with desire.With her fingertips, she stroked his back to his hair and held his head close to hers. His passionate kiss made her breathless, but still she groaned loudly as he gripped her breast with one hand and kneaded it gently.

"Let me feel you inside of me, Sidney, please ...".

Carefully, she lifted her body up a bit, but then bit her lip, panting.

She was completely open for him, her legs spread wide and Sidney gently slid his fingertips through her slit.She was even wetter than before, longingly waiting for him and he couldn't hold back any longer.

He gently wrapped her butt, moving himself so that his tip pressed against her entrance, and then slowly let her slide onto his hard, already pulsating cock.

Without completely separating their lips, they looked into each other's eyes as he sank into her warmth and Charlotte moaned trembling in his mouth.

The feeling of being completely filled by him was indescribable, she felt him deep inside of her and licked his lips lustfully.

"You're so wet and tight - that's incredibly beautiful." Sidney could barely speak, his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper, and he gently pressed his forehead against hers.

For a few moments, they just looked at each other, enjoyed being as close as possible, and inhaled the scent of the other.

"I love you."

With tears in her eyes, Charlotte took his mouth and kissed him deeply and tenderly.She put one hand on his cheek and held his head as she gripped his strong shoulder with her other hand.

Sidney returned her kiss with pure tenderness.It was as if time stood still, as if only the two of them existed and nothing else.Slowly he let his big hands slide over her back, felt the flutter of her skin and stroked a hand over her ribs back to her breast.

He loved the feeling of her heavy, full breasts in his hands, loved her rosy, hard nipples and couldn't keep his fingers off her. Gently, he wrapped her warm flesh from below, ran his thumb over her nipple, and groaned as her hips began to move slowly on top of him.

She began to ride him gingerly, slowly moving her hips up and down and let his big, hard cock slide into her damp warmth again and again.It was incredibly intense, his lips brushed gently over hers - never parted from her while their eyes looked into each other's souls.

To help her, Sidey put his hand firmly on her butt. Her tight inner walls closed around him, he felt how her inside began to tremble and watched her fascinated.

Her eyes started to close, her small body shuddered uncontrollably and she groaned and pressed her lips against his cheek.Seeking for hold, she pressed against him, shoved her hands into his hair and shouted his name.

"Sidney ...". 

She came undone, fell over the edge and her inside exploded.He pressed her firmly to him, but the pulsation of the thick veins on his cock were enough to keep her cramping.

"Look at me ...," Sidney whispered in a rough voice."Please ... look at me, Charlotte."

He wanted to see her, he wanted to see her eyes and gently pulled on her wild curls until she turned her head slightly.Her eyes were cloudy with pleasure and arousal, but she met his intense gaze.

Their heavy breaths mingled, his eyes were almost black and glowing, and Sidney leaned forward to kiss her lips gently.

"You are beautiful ...," he whispered, licking his tongue over her lip and sinking into her mouth. 

Charlotte knew that he was still hard inside of her. She felt him deeply, returned his kiss and let him lay her on her back. His body slid onto hers, his weight was soothing and arousing at the same time, but she pressed him closer.

The movement drove him even deeper into her warmth, his moan vibrated through Charlotte's body and she reached for his hand.

His fingers immediately closed around hers, he put their intertwined hands next to her head onto her bed and hid his face against her neck.

He had to move, the urge was unbearable and he lost all control that he ever had over his body.

His thrusts were hard and deep, Charlotte screamed softly and bent against him as she heard him whispering her name over and over again.

The closer he got to his release, the harder his thrusts became. Her wet walls closed around him again, she twitched and held him inside of her and Sidney was lost.

He fell apart, muffled his own cry with her skin and poured into her. He stopped deep inside her warmth and felt Charlotte come undone herself.She pressed her head against his, wrapped her arms and legs around him and enjoyed the feelings inside her.

She felt pure love for the man who was laying trembling on top of her and pressed her lips into his damp curls. 

Sidney couldn't move, his heart was racing, and even though he knew he was too heavy for her, he stayed on her tiny body.He gently ran his lips and stubble over her collarbone, then placed his cheek on her breast and breathed deeply and evenly.

He knew with certainty that he had to be right there, that his place was in her arms, just like her place was in his arms.

"I love you, Charlotte."

When he straightened up with weak bones, Charlotte pulled him back onto her body.She had heard his voice crack and knew that the words he had just spoken in a hoarse, rough voice came straight from his soul.

"Stay here ...," she murmured and felt him lay his head back on her breast."I love you too, Sidney, I will never let you go again."

Sidney carefully put his hands under her back, lifted his lower body away from her to take at least a little of his weight off of her, but remained half on top of her.

The feeling was too beautiful - wrapped in her arms and legs, so completely merged with her and his eyes closed.

He was at home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there will be a few more chapters, I hope you still stay with me ...


	28. A new beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, many thanks for your lovely and nice comments - they  
> made me really happy.  
> Thank you for your encouragement and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> From now on, the rating for all upcoming chapters will be E ..., I hope you like it.

It was long after midnight, but neither of them wanted to sleep - their closeness was far too beautiful.

Sidney’s head was still on Charlotte’s breast, they both had barely moved, but while Charlotte’s fingers were sliding slowly and evenly through his hair and massaging his scalp, Sidney ground gentle patterns on her belly, sides, and breast.

Now his fingers slowly stroked her ribs, which appeared clearly under her velvety, translucent skin.

"You're way too thin," he murmured in a low voice, sounding a little sleepy."You haven't been taking good care of yourself the past few weeks, have you?"

He slowly raised his head and looked up at her from below.Her eyes were lovingly on him and her fingers stayed in his hair.She lay on a pillow with her head tilted to one side, wild curls framed her face and she smiled slightly embarrassed.

"I was fine ...," she says reassuringly and laughed when he raised an eyebrow questioningly.Demonstratively, he ran his index finger over her ribs to her hip, where her hip bone was clearly visible, and enjoyed the twitching of her skin and the shivering of her body.

"Not then, but now ... now I'm fine." Suddenly she felt like his body was too far away and wrapped her leg more tightly around his waist to pull him closer."It was hard for me without you, and knowing that it was my own fault almost made me ...," she hesitated.But when Sidney gently put his lips on her nipple and kissed her tenderly, she sighed with delight and continued."It tormented me and I tried to distract myself with work to give you time."

Slowly and cautiously, Sidney crawled onto her body and supported himself with his elbows so as not to crush her. Her hands immediately slid onto his broad back and run over his spine, causing him to hiss softly.

"I never wanted you to suffer," he whispered sincerely, leaning closer and kissing her lips gently.It was a long kiss because he just couldn't pull back.His mouth brushed lightly over hers until she moaned. She lifted her head to increase the pressure, but when he sucked her lower lip between his and lovingly sipped it, her muscles became weak and she sank back.

What he triggered in her body with a single kiss was indescribable. Before he could lose control, Sidney broke away and breathlessly leaned his forehead against hers.

"I shouldn't have run away, and I'm sorry for that, Charlotte. But I was hurt."

Charlotte gripped his face and looked into his eyes. "I know.But now you're here ... and this time we can do it right."

Slowly a bright smile spread on his face, which made Charlotte's heart skip a few beats and he nodded.

"From now ...," he said in a rough voice and kissed her sweet mouth again."From now on I'll take care of you, which is why I'm going to your kitchen now to make you something to eat."

Charlotte grumbled in protest, shook her head and heard Sidney laugh.

"Sweety, I have been watching you all day and you have had nothing but water and coffee."

Charlotte's cheeks flushed slightly at his loving salutation, she was never called that by a man and it was a breathtaking feeling. To see her cheeks flush with his words made his heart race - he found her absolutely adorable.

"Please ... let me take care of you," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

It was not for the first time that he felt a deep need to protect her.The feeling was strong, the urge to take care of her was overwhelming and when she nodded with a smile, he took a deep breath.

"I would love that ...". Charlotte whispered softly, the promise behind this statement tingled in her whole body and pure love flowed through her. "If you returned the favor to me and I can take care of you."

It was half a laugh and half a sob that escaped his lips. His feelings overwhelmed him, he buried his face in her hair and pressed her to him.

They just held each other for a while and both knew that they were meant to be together. 

But since her little body shivered beneath him and reminded him of how small and fragile she looked, he rose with her in his arms and stood up.

A short time later, after cleaning up a bit in the bathroom, he went naked to her kitchen and opened her fridge. There wasn't much in it, but he found some vegetables and salad and made them some sandwiches. He heard Charlotte's bare feet on the floor, she went back to her bedroom and he hoped she wouldn't get dressed again. So he hurried to follow her and stopped in the doorway. 

She sat completely naked in the alcove by the window on the windowsill, her long, slender legs bent and looked at him.It was completely dark outside, after all it was in the middle of the night, and there was no light on in her bedroom either.She was only lit by the moon, her skin shimmered silver, which caused Sidney to almost drop the plate of food. The sight of her was so sensual and his body was already starting to respond to her.

God, how could it be that he was so beautiful?

Totally naked and without shame, Sidney slowly came up to her, his body was like carved out of stone, hard and firm, and she watched his muscles move under his skin.

Without a word, Sidney pushed himself behind her, bent one leg next to hers, and leaned his knee against the window pane while he leaned his back against the thick outer wall.

Sighing, Charlotte leaned against him, the hot skin of his chest made a shiver run down her back and she heard him humming softly.

His arms closed protectively around her, he was still holding the plate and put it on her knees.While she was in the bathroom, Charlotte had her hair tied into a messy knot, which completely exposed her neck, and Sidney slowly lowered his head to rest his lips on the soft skin behind her ear.Taking a deep breath, he moved his nose into her hair and let her scent flood his senses.

"This feels so nice ...," Charlotte murmured, pressing herself against him even more. "It feels like being at home. Right here, in your arms."

Panting, Sidney closed his arms more tightly around her. She spoke exactly the words he had thought.

"I was thinking exactly the same thing." 

Smiling, Charlotte turned her head to look for his eyes. They burned into her, glowing almost black as he leaned closer and kissed her gently.

"You have to eat something, dear," muttered Sidney into her mouth, pointing to the plate on her knee.When she sighed and grabbed one of the sandwiches, Sidney leaned back and looked out of the window.In the dark he saw the glitter of the sea and the beach - it was a really nice place here.

"You can see the sea from here." His voice sounded slightly surprised and Charlotte laughed.She picked up the second sandwich, took the plate from her knees and put it on the floor.

"You have to eat something too, your body looks like it would only consist of muscles." She grinned as she handed him his food and noticed his amused look. It was true, unlike her soft and curvy body, he was rock hard and sinewy, but still they fit together perfectly.

"This is the nicest place in this apartment," she said as she leaned back against his chest and looked out the window just like him.

Only now did Sidney notice that he hadn't eaten anything all day too and was done with a few bites.There was something special about sitting naked by the window with her and eat together, even when it was the middle of the night.There was a bottle of water next to her bed, Sidney’s arms were long enough to reach for, and they both drank as if they had died of thirst.

After eating they did not move for a while, looked into the dark night and breathed in the same rhythm.Charlotte was very aware of his naked body behind her, and she also noticed that he was completely relaxed.His usually tense muscles were loose, his heart was beating evenly under her ear, but his arms were tight around her.

He seemed completely happy, and that made her own heart race.

"Have ... have you fought a lot in the past few weeks?" Charlotte swallowed uncertainly, not wanting to remind him, but it bothered her that he had hurt himself because of her.

Sidney felt her body tense and soothingly closed his arms around her completely.He gently placed his chin on her shoulder, stroked his beard over her soft skin and thought about what to say.He wanted to be honest, but he didn't want her to worry.

"Not so much ...," he started softly, but then remembered what he had said to her.He had said he would answer any of her questions.

"The evening after ... after our conversation on the promenade, I fought with a fairly tall guy in front of a bar outside of London.It wasn't my intention ... he provoked me and ... well, my state of mind was not the best.” Sidney laughed with a small snort, noticed how her breathing was getting harder and pulled her even closer. "We were both arrested and I had to spend the night in a prison cell."

Charlotte caught her breath and a thick lump formed in her throat."This was my fault ...," she whispered, turning her head so that she could press her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes.A moment later, she felt Sidney’s lips on her head and his fingers dug into her loose hair bun.

"It wasn't the first time that I was arrestedand it's not your fault that I lost control. I should have talked to you back then, I should have known that what you had said was a lie.”

With tears on her cheeks, she looked up at him and saw love in his eyes. It still hurt to think about it, but it was behind them now and Sidney had overcome it.

He leaned forward tenderly, wiped her tears with his lips and tasted the salt in his mouth.

“After that I had a couple of boxing matches, but not on the street anymore.I was in ... well, in illegal boxing clubs - but the last time was quite a while ago."

Frowning, Charlotte turned her head until her cheek rested on his collarbone.

"But ... why?" She asked softly and confused."I mean, why are you doing this?Why are you hurting yourself?"

Sighing, this time Sidney put his lips on her shoulder and stroked her gently."Because of the pain. Every punch that hit me covered the pain inside me for a brief moment.”

He muttered the words softly into her skin because he knew they would hurt her.And he was right, she winced, seemed to shrink a little in his arms, and hid her face in her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Sidney.I ... I was so cruel to you."

Charlotte's voice broke.Hearing from himself how much she hurt him took her breath away.She could hardly believe that he had really forgiven her.

"Yes, you were."

Sidney gently reached for her chin and raised her eyes to his.She saw the smile on his face in disbelief - the tenderness in his eyes and wondered why she deserved him.

"You had your reasons, even if they were completely wrong.But that's in the past now.” His hand clasped her cheek, his fingertips slid into her hairline, and his lips came closer to hers."I know that you love me - and you know that I love you.I forgave you and you have to do the same."

Charlotte turned slightly, put her hands on his bearded cheeks and brushed her lips over his.

"I'm so grateful that you're here with me." She felt Sidney tighten the pressure on her lips and opened her mouth to him."I love you and I promise I won't hurt you again." 

She had barely finished speaking when his tongue dipped into her mouth. Groaning, he began to slowly lick the inside of her lips before searching for her tongue and intertwining himself with her.

His way of kissing was so special, every time it lit a flame inside of Charlotte that was only increased by his hands.He slid from her cheek over her neck, where he stroked her collarbone with his fingertips while his other hand lay on her belly.

But he didn't want her to think that everything that happened was her fault, so he pulled reluctantly away.

"It wasn't all your fault. I should have fought Tom and James' rumors and slanders much earlier. But I never cared."

Sighing and a little weak, Charlotte leaned her head back against him.

"I don't understand why he's telling lies about you. James is just jealous, but Tom?He is your brother."

Sidney laughed, she sounded so outraged.Slowly he ran his lips over her shoulder to her neck - her skin tasted so sweet ...

"Mmhhh ...".He hummed and considered what to answer.He wanted her to be happy, to laugh and the sadness to disappear from her face.

"I look a lot better than Tom, I also have more muscles and I'm sportier than he ...," his voice sounded amused and Charlotte giggled.

"That is absolutely true," she confirmed, kissing his neck.It was nice to see him so happy."You really do a lot of sport, don't you?I once saw you running along the beach at a morning.”

Sidney had begun to place gentle kisses on Charlotte's neck and his fingertips were slowly sliding down from her collarbone.

"You were watching me, hmm?" He murmured and Charlotte shivered at the deep sound of his voice.

God, she loved his voice ... she loved the deep growl of it that vibrated to her innermost core.

Laughing softly, Charlotte bent her back a little as his fingers dipped into the valley between her breasts.

"Completely unintentionally ...".Her voice trembled as his fingers slowly wrapped around her left breast.

"Of course ...," Sidney grinned and enjoyed seeing her eyes close and how she tried to press her breast into his palm."I like to exhaust myself. I usually box in a gym, I like to run and I love the sea here.”

Every word that he whispered in her ear with his dark voice made her shiver, despite the darkness he saw the goose bumps that he caused on her body and her soft whimper was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. 

"It's soothing to run through the sand in the early morning and listen to the waves." Now his fingertips brushed only lightly over her nipple, which was already pointed and was getting harder when he touched it.

Charlotte moved, pressed her face to his neck and tried to dampen her moans a little.

“There is a cove in the far back, where the beach becomes rockier, where I like to go swimming.I will take you with me once and show it to you ... “.

He shivered himself when she opened her mouth and sucked the skin over his pulse point between her lips.In the meantime, she must have felt him on her back. He could no longer suppress his reaction to her naked body in his arms and pressed hard against her lower back.

His teasing fingers on her nipple were indescribable, the gentle circles he was grinding made her want more, and his hard cock in her back showed her how much he enjoyed her body.The thought was insanely arousing and Charlotte moved her butt to press more against him. The movement made Sidney inhale sharply, his palm finally closed around her breast from below and he took her nipple between his fingers to gently squeeze it. At the same time, he kissed her neck with his mouth open before tracing the curve of her shoulder with his tongue.

Charlotte forced herself to answer him because she wanted him to continue speaking to her in his dark voice.

"The water is ... is way too cold.I ... have already tried it ... and ... and froze terribly ... ". Her voice was barely audible, she stuttered again and again because his fingers burned like fire on her breast and her nipple tingled under his tender touch.

"I'll hold you and warm you ...". Sidney growled in her ear again. Her hoarse voice only made him harder and slowly he let his other hand move down from her belly.

"Ohh ...".Charlotte whimpered and arched her head back until it was on his shoulder.

Slowly, Sidney’s fingers slid between her legs in search of her warmth.She wanted to feel him there, longed for him and opened her thighs. She pressed her left leg against his on the window pane while pushing her other leg over his thigh.

Moaning, Sidney found her folds, dipped into her slit from above and almost lost control when he felt how incredibly wet she was already.

"Charlotte ...," he growled hoarsely, holding her breast tighter and turning his head to find her lips."You are so wet for me, do you know how good you feel?"

His fingers slowly ran through her tingling folds, spread them apart even more, and then he slipped into her entrance with two fingertips.Charlotte groaned loudly, her body arched up and she reached into his hair with one hand.

"Sidney ... please," she whined, moved her hips to find his cock, but Sidney pulled away.His lips slid moist and hot over her cheek until he found her mouth.

"I want to touch you first ...," he whispered softly in her mouth before his tongue licked her lips slowly and seductively.He gently pulled his fingers back out of her warmth and growled softly as she bit his lip gently."I want to feel my fingers drop you apart and I want to look at you while doing it."

Charlotte felt like she could explode right now.Her hand tightened on his curls, holding his head against hers as she devoured his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.Sidney responded instantly, let her tongue slid willingly into his mouth, and stroked it with his when he noted with satisfaction that she was getting even wetter.

With his fingers, he spread her moisture in her hot slit, slid to her already hard pearl and slowly circled around it. Closer and closer to her sensitive nerve bundle until he finally pressed directly on it and Charlotte's body arched up again.

Whimpering, she reached for his other hand, which was holding her breast gently yet demanding, and had to loosen her lips slightly from his.As Sidney pressed his thumb gently against her pearl, he slid his fingers deeper and slowly entered her.

"Sidney ...".

Her body started to tremble when he moved three long fingers inside of her, but he held her with his arms.It was absolutely arousing to watch her - she trusted him completely and gave herself fully to him.

Fascinated and full of lust, Sidney let his eyes wander over her. Over her face that was so close to his and glowing with pleasure, over her breasts and her hard nipples that rose up to him and to her legs spread wide, where his fingers moved slowly in her entrance.

The sight was hard to bear, his cock ached and throbbed, but he wanted to see her.

As his fingers pushed faster and deeper into her, Charlotte pressed her open lips against his to moan into his mouth.

She knew it was driving him crazy, and she could actually feel his cock hardening like a stone behind her.

"You are so beautiful, my love.Let go ...“ Sidney whispered, licked her open lips and sipped at her."I hold you ...".

Her inner walls closed around his fingers, Charlotte could feel him curling them inside her and shouted his name.

"Sindey ...".

The waves of her orgasm collapsed hard over her, her body tightened and she moaned against his mouth again and again. Her intense reaction to him brought tears to Sidney's eyes. He had never experienced anything like this - only with her.

Even as she shivered with pleasure, he pulled his fingers out of her warmth, lifted her tiny body up slightly, and pulled her onto his lap.His cock slid between her legs from behind, he could hardly hold back and moved so that he pressed against her opening.

Charlotte felt him on her sensitive folds, she wanted to feel him inside of her, wanted to be filled by his big, hard cock and bent her hips. At the same time, she let her hand slide from his hair onto his neck, opened her eyes and searched for his gaze.

They looked at each other as he slowly entered her. His eyes glowed black and pierced hers as his aching cock sank into her warmth.

He groaned deeply, a dark growl that vibrated through Charlotte's entire body when she took him in.The feeling was exhilarating every time, it felt as if she was complete again and after his entire length was inside of her, they remained motionless for a moment.

"I love you, Charlotte."

Sindey could hardly speak, his voice was breathless and rough, and he put his mouth trembling on hers.They kissed slowly and lovingly, finally connected again, and his now free hand reached for her previously untouched breast.

Whimpering, Charlotte carefully moved her hips, began to ride him slowly, and felt how he returned her movements.Slowly, Sidney let their still intertwined hands slide down from her breast, slid between her legs, and pressed her fingers with his against the place where he was inside of her.

"Oh god ...," Charlotte gasped, the intensity of her feelings almost made her cry and she looked into his eyes.Their slow movements stopped, they looked at each other and merged into one being.

"I love you so much, Sidney ... we are one." She only managed a shaky whisper, sipped his lips gently, but then her eyes closed again.

The burning inside of Sidney was overwhelming, the intimacy they shared and the love they felt for each other was unique.

Without moving his hips, he slipped his thumb through her slit to rub over her hard pearl. At the same time, he pressed his and her fingers tighter against her entrance, where he was buried in her, and gripped her mouth in a desperate kiss.

Their two bodies burned like fire, they trembled and were tense to tear, but they didn't move.

Charlotte's walls were so tight that her muscles pulled on him, and by sitting completely on top of him, he was as deep inside of her as possible. They both breathed heavily, Charlotte's hand gripped his curls tight, and she whimpered so loud that Sidney couldn't stand it any longer.

He started to raise his hips against her at the same time that Charlotte was pressing down on him.They moved in the same rhythm and both felt their fingers as his hard cock kept pounding in her wet warmth.

After a few moments, Sidney heard Charlotte's uncontrolled groan, pressed his forehead against her cheek, and couldn't stop a soft scream.

"Charlotte ...".

The sound of his desperate, breathless voice made Charlotte explode, she came undone and cramped with pleasure, but she still felt his cock throb and his sperm shoot into her.

They clung to each other for a long time, his arms closed tightly around her shivering body, and her arms pressed around his. Their legs were also wrapped around each other, they were still breathing heavily, but their lips were moving slowly and with tenderness with one another.

Only when Sidney felt that his legs would bear his weight again did he slide an arm under Charlotte's knee, stand up and lift her up with him.

Slowly he carried her to her bed, he felt how she buried her head on his neck and murmured softly against his skin.

"Thank you for loving me, Sidney. I will be yours forever ... ".

He kissed her head gently, placed her in the soft sheets and pushed himself next to her. With a satisfied, perfectly happy sigh, he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms and legs around her.

As dawn broke out slowly outside the window, they fell asleep. 

—- ~ —- 

It was almost noon when Charlotte woke up.Sidney was still asleep, the corners of his mouth twisted into a slight smile and her inside tingled at the sight of him.

She wanted to wake up like this every day, sleeping naked in his strong arms every night and couldn't imagine spending a moment apart from him.

Not wanting to wake him up, she resisted the urge to kiss him and stood up carefully.

Completely happy and a little sore she disappeared into the bathroom.She left the door open, hummed quietly, and took a quick shower. 

It was the smell of coffee that woke him up, but when Sidney opened his eyes, her smiling face hovered over his.Her long, slightly damp curls framed his face, her eyes shone and she kissed his lips softly.

It was a wonderful feeling to wake up like this and Sidney hummed with satisfaction.

"Good morning, sleepy hat," Charlotte murmured to his lips and felt him laugh.

"Morning, dear." Sidney gently pushed his hands into her hair, framed her head and kissed her deeply. Her smiling mouth was too tempting and she sank against him with a soft murmur.

When he finally released her lips, Charlotte beamed at him and her cheeks turned a little red.

"I made you coffee ...," she said softly and a little shy, and Sidney sat up.He leaned his back against the headboard of her bed, lifted her butt on his lap and enjoyed her soothing weight.

There were two steaming cups on the bedside table, the smell rose into his nose and he immediately smelled that it was his beans that she had used.

Charlotte saw the crooked, cute smile on his face and her heart missed a beat. She took a shuddering breath and met his questioning look with blushed cheeks.

“I found a sack of beans from your plantation in the cafe's warehouse and bought them from Mary. I read a lot of books about coffee and even found an old coffee grinder in an antique shop. It doesn't taste as good as the one you prepare, but I'm still practicing." 

Sidney hadn't thought he could love her even more, but he did. Knowing that she had tried to make the same coffee he had made for her triggered a feeling of overwhelming affection inside of him, and her flushed cheeks made it much worse.

He reached for her face, pulled her towards him and kissed her lips tenderly.

When he felt her body relax, he searched for her eyes and looked at her with love.

"Thank you.That's ...," he paused, looked for the right words and smiled. "That means so much to me." 

She nodded, handed him one of the cups, and watched him carefully as he tried a sip.

With a pleasant sigh, he closed his eyes, took another sip and grinned broadly and radiantly.

"It's really, really good, sweety," he said honestly and Charlotte felt her belly turn with excitement.She had put a lot of effort into it, wanted to show him that she was interested in his passion for coffee and wanted to be part of it.

She laughed, drank her coffee herself and enjoyed the soft taste.

"When's your flight going to Antigua?" Sidney asked suddenly, looking for a watch.But Charlotte laughed and shook her head.

"The plane would have left London over an hour ago." She smiled and saw his brow furrow. "Why?"

Sidney shrugged.The look on his face was really adorable, slowly Charlotte raised her hand and gently ran her fingertips over his now thicker beard.

"I just thought ...".Sidney bit his lip nervous, but she looked at him so lovingly that he just kept talking."I would love to show you the plantations. I know that's my passion, but I want you to be part of it. I just thought I'd like to take you there someday.”

Charlotte suppressed her sobs, leaned forward and kissed him.Then she leaned her forehead against his, enjoyed his arms, that wrapped around her body and whispered softly.

"I would love to go there with you.I've read so much about coffee, the coffee plant, and how the beans are processed in the past few weeks because I thought it would bring me closer to you, but it's totally fascinating.I would really like to be part of it ... together with you."

Sidney could only nod, hugged her tightly, and inhaled her scent.

"When ... when do you have to go back to London?" Charlotte asked quietly, pulling back a little.Sindey chuckled at her hesitant tone and stroked her back soothingly.She was wearing only a thin top with a round neckline, and the intimacy - the familiarity that they shared was really exhilarating.

"Well ... not really anytime soon." He answered quietly and saw immediately how her eyes shone.“I have given up my day-to-day work in the organization and only have to attend meetings now and then. I can do my tasks for the NaturalBeans Labal from anywhere, and I also have to take care of renovating the old roastery and putting the machines back into operation.”

Charlotte listened to him carefully.That would mean that he would stay here in Sanditon for the time being, with her ....

Sidney enjoyed the glow in her eyes and hesitated to continue. He knew where he wanted to stay, but he didn't want to force himself on her.

“I also wanted to finally build the apartment above the Café, at the moment you can't really live in it. Until then I have a room in the hotel ... ”.

When Charlotte took a deep breath at this sentence, he stopped and waited for what she would say.His heart was racing in his chest and his breathing was tense.

She couldn't hold back what was in her head.And she didn't want it either.

"Why ... why don't you stay here?" The question was quiet, but her expression was serious and certain. 

"Since I thought I would fly to you, I have two weeks of vacation.Mrs. Robinson will work in the local library for this time, but has indicated that she would like to work full-time there.Esther hired someone for the library and museum at Denham Palce, and I also took time off from my job at the publishing house.”

She spoke quickly, was slightly out of breath, but saw Sidney’s smile grow bigger and bigger.

“As long as the apartment in the Café is not ready, we could live here together.I mean if you want it ...".

She broke off uncertainly and bit her lip.Sidney’s eyes shimmered damp, he wrapped her cheeks and pulled her towards him.His lips gently stroked hers before he pressed his forehead to hers.

"I wouldn't want anything more, Charlotte," he whispered, his warm breath sliding over Charlotte's lips and she shivered slightly."I want all of these things - the apartment in the Café, the coffee roastery and everything that has to do with it - with you." Again he kissed her gently, then buried his face on her neck and closed his arms around her body.

"I can't imagine sleeping without you in my arms, and I don't want it at all. I want to be with you and hope you want it too."

Tears ran down Charlotte's face again, but they were tears of pure joy.

"I want the exactly same things," she whispered, kissing his head.

A short time later, while Sidney was taking a shower, Charlotte ran to the hotel to pack his few things and bring them to her apartment.

To their apartment ...


	29. Time in a cove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please enjoy - i hope you like it

"Why didn't you answer any of my calls?"

Sidney turned in surprise and saw Babington approaching. His friend waved his arms wildly and Sidney laughed.

"Good morning, Babington. I didn't know you would miss me so much. Please forgive me."

Hissing, Babington shook his head, but was pleased to see how satisfied Sidney looked.

“It's been four days since you or Charlotte were seen by someone. You weren't at our party on Sunday, nor was Charlotte, and after Esther and I are getting married on Saturday and you both have been the groomsmen, it's understandable that I'm a little worried."

Sidney actually felt a little guilty, but only for a moment.

The past four days had been fantastic.

They had barely left Charlotte's bed - their bed - made love, talked, and Sidney was sure that he had never laughed so much.He had watched with delight as Charlotte focused on his sketched floor plan of the apartment above the café, wondering which room could be used for what purpose. It had never been a question of whether they would move in there together once the apartment was ready. That was a fact that they both knew.

“We could set up a study here for both of us. In the morning the sun shines through the windows there and it is big enough for two desks. You could continue to work for the publishing house if you wanted, I could do the day-to-day business for the coffee roastery and together we could take care of the Café.”

Sidney had looked at her a little shyly and questioningly, his teeth dug uncertainly into his lower lip, and Charlotte had had the feeling that her heart would just stop.

She hadn't been able to answer him, but the beaming smile on her face and the glow in her eyes had been answer enough.Slowly she had climbed onto his lap, spread her legs for him and had taken him inside of her.Without parting their lips even once, immersed in a passionate, deep kiss, they had slowly made love as the plans for their new home and new life surrounded them on the bedroom floor.

Thinking of this now made Sidney’s skin get hot and his inside began to tingle, so he cleared his throat and concentrated again on Babington, who looked at him slightly amused.

"Are you okay?" He grinned with his eyebrows raised as if he knew exactly what Sidney's thoughts had been like.

"Yes," Sidney’s answer came immediately and sounded completely honest. "Yes, I'm okay."

Then he felt the hair on his neck straighten up, a familiar scent hit him and without looking around, he knew that Charlotte was approaching him from behind.She had bought two cups of coffee for them while Sidney waited in front of the Café and looked at the old buildin. It was really a nice house - like an old lady ....

Smiling, he reached back and closed his eyes for a moment as her warm fingers closed around his. She came close to him, leaned against his side and looked up at him.In her other hand she held two coffee-to-go, smiling, Sidney took a mug from her and slightly turned his body so that she could lean her head inconspicuously against his shoulder.

He loved her nearness, the fact that she wanted and seemed to need his closeness as he wanted and needed hers.

"Charlotte, nice to see you," said Georg and did not miss how the different sized bodies of the two seemed to fit together perfectly."Are you two going for a walk?"

Sidney shook his head at his friend's grin, but said nothing. He could feel Charlotte's body almost vibrating with excitement and wanted her to tell about their plans.

“We are on the way to the old coffee roastery.I've been there so many times, it's a beautiful place.” Her voice sounded enthusiastic, her cheeks were slightly red with delight and Sidney could only look at her in silence.

"It will be incredibly exciting to get the old factory back to work, I can't wait for the area to be teeming with artisans to put everything back in order."

Charlotte felt his eyes on her and her cheeks blushed even more.She looked at him sheepishly, but the expression on Sidney’s face was full of admiration and tenderness, so that her lips twisted with a smile.

He couldn't resist, it was just impossible.

In the middle of the promenade, right in front of the Café - not far from where she had torn his heart out of his chest a little over two months ago - he slowly bent down and grabbed Charlotte's lips in a slow, loving kiss. 

Babington watched in silence, but looked away after a few moments. He had never seen Sidney like this before.So open with his feelings, so loving and playful and above all so absolutely happy.

The darkness that had always surrounded him in some way was gone, replaced by a beam that Charlotte mirrored in the same way.

Somehow, Sidney remembered that Babington was still there and pulled unwillingly away from Charlotte's seductive lips.He would never get enough of her taste and the feeling of her as long as he lived. 

"Sorry ...," he murmured in Babington's direction, but didn't look like he was sorry for anything."Was there anything important you called me about or did you just want to know if I'm still alive?"

Charlotte laughed softly, took a sip of her coffee and then pressed her cheek against Sidney’s broad chest.With a racing heart she had watched him hesitate this morning, standing in front of the closet in the bedroom.She had put all of his garments in her closet, neatly beside her own, and had seen him look back and forth between shirt and vest and a casual, elegant dark gray sweater.

Then he reached for the sweater with a smile, slipped it over his head, and pushed up his long sleeves.

He looked so handsome in it, and even though Charlotte loved him in shirt and vest because it was just the way he was - how she met him, and how she fell in love with him - her whole body tingled with the thoughtthat he felt so comfortable and safe with her to break his strict dress code.

Sidney had noticed how she had watched him, had shrugged his shoulders and looked at her with his head tilted to one side and a crooked smile.They had hugged each other for a long time after Charlotte approached him and when he whispered in her ear how much he loved her, his voice was hoarse with emotion.

"Yes, there was actually a reason." Babington hesitated briefly, he really didn't want to bother the two now that they had finally found each other, but he had a real problem.“Tomorrow afternoon there is a meeting about the new aid that we want to send to Syria and the refugee camps.Jeff, who oversees the project, has postponed the appointment, but Esther was almost freaked out when I said I had to go to London tomorrow.”

Sidney nodded slowly and with a deep breath."So you thought I could attend the appointment ...".

It wasn't what he had imagined for the next few days, the thought of going to London without Charlotte was unbearable, but he couldn't say no.Of course he would take over the appointment, after all it was his company too, even if he had withdrawn.

Babington made an apologetic face and was about to say something when Charlotte came before him.

"Oh, that would be perfect.Esther bought the dress that I will wear on Saturday, but I have no shoes at all.I can hardly walk in my ballet flats, Esther would never forgive me, and she also said that the shoes should have a red sole.I am absolutely certain that I will not find such shoes here in Sanditon, but certainly in London.”

Excitedly she reached for Sidney’s upper arm, saw him looking amused and a little surprised, but then the next thought came to her.

"Oh, and we could meet with the man you were talking about, the one who's supposed to revise the machine for the coffee beans.And ...,“ more and more thoughts flooded her head and she talked quickly and breathlessly."And we could look around for furniture for our apartment ..."

When Charlotte felt his body shake through her hand on his arm, she stopped and looked at him slightly ashamed.He laughed silently, completely without reluctance, and she frowned.

"What?" She asked quietly, wanting to pull back a little from him, but his arm immediately closed around her waist and pressed her tightly to himself.

Still laughing, he leaned down to her, pressed his lips to her hair and kissed her head.

"I love you, Charlotte." Despite his laugh, he sounded completely sincere, his voice deep and tempting."I thought about how reluctant I would go without you, but you didn't even think about leaving me alone and make plans for what we can do together. I would love to go to London with you, sweety, and and I will buy you the most beautiful red sole shoes out there.”

Charlotte's hand slid from his hard upper arm to his stubble cheek, gently stroking her fingertips across his jaw to his lips and then she rose on tiptoe to kiss his beautiful mouth.

"I'm definitely not going to leave you alone any time soon, Sidney Parker.You won't get rid of me ... ", she mumbled with a smile and squeaked softly as he slid his hand on her butt and pressed her against him.

"I'll take your word for that ...," he whispered, heard Babington sigh theatrically and turned back to his friend, grinning.

"Sorry again, Babs ...," he said again completely insincere, but saw Babington grinning.

"Ok, I assume that you won't be back until Saturday and expect you at Denam Place at noon." Babington turned to go and finally leave him alone with her, but called back over his shoulder.

"And remember, it's my wedding.So be on time and behave properly." 

—- ~ —- 

Charlotte was amazed by the big, old factory building and admired the high ceiling and the beautiful windows.Sidney stood a few steps behind her, buried his hands in his pockets, and watched her.

He had loved this factory as a child when it still belonged to his grandfather.Back then, the heady smell of coffee was always in the air, and when Tom took over the factory and finally gave it up, he could hardly bear it.

But the Coffee roastery hadn't belonged to him since Tom was the heir.Now, ... now it was his, his and Charlotte's and her enthusiasm penetrated his heart.

Together they had admired the old building from the outside.It must have been from the 18th century and looked more like a mansion than a factory with a garden in front of it, in which countless flowers bloomed. 

"It's beautiful here," she said reverently, turning in a circle in front of the large cast iron stove. “Imagine that trucks with your own coffee beans from Antigua arrive here, are unloaded here and the beans are tipped into the funnel up there. It will smell of roasted coffee as if we were in heaven, and over there the coffee beans will be packed for buyers.”

She could picture it, and in the middle of it all Sidney with sleeves rolled up and a sweaty face from the heat of the cast iron stove and the hard work.

The amount of coffee they wanted to make here was rather small.They wanted to start slowly and see what they could achieve. Sidney wanted to roast beans in the old, traditional way and had studied the old records of his ancestors. He would do the job himself at the beginning and only roast the beans every few weeks until they knew if they would succeed. 

Now Sidney watched her with a smile.It was a miracle for him that she was so enthusiastic about this topic.It made his heart overflow with love for her, which made him almost dizzy.

Slowly he walked closer to her, caught her still rotating body with his arms and slowly pushed her backwards.

A little breathless and with flushed cheeks, Charlotte bit her lip.She knew the look on his face - when his eyes darkened, his lips opened slightly, and he looked at her as if he wanted to devour her.

He laughed with a snort as her teeth bored into the rosy flesh of her lower lip.She would never stop teasing him, and he would never stop responding to it.

Slowly, he slid his hands up from her waist around her ribs, still slowly pushing her backwards.Then her back hit the cast iron stove and Charlotte gasped. He did not stop, continued to move forward and pressed his hard body into hers. His fingers gently wrapped around her sides and lifted her body up a little until his hips could press directly into hers.

He loved the feeling of being pressed against her, being able to feel her as close as possible, and framing her small body with his big one.

Her mouth opened when Sidney bent his head down and licked the inside of her full lower lip with his tongue. The noise she made and the feeling of her hands gripping his hair made him harden immediately and Charlotte groaned when she felt him.

With a low growl, Sidney searched for her tongue, groaned when they met, and bowed his head to kiss her deeply and seductively. His hips moved against hers as Charlotte's hands fell down and slipped under his sweater.She enjoyed the twitch of his muscles, the heat of his skin, and moaned his name out loud as he reached for her breast with one hand. 

She was wearing a blue, tight blouse that emphasized her figure and denim shorts.The top buttons of her blouse were open, underneath a white top with a lace neckline appeared and since he had seen it this morning, he wanted to slide his tongue over the thin fabric.

Now it was his fingers sliding over it, but the thought never left his head.She barely allowed him to detach his lips from hers, followed him with her mouth and tried to dug her teeth into his lower lip.But suddenly the urge to taste her skin was overwhelming and in spite of her whimpering, he pulled away from her.

Charlotte whined. She didn't want to lose his lips, his taste, and his intoxicating mouth, but when his lips settled on her neck, she groaned loudly.

"Sidney ...".

In order to give him more space, she bent her head back, but at the same time raised one leg to feel his hard cock - which was clearly noticeable - more in her middle.

Growling Sidney’s lips slid deeper, finally found the lace of her neckline and his tongue couldn't wait anymore.

He licked softly, wetly and with lust over the top, reached the deep valley of the cleavage of her beautiful breasts and slid his tongue into it.He had the feeling of bursting, his pants hurt, he wanted her so much and knew that she felt the same. Her nails ran over his hot skin on his back, her other hand held his head and raised his face to her with a whimper.

Her eyes, cloudy with desire, met his, she breathed heavily and leaned closer to whisper in his mouth.

"I want you, Sidney ...".

He swallowed, reaching for her leg with one hand to slide over her bare, seductive thigh, while he wanted to use his other hand to pull her neckline aside. 

Just as their lips met again, they heard sounds from the heavy entrance door to the factory and Sidney groaned as frustrated and angry as Charlotte felt.

"Who knows what will become of it.If the coffee roastery is torn down, it will be a huge area right outside the town.The owner could build anything under our noses.”

James Stringer kept the heavy door open until his friend Fred had entered the great hall and looked around carefully.Maybe he could get the owner to give him a planning assignment for the site.

They happened to come over here and since he had only recently spoken to Tom Parker about the former Parker coffee roastery, he had stopped.

"Why do you suppose the building will be demolished?" Asked Fred curiously, even if he wasn't feeling well here.After all, they had almost broken in here.

"Well, Tom said the dandy who bought it had submitted plans to the town government, but he wasn't allowed to see them. Tom thinks he'll get competition and is freaking out.” James shrugged, stopped and raised his head to the beautiful arched windows.

Sidney was so angry that only Charlotte's hand on his arm prevented him from jumping towards James like a wild animal.

Not only that this asshole had interrupted him here with Charlotte, no, there was the man who, with his lies about him, had contributed to the painful break between him and Charlotte and indirectly called him _dandy_.

"I am the dandy who bought the coffee roastery, and I do not intend to tear it down, but to rebuild it and reopen it."

His voice echoed clearly through the high hall of the factory and with satisfaction he saw Stringer wince.Fred took a step back, startled.This could mean trouble and he was preparing to pull James out of here.

He had never had anything against Sidney Parker himself, nor had he believed the stories and rumors about him, but everything he had said to James about this topic had fallen on deaf ears.

James immediately tensed when he saw Charlotte at Sidney's side and walked slowly toward the two.He had had feelings for Charlotte since he first saw her and her attraction to Sidney had annoyed him from the start.

But after forbidding him ever talking about Parker again, after seeing how broken she looked, he felt guilty and bad.But Charlotte had avoided every conversation with him, hadn't given him the chance to apologize, and was now pushing her small body - apparently protective - in front of Sidney's imposing figure. 

Sidney watched in astonishment as Charlotte pushed her body in front of him, but then she bent a hand behind her back and pressed her palm against the hard, visible bulge in his tight jeans.

He had to bite his lip hard not to moan and instead hissed darkly in her ear as his fingers wrapped around her wrist.

She would surely be his death someday, he knew it ....

But she had managed to temper his anger a little. When she intertwined her fingers behind her back with his and leaned back slightly against his hard, secure body, his breathing also calmed down.But he was still looking at Stringer with a petrified expression as he slowly approached.

"What do you mean by that, Parker?" James clearly saw the closeness between the two of them and he was honestly a little relieved.He was happy for Charlotte that she had found what she wanted and he knew that he had behaved like an ass towards Sidney.

But in James' eyes, Sidney was an ass himself, so it was just okay ... 

"I own 5 coffee plantations. It therefore makes sense to import at least some of the coffee beans grown there to sanditon and process them here in our family's coffee roaster." Sidney kept his eyes on James, ready to burst at the first insult.

"How exactly are you going to rebuild the coffee roaster?" It was Fred who stepped closer to them and stood a little in front of James, perhaps to release the tension between the two men.But his voice sounded genuinely interested, so Charlotte answered him.

“The building needs to be renovated, but we don't want to change anything on the exterior facades.Most of the machines are still complete, only has to put them back into operation.It will work for sure, the Parkers left a lot of records of the factory.”

James leaned forward.Did she just say _we_?

"What do you mean with _we_ , Charlotte?" He asked uncertainly.He knew she said she loved Sidney, but Parker hadn't been back for even a week ...

"We," Sidney said clearly, to clarify the facts once and for all.“Charlotte and I will rebuild the coffee roaster together, and I would appreciate it if you stayed behind with slander in the future.Not just as far as the factory is concerned ... ”.

James snorted and it was Charlotte's presence alone and her fingers in his that kept him from snapping.

"Maybe you should just go, James." Charlotte sounded a little disappointed, but also determined and completely protective.They had always been friends and James didn't want to lose that.So he nodded, then looked at Sidney and said sincerely.

"Good luck with this - both of you." 

James walked slowly back to the door, but Fred had stopped.

"By the way, I read your mail. I would like to take a look at the apartment above the Café. I am sure that the building structure of the house is very good and only renovation work is necessary."

It was Charlotte's idea to ask Fred for a business offer related to the renovations work in the apartment, and since Georgiana liked the young man very much and had been talking about him all the time while in Antigua, Sidney wanted to give him a chance.

"Oh that's fantastic," Charlotte cheered enthusiastically. "Maybe we can make an appointment for early next week?" Questioning, she turned to Sidney, who nodded with a furtive smile.

How could it be that his feelings changed from completely aroused to absolutely angry to loving tenderness?

Fred said goodbye, and even before he completely turned away from them, Sidney’s arms wrapped around Charlotte’s waist and he pulled her back tight against his chest.With a sigh, his chin rested on her shoulder, he ran his lips over her neck and breathed in her soothing scent. She relaxed completely into him, hummed quietly, and closed her arms over his to push him even closer.

"I don't like him, and he can only thank you for not lying whimpering on the floor because I hit my fist into his face."

His deep voice tingled in Charlotte's body and she laughed softly."You wouldn't have done that at all because you are a good man." Her voice was full of seriousness and Sidney considered her words."I can also understand that you don't like him, he doesn't like you either."

Laughing, Sidney let his lips slide over her cheek to her mouth and kissed her, but before she could sip his lip, he pulled back.

"Let's go to the sea," he whispered softly, rubbing his nose against her cheek."I need to cool down urgently, and I'm sure that you are wearing too many clothes for what I want to do with you."

Charlotte shivered.It was just after noon, what if someone saw them?But he had told her that he knew a secret cove.Would he take her there?

When she turned her head back over her shoulder to look at him, she saw him smile at her crookedly and with an unknown glimmer in his eyes. Her stomach turned instantly, her body became hot, and she squeaked softly as he reached for her hand and pulled her after himself. 

—- ~ —- 

The cove was beautiful and in fact so far away from the beach that they were completely alone.

Charlotte watched with admiration as Sidney pulled his sweater over his head and turned to her bare-chested.The sun made his skin glitter, his face beamed with a huge smile and he just looked beautiful.

She couldn't look away from him, watched his muscles move under his tanned skin as Sidney slowly reached for the belt on his jeans.This time he undressed for her, watching with satisfaction and a racing heart how her breathing grew faster, how her eyes slid over his body and got caught on his hands. He was still hard, her gaze only worsened his arousal, and as he slowly brushed his jeans over his waist, he heard her moan.

His boxers stuck to him, clearly showing every detail and Charlotte had the feeling of losing her mind.

Was it that way for him when she undressed for him?

Her inside burned, her fingers tingled because she wanted to touch him so badly and she hurt between her legs for him.

Sidney heard the deep, shuddering breath she took as he pushed his boxers down over his legs. She bit her lip as he stood naked in front of her - his cock hard and upright - and her eyes admired him.

God, how much he wanted her ... 

Slowly he took the two steps to her, gripped her cheeks with his hands, and raised her face to his.But her eyes were closed, her lips slightly open, and without hesitation Sidney let his tongue slide into her mouth.

They both groaned, he felt her put her hands on his ass and gently caress him as her mouth moved with his in a deep and passionate kiss.

Desperately, Sidney pressed his body into hers, seeking her warmth, her skin, and pulled his lips back a little from hers.

"May I undress you?" In a rough and deep voice he practically begged her, whispered the words in her mouth and Charlotte could only nod.

Slowly, his hands slid down her neck and sides, as he ran his thumbs over her breasts.Then he reached for the hem of her blouse and pulled it over her head.At the same time, he lowered his mouth to her skin, licked the lace of her neckline again, while his hands slid under the thin fabric and onto her bare skin.

Her skin was warm, smooth and seductive, lighting a fire in him that he could not resist.With quick but sure movements he freed her from her clothes, took off her top, her bra and shorts and ran his fingers over her panties between her legs.

"Ooh ..., Charlotte ...," his voice trembled.Did she have any underwear other than lace panties?It drove him completely crazy, her soft, rough laugh and her hands on his back killed him and he sank to his knees with a groan.

The stones on the ground hurt, but he didn't care.She was so small that his face reached up to her ribs, he stretched his head and closed his lips around her nipple.

Charlotte's legs gave way, she had to hold on to him not to fall and reached into his hair.His hot mouth sucked on her hard nipple as the cool air swept over her body and caused goose bumps on both of them.

"Sidney, ... ooohh, I love it when you do that ...".Her moan was the most beautiful sound in his ears, slowly and deliberately he let the tip of his tongue slide over her hard nipple, he licked seductively around it and reached for her other breast with one hand.He gripped the soft, heavy flesh with the palm of his hand as he rolled the hard nipple between his fingers.

Her loud moan turned to whimper, his hand caressed her butt, slid over the perfect curve and he enjoyed the way she moved her hips slightly.As if she was searching for him ... 

Growling, he dropped his hand from her breast to her thigh, ran his mouth over her skin, sucked as much as he could from her breast between his lips and then licked her nipple again.

When his fingers reached her panties, another black, thin piece of lace, Charlotte's whole body trembled.His touches were so admiring, so loving and so arousing ...

"These panties kill me ...," Sidney murmured with her nipple between his lips.The fabric was thin, sensual and wet.So damn wet ...

"You are always wet when I touch you here," he whispered in an admiring voice and looked up at her briefly.With half-open eyelids, she looked down at him. The sight of him on his knees in front of her, with his lips on her nipple and his fingers on her wet panties were so incredibly sexy that she could only nod and whimper.

But when he slid his mouth down over her belly and pressed his lips to her folds under the thin fabric, she called his name out loud.

How should she take that?She couldn't, she felt like she was going to burst.

Her taste was sensual and seductive, Sidney opened his mouth and licked over her wet panties.

But it wasn't enough, he wanted to slide his tongue into her slit, wanted to taste her sweet juices without the irritating fabric of her sexy panties in his mouth, and lifted the lace off her folds with his thumb.

With his tongue he opened her, licked through her slit and groaned loud and dark with desire.But Charlotte swayed, could no longer stand upright, which is why Sidney got up, slid one arm under her knees and lifted her into his arms.Her fingers were still in his hair, immediately she pulled his head to hers and grabbed his lips greedily and lustfully.

Further near the cliff's rock face there was a smooth, large stone. With big steps Sidney walked up to it and held her safe, even if the pointed stones stuck into his bare feet.

He gently put her on the stone without loosening his mouth from hers, hooked his fingers into her panties and pulled them over her legs.

Now she was completely naked, just like him.

"I've never been naked outdoors." Charlotte's cheeks were bright red, her voice trembled, but she bravely met his gaze.Sidney looked at her, lovingly, tenderly, and almost desperately with lust. Slowly he raised a hand, stroked a few strands of stray hair from her face that had loosened from the wild knot on her head, and ran his thumb over her full, now red, lower lip.

He loved her, with all his heart and soul. That she was still blushing in front of him was adorable and he leaned forward to kiss her gently.

Then he let his hands slide down over her beautiful body.She was sitting slightly obliquely in front of him, her legs closed and on his right side, but now he was pulling his body back a little from her.

Breathing heavily and with black, intense eyes, he looked at her while he laid his fingers gently on her thighs.

"Nobody will see us, trust me ...," Sidney whispered hoarse and dark. He slowly began to spread her thighs, but he knew he would stop if she didn't want to.

His whispered request ran like a surge of electricity through Charlotte's body.Of course, she would trust him, anytime, anywhere.

She smiled slightly as she put one hand on his bearded cheek and one on his heart.Her bare breasts rose with her heavy breaths, just like his chest, but she let her thighs spread wide open from him. She leaned back slowly on the cold, smooth stone - without separating her eyes from his - and completely exposed herself for him.

The sight of her was absolutely arousing, Sidney’s cock was getting even harder and bigger, jerked towards her entrance, but he ignored it.He could hardly breathe when he let his eyes slide over her body - over her breasts that were lifting up against him, her tense stomach and over her spread legs. Goosebumps were all over her skin, slowly he pushed his hands from her thighs over her hips on her belly. At the same time, he bowed his head and licked his tongue through the deep valley between her breasts.

"Ahhh ...". Moaning, Charlotte arched her torso up, but she whimpered loudly as his mouth worshiped her breasts again.

With her legs she enclosed his body, pulled him closer and felt his hot, hard cock on her folds, but before he could slide inside of her, Sidney pulled back and sank back on his knees in front of her.

"Sidney ...", panting, she felt his soft lips brush the inside of her thighs, up and down, and her whole body throbbed.

In the background she heard the sound of the waves, the screeching of the gulls, but all her senses were on the man in front of her.

"You are so incredibly beautiful, Charlotte.So sexy ... ".He growled the words on her twitching skin, but it was impossible to hold back any longer.

Her scent was overwhelming, he longed to taste her and slowly licked completely through her open, wet slit.

Her long drawn, breathless cry of his name echoed in his ears, his hand reaching up to encircle her breast as he held her hips with the other.

He gently and slowly licked her, circling his tongue around her pearl until it pulsed and then sucked it hard into his mouth.When he felt her hips keep trying to lift, his lips sucked over her folds until he reached her wet hole. Again he licked slow circles, only dipping briefly inside of her until she reached into his hair with one hand and whimpered desperately.

Her whole inside throbbed, all the muscles in her body trembled and her desire to feel him inside of her was almost painful.

She screamed when he finally entered her with his tongue, pushed it completely into her entrance and let the fire explode inside her. Again and again he thrust his hot tongue into her wet warmth, but it didn't take long for her walls to cramp.

It made him proud that he could bring her to such an overwhelming climax with his tongue and lips alone. He heard her groan hoarsely his name and licked her inner, twitching walls.It was only when he felt her body's tremor ease that he pulled his tongue out of her entrance and gently wrapped his lips around her pulsating pearl.

His gentle sucking calmed her down, Charlotte's body went completely weak and she threatened to slide off the stone.

But his arms held her, Sidney got up and lovingly lifted her exhausted body to his.

"Come here, my love," he whispered softly. "I hold you, Charlotte.I hold you ...".

With tears in her eyes, her arms and legs closed around his body, her fingers reached for the back of his head and she pressed her forehead against his bearded cheek.

"I love you so much, Sidney." She kissed his lips gently, sipped at him and let her tears fall."I love you ...". 

Blindly, Sidney walked slowly to the water, he held her close and enjoyed her loving kisses.It was like a dream and he was infinitely grateful that she was here with him.

When the cold water flowed around their hot bodies, they both gasped loudly and Charlotte pressed even closer against him.

She felt his hard cock between them, and he seemed even thicker and longer. Realizing that he had only given her pleasure, that she hadn't even touched him, she let her hand slide down over his body.

"How can you hold yourself back so long each time?" Charlotte asked softly, meeting his eyes."I want you to feel the same as I do." Her cheeks blushed again and Sidney laughed with a choked sound.

"I feel the same, dear.I love your body, your reaction to my touch, to my lips, ... to my tongue ...," slowly his tongue dipped into her mouth and for long moments they were lost in a sensual kiss.

"It's insanely arousing and beautiful to see you fall undone because of me, and then it's my reward to enter your tight, wet warmth."

As he spoke, he grabbed her butt with one hand and lifted her up a little. At the same time, Charlotte's fingers encircled his cock, once sliding down his entire impressive length, but the sound of his deep, growling whimper was too much. Knowing that he must be painfully hard, she sliped his tip into her opening.

She looked at him as he thrust into her warmth with a low, relieved sigh and her heart was racing.He was so beautiful, so indescribably attractive, and his closed eyes and opened lips made him look so sensual.

He groaned deeply when he was finally completely inside of her, opened his mouth when Charlotte's tongue licked the inside of his upper lip and invited her to explore him.

They clung to each other, kissed deeply, and let the waves wash around them, while Sidney slowly and gently thrust himself inside of her. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, their bodies seemed to completely unite and they came together.

Sidney groaned loudly in her mouth and gently bit her lip so as not to scream.He poured himself hot into her, felt Charlotte's tight walls hold him inside and his body shuddered when he heard her hoarse, barely audible voice whispering his name.

He could have stood there forever, with her soft, beautiful body in his arms, buried in her damp warmth and with her fingers in his hair.

Even though the water was cold, they just stayed there, enjoying the sound of the sea, and watching the sun slowly set.

It was just perfect.


	30. London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for your comments. They are really nice and soothing. I hope you still enjoy this story and like reading it.

Charlotte was happy, let the hot water calm her and closed her eyes with a small sigh.

They had only arrived here in london at noon today, and when she stepped through the door she had hundreds of memories.This apartment would always be special because they had made love here for the first time.

"I love this place," she had muttered softly, and Sidney had looked at her smiling.

"Me too." He had let his gaze wander slowly and then turned back to her. "I would like to keep the apartment here - as our home in London."

Radiant with joy, Charlotte had walked up to him, put her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest.He had said our home ...

"I would love that ...," she had said and laughed when Sidney picked her up and spun around with her.

Now he had gone to the aid organization appointment and Charlotte had lay down in the large bathtub in the bathroom.She already felt at home here.

As the hot water relaxed her body, she thought about the past few days.Only yesterday had they shown themselves to the world again after being locked up for four days.Of course, they had felt a little bad about Esther and Babington, but they just hadn't been willing to leave their newly found togetherness on Sunday.Charlotte had called Esther yesterday and apologized, but Esther had only laughed.

"I knew you would not come, honey. Either you would be on your way to Antigua, which would have been really shit, or you would be happy in a bed.“ Esther had giggled but then became more serious. She was happy for Charlotte and certainly not angry or disappointed. „I understand that - I would have done the same and Georg said it was really cute to see you both together.”

The reason why they had arrived in london so late today was because they had stopped by the Trafalger house in the morning with fresh baked goods to have breakfast with Mary and the children.When they mentioned that Sidney would move here and live with Charlotte over the Café, they cheered and Sidney had to sit on the floor because the children all wanted to kiss his cheek at the same time.It was late morning before they said goodbye and Charlotte promised to bring them some books from london.

They hadn't seen Tom and they were both relieved about it.Mary was still not entirely satisfied with her husband, especially since he had made Arthur drive to Babington's family estate for a few days to take pictures of the garden there.He wouldn't be back until tomorrow, just in time for the wedding.

At the thought of the wedding, Charlotte got up and wrapped herself in a towel.She still had a few organizational questions to clarify for Esther - she had to call the photographer to remind him of the time of his arrival, ask the gardener when she could pick up the flowers tomorrow, and remind the dressmaker to head to Denham Place in case Esther's dress had to be changed a bit again. The list went on and she had intended to use the time for these things when Sidney was gone.

So she took his laptop, sat cross-legged on the couch and started working on the tasks. After she had finished - about an hour later - she sent a message to Esther, who immediately answered her with a kiss-mouth smiley.

Laughing, she closed the laptoo and was about to get dressed when the doorbell rang.At the sudden noise, Charlotte jumped and looked around uncertainly.

Did anyone know they were here?Should she open the door?

She walked slowly to the door but heard nothing, so she hesitantly turned the doorknob and peered outside.

There was no one there, but on the floor in front of the door was a large black cardboard box with a gray bow in which a red rose was tied.Charlotte just stared at it for a while until she slowly knelt down and gently stroked the petals of the rose.

It had to be from Sidney, she thought, taking the box and carrying it into the bedroom. Her heart was pounding wildly as she lifted the box lid and then she gasped.

A white dress made of embroidery and lace lay wrapped in paper in the box. There were also white shoes with an ankle strap and a deep red sole. Charlotte grabbed the dress in awe, rubbed the fine fabric between her fingers and felt tears in her eyes.

Then she spotted a card stuck between the two shoes and took it with her trembling fingers to read it.

_Dearest Charlotte,_

_I noticed that we didn't even had a real date._

_So I want to ask you to go out with me tonight._

_Meet me in front of the house in an hour, I can't wait to see you in this dress and shoes. I know that you will look beautiful, and my heart is racing just thinking about seeing you in it._

_I love you, Charlotte, forever and always._

_Yours, Sidney_

Charlotte couldn't help crying - she hadn't expected that.

It was incredibly romantic, her heart missed several beats and her fingers trembled.Carefully, she took the dress out of the box and held it up to her body.

It was sleeveless, reached up to her knee and was tied under the breasts with a deep red ribbon.The neckline was high, but completely transparent and made of pure embroidery that ran across the entire dress.It was beautiful and Charlotte laughed with tears.

She felt like a princess. 

After placing the rose in a vase on the bedside table, she went to the bathroom and took care of her hair and make-up with more effort than usual. Her long locks fell to the middle of her back, she braided the front strands and put them around her head like a wreath. She emphasized her eyes, otherwise she stayed as usual.He loved her as she was and she wanted to look natural.

When she slipped the beautiful dress over her body, she held her breath. The fabric was soft and smooth, beautifully framed her curves and her tanned arms and legs were only emphasized by the white dress. She found herself beautiful and hoped that Sidney would be pleased. The shoes fit like a glove, the heel was not too high, but just right and the red sole matched the band on her dress perfectly.

Charlotte wondered when he had bought all of this, how he could know her sizes so well, and her inside tingled with anticipation.

With a racing heart and a smile on her face, she left the apartment at exactly 6:00 p.m., slowly went down the stairs and felt that she could hardly breathe.

Sidney’s car was right in front of the house, he was leaning back against the driver’s door and watching her every step with dark, intense eyes.Her heart skipped a few beats at the sight of him.

He looked absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

In a dark gray, slim three-piece suit and a black shirt, he looked mysterious, almost somber, but his eyes sparkled and he had an adorable smile on his face.He was insanely attractive and sexy.

Sidney had waited nervously and because his legs were a little weak, he had leaned against his car. Choosing the dress and shoes for her had been nice, and he hoped he could make her happy with it.

Taking her on a date made his heart race, he had reserved a table in a beautiful, small but very romantic restaurant near Big Ben, and felt like his body was tearing apart with tension.

He wanted to do this right ...

When the apartment door opened, his breath caught and his body grew hot.He watched her every step as she came down the stairs and had to swallow several times.She was ... there was absolutely no word for how beautiful she was.

She was like a vision to him, her braided hair, her slim tanned body and the beautiful dress that he had chosen for her.

She was just beautiful. 

His legs trembled as he pulled away from his car to take a step towards her, but he was unable to find his voice.Charlotte saw him open his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then he exhaled audibly, shook his head with a smile, and bit his upper lip.

Without saying a word, he put his hands on her cheeks, came closer, and gently lifted her head to his.When his lips tenderly touched hers, Charlotte sighed softly. She loved his full, soft lips and the loving way he kissed her.

But Sidney couldn't withdraw, he needed her sweet taste and opened her lips with his tongue.This time she groaned, her hands reached for him, closed hot around his sides under his jacket, and burned through the fabric into his skin. Slowly he dipped into her mouth, he growled softly when her tongue hit his and tilted her head slightly with his fingers to deepen his kiss.

It took a long time for them to separate, they both breathed heavily and pressed so close together that they could feel each other's heartbeat.

"You ...," Sidney took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes slightly embarrassed for a moment.His reaction to her was obvious and hard to hide."You are beautiful, my love."

His voice was dark and rasping, but he sounded absolutely honest. The sound shivered through Charlotte's whole body and she had to hold on to him.

"You too ...," she replied with a whisper, she saw his eyes glow black and leaned up to him again to stroke his stubble with her lips.

He trembled, wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her a few inches off the ground. "I love you ...".

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte ran her hands over his chest and closed them around his neck.He smelled incredible, slowly she let her nose slide over his neck and kissed the place where she could feel his pulse.

"Thanks for the dress and shoes," she murmured."I ... I don't think I've ever received anything so beautiful as a gift."

Sidney gently put her back on her feet, pulled back a little and let his eyes wander over her body."It looks even more beautiful on you than I imagined."

The blush of her cheeks made his body ache for her, he kissed her again, but before the urge to grab her and carry her the stairs up again, he pulled away.

"Let me take you out, sweety," he asked, it seemed really important to him and Charlotte let him accompany her with weak legs to the passenger door. Before she got into his car, Sidney kissed her head gently, smiled brightly, and then ran around the car to slide behind the wheel.

Charlotte was sure that she had never been to such a nice restaurant.It was small, romantic and absolutely beautiful. They were sitting at a small table in the corner with two lit candles in front of them and drinking red wine.

"My sister called me this afternoon ...," Charlotte said casually as they waited for the dessert.

Sidney raised an eyebrow and grunted, his fingers absently playing with hers he held on the table, and until now he had been completely relaxed and happy.Several times they had drawn strange looks because they laughed out loud or because Sidney bent over the table to kiss her.

Now Charlotte could see a muscle twitch in his jaw and she leaned forward quickly to put her free hand over his.

"She feels really bad.Dad made her ask when she could visit us because he said she had to apologize to you personally. He was pretty angry when he found out about the whole thing and would have loved to put her in his car immediately to drive here.”

Sidney laughed softly, although the memory of what Alison had advised to say to him still cut him sharply.

"I like your father," he said, and Charlotte laughed.

"Are you angry with her?She had no evil in mind, she just has a slightly different view of the world.She got around a lot further than I did, had a lot more experience with men and some of them were pretty bad.She just wanted to protect me."

Taking a deep breath, Sidney leaned forward, tightened his grip on her fingers, and reached for one of her curls with the other hand.

"I appreciate that, ... that she wanted to protect you." He sounded honest, yet his voice was tense."But she doesn't know me. I ..., I've been judged by people so many times - misjudged. I'm just tired of that ...".

"I know," Charlotte murmured, looking into his eyes."I did the same and I'm sorry.You are an extraordinary man, Sidney.You don't let a lot of people see you as you really are, so it is hard to really know you.” She hesitated, grabbed his hand, which was still playing with her long curl, and lifted it to her mouth.She tenderly pressed a kiss on the palm of his hand and smiled shyly.

"But I see you - I know you as you really are.And I love you ...".

Smiling, Sidney pulled her hand to him and kissed her palm too.

"I love you too, Charlotte," he murmured to her skin, then cocked his head to one side."I'm not angry with her, she gave you bad advice, that's all."

Charlotte sighed with relief and then smiled uncertainly."Would you call her?"

Surprised by the question, Sidney laughed and raised his eyebrows."Call her?"

"Yes, Dad insists that she talk to you and she wants to apologize."

Sidney could see that it would mean a lot to her, so he looked at her lovingly. "Maybe we should just go visit them ... we could go to Willingden for a few days sometime next week."

Charlotte's face lit up and she put a hand over her mouth."Really ...?"

"I'd like to meet your family, Charlotte." Sidney shrugged, his typical crooked grin on his face, and was pleased with her enthusiasm

"That would be very nice, Sidney." She spoke softly and her voice was full of emotions.She would love to show him her home, and it meant a lot to her that the suggestion came from him. 

—- ~ —- 

Sidney couldn't help but take a step behind Charlotte and admire her figure as they left the restaurant and walked into the side street where they had parked.The red sole shoes made her legs look incredibly long, and she looked really sexy.He couldn't resist, slowly raised his hand and ran his fingertips over the perfect curve of her butt.

When she felt his fingers, she had to close her eyes briefly. That he couldn't keep his hands off her body made her feel so seductive, and it made her heart race.Slowly she turned to him, saw where his eyes were and grinned cheekily.

"Where are your eyes, Mr. Parker?" She asked softly and in a seductive voice and saw Sidney bite his lip.Now his eyes slowly slid up over her belly, briefly caught on her breasts and then wandered to her face.

"I admire the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." His deep growl caused goosebumps on her body and she couldn't help but moan as his body slowly pressed against hers.His hands lay hot on her hips and pulled her closer before he slid a hand up and brushed her breast with his thumb.

A rough growl escaped his lips when he felt that she wasn't wearing a bra. Charlotte shivered, she could see his eyes darken and her breath became uneven as she felt his thumb immediately search for her nipple.

Sidney felt like he was going to burst. Slowly he leaned down to her, heard her soft moan when he found her nipple and gently circled it with his thumb and saw her lips open slightly.

She was irresistible, he couldn't help it and licked her rosy lips with the tip of his tongue.With a hoarse whimper she pushed her fingers into his hair, her mouth opened and she hit his tongue with hers.She devoured him, dived into his mouth and kissed him deeply.

His palm closed completely around her round, heavy breast, while another thought occurred to him.If she wasn't wearing a bra, what kind of panties was she wearing?

Slowly his hand slid down over her hip, this time slipping more consciously on her butt and looking for fabric prints under her dress. There was none, only a thin strip of fabric felt around her hips. Otherwise he felt nothing.

He gasped, pulled back a little from her and looked into her glittering eyes.

"You ...," he whispered completely tonelessly, almost as if it were just a breath.

Charlotte grinned, bit her lip and slipped her fingertips over his stubble.She had known he was going to go crazy when he noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra.The panties that she wore could hardly be called such, and she had put them on for him with complete intent.And now she saw his eyes glowing with desire, felt his hands on her body and felt like she was falling apart with longing for him.

Still smiling, she dropped a hand on his ass, pressed his body against hers, and gripped his mouth in a deep, hungry kiss. 

Only the horn of a car far away reminded them both of where they were and they looked at each other with heavy breaths.

"Are you going to dance with me?"

He had been thinking about what he wanted to do with her on this date and he really wanted to dance with her.Back at the opening of Crowes Club in Sanditon, he had watched her move to music, and the picture never got out of his head. They had danced only once, and although that wasn't usually his thing, he wanted to hold her in his arms in a dark club on a narrow dance floor.

Swaying slightly, Charlotte slipped her hands under his jacket onto his vest. His whispered question made her shiver, it was incredibly cute.

"Yes." She nodded, kissed his lips again, and then laughed with joy."Yes, I would like that."

The club Sidney brought her to also belonged to Crowe and was more than hip.The music was loud, it was dark and the dance floor was full, but it had a special atmosphere.

Charlotte held onto his arm as they slowly walked towards the bar.She had rarely been to clubs, felt like she was being stared at, and her cheeks flushed slightly.

"Don't be nervous." Suddenly she heard Sidney’s deep voice in her ear and she shivered.She looked up at him, noticed how he was looking at her and smiled."A few people know me here, but you are ..., you belong to me and I want to show it."

He didn't want to call her his girlfriend, that seemed far too little.She was so much more than just his girlfriend.She was ... she was everything. Charlotte seemed to understand what he was going to say as she pressed closer to his side.

"I have to say that is a sight that I think has never been seen in this house."

They both turned when they heard Crowe's voice and Sidney bowed his head.He knew what was coming and decided to just endure it.

"Sidney Parker smiles, and not just a twisted corner of his mouth, no - a beaming smile.It must be the beautiful woman next to him ... ".

Grinning, Crowe leaned forward to give Charlotte a quick hug.He whispered something in her ear that made her cheeks blush terribly.

"He was half dead after things went wrong with you.I've seen that before, but now - nobody knows him likethat.So take care of him and be good to him.He deserved it ... ".

"I will ..,." Charlotte promised, her voice serious and her eyes full of tears.

Sidney raised his eyebrows in confusion.He had clearly missed something.Just as he was about to ask Charlotte if everything was all right, she raised their bandaged hands and pressed a gentle kiss on his fingers.Her eyes were full of love when she looked up at him and for a brief moment she put her hand on his chest.He had taken off his jacket and left it in the car, all he was wearing was his shirt, vest, and pants and she loved the sight of him.He was really beautiful ...

"I'll be right back ..." she said, releasing him and heading towards the ladies' room. 

"What did you do to her?" Annoyed, Sidney turned to Crowe, who smiled and raised his hands in defense.

"I like a happy Sidney," Crowe said, winking."I just asked her to take care of you."

Sidney snorted, looked after Charlotte, but then grinned.

"Come on, I'll spend you a drink." He laughed and went to the bar with Crowe, but Sidney’s gaze shifted to the dance floor.He really wanted nothing more than to hold her body in his arms ....

"I knew you would try to get him when you were so close to his side in that horrible old house."

Charlotte turned in surprise when a shrill, loud voice came from behind her, but as soon as she recognized the person, her heart went cold.

She had calmed down a bit in the ladies' rooms and was on her way to finally be able to go to the dance floor with Sidney, but now she froze.

Eliza's gaze slid over her, she seemed to be evaluating her, and then she clicked her tongue.

"You're cute, but trust me, it won't keep him for long.He was always been looking for something no one could give him, and neither will you."

Charlotte's heart ached at the words of the woman who had once been his wife, and suddenly she felt an overwhelming anger.

"Maybe he was just looking for someone who loves him unconditionally.Without demanding anything, without expecting anything in return. I didn't want to get him, I fell in love with him.Love is not about owning someone, it's about giving yourself to the other as a gift. And that's exactly what we did. Your lies won't change that, so please just leave us both alone." 

For a moment, Charlotte wasn't sure if she shouldn't have just been silent. Eliza was Sidney’s ex-wife, she had once been part of his life and Charlotte didn’t know if he wanted to show his relationship with her in front of Eliza.

But then she felt his warm hand on her lower back, felt his large, protective body right behind hers and felt his warmth and scent surrounded her. She gasped for breath as his lips dropped to the crook of her neck, but instinctively leaned back against his strong body.

"Shall we dance?" Sidney whispered the question softly on her neck and enjoyed the goose bumps his dark voice triggered on her.

He had looked for her and had seen her come out of the ladies' room.His heart had started pounding when he watched Eliza speak to her and had walked to them with quick steps.But what Charlotte had said made his body get hot, his heart burst, and the love he felt for her at that moment was completely overwhelming.

She loved him, she defended him and she protected him.It was almost too much to really deserve.

With a small smile, Charlotte turned her head to look at him, but she could only nod.His arm was around her waist, his hand was warm and possessive on her stomach, and his eyes were dark and loving.

How much she loved this man ...

With the look on her face, Sidney knew exactly what she was thinking. He smiled, leaned closer and kissed her lips gently.Then he reached for her hand, turned and pulled her with him.

Full of anger, Eliza watched the man who had always belonged to her protectively put his arms around another and kissed her in the midst of all these people.

It had always bothered him in their time together, he didn't want the public show - as he called it - which is why she had started doing it on purpose at some point.

When Sidney turned away from her without a word or even a glance, she realized that she had lost him, that maybe he had never really been her property and her anger was about to boil over. She was looking at her options for whether or not to create a scene when she heard his cold voice.

"Oh Eliza, ... I've only now realized what I was missing so much at the time." Sidney stopped, held Charlotte close to his body and looked almost sadly in her direction.“I was missing love - simple honest love that I can give whenever I want and that I get whenever I need it. I ask you to listen to Charlotte and leave us alone. I think ... I think you owe me that ... ".

He was right. At least she owed him that, and even if it was a big lump that she had to swallow, she did.Eliza nodded, almost enviously watching the proximity between the two people in front of her, watched Charlotte gently put her hand on Sidney’s chest and how he exhaled in relief.

Then she saw him smile, put his lips in Charlotte's thick curls, and finally, they turned away from her.

Eliza watched them go, admitting that she was disappointed, and then went to the bar to find a guy for the night who would worship her as well.

The dance floor was crowded and Sidney led her further back where it was darker and less cramped.Slowly he turned to her, his dark eyes searching for hers as he walked backwards in front of her and finally stopped.

Charlotte kept moving until her body touched his and she could feel his hard chest squeeze into hers with his heavy breaths.

"Thank you ... for what you said." Sidney gently put his hand on her cheek and neck, pulled her closer and lowered his head. "For standing by my side."

Slowly and sensually, he ran his lips over hers, stroked her mouth with his and felt her grip on his upper arms in search of support.

His hard muscles under her fingers sent a shiver down Charlotte's back and her legs were soft before they even started dancing.With a sigh, she caught his tender lips, pulled his lower lip between hers and kissed him tightly.

"I'll stand by your side, Sidney, whenever you need it. I'll stand in front of you if necessary and I will defend you from anyone who offends you. I love you, Sidney, and you ... you are mine.I will not allow her to talk about you like this - about us."

Sidney swallowed, took a deep breath and his eyes filled with tears.He couldn't speak, he knew his voice wouldn't work, so he wrapped his arms around her, lowered his head and gripped her mouth in a kiss that was passionate, loving, and utterly consuming. 

Their bodies seemed to be one, they were dancing slowly and in the far corner of the floor, moving to the deep boom of the bass, forgetting everything else around them.

Sidney shivered as Charlotte's fingers started sliding over his body.She stroked his chest, played with one of the three buttons on his vest as if she wanted to open them, but then went deeper. His pants had been tight on him all evening, but now that her fingers were playing with his belt, he was getting really hard.

Sidney couldn't stop moaning, practically whimpered in her mouth and gave up his reluctance.He shoved his hand back onto her butt and pressed her hips into his as his other fingers slid over the soft fabric of her dress to her breast.

The thought that only the thin fabric of the dress separated him from her bare breast burned inside him and her moan as he took her soft flesh in his palm was pleading and longing.

Again he felt her hard nipple, ran his thumb over it and felt Charlotte grabbing his butt. 

They only endured a few songs before the longing for one another became unbearable.Charlotte pulled back slightly, Sidney saw exactly what he felt in her eyes and growled the words tonelessly on her lips.

"I want you ....".

At his words Charlotte shivered, took his hand and hurriedly pulled him out of the club.

—- ~ —- 

It was the second time he drove through town too fast, and again Charlotte said nothing - she was very busy slowly sliding her hand over his thigh.Her fingers slid higher and higher, touching the inside of his thigh and she felt his muscles twitch under her touch.

Then she had reached the place she was looking for and she moaned softly when she felt how incredibly hard he was. It had to hurt him, his pants stretched over the bulge of his big cock.

Hardly able to concentrate on the traffic, Sidney enjoyed and cursed her hand equally.How could he bear to feel her fingers on him - but he wouldn't stand if she stopped.

When she put her flat hand on his cock, he growled through clenched teeth and inhaled sharply.She killed him very slowly ...

The sound of his deep voice made Charlotte brave and she slowly stroked the hard bulge with two of her fingers, felt him clearly under the fabric of his pants and could not resist. Slowly she grabbed his belt again, loosened it, and gasped when Sidney abruptly brought the car to a stop at a red light and gripped her thigh firmly with his hand.

He hissed softly, the touch of her bare thigh burned in his fingers and he slowly slid up. He watched with fascination as his hand disappeared under the skirt of her dress. Her skin twitched the higher he came, and then he felt wetness and warmth.

She seemed to be soaking wet. Her panties were so thin that he thought it wasn't there at all.When he touched her, Charlotte's eyes closed and her legs spread as if by themselves. She groaned as his fingers stroked her folds, pressed into her slit over her panties and searched for her pearl.

"Sidney ...".Her voice was barely audible, but she felt like she was burning. It got worse as his fingers slid under the thin lace band and he gently pulled.

God, did he really want ...

Charlotte opened her eyes just to find his face in front of hers.His eyes were intense and black in the dark, she couldn't resist him and raised her butt slightly.

As Sindey slowly took off her panties, his tongue entered her mouth through her open lips.It was a hungry kiss, full of desire and lust.She whimpered as she lifted her feet and Sidney stretched his arm to take off her panties completely.

Absently, he threw the fabric into his lap, immediately put his fingers back under her dress and slid his fingers up and down in her wet slit.

"We have to get out of this damn car," Sidney growled into her mouth, he would tear apart if he couldn't feel her on him soon.

Charlotte's laugh was hoarse and shaky, she didn't want to let go of his lips and whimpered as his hand pulled back.

The traffic light was green, probably for the second time, and Sidney was going to finally get home.But Charlotte couldn't keep her fingers by herself, she leaned over to him, slowly unbuttoned his vest, and then reached for the buttons on his shirt. She felt Sidney's breath tickle her face, ran her lips over his cheek and kissed his bearded skin gently.

With each button she opened, her fingers slipped more over his bare chest until she dipped her fingertips into his navel. Sidney had trouble not closing his eyes.He had to concentrate on the street, but her fingers and knowing that she was completely naked underneath her dress made it difficult for him. When Charlotte slid her fingers over his hard six-pack, causing his muscles to tighten, he hissed and grabbed her thigh.

"I love your skin, your muscles ...," whispered Charlotte, looking at him. Slowly she bowed her head, pressed her lips gently to his now bare chest and ran her fingers over the bulge in his pants again.

Panting, Sidney gripped her thigh more tightly, was relieved when he finally turned into their street and stopped the car.

"You are ...," he murmured hoarsely, lifting her head to his."You are the seduction and sensuality in person and one day you will just destroy me."

Breathing heavily, he pressed a hard kiss on her lips, reached for her panties to put them in his pocket, and got out of the car.He quickly ran to her door to open it before hurrying up the stairs together. 

As Charlotte unlocked the door to their apartment, Sidney slowly opened the zipper on her dress.His shirt and vest hung open over his shoulders, the fresh night air tingled on his skin and the more he opened the fastener, the more goose bumps formed on her bare back.

Her hands trembled so much that it took Charlotte a moment to open the door.She made it a few steps over the threshold before Sidney turned her over and put his hands on her neck.

"This was a wonderful evening, Charlotte," he said softly.Slowly he reached for her dress, shoved the white fabric over her shoulders, and watched it fall to the floor in a flowing motion.

Completely naked, only in white shoes with a red sole, Charlotte stood in front of him and heard him try to take a shaky, shuddering breath.

"Oh _fucking hell_ , Charlotte ...," he groaned, reached for her, but Charlotte pressed her hands against his bare chest, pushed him back against the door and let her fingers slide to his shoulders.Without taking her eyes off his body, she slipped his vest and shirt onto the floor. Then she reached for the button on his pants, opened it and laughed softly as he wriggled out of his shoes, socks, and pants.

Watching her undress him, completely naked and only in high-heeled shoes was so incredibly sexy, he longed to enter her warmth, but Charlotte's eyes began to glitter ominously.She pushed his hands away as he tried to reach for her and sank to her knees in front of him.

Sidney’s breath caught, all the muscles in his body tightened and he shook his head.

"Don't ...," he whispered in a harsh voice, but Charlotte was already reaching for his boxers and pulling them down.

Sidney felt her breath on him, he threw his head back and hit it against the wood of the front door.He was trembling, his whole body wanted to touch her and he gasped roughly when he felt her lips on his hip bone.

The feeling of pride that pierced Charlotte's body was overwhelming.Seeing what strong sensations she might cause in him made her brave and slowly let her lips slide to his hard, erect cock.

She gently kissed the soft, velvety skin that stretched over its hard length.When she felt the thick veins that were emerging and already pulsing, she opened her mouth and licked her tongue over them.

"Charlotte ...".Sidney growled her name out loud, unable to hold back and shoved his hands into her hair.Her tongue was hot and wet, reached his sensitive tip and circled around it.He heard her hum with pleasure, felt her lips around him to gently suck him into her mouth, and felt that his heart would simply stop beating with arousal and desire.

It was exhilarating for Charlotte to have such complete power over him. His hands held her head but did not control her movements.She took up his length in her warm mouth, gripped his shaft with one hand and sucked. His breathing was getting harder, she heard him moan and gasp loudly, but when she licked her tongue over his entire impressive length, he whimpered her name almost desperately.

It was unbearable, he knew he would be unable to hold back and with one quick movement he put his hands under her arms, lifting her until her legs automatically wrapped around his waist and turned around.

The loss of her warm mouth was almost painful, he heard Charlotte whimper when her back hit the door, but she screamed his name as he entered her with a single hard thrust.

Charlotte admired the way his muscles moved under his skin as he kept burying his big, hard cock in her wet, tight warmth. Moaning, Sidney’s mouth found hers, demanding her in a deep kiss, but when the hot ball started to explode inside of him, he pulled back and hid his face against her neck.

Desperate, Charlotte pressed his head against herself, she arched and groaned as he reached for her breast with one hand.He was so deep inside her, moving hard and demanding, and she fell apart completely.

Sidney heard her scream his name, felt her walls close around him, and gave in. His redemption made his body tremble and his legs weak, his voice didn't work, but he moaned softly on her skin.

"I love you, Charlotte, I ...," he swallowed, raised his head after a while and searched her eyes."Forgive me, I didn't want to be so rough."

Still breathing heavily, Charlotte closed her legs and arms more tightly around his strong body, she loved that he could carry her so effortlessly and met his dark, loving eyes.

"You weren't, Sidney. The strength of your body is impressive, but you don't hurt me. You always hold me and I trust you."

Now his lips were tender and gentle, his hands admiringly slid over her body until they lay tight under her butt.

With strong arms and secure steps, he carried her to their bedroom, gently laid her in their bed and then carefully removed her shoes. He kissed every ankle tenderly with his lips, then knelt on the mattress.

Slowly, he began to stroke every inch of her skin with his stubble until her whole body screamed for him and she could only whisper his name.

He loved her tenderly, gently, and slowly until they fell asleep in each other's arms, completely exhausted and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the penultimate chapter. The next one is the last one but there will be an epilogue. So we are unfortunately nearing the end ..


	31. A special day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very long chapter, but I like long chapters and hope that you will forgive me for the long wait in return ...  
> I hope you enjoy it.

"Can you two please stop being so disgustingly happy?" Crowe groaned and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

"I'm getting married today, so I can be happy." Babington grinned proudly, corrected his tie for the hundredth time and smoothed out his suit while Sidney said nothing.

He and Charlotte had decided to leave London at dawn that morning and postpone all the appointments they wanted to make to be there for Babington and Esther on that special day.

Therefore, they had already arrived in Esther's large apartment for breakfast and were greeted enthusiastically.The four had spent the whole morning together until Charlotte and Esther went to Denham Place, where a stylist was waiting.

Now it was only an hour until the wedding ceremony, which would take place in a chapel that belonged to the museum. The three friends were sitting in one of the salons in the old part of the huge house, laughing and joking.

"What's your excuse, Parker?" Crowe wasn't a romantic person and all this talk about getting married made him feel uncomfortable.But Georg was beaming with happiness, and Sidney also had a smile on his face all day.

Now he shrugged and slapped Babington's hands off his own tie.

"I don't have any, I'm just happy." He laughed now, but then turned to Babington with his eyebrows raised."You know I hate ties.If you try once more to tighten this thing around my neck, I will take it off completely and will not even wear it for the wedding ceremony.”

Esther had insisted on a uniform dress code and Sidney had given in. But only on the condition that he was allowed to take off his tie after the official part. Defeated, Georg raised his arms and laughed loudly, just as there was a knock on the door.

It was Arthur who opened the door a crack, and when he found his brother, he beamed all over his face.With a smile, Sidney shook his head as Arthur approached him with his arms outstretched.But he returned his brother's hug, held him for a moment, and then pulled back to look a little ashamed at the floor.

"Arthur, I ...", Sdney didn't know how to say it, but he just forced himself to say what was in his head."I want to thank you - for your kindness and your support.That you were there for me means a lot to me. I don't know what I would have done without you, especially the night you took me home with you and away from Tom ”

Sidney grinned wryly as he looked up into his little brother's big eyes."Also, I know Tom is tormenting you now, but ... well, I think I'll be spending a lot more time here in Sanditon now, so we could take care of him together in the future."

Arthur was speechless for a moment. Then he hugged Sidey again and had to wipe a few tears from the corner of his eyes.

"You are my brother and I love you, Sidney.I am grateful that you have let me help you and I look forward to having you here in Sanditon in the future. You and Charlotte."

They both laughed, but then Arthur got serious again."I'm glad you forgave her.I wouldn't have allowed you much longer to make both of you suffer like this. Diana and I already had a plan ... ".

Sidney swallowed. He smiled gratefully at his brother and then squeezed Arthur's arm.

"Thank you ...," he murmured before Crowe got up and handed everyone a glass of whiskey.

—- ~ —-

With a laugh, Charlotte watched Esther turn in a circle.She looked really beautiful in a long, narrow wedding dress and her eyes shone with happiness.

"Wow, you look really adorable." 

Giggling, Esther stopped and looked down at herself."Do you think?Do you think Georg will like it?"

"Oh, I'm sure." Charlotte stepped forward to pull a few folds out of the dress as Esther reached for her hand.

"Thank you for your help, Charlotte," she whispered softly.She was very emotional today and was happy that Charlotte was here."You thought of so many things that I would have paid no attention to."

"Hey, today is your wedding, your day," said Charlotte, stroking Esther's dress again."Yours and Georgs. He was so excited this morning, it's really cute."

Esther nodded, laughing. "Would you maybe check on him? I'm afraid that Crowe will make him drink too much whiskey to calm him down.”

Charlotte shook her head but was already going to the door."I don't think you have to worry, but I'll look after him." 

With a smile, she went up one floor to get to the room where the men were getting ready.She was curious about what Sidney would look like since his suit was chosen by Babington.

She knocked softly, heard loud laughter from inside, and opened the door.The men actually had a glass of whiskey in their hands, but at least Babington, Arthur, and Sidney hardly seemed to have drunk anything. When she entered, everyone turned around and she heard Sidney choke on the sip of the amber liquid he had just taken. She raised her eyebrows anxiously and looked at him, but then Babington came up to her hastily.

"Is Esther all right? Had something happened?"

To calm him down, she turned to him, even if it was hard for her to detach her eyes from Sidney."She's fine," she said quickly, squeezing Georg's hand, which she had reached for."She asked me to look after you ... so you don't drink too much whiskey."

With her eyebrows raised, she took the glass from his hand and put it on the table next to which she was standing.

"She doesn't have to worry, I'm sure I won't be drunk on my wedding day." Grinning, Babington looked down at himself and then frowned questioningly."What do I look like?Do you think she will like it?"

"I'm sure ...," Charlotte started, but was interrupted when she was suddenly grabbed by the arm and pushed back out of the door.

"Why is your face so red?" She heard Arthur's teasing voice before Sidney slammed the door behind him and pressed Charlotte against the opposite wall. 

His throat was still burning from the sip of the whiskey, but the sight of her had completely knocked him off the track.

She looked beautiful, the dress was great, but it was her shoes that made him lose control of his body.The damn white shoes with the dark red sole.

"Is there anything that bothered you, hmm?" Charlotte murmured the words against his mouth with a grin on her face.He was so close to her that their lips almost touched and his cheeks were really flushed.He looked adorable and Charlotte started to tremble.

Sidney breathed hard, dug his teeth into his lower lip, and shivered as her fingers wrapped around his scratchy cheeks and pulled his face closer to hers.

She gently stroked her lips over his, making him let out a deep growl before he caught her mouth in a hot, deep kiss.

"You shouldn't be wearing these shoes," Sidney whispered softly in her mouth and Charlotte was very aware of where his hands were.They wrapped around her sides, but his thumbs stroked gently over the swelling of her breasts. "They drive me crazy ...".

Charlotte moaned softly, sipping his lip and stroking his tongue with hers, while Sidney pressed more against her and made her feel how much he wanted her. He was hard, pressed against her middle and Charlotte rubbed herself lightly against him. But Sdney gripped her hips with a hiss, held her motionless, and pulled back to look at her with dark eyes.

"Don't do this to me ...," he murmured softly and sounded really desperate. "This day is just beginning, how am I supposed to endure not immediately taking you here on this wall?"

He could see in her eyes that she was thinking about this possibility - that she wanted him to do it - and it made him laugh half shivering - half amused.

He gently reached for her face, kissed her tenderly, and then leaned his forehead against hers. "You look very pretty, sweety, really beautiful."

God, he was irresistible. He triggered so many different feelings in her that it was difficult for her to think clearly.She gently caressed his face, pressed her lips to his and enjoyed his soothing warmth.

"You also look very attractive. I don't think I've ever seen you in such bright colors. Only your tie is black and you don't like ties."

Sidney laughed, she knew him too well.The three-piece suit he was wearing - which all men were wearing - was a light gray, the shirt was white, and frankly he felt a little uncomfortable.But it didn't matter, today was his best friend's wedding and at least he didn't had to wear a light blue, as Crowe had joked earlier. 

They heard a loud clearing of throat next to them and turned their heads in alarm. It was Tom standing there, and Sidney couldn't help but sigh softly.Slowly he pulled away from Charlotte, stood slightly behind her and saw her try to hide a grin.

She had said she would stand in front of him whenever he needed it, and now he needed it.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you," Tom started slowly, looking back and forth between the two and wiggle nervously from one leg to the other."Mary forced me ..., no." He exhaled audibly and then straightened up."I would like to wish you both all the best, I am very happy that you have found each other and hope you are happy together."

Charlotte could hear Sidney swallowing hard, so she answered first. "Thanks Tom.We had to ... to get rid of rumors and wrong facts first, but we're happy now.” She couldn't quite get the hard undertone out of her voice and she saw Tom's face twist. Sidney said nothing, anything he could have said would have been insulting.

Clearing his throat again, Tom turned back to the stairs and waved his hand."Mary asked me to tell you, Sidney, that Babington should take his place in the chapel. The pastor is already waiting."

"We're coming ...," Sidney replied shortly and only exhaled when Tom walked down the hall.

Without a word, Charlotte wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.She sighed when he returned the hug, then kissed her hair and they parted with a loving look.

They both had to do their jobs for today, but they would not get out of bed tomorrow. 

—- ~ —- 

Charlotte felt his eyes on her throughout the ceremony. 

She was on the left side of Esther on the second-highest step leading to the altar, while Sidney was on the same step on the right of Babington.They were facing each other, and while Charlotte kept looking away from him because he just looked too good and because she was afraid that someone would notice how she swayed slightly, his eyes stayed on her.

It was impossible for Sidney to look away from her.Too many thoughts whirled in his head and only the sight of her prevented him from leaving the chapel.

He remembered his own wedding so long ago, the hope he had back then, hope he would be enough for Eliza at some point.He remembered the feeling when his world broke apart and how he felt betrayed and abandoned when he got divorced.

He knew that he could barely hide his thoughts and that his feelings were written on his face because Charlotte frowned worriedly and unconsciously reached her hand a little in his direction, as if to touch him.This little gesture made him smile and now only one feeling flowed through him.

The feeling of being complete again and having a home with her.

He slowly let his eyes wander down her face, neck and body.The dark red dress that Esther had chosen really suited her perfectly, it flowed softly around her body and although it showed everyone present more than he would have liked, she looked beautiful.

It ended above her knees, showing her long legs, but Sidney stopped before he got to her feet. He didn't want to blush again, so he avoided her shoes and let his eyes slide back to her face. He could see that she was burning under his eyes, saw the goose bumps on her arms and smiled lovingly at her.She returned the smile, then looked briefly at Esther, but her eyes also went back to him.

And then the classic marriage vow came.

_‘ ...to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health;to love and to cherish; till death us do part; ...‘_

When the words were spoken, Charlotte and Sidney kept looking at each other. She could see how his eyes got an intense expression, how they darkened with emotion, and how his lips opened a little.She felt as if he was repeating the words in his head, as if he was speaking them to her and her heart was racing.

And that was exactly what Sidney did. In his head he said the marriage vow to Charlotte.

He had never thought about getting married again. It seemed completely absurd - until now.Suddenly he felt a deep need to belong to her, officially and in front of the whole world. He felt a deep desire to make her his wife and to give her his name - as Mrs. Sidney Parker.If she wanted it at all.But the way she looked at him made him think she might.

Sidney’s breathing was getting faster, his heart was racing, and he swallowed hard to calm down.They were just at the beginning of their relationship, even if the one week felt more intense and real than anything he has ever experienced in his life.

When Esther and Babington put their wedding rings on each other's fingers and kissed afterwards, Sidney gave her a bright smile that made Charlottes heart skip a few beats.Would she also stand next to him in a chapel at some point and give him the promise?She had said the words in her head, she knew she felt this wish deep down inside, but would he ever want to marry again? He had experienced it all before, with another woman.Would he even want her to be his wife and have his name?

She didn't know, so she just focused on the momemt and sank into his dark eyes. Something was going on in his head, she saw the telltale muscle twitch in his jaw and she longed to calm him down.

When the pastor released the bride and groom, the two kissed again and then cheered to the crowd. Charlotte hugged Esther, wished her luck and kissed her cheek.She waited for Sidney to do the same, hugged Babington and laughed as the two walked out of the chapel hand in hand, beaming with joy.

At last she could overcome the small distance to Sidney and put her hand on his arm, but she couldn't even say a word. As soon as she was within range, Sidney clasped her cheek with his hand, leaned down to her, and put his lips on hers in a tender, loving kiss.

Charlotte's hand reached for his upper arm, as she always did when she was afraid that her legs would give way under her and to give her support, Sidney put an arm around her waist.

It was hard not to deepen the kiss, too many emotions racing through his heart, but he managed only to sip her sweet mouth gently.They were still on the second step in front of the altar, but Sidney needed her now.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Charlotte sounded worried, slid her hand on his chest just above his heart and looked into his eyes. The nickname made him shiver, her concern for him warmed his heart and he kissed her lips again.

"Yes, dear, ... yes.I am fine." 

Also hand in hand, they walked slowly together along the aisle towards the exit, where Mary, Tom and Arthur were waiting for them.

Mary looked at them both closely and put her hand on Sidney’s arm for a moment.She had watched him, seen his changing expressions, and was worried.

"Is everything all right?" She whispered softly, but not softly enough for Tom.

"No, it's not all right. I don't understand why Babington kept the press away from here. It would have been the perfect advertisement,” he nagged, looking really offended.Before anyone could say anything, Charlotte spoke and Tom's head went red.

“We are celebrating a wedding here today, the wedding of two people who love each other.This is not an advertising event, but a day to be spent with friends and family.If you want the press here, you are free to organize a promotional event every other day of the year, but be careful that your sources and guests are trustworthy.” Charlotte stopped with slightly red cheeks, she hadn't wanted to say anything at all, but she was angry with Tom because he was a miserable brother for Sidney and her temper boiled over."Besides, Mary obviously meant something different with her question, but that apparently escaped you. Don't worry about that, but Henry is calling for you, maybe you should pay some attention to him.”

For a moment, Tom looked like he was going to have a tantrum, then looked briefly in Sidney’s direction, lowered his head, and left to have Henry show him a particularly beautiful stone.

Arthur whistled through his teeth, impressed, while Mary laughed softly.Charlotte suddenly became aware of the way she had just spoken to the Parkers family head, her cheeks flushed deeply, and she looked guiltily at Sidney to apologize when she saw him looking at her.

His eyes were shining, his lips were drawn with a gentle, loving smile and he had tilted his head slightly to one side.

"Sorry, he just makes me so angry."

Laughing, Sidney leaned closer, kissed her head, and squeezed her hand."I love you ...," he murmured softly into her hair, causing her a beaming smile.

"You two looked really great up there." Mary wasn't very subtle, but she was just relieved that her nonsensical husband had done no permanent harm in this regard, and it was a relief to see them both so happy.

Charlotte blushed, Sidney didn't answer, and Arthur winked at his sister-in-law before he pushed his arm through hers and led her outside in the sun.

"Indeed they did ..." he murmured softly and heard Sidney laugh.

It was a wonderful celebration. Tables and benches were set up in the area in front of the old building, which had been nicely decorated, and there was even a dance floor.

After dinner they danced, Charlotte danced with the groom, Crowe and Arthur, while Sidney first gave in to Esther and then asked Georgiana to dance with him.

"You have never danced with me," she said when she took his offered hand and let him guide her.

"We've never been to a wedding," Sidney grinned, raising an eyebrow."I'm not exactly the great dancer, but I think I'm making an exception today."

While the two were dancing a slow waltz, his eyes searched for Charlotte.She laughed when Arthur whirled her around, but she also looked for him inconspicuously.

As soon as the song was over, they were drawn towards each other and for the next hour they danced together, pressed close together and get both lost in each other. 

—- ~ —- 

"Are you going for a little walk with me?"

Charlotte whispered the words against his neck, her feet ached from dancing and she wanted to have a moment alone with him.She felt Sidney take a deep breath, press his lips into her hair, and then pull back to look at her.

"I would love that," he whispered with a smile, then took her hand and led her off the dance floor.

They walked down the path toward the lake, and when they were far enough away from the celebrating crowd, Sidney stopped and crouched down. He knew her feet were hurting, so he gently opened the straps around her ankles and took off her white, red-soled high heels. Sighing comfortably, Charlotte enjoyed the feeling of the cool grass under her bare toes and looked gratefully at Sidney. It was these lovely little things that were so special about him, and Charlotte didn't know how to tell him how much she loved him.

"Thank you ...," she whispered softly when he got up and kissed his cheek gently.Sidney just smiled wryly, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her tightly to his side as they slowly walked on.He thought of the last time he had stood with her here on this lake. That was when he wanted to kiss her for the first time - after telling her his miserable story. Now she nestled against him, her arm under his jacket on his back and as then he noticed that she was freezing.

They stopped at the edge of the lake, Sidney took off his jacket and put it gently around her shoulders.

"The last time you did exactly the same thing here on this lake, your warmth and scent completely overwhelmed me." Charlotte looked up at him, snuggled into his warm jacket and took a deep breath.His eyes were intense, went right under her skin and she shivered.“I wanted you to kiss me then.You got closer before Esther interrupted us, and even if I didn't want to admit it at that point, I wished you'd kissed me.”

Sidney swallowed. The sight of her barefoot and wrapped in his jacket, lit by the moonlight in front of the glittering lake, was breathtaking.

His heart was racing just as back then when he took a step closer to her and leaned slightly down."I wanted to kiss you then, and now I'm allowed to do it." At his last words, his warm breath tickled her face, and then his lips rested on hers.

His kiss was slow and full of tenderness.He stroked her mouth with his, put light kisses on her lips before he sipped her lower lip in his mouth to search for her taste. It was Charlotte who parted her lips to trace the outline of his full lower lip before silently asking him to slide into his mouth. He moaned softly, opened willingly to her and greeted her with his own tongue.

They kissed for a long time, Sidney’s arms closed around her body and he lifted her up because he loved the feeling of her light weight in his arms and he knew that she loved it to be carried by him as well.Only when they were both breathless did Sidney put her back on her feet and leaned his forehead against hers.Just as he was about to say something, they heard a loud cry that made them both flinch.

Sidney turned alarmed in the appropriate direction."This is Georgiana's voice," he said worriedly and then started running.Something was wrong.

He hadn't been around the corner of the old building when he heard Georgiana's voice again.

"You're a pig ...," she gasped, but Sidney heard the tension in her voice.He quickened his pace and ran around the corner in a hurry when he saw James Stringer pushing Georgiana behind his broad back and standing in front of another man.

"Just leave her alone and take your nasty fingers away.What do you think who you are?” Stringer hissed at the man.

"What happened?" Sidney had finally reached the group, he couldn't see who James was talking to as he approached the man from behind, but he recognized the voice.

"What do you interfere in, country boy?Fuck off. The little one and I just wanted to have fun.” It was Simmons, the sleazy London investment broker, and Sidney’s blood went cold.

"Georgiana, did he touch you?" Only now did Georgiana notice Sidney since she had been hiding behind James' broad back.

"No ..., James was here in time, he just grabbed my arm," she stammered, it was visibly stressful for her and finally Fred came running, in whose arms she immediately threw herself.

Furious, Sidney turned to Simmons for the first time, who grinned and looked a little drunk.

"Don't you dare look at her again." His voice was cold, his eyes glowed and he wanted to give him a punch. "Get out of here, Simmons, go back to London and don't show up again here.I warn you ...".

Breathing heavily, Sidney looked at James to say thank you, but he hadn't expected Simmons to be drinking too much and therefore be in an aggressive mood.

"Fuck off, Parker," he swore, lifting his fist and putting his full weight on the movement of his arm.

The punch hit Sidney directly in the eye. Completely unprepared, he lost his grip due to the force and staggered while the familiar, sharp pain ran through his body.From afar he heard a scream, this time it was Charlotte's voice and it sounded totally panicked. She must have followed him and his first impulse was to protect her.So he turned in the direction her voice had come from, but that was a mistake.

James hadn't seen the blow coming and was surprised at how strong the sleazy london guy seemed to be. He took a step forward, saw Sidney turn to the startled Charlotte, and called a warning. "Parker, behind you ...".

The second punch hit Sidney straight in the kidneys and now he was really angry.

Like a wild animal - but smooth in his movements, he whirled around, raised his arm and knocked Simmens to the ground with a single blow. 

Panicked, Charlotte felt as if she were suffocating.

She had followed Sidney, had come around the corner shortly after him, and heard him ask about Georgiana.Watching him being beaten probably hurt her almost as much as it hurt him. Shocked, she wanted to reach for him to protect him, saw the blood that immediately flowed from his split eyebrow and screamed before she even noticed that she had opened her mouth.

The second blow was worse to bear because she knew he had turned to her and hadn't paid enough attention.She heard him gasp in pain and watched his body stiffen. His flowing movements and the way he put the man down with just one blow would have been impressive if she hadn't been so terrified.

"Fuck ...," Sidney growled, his body really hurt, just like his fist, and he moved a few steps to catch his breath.He started to tremble with tension, but then he felt her hand on his arm.

He immediately calmed down, his heart slowed, and he turned to look at her. Her face was full of tears and horror, and her hand rose to wipe the blood from his cheek.

"I'm fine ..." he murmured reassuringly, but Charlotte didn't seem to hear him.

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming anger.That day had just been beautiful and now Sidney was hurt.She whirled around like a fury, shoved in front of his body without letting go of him, and her eyes glowing with rage found Simmons, who was just groaning.

“Get out of here, you monster. How can you ...,” her voice cracked and she started to tremble.But then she took a deep breath and straightened up a bit, even though she still looked tiny in Sidney’s jacket. "James, would you please accompany this scum to the parking lot?If he doesn't leave the area in five minutes, please call the police."

James nodded, roughly pulled the man to his feet, and accompanied him around the building.

"Are you all right, Georgiana?" The girl looked up when Charlotte spoke to her and nodded.Fred had pulled her close and spoke to her quietly.

"Is Sidney okay?Is he badly injured?” Georgiana sounded worried and Charlotte looked around. He had freed himself from her and had taken a few steps back towards the lake to sit on a stone.

"Don't worry," Charlotte was already starting to follow him, and all of her senses focused on him. "I'll take care of him."

Sidney smiled slightly as he settled on the stone.

He was hurting, but the feeling of pride and sheer affection that flowed through him overlaid everything else. She was like his guardian angel, his protector. She would defend him everywhere and the thought warmth his heart.

He would never let her go again, never let her disappear from his life again - she was like his air to breathe and the thought of earlier when he had stood in the chapel returned to him.

"Let me do that." With trembling fingers, Charlotte took the handkerchief he had found in his pocket from his hand and carefully tried to wipe the blood off his face. With her knee, she opened his legs to stand between them and put her other hand warm on his cheek to support his head.Despite the fact that he was sitting, his head was almost under her chin and she leaned over him. Tears still ran down her cheeks, though Sidney thought she didn't even notice.

"I can't believe he hurt you so much, how can he ...," she sobbed, Sidney raised his hands and gently put them on her waist to to reassure her.

"It's not that bad, sweety.I've had worse.” Despite his words, Sidney winced as she gently pressed against the open wound.He hissed in pain, which made more tears run down her cheeks and she gently put both hands on his neck.

"Does it hurt a lot?" She looked at him, then leaned closer and carefully kissed the skin just below his eye. "Your eye is already swelling, but the wound on your eyebrow has stopped bleeding." Again she leaned over, kissed his eyebrow without touching the part that had burst and then ran her lips over his forehead.Sidney sat completely still, just looked at her and was unable to suppress the feelings inside him.

Her concern for him, the loving way she looked after him, and the tears on her cheeks made him forget everything and only notice her.

He loved her - loved her so much, and the only thought he had was that he wanted to be by her side for the rest of his life. 

"Marry me."

The rough, hoarse tone of his voice sent a shiver down Charlotte's spine and her inside began to tingle.Did he really just say that?

"What?" Her breath caught in her chest, she looked into his eyes but the expression in them made her legs soft.

"Marry me, Charlotte."

Without thinking, Sidney just said what he felt in his heart."I ... I know that this happens very quickly, and I know I've done this before. I never thought I would ever be at this point again, but .. ".He swallowed, his heart pounded in his throat and he had no idea what she would answer.He only knew that he wanted to marry her.

"Charlotte ... I love you. You are ... my light from the darkness, you are my rescue band - my redemption.I want to spend my life with you, I want to take care of you, _love you_ , and I want to be cared for by your gentle hands.I have never felt so safe and secure with anyone since my mother's death, and I never want to lose you again.” He cried without realizing it, still holding her between his legs and feeling how her thumbs gently stroked his bearded cheek.His head tilted up to her, he looked into her eyes."I want you to be my wife, Charlotte, and I want to be your husband."

Overwhelmed by happiness, love and affection, Charlotte laughed and cried at the same time.Unable to speak, she leaned down and kissed his beautiful mouth tenderly.

"Yes," she whispered on his lips. She whimpered as his strong arms wrapped around her trembling body and shoved her hands into his hair to hold him tight."Yes, I want to be your wife ... I want you to be my husband and I want to marry you." 

Sidney escaped a deep sob, his lips gripped her mouth and he kissed her with a desperation, a deep need which she gave back in the same way. Slowly but demanding, his tongue caressed the inside of her mouth, tangled with hers, and pulled her between his lips to feel her.

Though it caused a sharp stab in his body, he dropped his hands on her thighs, slipped his fingers under her dress over her warm, sensitive skin until he could lift her up, and spread her legs over his lap. She groaned as she sat on top of him, pressed her hips into his and wrapped her arms around him. 

The passion and promise that was in their kiss made her feel like she was merging with him and she wanted to open his pants to be filled by him inside of her. At the same time, he needed everything to resist the urge to ask her to take him in. He wanted to become one with her, completely merge with her and ran his hands over her beautiful, tiny body to touch every part of her. Suddenly a thought occurred to him so that he slowed their kiss by sipping her lips sweetly and then pulled back an inch to look into her eyes.

God, she was so beautiful - and she was his. Completely his.

"I don't even have a ring for you," he whispered slightly embarrassed, but Charlotte chuckled. "I will buy you one, and I would like it if you would wear it."

A few more tears fell from the corner of her eye and Sidney leaned over to kiss her tenderly.

"I'd like to wear a ring from you." Charlotte's voice was so full of emotion that Sidney looked at her again."I love you so much, Sidney." She kissed his face tenderly, brushed her lips over his stubble, and then slid her tongue back into his mouth.

—- ~ —- 

Sidney heard voices and footsteps behind him, causing him to get up from the stone. Still holding her in his arms, he tried not to hiss when her additional weight weighed on the bruise on his kidney, which had surely emerged now, but did not lift his face from her neck.They had clung to each other and talked quietly about how they wanted to get married, and completely forgotten everything else.

Now he gently placed Charlotte's bare feet on the cool grass and heard only a moment later Babington's voice behind him.

"Sidney, are you all right?" He called worried before he got there. Arthur walked anxiously next to him, while Crowe walked a little slower and, above all, swaying a bit drunk.

"James said Simmons hit you hard. I swear if he didn't leave town already in his car I would beat him up myself.”

Sidney grinned.Babington was absolutely not an aggressive guy, but his concern touched him.

"I'm fine," he said, and it was the absolute truth.

"Are you hurt?" Arthur came closer and stopped in shock, but when he grabbed Charlotte's arm, she assured him that she had already taken care of his injuries.

"I had to invite him out of professional duty.If I had known ...,” Babington's brow furrowed when he could finally take a closer look at Sidney and saw how the skin around his eye was already discolouring.

"Oh _fuck_." He cursed and raised his hands in frustration. Crowe, who was now close enough, whistled through his teeth, but Sidney with bruises on his face was not necessarily a surprising sight, so he took a sip from the bottle he had brought with him and sat on the stone on which Charlotte andSidney had been sitting earlier. 

"Georg, it's not that bad.Today is ..., today is a very special day,” Sidney said in a dark voice and couldn't help but look at Charlotte.Neither Arthur nor Georg missed the direction of his gaze and the expression in his eyes betrayed him.

"I don't want this day to be stained with this stupid thing, so let's go back and dance."

Arthur chuckled, saw exactly what was going on between the two, but said nothing. Georg also only raised his eyebrows, but also remained silent when Sidney leaned over to Charlotte's shoes and held out his hand to bring her back to the party.

When they were out of earshot, Arthur leaned closer to Babington and whispered softly."A special day ... hm?"

Georg laughed, looked at the two, and shook his head slightly." _A special day ._..," he murmured - that was really the truth.

They danced, laughed and drank until late at night and when Georg and Esther said goodbye they cheered them all. It was a really wonderful wedding, a nice celebration.

Charlotte waved to the car and then leaned back against Sidney’s chest. His arms had wrapped around her from behind, were tight around her waist and his face was pressed against her hair.

"I don't think I can take another step," she murmured in a sleepy voice. She was really exhausted."I'm terribly tired and my head is buzzing."

Laughing softly, Sidney kissed her temple, ignored the pain in his side, and lifted her up.With a satisfied sigh, Charlotte slipped her face under his chin, wrapped her arms around his neck, and enjoyed how light-footed he was with her in his arms.

"Doesn't my weight hurt you? You were beaten just a few hours ago.” She sounded worried, but didn't lift her head and put her fingers in his hair.

"I will carry my fiancee wherever she wants to go. Your weight will never be too heavy for me."

His words made her tingle and she raised her head. She gently kissed his lips, which were twisted with a happy smile, and noticed the glint in his eyes.

He was really happy.

"I like that ...," she whispered as Sidney carried her to his car."Your fiancee ..., that's exactly what I want to be."

She could practically feel his heart stutter for a moment and then start racing. She felt his lips in her hair, heard him take a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

Sidney hadn't yet arrived at his Porsche when she fell asleep. She hadn't had much sleep lately and he smiled as she breathed warmly and evenly against his neck.

He lovingly brought her home, carried her to their bedroom and carefully undressed her. He also loosened her hair and removed her makeup, and she slept all the time.

Naked and clean, he tucked her under the sheets, undressed himself, and slid next to her to wrap his arms around her and pull her to his chest.She mumbled something quietly, buried her head on his neck like she usually did when they slept, and put her little hand over his heart.

Sidney just enjoyed the feeling of her bare body against his, didn't want to wake her by stroking her and let himself be lured to sleep by her regular breaths and warmth. 

—- ~ —- 

He woke up when her warm, soft body pressed against him.

He was on his side, Charlotte had turned in his arms asleep and slid her back almost on his chest. Her head was still on his shoulder and his arm was comfortably under her, fingers buried in her hair.

Charlotte had slipped her arm over his chest and wrapped her own fingers around his curls. It seemed like she couldn't get enough of it.

A quick look out of the window showed that it had to be in the middle of the night, soft moonlight fell through the window and illuminated her body.

His eyes wandered back to her as if magically attracted, looked at her and absorbed every detail.

She had stripped the sheets up to her hips, her other arm stretched out to her side, and her bare breasts rose and fell with her gentle breaths. The soft light highlighted every curve of her body and made her skin shimmer.

She was beautiful - and she would soon be his wife. 

Sidney couldn't stand it. He had to touch her.

Slowly he let his hand slide from her hip where it was lying on her skin, his fingertips brushed her belly button, dipped briefly in and then ran up over her smooth stomach.He enjoyed the feeling of her soft skin under his fingers, saw the goose bumps that formed wherever he touched her, counted her ribs and finally reached the soft curve of her right breast.

He gently let his fingers follow the swelling, wandered up the valley between her breasts and slid over her collarbone.He wanted to memorize every curve, every bone and every piece of skin so that he would never forget it. But the attraction of her breasts was too strong, so he let his fingers go down again.

Sidney gently stroked her full breast until he reached her nipple. His fingertips gently circled her bud and stroked it until it straightened up and hardened.

Fascinated he watched her reaction to him and felt her fingers close in his curls. Slowly and seductively he played with her now hard nipple and heard Charlotte's lips let out a soft moan. When he covered her breast with his whole hand and held her gently but firmly, she turned her head to him.

Her eyes were still closed, her mouth was slightly open, and her soft breath stroked his face.

Sidney forced himself to release his eyes from her beautiful breast, looked at her and at the same time she opened her eyes.

Their eyes met, pierced each other, but no one said a word. There was nothing to be said. 

Carefully, he pulled out from under her body so that Charlotte was completely on her back and he was on his side next to her.His hand was still holding her breast, but was now slowly sliding across the valley to the other side, stroking her skin there in the same gentle way and teasing her nipple until it became hard and stiff.

His gentle touch had woken Charlotte, her heart had started racing and the look in his dark, soulful eyes made her whole body tingle.

Groaning, her eyes closed again, she felt Sidney’s head drop, but she gasped as he put her nipple between his lips. His mouth was wet and hot, he gently sucked on her nipple and ran his tongue over it. 

How much he loved touching her full breasts and feeling them in his mouth. It was beautiful, and the sound she made caused a shiver run down his back. She was so sensual, but so desperate when he touched her.He knew what she wanted, wanted the same, and gave it to her.

Slowly he ran his hand from her breast over her ribs to her waist and stroked her hip bone. Her skin twitched, unconsciously she rose her hips as if looking for him, and Sidney gave in. He gently slid his fingers on her thigh and enjoyed the feeling of her soft and sensitive skin, but as she arched her back to press her breast more against his mouth, he slipped his hand between her legs.

He stroked her folds very gently, felt that she was already insanely wet and slid into her slit. He opened her with his fingers, caressed gently from her opening to her pearl and enjoyed her moisture. 

The arousing touch of his fingers, his lips, and his tongue made Charlotte burn inside. Her fingers dug into his hair, slid gently over his scalp, and she whimpered almost desperately.

The way he worshiped her body - how he seemed to worship her whole being, had something incredibly intimate, something unifying. It was pure gentleness and tenderness, and in his movements Charlotte felt every deep feeling he had for her.

He wanted her to be his wife, and his touch showed her that it was the truth. 

Sidney only felt her body under his, all his senses were on her and the rest of the world was disappearing.

His full lips caressed the skin of her breasts, he gently pulled her soft flesh into his mouth and sucked on her.Charlotte whimpered as Sidney teased her nipple with his beard and then opened his mouth to draw soft, damp circles with the tip of his tongue. Again she rose, Sidney’s eyes admired her and slowly he switched to her other side to suck her nipple firmly into his mouth.

At the same time, his fingers moved in her warmth, he let her pearl pulsate with his gentle touch, slid back to her entrance and slowly pushed two of his fingers into her. To make him feel deeper inside of her, Charlotte spread her legs wide, heard him growl softly while he sipped her nipple and raised her hips moaning against his slow movements.

It was indescribably beautiful, she felt his admiration for her and gently stroked his strong back with her hands. His muscles trembled under her care, with a loud gasp she felt his teeth against her skin for a moment, but then his long fingers withdrew from her wetness.

They both felt the loss immediately, but Sidney pulled back and took her hands. He gently intertwined her fingers with his and placed them on the bed next to her head.

They looked at each other while Sidney supported himself slightly, but then he lowered his head again.

Slowly and with his mouth open, he placed gentle kisses on Charlotte's skin - her breasts, her collarbone, her neck. His lips sucked on the skin above her pulse point and Sidney felt her racing heartbeat. He slowly moved his torso over hers as his lips came closer to her mouth. But when he reached the corner of her mouth, he looked for her gaze again.

Her eyes were slightly blurred, her feelings inside overwhelmed her, but still she looked trustingly into his dark, almost black eyes.Despite the bruise around his right eye and his eyebrow split, he was beautiful.The intensity of his gaze made her whisper his name, it was as if she could look straight into his soul.

"Sidney ...".

Charlotte wanted to put her hand on his face, but he didn't let go. He slowly lowered his lips to hers, stroked them, kissed them gently and sipped her lower lip lightly. Then he opened his mouth, traced the contours of her full, tempting lips with the tip of his tongue and groaned hoarsely.When she let him dip into her mouth - when she met his tongue with hers and melted into him, Charlotte whimpered with relief.

His kiss was slow and deep, tender and passionate, and slowly he pushed his entire body on top of her.The need to feel her overwhelmed Sidney and his body responded on its own.

His right hand detached from hers, he couldn't resist and slowly stroked her skin again. He covered her breast tenderly, let his thumb encircle her nipple and was only able to loosen slowly. Almost hesitantly, he pushed his fingers deeper until he reached her thigh and gently gripped it to spread her further open.

Charlotte willingly opened her legs wide so that his strong body could slide between her thighs and gasped when she felt his hard, impressive length. His hand had moved back to her breast and was stroking the soft skin hungrily as he pressed his hips lightly against her.

"Charlotte ..., ooh," he murmured into her mouth, his breath was shaky and heavy and he had to tense up when he felt her wetness on his aching cock. Longingly, Charlotte lifted herself against him, against his hand and hips, and Sidney's fingers slid under her back.

She felt him hard and big between her legs, his tip gently stroked her folds and to draw him closer, Charlotte wrapped a leg around his waist.

He didn't resist, they both groaned deeply, each in the other's mouth, as he slowly and carefully pressed his hard, thick cock into her wet entrance.

Sidney felt how tight she was, didn't want to hurt her and stopped when he had buried his entire length deep inside of her. Their panting breath mingled, their lips still touching, and Charlotte moaned softly in his mouth.He wanted to see her, wanted to see her eyes and slowly raised his head.

They were full of love, full of trust and full of admiration.

When he had released her hand, her fingers had moved over his shoulders and back to touch his soft, velvety skin. Now she raised her hand to his cheek, slipped her fingertips over his beard, and ran her thumb over his lips.

"I love you ...".The sound of her voice, hoarse and choked with emotion, brought tears to his eyes.

"I love you too, Charlotte. You will be my wife ... “, Sidney whispered softly, felt her thumb press against his lower lip and kissed her finger gently.

"And you will be my husband ...," Charlotte replied, tensing her inner walls to pull him deeper inside of her.

Sidney sobbed softly, the thought of being her husband, to belong to her for the rest of his life, healed one last wound in his heart. With a shuddering, heavy breath, he gently leaned his forehead against hers, memorized that moment, and then lowered his head again. 

Their lips met, Sidney's tongue tenderly dipped into her mouth and explored her. He danced seductively and sensually with her tongue when he finally began to move carefully.

Slowly, he pulled himself almost completely out of her warmth, just left his tip in her entrance and then thrust himself deep into her - over and over again.

They groaned and whimpered, but never completely separated their lips. Charlotte's hand was between his shoulder blades, her nails scratched over his hot skin, while Sidney lifted her lower back slightly.

She rose to him, gently lifted her hips against his deep, slow thrusts, and felt a deep connection to him in her heart.

Charlotte knew they were sharing something special - it was like they were merging and becoming completely one.Intertwined forever, their hearts beat in the same rhythm.

Overwhelmed by this thought, she let her hand go back into his hair, pulled his head closer to hers and kissed him deep and passionate. Sidney groaned, his fingers - still attached to hers next to her head - curled around her hand, but he didn't speed up his deliberate movements. 

He held on to his slow, deep thrusts, hitting her deep inside again and again and brought them both to the edge.

Charlotte fell apart first, her walls twitched and pulled tight around him, and she had to loosen her mouth from his. Her forehead pressed tightly against his, their lips together with their mouth open, she groaned his name hoarsely.

"Sidney ...".

To see how she surrendered to him, how she let him look into her soul and give herself completely to him took his breath away.He continued to move gently in her warmth, prolonged her climax, before he shivered with his own release.

"Charlotte ...," he breathed her name softly and shakily as he twitched inside of her and poured himself hot into her. His being dissolved completely, he could barely breathe, and began to tremble uncontrollably.The connection with her was so intense, she completed him and yet let him completely lose control of himself.

Charlotte felt him get lost and wrapped her arms and legs around him to hold him safe and tight. Her embrace gave him a hold and Sidney collapsed on her tiny body.Buried deep inside her, he let his tears fall, pressed his face into the curve of her neck, and her presence, her closeness, and her love healed him of his past.

She was his life from now on, he knew they were meant for each other and while her hands were drawing soothing patterns on his back, he vowed to himself to protect and love her unconditionally.

After a while he searched her lips with his, kissed her lovingly and with a promise, and felt how she returned all of his feelings. They stayed like this for a long time, with stroking and dancing tongues and lips.

Sidney’s hand went up over her body and wrapped around her neck and cheek.He held her head and felt her pulse in the palm of his hand - the steady beating calmed him, and his heart beat adjusted to hers again. 

Sidney moved hesitated after what felt like an eternity and he laughed when Charlotte tried to hold him.She didn't want to lose his weight, didn't want him to slip out of her and clung to him.

"I hold you ...," she heard him murmur softly and sleepily, felt how he wrapped his arms around her as he rolled onto his back and let him pull her completely onto his body.

While Charlotte fell asleep with her head under his chin, Sidney stayed awake for a while.

He was grateful that she had found him sleeping on his desk that morning, was grateful that she loved him, and knew that he would love her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sad that this journey ends with the next chapter. This story is very special for me ...
> 
> By the way, I have a few more stories - so if you want to read them, we will maybe see us here again soon ... 😊


	32. Epilog - Photos of special moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end of this story, I would like to thank you for every single comment you left. Without your support, I would never have dared to publish the whole thing. Many thanks.  
> I very much hope that you like the end and hope you enjoyed reading the whole story.

Charlotte tiptoed down the hall and leaned silently against the door frame.

It was early morning, the sun was just rising and cast a soft light in their bedroom. She tried not to make a sound while watching the man in front of her - the view was just too beautiful.

It was Sidney who was sitting on the floor in front of their large, wide bed in their bedroom above the Café overlooking the sea. He was only wearing a tight, black boxer, his hair was still disheveled from sleep and he was humming quietly to himself while he worked concentrated.

He was building a baby cradle.

He had bought the cradle, though it would be months before their child was born, and insisted that it was already placed next to their bed.

"I know you're watching me ...," he suddenly murmured softly, turning his head over his shoulder. When he saw her, his eyes lit up - and then they went dark. "I can feel your eyes sliding over me and do you know why?"

Charlotte laughed softly, bit her lip and went in his direction. Like almost every morning, she had reached for the first piece of clothing she had found on the floor before drinking a glass of water in the kitchen. She usually took his clothes, and even today she only wore the black shirt that he had worn yesterday.Knowing that he could see the black lace panties she was wearing, she sat on the edge of the bed with a smile and crossed her legs.

Oh, she liked teasing him and purposely put on his shirts and always see-through lace panties.She did it because she knew he lost control every time, and even now he couldn't resist and put the baby cradle boards aside to slowly creep up to her.

"Why can you feel it?" She asked innocently now, still biting her lip and looking at him with shining eyes.She gasped as his hands wrapped around her thighs, slipped her fingers over his beard into his hair and enjoyed the way his eyelids fluttered when she touched him.

With a crooked smile, Sidney straightened up on the floor, ran his fingers over her warm, soft thighs to her hips and pulled her closer to him. The lace fabric of her panties was thin under his hands, he knew exactly which panties it was and had to swallow hard.Slowly he leaned closer to her face, saw her teeth finally release the soft, rosy flesh of her lips, and gently stroked his mouth over hers.

"I feel it because your eyes give me goosebumps wherever you look at me." He murmured softly in a dark, hoarse voice and Charlotte trembled. Her hands reached into his hair as Sidney licked the tip of his tongue over her lip where her teeth had just been. Groaning, she opened her mouth, took his full lower lip between hers, and then gently dug her teeth into his soft skin. It made him growl, he moved, rose to his knees and wrapped his arms around her. His hands slid gently into her hair, which she had tied up in a loose braid to hold her head against his.

As his mouth devoured hers and his tongue disappeared between her lips to search for her sweet taste, he heard her moan.The quiet sound, as always, triggered something deep inside him, her body was not close enough to his, he needed her closer and let his hands drop down. Charlotte shivered when she felt his warm, long fingers again on the bare skin of her thighs. He gently loosened her crossed legs, put his palms on her bottom and pulled her hips tight against his as she wrapped her legs around him.

They both gasped loudly when their bodies met. Charlotte was always fascinated by how quickly he could grow so incredibly hard and big, she loved the feeling of his hungry cock on her sensitive middle and wanted to feel him inside her immediately.But suddenly Sidney’s touches became gentle and slow, the tip of his tongue gently licked the inside of her lip, stroked her entire mouth, and when she met him with hers, he groaned almost desperately.

At the same time, his hands began to slowly admire her body. He gently ran his fingertips over the inside of her soft thighs until he found the hem of his shirt and started looking for the buttons she had closed so carelessly. He opened one by one, stroked her bare skin as he searched, running his fingertips through the valley between her breasts, and groaned when the material finally fell apart. 

Charlotte knew that it wasn't out of pure lust that he was touching her now, even though she could feel his hard length seem to grow bigger, but it was a deep need to be close to her and her warmth, to feel her heartbeat and her love for him.

He needed it like the air to breathe - and she willingly gave it to him .... 

His eyes were black and full of emotion as he slowly loosened his lips from hers to see his hands slide his own shirt over her shoulders. Breathing heavily and with his lips open, he let his eyes follow his fingers as they slid over her body.

Over her translucent collarbones to her round, now even fuller breasts. Cautiously and slowly, he gripped both of them from below, lifted them up a little, and as he gently slid a thumb over her rosy, already hard nipple, he lowered his head to her skin with a shuddering breath.

First he pressed his lips to the beauty mark under her throat, then he gently slid his mouth up and down in the valley between her breasts before his beard brushed the delicate skin of the soft hill in his hand.

He felt her shiver, opened his eyes briefly to look at her, and his heart pounded at the sight. With her eyes closed, she had bent her head back, her mouth was open, and her teeth dug into her lip again. Her bare torso was covered with goose bumps, her skin shimmered in the morning light and she was just beautiful.

His eyes fell back to her beautiful breast, his hand tightened around the soft curve and his lips closed around her hard, stiff nipple.

The loud, moaning whimper that escaped her was almost unbearable, her hips rolled against his cock, which ached in his tight boxers and he began to suck gently.

"Ooh, ... Sidney." It was barely audible, hoarse and shaky - and pleading.

She loved it when he did this, just the way he loved it. Sidney couldn't help him growl deep and loud as his lips opened.At first he just gently pressed his flat tongue against her rosy bud. But the bud seemed to be begging him, stretching out stiffly, which is why he slowly let the tip of his tongue circle.

Then his fingertips found her wet bud and Sidney let his warm, open mouth slide over her skin.With his other hand, he lifted her heavy breast up further, enjoyed the sight of it for a moment, and just let his hot breath brush over her twitching skin.

"I love sucking on your stiff nipples. They are so hard in my mouth and beg my tongue to lick them.” He murmured softly and hoarsely on her breast as he stroked his beard over her nipple.

Whimpering, Charlotte bent towards him - he teased her.When she felt his wet tongue slide across her nipple, only briefly, she groaned almost frustrated.Through the haze in her head she heard him laugh softly, but he gave her what she wanted, touched her nipple again with his tongue, but this time he pressed hard against it and painted wet circles.

She would never get enough of that feeling, it made her heart race, but as she pulled on his curls, his lips closed and he sucked hard.

It was almost a scream that escaped her, her body shivered, and her bones softened. Slowly she sank back onto their bed, her shoulders hit the soft, dark sheets, and her back arched up.

She felt Sidney’s mouth follow her, holding her nipple between his lips and his tongue soothing against the sensitive bud.But when she whispered his name again, he raised his head and looked at her.

God, she was so indescribably seductive. With shining eyes, he let his flat, large palms slide over her bare torso, over her breasts, her ribs up to her belly. 

There was hardly any swelling to be seen, their baby was still small in her stomach and Sidney carefully put both hands over her belly.

It was a miracle for him to know that his child was growing inside. He would give his life to protect them both. Indescribably tender he lowered his head, put only loving kisses all over her belly, stroked it with his beard and lips and Charlotte shivered when she heard his scratchy, dark voice.

"I will love you forever - both of you."

It was like an oath, tears came to Charlotte's eyes and she pulled him closer with her legs as Sidney pressed his face against her navel and took a deep breath.

They lay motionless for a few moments while Charlotte's gaze fell on the wall opposite the bed. 

~ 

Several framed photos hung there, each showing the deep connection they both had to each other.

The first witnessed a moment when they didn't even know they had been photographed.It showed them both on the edge of the lake in front of Denham Place. Charlotte was barefoot and wrapped up in Sidney’s much too large jacket while he lifted her up and kissed her.Mary had taken the photo and given it to them with a happy smile two days later.When she hugged Sidney, she had whispered softly in his ear.

"What you two share is special, Sidney. This moment in the photo clearly shows it.” She had pulled back and looked him in the eye before speaking further."I know you asked her to marry you, and I can't tell you how relieved and happy I am that you've finally found your home, brother."

Mary had kissed his cheek and then hugged Charlotte, whom the tears were running down the face.

They had both been surprised since they hadn't spoken to anyone about their engagement, but apparently they couldn't hide their joy very well.

The next photo on the wall showed them both on their wedding day.

They had only waited a month before getting married on the terrace in front of the Café at sunset.

In those four weeks, they had gone to Willingden for a few days, where Charlotte proudly introduced her fiance to her family.Sidney had been terribly nervous, and since Charlotte found his insecurity so insanely sweet and attractive, they had had to stop at a narrow river along the way. Charlotte had grown up there, so she knew her way around and had led the stunned Sidney to a remote place where she had seduced him.

They had stripped and then loved each other in the cold water, but Sidney’s nervousness hadn’t gone.It was only when her father shook his hand and greeted him in the Heywood family that he regained control of himself. Allison had hugged him crying and apologized for her bad advice, but Sidney had laughed and returned her hug.

Charlotte had enthusiastically showed him every place she loved as a child, told him stories about her experiences, and Sidney had absorbed everything.

To hear about her happy childhood and youth was was special for Sidney and he could well imagine her here.

After these few days, they had returned to Sanditon to prepare for their wedding and to proceed with the renovation of their apartment.After three days back, Sidney had rushed into the Café one evening so furious that Charlotte and Arthur, who were just designing a logo for their new coffee brand, were startled.

"What happened?" Charlotte had got up carefully, had slowly approached him and only when her hand touched his arm did he stop and look at her.

"He said it would only be right if I involve him into the coffee business." He practically growled, breathed quickly and looked completely wild. "Can you imagine that?He said it had always been a family business and should remain one.”

Charlotte immediately understood that he was talking about Tom and the coffee roaster, and she tightened her grip on his arm. Sidney had let her lead him to the table where Arthur was still sitting, and he had leaned back exhausted..

"He'll never change ...," he finally muttered, and neither Charlotte nor Arthur had known what to say about it.

It was Mary who had forced her husband to apologize to Sidney, and Sidney had only given in because of the proximity of his wedding. Even so, the relationship between the brothers was tense, but to Charlotte's relief, it didn't spoil the mood of their wonderful day. 

Since they met for the first time in the Café, they had decided to get married there too.

It had been a beautiful evening in autumn, it was warm and sunny and like a dream.They didn't want a big wedding, just a small celebration with friends and families, and the day went exactly as they wished.

Sidney had stood in the late light of the day under a rose arch that James had built and Allison and Georgiana had decorated to wait for Charlotte. He had started to cry as soon as he saw her, and they had hugged each other for a long time before the ceremony could begin. 

The photo on their bedroom wall showed them both standing inside the Café later that evening. Sidney had been completely dressed in black - a black vest, an anthracite shirt, and black pants. He had rolled up his sleeves and leaned back against the counter. He held Charlotte in his arms, her back against his chest and her head on his shoulder.

She had worn a long, white dress that had flowed around her body like water and had shown her beautiful curves more than it had hidden them.It had broad lace straps over her shoulders that ended in a deep V between her breasts. The neckline on her back had been deeper and showed her tanned skin. The dress had been covered with an embroidery of tiny rose petals that had ended in a velvet ribbon.

She had been beautiful, and while walking up to him, Sidney had seen the white shoes with the red sole under her dress.

On the photo, he had wrapped his arms tightly around her small body, and Charlotte had placed her arms on his to press herself against him even more.Her lips were against his neck as Sindey's cheek pressed against her hair.She had her curls loosely pinned around her head, but strands of hair had escaped and lay around her bare neck.

They both smiled, seemed completely lost in each other, and looked absolutely happy.

Both of them would always remember that at that moment he had whispered in her ear with his dark, deep voice and they both would never forget his words.

"If I don't have to, I'll never let you ever go again, Mrs. Charlotte Parker.This is exactly where I am at home - in this house, with my wife in my arms, whom I love with all of my being. Thank you, sweety, that I can be your husband."

They hadn't slept that night, but made love, laughed, cried and looked at each other, so as not to miss a moment and have the opportunity to remember it forever.

There was a photo further down on the wall that was taken shortly afterwards.It only showed Charlotte since Sidney had taken it, but he loved that picture.

Charlotte was standing in the middle of his large coffee plantation in Antigua,her hands in her wild hair and she laughed over her shoulder directly at the camera.

It had been the first evening when they got there, and although Sidney knew she was exhausted from the long flight, she had insisted on taking a walk through the coffee plants.She had looked beautifully fascinated by the foreign country, the heat, the smells and bright colors, and Sidney had known that he had to capture this moment.

They had planned to stay there for two weeks, but in the end it was almost five.With enthusiasm, Charlotte had let Sidney show her everything, they had stood with the workers on the plantations to have the work steps explained and they had felt at home in the small house.

They had argued, of course, too, but only about Sidney's view that Charlotte was working too hard and needed more rest, or that Sidney was too concerned about whether he would make the coffee roastery in Sanditon successful.

Each time they argued, they loved each other exactly where they were, sometimes wild and fast, sometimes slow and tender.It was a relief for Sidney to share his life with someone who supported him, with whom he could share his worries, and the bond between the two of them grew stronger and stronger.

When they got home, they moved directly into the apartment in the old house on the beach promenade.A few pieces of furniture and other things were missing, but this was their home and they didn't want to wait any longer to live there.

Another photo showed the day of the first bean delivery to the coffee roastery in Sanditon. A truck was driving through the large gate into the factory yard, where Sidney and Charlotte were standing, nervously holding hands.

It had been an incredibly exciting and satisfying day, and in the end they both had tears in their eyes as they stacked the big boxes of coffee beans in the coffee roasting hall.It had taken Sidney a while to determine the right roasting time for the beans, but now the coffee was exactly what he wanted it to be.

To Sidney’s surprise and to Charlotte’s complete satisfaction, they were successful from the start. They sold packaged roasted beans all around Sanditon and now even in a small shop in London. The Café was even more crowded, especially on the days when Sidney was behind the counter preparing the coffee.

The last photo on the wall only showed Sidney and had just been taken a few weeks earlier.

He hadn't noticed that Charlotte had photographed him, and when she had hung the black and white picture on the wall, he smiled and looked at her with an illegible look. 

It showed him sitting on the steps near the Café that led down to the beach.He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, his bare forearms were on his knees, and he was smoking. It was the last cigar he had lit, while sitting there looking at the sea after a long and satisfying day of work.

Charlotte had watched him for a long time, worried at first whether something was bothering him, but his face had grown into a slight smile, which had reassured her. He had looked incredibly beautiful in the fading daylight - attractive, sexy and sensual at the same time, and she had wanted to capture that moment.

When she sat down on the step below and slid between his legs, he immediately extinguished the cigar so that she didn't had to inhale the smoke. 

"Are you okay, sweatheart?"

Her voice had sounded worried, so with an apologetic sum - because he had troubled her - he had put his arms around her and buried his head on her neck.

“I'm fine, I'm sorry." He had swallowed and enjoyed the way she had put her hands on his to intertwine her fingers with his. After kissing her neck, he had put his chin on her shoulder."I thought of my mum, that's the reason for the cigar.It's the last one in the box and I don't want to buy a new one.”

Charlotte had taken a deep breath of relief. Not only was it unhealthy, Arthur had once said Sidney would only smoke if something bothered him, and she hoped he was happy.

"She ... she would have liked you very much," he had whispered quietly and watched as his breath moved her wild curls.

"I think I would have liked her too." Charlotte had turned her head so she could look at him, but when his lips brushed hers gently, she had to close her eyes. It had been such a sweet kiss, full of love, and his arms had drawn her closer to his strong body.It had given her the strength and security to tell him what she had wanted to tell him all day, and her heart was racing.

"And I think she would be indescribably proud of you. The man you have become, the life that you are living now - here, with me in this house.She would also be proud of what you have achieved with your coffee beans, with the Café ...,” she had taken a deep breath, looked for his eyes and then continued in a low, loving voice.

"I think she would also be proud of the father you will soon be, and it makes me sad that she won't see you with your baby in your arms." 

It had taken a moment for Sidney to understand her words.They had never spoken about it directly, but a few months ago when Charlotte was about to open a new pack of the contraceptive pill one evening, Sidney had taken the box from her hand and thrown it into the trash can. Charlotte had smiled at him and followed him to bed, but that was a while ago.

Charlotte had been able to see exactly the moment he understood the meaning of her words - a deep furrow had appeared on his forehead, his eyes had darkened and widened at the same time, and his hands had slid to her stomach.

"You ... you mean ...," he had barely been able to speak, his voice had only been a rough whisper and when she nodded, he had moved with strong, quick movements.

He had turned her over, put his hands around her waist and stood up. In the same motion, he had lifted her off the ground, buried his head in her hair, and laughed and cried at the same time. Surprised, but happy, Charlotte had put her arms around his neck, had buried her head in the crook of his neck, and felt completely safe in his arms..

"We're having a child?" Sidney had murmured the words in disbelief as they stood in front of the Café in the dark."You make me a father, Charlotte?"

"Yes," with tears on her face at his obvious delight, Charlotte had put her hands on his cheeks and looked at him."Yes, Sidney, our child is growing inside of me."

His shuddering, sobbing breath had tickled her face, but then his lips had been on hers.They had kissed long, deep and full of love without Sidney having even put her on her feet once.

"I love you, dear." Sidney had whispered the words in her mouth, unable to detach from her, "I promise I'll take care of you, you and our child, and I'll do better than my father."

Charlotte knew that was something he was afraid of - not being better than his father.But she also knew that he would be an incredible father, just as he was an incredible husband.

"I know, sweatheart," she had murmured full of trust and wiped his tears before kissing his bearded cheek."I love you ..., you will be a wonderful father. A wonderful father for our child."

He had carried her gently up the stairs that evening and carefully undressed her.Then he had laid his head on her stomach, stroked and kissed her skin again and again while he had spoken lovingly to his unborn child. 

~ 

Just like now, he had breathed deeply back then, and just like now, her scent had almost driven him insane.

He let his lips slide down from her navel until he reached the waistband of her panties.His tongue slowly licked the lace, but her scent was too strong.Sidney raised his head, admired her body with his eyes, and dropped his hands on her thighs.Her legs were spread, but it wasn't enough for him. As he ran his fingers up, he pushed her legs further apart. Charlotte groaned, gave him what he wanted and loosened her ankles behind his back. She gasped when she suddenly felt his hot mouth on the inside of her thigh and arched her back up. Then it was his tongue that slid up until he reached her panties and raised his head again.

"You know that these panties make me lose my mind, don't you?" Sidney gently ran his finger over the black, transparent fabric. She was so wet that the panties were darker and showed more.Her rosy folds, her yearning bud and when Charlotte laughed breathlessly, he licked his tongue over the wet spot.She groaned loudly, her hips rose and Sidney kept her motionless.

"Ohh Charlotte ...," Sidney growled."I love your taste in my mouth, I love to see when you spread yourself and get wet for me."

"Please ... Sidney ...".Charlotte's voice was choppy and rough, her breath was heavy and for a moment Sidney admired the sight of her breasts lifting up quickly.He reached up with one hand, enclosed the soft hill and Charlotte immediately put her hand on his.

Unconsciously she spread her legs further apart, so that her folds under her panties also opened and Sidney’s eyes slid back there.Slowly he pushed his index finger into the waistband of her panties and pulled the fabric down a little.He kissed her now exposed skin gently, but it was far too high. Whining, Charlotte raised her hips, wanted him to take off her panties, but Sidney already had his hand under her and held her round buttocks. He stroked her, ran his mouth over the skin of her thighs and took a deep breath.

"Let me feel you, Sidney please ..., your lips, your tongue ...".Her breathless request made him give up.How should he resist her?

Without removing his eyes from her - still kneeling on the floor in front of her - he pulled the black, sexy panties over her legs. As soon as she was released from the lace, he grabbed her thighs again with both hands, pulled her a little closer to the edge of the bed and then gently spread her open.Again his lips slid over the inside of her thighs before he started putting gentle, sweet kisses on her most intimate places.When he reached her folds, he kissed her tenderly, then the hill just above her middle, but he wanted to look at her.He loved looking at her ...

Whimpering, Charlotte reached for him, raised her head, but the sight of him was far too arousing. When she felt his fingers, her head fell back and she groaned his name. 

He glided very gently through her wet slit, saw her moisture glisten on his fingers, and then spread her folds apart with his thumbs.

"You're so wet ...," he breathed, tonelessly, but then he finally lowered his head.

Demandingly, his tongue dipped straight into her opening, thrust deep inside of her and made her let out a desperate scream. Her taste was sweet and overwhelming, he wanted more of it and painfully slowly pulled his tongue out of her inside to gently lick her entrance. He circled around it, groaning deeply, knowing that she must feel the vibration of his voice inside her.

Completely breathless and lost, Charlotte whimpered, her body burned and the tingling became almost unbearable. She reared up and reached into his curls with one hand when the tip of his tongue finally licked through her slit. As he pressed his tongue against her aching pearl she breathed in sharply, but she screamed as he took the delicate bundle of nerves between his lips and gently sucked on it.

The noises she made made his cock throb with longing for her, he was indescribably hard and ached for her warmth.

As he licked through her slit again, he gently entered her with one finger. She moved against his penetration and whined softly.

"More ... I want to feel your fingers deep inside me, Sidney."

God, he would burst with arousal if she continued to speak in that longing, seductive voice.

He slid gently out of her inside, watched his wet finger rub her liquid over her pearl, and then entered her again with his tongue. It was exhilarating to feel his hot, wet tongue inside of her and the hot ball in Charlotte's body was growing. But it wasn't enough, she needed more, but just when she wanted to beg him again, he gave it to her.

Sidney knew she was close, her whole body trembled, and as he slid his flat tongue through her slit to suck her pearl into his mouth, he thrust three fingers deep into her.

Moving slowly and demanding in her wet, hot hole, he felt her inner walls contract tightly and drove her to the edge.

She came undone and called his name as he pressed his thumb firmly onto her pearl and circled over it, spreading her even further with his fingers to push his tongue also into her.

Even when her walls twitched and her body was flooded with her climax, he did not stop his movements, kept pushing his fingers slowly into her and licked her wetness from her entrance with his tongue.

When she collapsed on the bed, her moan became a little whimper and her hand slipped from his head, he sipped her pearl gently, stroked her shimmering folds with his mouth, and then put his head on her thigh.He kept his fingers inside her, stroked her twitching walls soothingly and fought the urge to climb over her immediately. 

He gave her time, waited for her breathing to calm down, but was too slow when Charlotte straightened up, raised his head to hers, and devoured his mouth with her lips. Slowly, she slid from their bed onto his lap, Sidney grabbed her breast and took her nipple between the tips of his fingers. Her movement pushed his fingers deeper inside of her, but he wanted to feel her wetness on his cock.

Gently and with a small humming sound, he removed his fingers, put his hand on her bare bottom, and pressed her hips against his.

They kissed passionately for a long time, Charlotte practically adored his mouth with hers and lovingly stroked his body with her hands. She gently slid up his spine into his hair, stroked his scalp and held his head close to hers.When he tried to lift her up to free himself from his boxers to finally feel her warmth, she pressed herself against his hands. 

Charlotte had other plans, pressed her palms against his shoulders and made him slowly lean back.Only when he was lying on his back and she was sitting completely on top of him did she detach from his mouth and looked into his eyes.

"I love you ...," she whispered softly and saw him look at her lovingly.

"I love you too ...," he began to reply, but then his voice broke and his breath caught.

Slowly, Charlotte slid down on his body and put her lips on his chest. She started kissing him everywhere, sliding her tongue over his thick, twitching muscles and sucking his warm skin into her mouth. The deeper she came, the harder Sidney breathed.He longed to feel her wet mouth on him, but was also afraid that he would not be able to hold back this time.

He still had her taste on his lips, the sight of her naked body on top of him and her lips on his skin were so arousing and beautiful that he was near to lose control.

And then she had reached his boxers. 

Just like he did with her, she pressed her face against the fabric and took a deep breath.

The imprint of his cock under the fabric was huge, she was still impressed by his size and length and with a soft hum she let her lips follow the shape.

Sidney groaned softly, reached for her hand on his stomach with his and intertwining their fingers. She could feel his body shaking, she knew he was tensing up so as not to lose himself, but she wanted to give him the same pleasure that he gave her.

Slowly, she sat up, carefully pulled his boxers over his strong legs, and then pushed them apart to sit between them. Sidney breathed heavily, watched her as she looked at him and saw her eyes seem to admire every spot of him.

"You are beautiful, Sidney, and you are my husband." She sobbed at the words. He would be forever the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, and he was absolutely hers.

"I'm forever yours ...," Sidney whispered, his dark voice tingling inside Charlotte and they looked at each other until Sidney felt her hands on his thighs and his eyes closed.

She gently stroked his soft, sensitive skin, slid over his hip bones and smiled slightly when his cock seemed to be twitching towards her hands.She lowered her head, let her warm breath slide over him and heard him moan softly.It sounded desperate and longing at the same time, she knew how painful it must be for him and licked his hard length with her wet tongue.

"Charlotte ...," he hissed loudly, his back arched and his breath became even harder. When he felt her lips close around his tip and her tongue circling around him, he stopped breathing completely and reached into her hair. He didn't want her to stop, wanted her to take him in her warm mouth and was afraid of it at the same time.

Charlotte could taste him, licked his moisture from his tip, and then began to suck him deeper and deeper into her mouth. He growled, groaned and whimpered - all in one. The sounds spurred her on and she put her fingers warm around his root to gently rub him and covered his balls with the palm of her other hand.

She felt him pull her hair lightly and heard his pleading voice, which made an overwhelming tingling inside her.

"Oh fuck .. Charlotte.I can't ... I ... ".

Slowly she let her mouth slide up and down on his hard cock, he seemed to get even longer and when she licked his tip again with her tongue, several drops of his moisture formed there. She groaned herself as she put her lips tightly around his tip to suck, and then Sidney straightened, panting.

"Sweety, you are killing me ... you have to stop." He wanted to detach her head from him, had both hands in her hair, but Charlotte raised one hand and pressed against his chest to make him lean back again. She felt how he wanted to fight back, but when she sucked harder on him, let her mouth slide back on him and took him in as far as she could, he sank back.

With a loud bang he hit the back of his head on the floor. He let out a loud, desperate groan and his body tightened. What she couldn't put in her mouth from his cock, she rubbed with her hand, slowly pumping up and down as her mouth moved on him. Sidney felt like he was just dying. He wanted to stop her, but was absolutely unable to do it. He had never felt what she was doing to him - never allowed it and his cock began to pulsate in her wet, warm mouth.

"Charlotte ..., I ... I'm too close ... oh shit." Charlotte could feel him giving up to fight back, the grip of his hands tightened a little, although he was only holding her and not trying to move her, but his hips began to rise slowly. The feeling of pride that flowed through her made her even braver. She began gently rubbing his balls with her hand, felt the soft skin contract, and heard his moans grow louder.

For a moment she stopped the movements of her mouth, just holding his tip to lick her tongue around as she pumped her hand up his entire length. His veins were thick and sensitive, his cock insanely hard, and one of his hands slipped onto her cheek.

With one last attempt, one last effort, he tried to pull her up while begging her."Let me enter you, Charlotte, let me give you pleasure too."

She looked up at him, met his blurry gaze and could see him getting lost.The sight of her, her sweet lips wrapped around the tip of his cock as her hand gently slid up and down, was too much. He completely lost control and surrendered to her power.

"Aahhh ...".A dark, long growl escaped his open lips as Charlotte sucked him hard and firmly back into her mouth.This time she took in more of his length, wrapped the rest of him with her fingers, and started sliding up and down again.Sidney couldn't help but move his hips to the same rhythm as her head, tried not to poke her mouth too hard, and writhed and moaned beneath her.

Charlotte felt him grow thicker and start pulsing in her mouth. She sucked him deep and tight into her throat and just moved her fingers on his root. Sidney’s movements also stopped, his body tightened and she could feel him trying to pull her head away, but she didn’t release him. And then she finally heard him scream hoarsely and defeated her name as his sperm shot into her throat.

"Charlotte." His back arched, his legs closed around her body, and his hands held her head as his climax raced through him. Charlotte swallowed everything he gave her, gently sucked on him and stroked his tense body with her soothing hands.

When he reached for her this time, she didn't resist, released his still large but not so hard cock from her mouth and let him pull her onto his body. Almost painfully, he hugged her, buried his head on her neck and turned a little to one side. 

It was only when his breathing became calmer and the trembling subsided in his bones that Charlotte could understand the words he was incessantly whispering into her skin, and lifted her head in surprise.

"I'm sorry, sweety. Please forgive me."

He was too weak to hold her tight, whimpered as she spread her legs over him and sat on top of him, but he didn't look at her. He had covered his face with one hand as if trying to hide himself.

"What should I forgive you, honey?" She asked softly and quietly, carefully pulling his hand away.

With his eyes closed, Sidney shook his head, still trying to breathe steadily.

"I've lost control, Charlotte, what you did to me was far too ... too good. I've never allowed anyone to ..., I ...".His voice sounded embarrassed and Charlotte leaned down to kiss him sweet and lovingly.After a moment he returned her kiss, tenderly shoved a hand in her curls to tilt her head to the side and caressed and adored her mouth with his tongue.

"You gave me your control, Sidney, and I held you. The way you hold me when I lose myself. I love you, and seeing you like this, hearing you like this is like a gift to me.”

Her lips were still touching his as she spoke, tears sparkled in Sidney’s eyes and he kept kissing her mouth gently.

"I love you ..., I love you Charlotte." 

In a single, flowing movement, he got up, lifted her up with him and held her small body in his arms.Completely surprised and impressed by his strength, Charlotte groaned, wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and could already feel that Sidney was almost completely hard again between her thighs.

Carefully and with his lips on hers, he climbed onto their bed, placed her lovingly on her back and leaned on one hand to look at her.Infinitely slowly he ran his hand over her thighs until he reached her folds between her legs and groaned full of lust. She was soaking wet, asked for him - needed him and that thought instantly made Sidney rock hard. He only managed to move his fingers up and down a few times in her slit before thrusting into her entrance. But Charlotte didn't want his fingers, she wanted him, and she complained desperately.

"Make us one, Sidney, come inside me and let me feel you." She whispered the words against his cheek and Sidney couldn't resist her. With one hand he took hold of himself, ran the tip of his cock through her wetness until she lifted her hips towards him and then pressed his fingers against her spreaded folds where he disappeared into her tight, wet entrance. His hoarse groan mingled with hers as he entered her, and when he had buried his entire length inside of her, he raised his eyes to her face. She had bent her head back with her lips open, her breasts rose towards him and slowly he grabbed her full breast and lowered his head to close his lips around her hard bud.

Charlotte moaned and shoved her fingers into his hair, enjoyed his warm mouth, but she wanted to feel his weight on her. So she gently pulled his whole body onto hers, raised his head with her hands and looked into his eyes. The love in his gaze was overwhelming, his dark eyes worshiped her and when they kissed, they started to move together.

They loved each other slow, tender and deep.Charlotte was still indescribably tight, her wetness and warmth was like a home for Sidney’s cock, he filled her completely and hit a special spot deep inside her. Wrapped around each other, they kissed or pressed their faces together. Sidney’s thrusts remained hard and slow, their fingers intertwined, and even though they were both completely lost, they knew the other would hold them.

When they climaxed together, all they could do was whisper the other's name. Exhausted, Sidney went weak, slide to the side and pulled Charlotte's also weak body with him so that he could stay in her warmth.Breathing heavily, their limbs became tangled, they really were one, and although it was now late morning, they both fell asleep while kissing. 

—-~—- 

They had slept less than an hour when Sidney’s phone on the bedside table started to vibrate.He groaned in frustration, rolled onto his back, and put an arm over his eyes.He just wanted to stay right where he was ...

He heard Charlotte chuckle, felt her lay over his torso to look at his phone, and put his big hands on her bare back.

"Hmmm ...". He hummed while his fingers followed her spine and looked at her as she moved against his touch.Her face was directly over his, her eyes were still a little sleepy, her hair wild, but she smiled brightly at him.

"We have to get up, my sweet sleepyhead. Tom already reminded you with five messages that his garden party would start in two hours.” Slowly Charlotte lowered her face as she spoke, stroking her lips on his cheek.Whining, Sidney grimaced, shook his head, and tightened his grip on her.

"No ... I tried to forget that." The thought of having to leave the house and spend the day with his brother wasn't what Sidney wanted at all.

"Don't whine, better carry me into the shower and let me lather you up ...".The tone of her voice made Sidney look up, he looked into her teasing eyes and laughed.She always made him laugh, even if he didn't feel like it at all ...

He let her squeak as he grabbed her body and got up in one motion. With her legs around his waist and her hands in his hair, he carried her into the shower, where she squeaked even more when he switched on the water without warning and placed both of them directly under the cold jet.He was happy when she pressed closer to him, looking for warmth - as she always did and searched her lips to kiss her long and gently.

A while later, warm, clean, and content, he lay on their bed in dark jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, trying to silence his phone.Tom kept sending him reminders with big emojis. Charlotte was standing at their closet, slipping a simple, nice summer dress over her head when he frustratedly put the phone under his pillow because it was vibrating again.

"Do we really have to go to this party?I really don't feel like it, and he's already driving me crazy with his reminders.” Sidney sounded really stressed. Although Tom kept himself completely out of the coffee business and hadn't mentioned his involvement again, the relationship between the brothers was still tense.There had been no further quarrels, Tom was gracious and kind, sometimes too exuberant, but there was still a gap between the two.

"Tom is organizing this garden party for us, for our baby, for our success with the coffee roastery and the Café and he is doing it for you." Charlotte slowly approached him as Sidney sat up. She spoke softly and tenderly, her expression serious.

"I think ... I think we have to try to forgive him.For Mary and the children, for Arthur and Diana - for this whole family.I know you're still hurt and I'm still angry, but he's trying his best to be a good brother, just like he's trying to be a good brother-in-law. He does what he can and I know that he loves you. We should just try to forget the past ... ".

Sidney was silent for a moment, though he knew she was right.So he sighed and looked up at her as he reached for her hand.

"You're right," he murmured, kissed the palm of her hand and then pulled her towards him so that she knelt on the mattress of their bed. 

"Can I at least take care of your hair if I have to go to a garden party?"

Charlotte laughed out loud, his pouting face was really cute, but his request made her heart skip a few beats.

It wasn't the first time he took care of her hair, but it was something incredibly special each time and triggered a deep feeling of love in her.

He had combed her hair for the first time when they were in Antigua and her curls were completely tousled by the sun and the hot air.He had been so gentle and tender, stroking her scalp and taking his time to tie her hair into a neat knot on her head.The second time had been when Jenny, Alicia and Henry had stayed here with them overnight and the girls had begged him in the morning to make them the Rapunzel hairstyle again.When he gave in and fulfilled their wish, Charlotte had just sat in the chair in front of him and waited for him to braid her hair too.Since then, either she or he had asked for it, and they both knew that they loved those moments especially.

"I would love that ...," she murmured, kissed his lips and then sat in front of him on their bed. He slid behind her, wrapped his long legs around her, and crossed them with hers before lifting his hands to her head.

Sidney gently combed her still wet hair, dividing it into several thick sticks, and then he began carefully to braid her hair.

About halfway through his work, he leaned down to press his lips on the back of her neck and for a moment slipped his hand on her stomach.

"I love you, Charlotte. You and the little being in there.” His voice was dark and deep - and full of honesty."Thank you for being here with me."

Charlotte shivered, turned her head over her shoulder, and raised a hand to his cheek.

"I love you too, Sidney," she replied, running her lips over his."And I am exactly where I belong."

They kissed gently and tenderly before they remember that they were soon expected at a garden party.

Sidney again carefully began to braid her hair into thick braids and put them around her head.It was something he loved to do and he hoped that they would have a daughter so that he could spoil her with his unusual abilities as well.

They had already spoken about it - they would call her _Rose_ ... 

He hadn't expected to be so completely happy in his life - here in Sanditon, but he was.

When he was done and Charlotte looked beautiful, he put his head on her shoulder, pressed his lips against her neck and wrapped his arms around her.

They both felt at home, wrapped in the warmth and fragrance of the other, their bodies close together and with their arms and legs crossed.

They were both where they were meant to be.

\--The End--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ...


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